Marriage Minute: Quick & Simple Ways to Build a Divorce-Proof Relationship
By Dave Willis and Ashley Willis
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About this ebook
"Marriage Minute" is full of practical ways to take your marriage to a new level. Dave and Ashley Willis (the Founders of the facebook Marriage Page) share personal stories and inspiring examples of how to put these principles into practice. In keeping with the theme, all the readings in this book can be completed in 1-2 minutes giving you quick and simple ways to make consistent investments of time into your marriage.
Dave Willis
Dave Willis pasó trece años como pastor a tiempo completo y ahora es conferencista, autor, coach de relaciones y presentador de televisión para MarriageToday. Trabaja con su esposa, Ashley, para crear recursos para la creación de relaciones, medios y eventos como parte del equipo en www.MarriageToday.com y www.xomarriage.com. Tienen cuatro hijos pequeños y viven en Keller, Texas.
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Marriage Minute - Dave Willis
Ashley
Part 1:
Creating the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted
Steve and Sarah seemed beyond hope. I sat listening to Sarah pour out her heart, and as I listened, I silently prayed that God would work a miracle in her marriage. To be honest, I wasn’t very optimistic. They were in a bad place.
Sarah had been a survivor all of her life. As a young child, she had been an orphan living on the streets in South America. She spent her time searching for food in trash cans and sleeping wherever she could. Then one day, an orphanage took her in. Her life changed completely when an American couple adopted her and brought her to the United States.
Even though the adoption was a wonderful gift, Sarah still had to radically adjust to a new language, a new culture, and a whole series of difficulties through her adolescence. However, she overcame them all. After she and Steve were married, she continued to overcome obstacles by surviving the pressures of military life, raising a young family and even beating cancer.
Sarah had conquered each barrier that life had ever thrown her way, but for the first time in her life, she found herself facing an obstacle that she couldn’t beat in her own strength. Her marriage was in shambles and putting it back together seemed impossible. Things had gotten so bad, that Steve had not even been by her side during her chemotherapy treatments or cancer recovery. Their relationship had dissolved into a mixture of resentment, anger, confusion, financial pressure, miscommunication and even domestic violence.
Her negative feelings for her husband and his for her had gone on for so long that they had both became indifferent toward each other. I listened to her story and prayed with her. As she walked away, I remember thinking that if her marriage could be restored then there is hope for anyone.
As I write this today, six months have passed since that first meeting with Sarah, and in that short time, I’ve seen a miracle take place. Steve and Sarah have experienced a transformation in their marriage, a recommitment to their faith in God and in each other, a renewed commitment to their marriage, and a miracle like I’ve never seen before. If I had not had the privilege of seeing the whole process unfold with my own eyes, I would not have believed it! Not only has their own marriage been transformed, now they are actively leading other couples towards the same healing process that they have experienced. Their story has inspired and reminded me that there’s hope for everyone!
This book is designed to give you the same tools they discovered in their journey of transformation and healing. We believe you are not reading this book by accident. We believe that God is real, He loves you, and He has extraordinary plans for your life and your marriage. Whether your marriage is rock-solid or you’re hanging on by a thread like Steve and Sarah, the timeless truths and modern methods outlined on these pages will take your marriage to a new level of health. You too can experience the same type of marriage miracle that they experienced.
To hear more of Steve and Sarah’s story, watch this free video bonus called The Keys to a Stronger Marriage
at: www.vimeo.com/71049632.
The 4 Laws of Love
Love is a powerful and beautiful gift from God. It is the foundation of every healthy relationship, but we tend to throw the word love
around pretty casually. Just in the last 24 hours, I’ve said, I love ice cream; I love my kid; I love my wife; I love that movie; I love that song; I love your shoes; I love that you are reading our book right now....
You get the point!
With all the love
floating around out there, I think it is easy to lose track of what love is really all about.
One of the most famous passages in the Bible, which you’ve probably heard read at weddings many times, is all about love. We believe this poetic portion of Scripture from 1 Corinthians 13 outlines some key laws of love
that will help us in our marriages, our friendships, our faith and every important relationship in life.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
1. Love is an action, not a feeling.
We talk about falling in love
and usually what we mean is, This person is really hot and has a great personality and I feel funny inside when I’m around them.
All those feelings can be a fun part of the process, but love isn’t defined by our feelings; it’s defined by our choices and commitments.
2. Love has no expiration date.
When we commit ourselves to someone, especially in the bond of marriage, our commitment must hold strong regardless of the changing circumstances of life. Even when we don’t have the strength to continue loving, God’s grace makes it possible. There is no real love without real commitment.
3. Love brings out the best in us.
Love doesn’t keep score or play games. That means we must place the needs of the ones we love above our own needs and do so even when they’re being unlovable.
God loves us even when we’re at our worst and then, calls us to love each other with the same type of unending commitment. When we’re giving genuine love, it will bring out the best in us and the best in those we love. Love guides our motives, words and actions in a more life-giving way.
4. Love heals when life hurts.
The kindness, compassion and protection of love have healing power even in life’s most devastating circumstances. True love rushes into the pain when everyone else is running away. When you love someone, be the one who heals their wounds, not the one who inflicts them. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.
Please keep these laws
in mind every time you hear or say those beautiful words, I love you!
21 Simple Ways to Improve Your Marriage
There are millions of ways to strengthen your marriage. In no particular order, here are twenty-one:
1. Have more SEX, but make sure you’re ONLY having it with each other!
2. Don’t keep secrets from each other. COMMUNICATE about everything.
3. Argue less. Cuddle more.
4. Don’t get deep in debt and if you’re already there, work together to get out of it!
5. Pray together, find a healthy church and make FAITH a foundation for your life together.
6. Turn off your phones. Talking with each other is better than texting with someone else!
7. Pull the car over and make out more often.
8. Leave LOVE NOTES for each other.
9. Send flowers on unexpected days, not just holidays.
10. Don’t ignore problems in your relationship. Deal with them quickly and