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Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

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Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

4.5/5 (9 peringkat)
269 pages
27 hours
Jan 7, 2013


Most marriage books assume the author did it right. Most marriage books barely mention friendship. Most marriage books use “intimacy” as code for “sex.” This is not one of those books.

In Real Marriage, Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, share how they have struggled and how they have found healing through the power of the only reliable source: the Bible. They believe friendship is fundamental to marriage but not easy to maintain. So they offer practical advice on how to make your spouse your best friend – and keep it that way. And they know from experience that sex-related issues need to be addressed directly.

Five chapters are dedicated to answering questions like:

  • Should I confess my pre-marital sexual sin to my spouse?
  • Is it okay to have a “work spouse”?
  • What does the Bible say about masturbation and oral sex?

Stunningly honest and vulnerable, Real Marriage is like a personal counseling session with a couple you cannot surprise, you cannot shock into silence, who will respond to every question with wisdom, humility, and realism.

If you want to have a long-lasting, fulfilling marriage you should read this book. Wrestle with this book. Pray over this book. Share this book. And discover how God can use it to change your life.


“If you’re married or plan to be someday, do yourself a favor and read every page of this book.” —DRS. LES & LESLIE PARROTT Founders of RealRelationships.com and authors of Love Talk

“Whether engaged, newlywed, or veteran, Real Marriage will serve as an invaluable resource. I highly recommend this book.” —ANDY STANLEY author of The Grace of God and Senior Pastor, North Point Community Church

"One of my greatest concerns is that culture is going to continually define and redefine what marriage is and is not, and the church is going to simply sit on the sidelines and react rather than seeking to actually become proactive by confidently teaching what the Bible has to say about it.  That is why I am so thankful that Mark and Grace Driscoll wrote this book.  Their approach to marriage, its benefits and challenges are transparent and challenging and I honestly believe that every married couple who will work through what they lead us through in this book will not just merely have a marriage that survives in this world but rather thrives in it." — PERRY NOBLE Senior Pastor, NewSpring Church

"Our thanks to Mark and Grace Driscoll who have served this generation well by tastefully but boldly addressing the real issues facing real marriages. Taking the unchanging truth of God’s word and sprinkling in is the story of God’s mercy in their own marriage they have filled every chapter with real helpfulness. This book is powerful, biblical, practical and healing for marriages that hurt. My wife and our adult children read it to great profit." — DR. JAMES MACDONALD Senior Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel and Bible teacher for Walk in the Word

Jan 7, 2013

Tentang penulis

Mark Driscoll is one of the 50 most influential pastors in America, and the founder of Mars Hill Church in Seattle (www.marshillchurch.org), the Paradox Theater, and the Acts 29 Network which has planted scores of churches. Mark is the author of The Radical Reformission: Reaching Out Without Selling Out. He speaks extensively around the country, has lectured at a number of seminaries, and has had wide media exposure ranging from NPR’s All Things Considered to the 700 Club, and from Leadership Journal to Mother Jones magazine. He’s a staff religion writer for the Seattle Times. Along with his wife and children, Mark lives in Seattle.

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  • If our hearts are working toward respect, our mouths will follow because “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”a If our hearts abound with disrespect, our mouths will spew disrespectful words.

  • The determining factor in whether wives feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is, by 70 percent, the quality of the couple’s friendship.

  • They have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the big ways but in little ways day in and day out. . . .

  • There is a balance between being submissive and participating in the marriage as an equal bearer of God’s image. Finding that balance requires humility and wisdom.

  • Any couple who hope to exit this life together still holding hands must be friends who have fun along the way and laugh a lot.

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  • (5/5)
    I’m not married still hoping to be feel like this book is a great start for marriage male and female questions given and biblical answers that I referenced while I read the healing chapter I really enjoyed will recommend it to anyone who is considering marrying
  • (4/5)
    The Driscolls' book does not include much that I have not read before, but it does have lots of good stuff to say and does so in a brisk, easy-to-read manner. The main thing that differentiates this book from other Christian marriage books is that the authors do a good job of openly discussing topics that other books shy away from. Part of that is Grace Driscoll's life story including sexual abuse. For many women (and men) this is an important dynamic that Christian marriage books are less willing to confront. I recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their marriage or tackle issues in their marriage.
  • (4/5)

    1 person found this helpful

    Genesis 2:22-24 (CEB) With the rib taken from the human, the LORD God fashioned a woman and brought her to the human being. The human said,“ This one finally is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. She will be called a woman because from a man she was taken. ” This is the reason that a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife, and they become one flesh.Pastor Mark Driscoll is the founding pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington and is one of the world’s most-downloaded and quoted pastors. He was also named one of the “25 Most Influential Pastors of the Past 25 Years” by Preaching magazine, and his sermons are consistently #1 on iTunes each week.I was given his book, “Real Marriage” by his publisher for a fair and honest review and to be perfectly “honest”… I originally thought I was going to hate it. As a Pastor myself, I don’t always agree with Mark’s doctrine – especially when it comes to women. I feel Mark’s belief’s about women don’t truly reflect what the bible teaches thematically and so I felt that his book on marriage would carry that same message.But I didn’t hate the book.Mark and his wife, Grace are writing a book about how the marriage partnership works. And all through the book, Mark emphasis that both the husband and the wife are equal partners, but with different roles, “like the left and right hand,” Mark states. “Although one is dominant.” I liked that example and it helps explain the relationship.Mark and Grace take turns writing chapters and explaining topics and their voices are certainly easy to listen to. I think the material covered was great, the quotes and study that make this book a good read are well researched and there is a lot in this book for a couple with questions, or even as a reference book for marriage counseling.The only issue I have is with the underlying message of the book. Mark and Grace also share about their own marriage and often tell their own stories. Grace’s story comes across as being “the sinner” of the relationship. She “cheated on him” before they were married, she was sexually hesitant during their marriage and she had a history of abuse…But Mark’s story is squeaky clean. There is a great chapter on porn addiction, but Mark says it was never an issue for him. And while the book never deemphasizes the husband or the wife, it certainly makes a strong argument for the wife being a sexual servant. The book strongly emphasis the role of the wife as being the one who “strips” for her husband, or who wears revealing clothing to get him in the mood. In fact the one time where I thought Mark might actually confess sin for being distant and moody with his wife, it turns out it was actually her fault for withholding.I think the book Real Marriage is a summary of Mark’s hours of marriage counseling, his sermon series on Song of Solomon and his various talks and tours. Content wise, I think there is valuable information here. But as far as the testimony, I would have appreciated a more transparent voice from Mark or a less transparent voice from his wife.If the book tries to make a case for equality, it doesn’t support it through the author’s own marriage.

    1 person found this helpful