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    Untitled: A Fairy Tale
    Untitled: A Fairy Tale
    Untitled: A Fairy Tale
    Ebook76 pages57 minutes

    Untitled: A Fairy Tale

    By MojoFiction

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    About this ebook

    Untitled: A Fairy Tale is the farcical tale of a spoiled princess and the adventures of the brave knight-to-be prince who would one day rescue her from her evil captors. Braving fearsome kitties, triple-threat dragons, and zombie groupies, our hero will have to work really hard if he wants to save the girl and preserve his dignity. Really hard.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMojoFiction
    Release dateFeb 27, 2013
    ISBN9781301055487
    Untitled: A Fairy Tale
    Author

    MojoFiction

    MojoFiction is really just a strange pen name (though there's method to it...) for a native from the state of Colorado. Unfortunately, I currently live in Illinois, which is hardly mountainous, which leads to a lot of travel to less geographically-challenged places. I am an avid lover of the outdoors, believe in the importance of family, sometime watch cartoons, and spare no expense in an effort to be funny (no matter how many times I might crash and burn). When I'm not writing or hiking or being lazy, I have a day job in the city of Chicago, though I call in sick to attend Cubs games as often as possible. Mostly because tickets are quite affordable when your team su- ... isn't as good as the other teams.

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      Book preview

      Untitled - MojoFiction

      UNTITLED:

      A Fairy Tale

      By MojoFiction

      This book is a work of fiction. No part of the contents relate to any real person or persons. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

      Copyright © 2013 MojoFiction

      Smashwords Edition

      All rights reserved

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment, and anyone else you feel like giving a copy away to. Enjoy!

      IT all started, as tales like this often do, with a simple chore and a simple girl who refused to do it.

      Unfortunately, it’s not about the girl who didn’t take the trash out, causing a continent-wide pollution crisis. According to the judge, that story is already copyrighted. Anyway, to the best of anyone’s knowledge she was never properly disciplined, which hardly makes for a good tale. No, our story revolves around a young princess.

      On the far side of The Realm, where real estate was much more affordable, lived the King and Queen and their eight-year-old daughter, Princess Amber. The day Amber was born was a blissful day for the Queen, because it meant, among other things, that she was no longer pregnant and could, therefore, perform important tasks such as sleep on her back and enjoy a glass of wine without perfect strangers staring at her in horror.

      Oh, lord, Harold look, those strangers would say. Her baby’s going to have fifteen toes.

      But everything went off without a hitch and Princess Amber entered the world a normal girl, to the delight of everyone involved. The King and Queen threw a huge party that lasted a week and everyone went home ripping drunk. Only then did reality set in, as the King and Queen realized Princess Amber would not leave the house until she turned eighteen, if they were lucky. Still, Amber was their little princess.

      Amber’s parents decided to treat their daughter as a normal little girl and not a spoiled princess. She had to earn her keep, which her parents had promised to help her make a down payment on when she came of age and married a prince. To the mind of an eight-year-old girl, this was merely a ploy to force her to complete her chores: sweep the kitchen, take out the trash, clean her room, build the new trebuchet for the east wall defense, etc. These chores were evened out by the fact that Amber had everything she could ever want. She had her own bedroom, fine clothes, many dolls, toys, books, you name it. Most would say she had a pretty good life. But all that changed the day she decided she didn’t want to do chores anymore.

      That was the day Princess Amber disappeared. Forever!

      Well, not forever. Not that we would have minded…

      PART ONE:

      PRINCESS AMBER - ADVENTURER, WARRIOR, BRAT

      IT’S just not fair! Princess Amber fumed.

      And it wasn’t.

      Not only did she have to clean her new, hand-crafted Princess Amber Bedroom, but she couldn’t go out and play until she was done. Worse yet, she knew that all the other kids in the entire kingdom were out having fun at that very moment, especially Prince Andrew next door, who she kinda liked but didn’t want anyone to know.

      Actually, it was that snotty little Princess Starcy’s fault that she had to clean. Six months ago Starcy’s family, the Winklesteins, had built their castle with the trendy new Central Tower design. So, of course, everyone else had to have one, too. Pretty soon castles with central towers were popping up all over the suburbs. And because King and Queen Winklestein gleefully reminded every house guest and passerby that their perfect little prissy angel kept her Princess Starcy Bedroom (with matching furniture) spotless, everyone else had to follow suit. The whole thing became an ugly contest with everyone constantly notifying anyone they could find how clean their child’s bedroom was.

      So, Sir Fred, they would say, how about the Broncos this year?

      Could there possible be a finer team in all the kingdom? Sir Fred would ask, knowingly.

      And their locker rooms are so clean. Almost as clean as our daughter’s room, which is sparkling. I’ve never seen anything so clean.

      I’m going to run you through now, Sir Fred would say, smiling.

      They would laugh.

      Sir Fred would not.

      The Duke and Duchess of About Five Blocks Down actually resorted to the clever tactic of making an announcement in the church bulletin. Informing the congregation that, although their daughter, Princess Someone or Other, didn’t have as clean a bedroom, she did have track lighting. And everyone wondered what the hell that was, since it was the middle ages.

      But Princess Amber’s parents did not take part in the shenanigans, electing instead to

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