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    Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh
    Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh
    Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh
    Ebook92 pages1 hour

    Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh

    By John Winterson Richards

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    Welsh willfulness

    The Welsh are stubbornvery, very stubborn. The Welsh themselves would probably rather say tenacious,” but to anyone on the receiving end a better description might well be bloody-minded.”

     

    Proud and proud of it

    Welsh pride is real pridethe sort of mindless, instinctive, animal pride that requires no justification or excuse. It is simply pride for the sake of pride. Such pride is the only thing one has left when one has been stripped of everything else.

     

    It's not unusual to be . . . an actor

    Given the propensity of Welsh people of all types to overact at every given opportunity, it is not surprising that those who manage to tone it down a bit have gone on to world fame as actors (or politicians, who are, after all, only an inferior species of actors).

     

    Warriors at heart

    The Welsh are extremely proficient at rugby. They enjoy it and they take it seriously. This is because rugbywith its physical aggression, tactics, disciplined use of brute force, and organized violenceis the closest thing modern day life can offer to Wales' traditional national sport: war.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherOval Books
    Release dateJun 1, 2008
    ISBN9781908120939
    Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh

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      Book preview

      Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh - John Winterson Richards

      times.

      Nationalism & Identity

      Forewarned

      Some people like to boast that their nation is in some way superior to other nations. The Welsh are generally immune from that unpleasant habit.

      This absence of boasting has led some outsiders to assume that the Welsh have a national inferiority complex. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

      To Welshmen, the benefits of the wonderful gifts of Welshness are so obvious that there is no need to boast about them.

      To Welshmen, the benefits of the wonderful gifts of Welshness are so obvious that there is no need to boast about them. Like true aristocrats the world over, they take the advantages of their birth so much for granted that going around telling others how superior they are would be pointless, and rather bad form. After all, the Welshman’s world is made up of two types of people, and two types only: fellow Welshmen (who understand already) and the rest (whose opinions on the subject do not count).

      This degree of national pride might be surprising in a poor, conquered and exploited people, squatting on a small piece of harsh and intemperate land on the far edge of Europe – a land which is (greatest of insults) often mistaken for part of England.

      One might well ask what the Welsh have to feel proud about. A Welshman could point out, in response, that the Welsh enjoyed one of the oldest and richest cultures in the world when the English were still illiterate barbarians (which was, according to most Welsh historians, not very long ago); that Wales was the cradle of British Christianity when England was a pagan wilderness (also not very long ago), and that the Welsh enjoyed the reputation of being among the fiercest fighters in Europe when the English were already weakened by soft living (about this morning). But none of that really explains Welsh pride.

      Welsh pride is real pride – the sort of mindless, instinctive, animal pride that requires no justification or excuse.

      This is because Welsh pride is real pride – the sort of mindless, instinctive, animal pride that requires no justification or excuse. It is simply pride for the sake of pride. Such pride is the only thing one has left when one has been stripped of everything else.

      It is no doubt significant that this sort of pride is common to a number of impoverished and embattled hill peoples in different parts of the world – the Corsicans, the Afghans, and the Apache to name a few – and it is surely not coincidental that all of them have reputations for clannishness, deviousness, love of violence and vendetta.

      How they would like others to see them

      The Welsh simply could not care less what other people think of them. Among themselves, they not only think and believe that to be Welsh represents the highest form of human achievement – they know it.

      How they see others

      Of the home nations, the Irish and the Scots are tolerated as fellow Celts. In fact, there is considerable affection for the genial, talkative, emotional Irish, who have more in common with the Welsh and who settled in Wales in large numbers, mainly as a result of 19th-century industrialisation. There is also an historic link with south west Scotland which was once a Welsh Kingdom. The Scots national hero William Wallace came from this area – his surname meaning ‘Welshman’.

      The Welsh view the outside world in terms of (a) rugby or (b) blood relationship to themselves – there frequently being a link between the two.

      In so far as they pay any attention at all to the outside world, the Welsh view it in terms of either (a) rugby or (b) blood relationship to themselves – there frequently being a link between the two. Many Welsh people emigrated to the New World, especially to North America, Australia and New Zealand. Australians and New Zealanders are generally liked because of their understanding of the true value of sheep and their skill at rugby. The professionalism of the game means that many play in, or even for, Wales. When Wales were defeated by Ireland, the Welsh were duly upset that their New Zealanders beat our New Zealanders. In the context of rugby, the phrase Hard bunch of bastards is by no means derogatory.

      In the context of rugby, the phrase Hard bunch of bastards is by no means derogatory.

      Rugby apart, the Welsh seem only dimly aware of the existence of the rest of the planet. There is, however, a notable exception. If the English did not exist, the Welsh would have to invent them. To a very great extent, the Welsh define their national identity in terms of the English:

      The English are X, so we are not.

      The English like Y, so we do not.

      The English dislike Z, so we absolutely love him/her/it.

      Some people say that the Welsh have a love-hate relationship with the English but they are, in fact, 100% wrong. For a start, there is precious little love involved. Yet hate is also conspicuous by its absence which is surprising, given that the English conquered the country through treachery, killed its last native ruler in a particularly nasty manner, and, over a period of several hundred years, comprehensively looted its natural resources.

      The Welsh attitude to the English may be more accurately summed up as 10% resentment and 90% pity. The resentment is not personal – it is a standard Welsh reaction to anyone who is, for any reason, better off (a Welshman will never accept that anyone can succeed where he fails without having some dishonest advantage). The pity is also a standard Welsh reaction, in this case for anyone who has the incredible misfortune not to be Welsh.

      "The Welsh attitude to the English

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