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    Five Funny Fantasies
    Five Funny Fantasies
    Five Funny Fantasies
    Ebook58 pages46 minutes

    Five Funny Fantasies

    By Dayle A. Dermatis

    ()

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    About this ebook

    FIVE FUNNY FANTASIES is the first collection from prolific writer Dayle A. Dermatis. Prepare to be amused by these five humorous fantasy stories involving dragons and slayers, deals with the Devil, 80s hair metal, and much, much more!

    Includes the following stories:
    • If the Shoe Fits
    • Feline Design
    • Famous Last Words
    • Hell’s Belles
    • What Dragons Prefer

    DAYLE A. DERMATIS’s short fantasy has been called “funny (and rather ingenious),” “something new and something fresh,” and “really, really good!” Under various pseudonyms (and sometimes with coauthors), she’s sold several novels and more than 100 short stories in multiple genres. She lives and works in California within scent of the ocean, and in her spare time follows Styx around the country and travels the world, all of which inspires her writing. To find out where she is today, check out DayleDermatis dot com.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSoul's Road Press
    Release dateJan 31, 2012
    ISBN9781465721884
    Five Funny Fantasies
    Author

    Dayle A. Dermatis

    Dayle A. Dermatis is the author or coauthor of many novels (including snarky urban fantasies Ghosted and the forthcoming Shaded and Spectered) and more than a hundred short stories in multiple genres, appearing in such venues as Fiction River, Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, and DAW Books.Called the mastermind behind the Uncollected Anthology project, she also guest edits anthologies for Fiction River, and her own short fiction has been lauded in many year's best anthologies in erotica, mystery, and horror.She lives in a book- and cat-filled historic English-style cottage in the wild greenscapes of the Pacific Northwest. In her spare time she follows Styx around the country and travels the world, which inspires her writing.To find out where she’s wandered off to (and to get free fiction!), check out DayleDermatis.com and sign up for her newsletter or support her on Patreon.* * *I value honest feedback, and would love to hear your opinion in a review, if you’re so inclined, on your favorite book retailer’s site.* * *For more information:www.dayledermatis.com

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      Book preview

      Five Funny Fantasies - Dayle A. Dermatis

      FIVE FUNNY FANTASIES

      Dayle A. Dermatis

      Electronic edition published 2012 by Soul’s Road Press

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright © Dayle A. Dermatis. All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction, in whole or in part in any form, without written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embedded in critical articles and reviews.

      This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

      Inquiries should be addressed to

      Soul’s Road Press

      info@soulsroadpress.com

      http://www.soulsroadpress.com

      Cover image © Julien Tromeur / iStockPhoto

      Soul’s Road Press logo © Designs by Trapdoor

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      Table of Contents

      About the Author

      Copyright Information

      IF THE SHOE FITS

      WHEN I HEARD the royal family would be holding a ball to find suitable wife material for the prince and heir, my mind went into overdrive.

      But not in the way anyone would expect.

      I didn’t have specific information about how a royal household was run; I didn’t know the number and skill sets of the servants, or even how many people would be invited to this shindig. But within ten minutes I had a pretty good sense of how much it would cost per person, even factoring in peacock meat (which seemed like a waste to me, what with chickens being that much cheaper per pound, but I also understood the art of entertaining sometimes meant being flashy to impress certain guests).

      Not, mind you, that it was any of my business. Party planning wasn’t really where I wanted to end up, but I loved the idea of it. Just the way my brain works: a challenge, a puzzle. I can put together a fundraising dinner and auction for 50 people without breaking a sweat. The concept of overseeing a royal ball made me go squee (on the inside).

      Actually going to the ball? Meh. Marrying royalty didn’t interest me in the least, and besides, I had finals coming up.

      My aunt, Sheila, thought differently.

      It would be a good networking opportunity for you, she’d said.

      I’m not in the market for a husband, I’d said.

      She’d rapped my knuckles with her wooden spoon, not enough to hurt, but it got my attention. Don’t be an idiot, she said. "I’m talking about business networking. You’re about to graduate with honors. All those other girls giggling around the prince? Their daddies will be there, and their daddies run corporations that have job openings for the right candidates."

      Oh. Duh. I’d been so busy helping my sisters not lose their freaking minds over the ball that it hadn’t even occurred to me that this could be all about the schmoozing. Bad future entrepreneur, no BMW.

      There’s a reason why Aunt Sheila runs a thriving chain of bakeries.

      Around me, young women clumped together, giggling (just as Aunt Sheila had predicted) and craning their necks to get a glimpse of Rupert, Prince Royal and Most Eligible Bachelor. I, on the other hand, had handed out a fair number of business cards, and was feeling rather smug.

      Everybody says I work too hard. But I just cannot abide a disorganized house. After my mother died, my father...well, he was grieving, plus he had his own business to run, so the household fell to me. I was still young, but I wasn’t stupid. I could clip coupons and plan a week’s worth of simple, nutritious meals.

      When my dad remarried, bringing not only a new wife into the house but also two new stepsisters for me, I

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