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    Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, and Long-Gone
    Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, and Long-Gone
    Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, and Long-Gone
    Ebook43 pages22 minutes

    Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, and Long-Gone

    By T. J. Robertson

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    About this ebook

    Because love is blind, those who succumb to its charms often need advice--only not the weird and zany kind offered here.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherT. J. Robertson
    Release dateOct 27, 2011
    ISBN9781465959638
    Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, and Long-Gone
    Author

    T. J. Robertson

    Although I’ve made my living as a teacher and guidance counselor, I’ve always had a passion for writing. Thomas Bouregy and Company published my novel, Return to Paradise Cove, under their Avalon imprint. Two of my one-act plays, A Different Kind of Death, and The Flirt, have been produced, respectively, in New Haven, Connecticut, and Sacramento, California. Short stories of mine have appeared in commercial magazines such as Action and True Romance as well as in certain literary and professional ones.

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      Book preview

      Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, and Long-Gone - T. J. Robertson

      Preface

      I know that many of you who are about to sample the pages of this book want to know by what divine right I have taken it upon myself to offer advice to others. My answer to that question is simple. I come from a long line of carnival barkers, used-car salesmen, and glib politicians. Need I say more?

      So lean back, relax, and ponder the words of wisdom—as corny and punning as they may seem—in Advice to the Lovelorn, Far-gone, and Long-gone.

      Dear TJR,

      I'm married to an absent-minded professor and his absentmindedness is beginning to annoy me. Last week he parked his car in Boston while he went shopping and forgot where he left it. We're still looking for it, and, as if that weren't bad enough, yesterday he went to work without his pants. What can I do?

      Lucy Trousers

      Dear Lucy

      Make sure his underwear are clean.

      TJR

      * * *

      Dear TJR

      I'm in love with a certain young man whom I'd love to marry. But, unfortunately, he's a Democrat and I'm a Republican. Is there any way out of this dilemma?

      Paula Tick

      Dear Paula.

      If the two of you become independent and get together, you may be able to form a third party.

      TJR

      * * *

      Dear TJR

      My husband’s a rear admiral in the United States Navy. Since he’s going to retire next year, what kind of job do you think he should look for in the civilian sector?

      Mandy Lifeboats

      Dear Mandy

      That of a proctologist.

      TJR

      * * *

      Dear TJR

      My girlfriend insists on wearing miniskirts and I get extremely embarrassed when she sits down.

      Justin Bumstead

      Dear Justin

      It's just a passing fad. Whenever you see a miniskirt, rest assured the

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