LADIES, WE NEED TO TALK…

Being a woman in South Africa can be taxing, perilous and, in many instances, deadly. It is without any doubt that the stranglehold placed on women is decidedly male and that the tentacles of the system of patriarchy reach out to many aspects of our socioeconomic and political lives. And, as if the clutches of patriarchy are not strong enough, sometimes a feminine chokehold also shows up.

Stories about women who abuse other women are not told enough. Such abuse is a foundational aspect of patriarchy, without which men would find it harder to dominate women.

Xoliswa Nduneni-Ngema’s description of her beating then 17-year-old actress Leleti Khumalo for cheating with her husband, Mbongeni Ngema, is just one example. In her recently published memoir, Nduneni-Ngema details a vicious assault on Khumalo, then just a child, because the former could not confront the real source of her anger – her abusive husband.

I want to make the point that this