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    Cubicles: A Post-Apocalyptic Office Comedy
    Cubicles: A Post-Apocalyptic Office Comedy
    Cubicles: A Post-Apocalyptic Office Comedy
    Ebook120 pages48 minutes

    Cubicles: A Post-Apocalyptic Office Comedy

    By Alexander Danner

    ()

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    About this ebook

    With the doors locked, the windows welded shut, and MetaNet.com's water cooler empty for days, poor Roger has done the unthinkable—he drank the tap water. Now the Department of New Media is short-handed and behind schedule, plus there’s a dead body cluttering the hallway. But Roger will be remembered fondly—especially by the lucky employee who manages to swipe his ergonomic keyboard.

    The surviving employees plot for survival and escape, under the close inspection of Dirk, the new Vice President of IT, who is perfectly willing to assign discipline. In fact, he’s looking forward to it. Meanwhile, in the obfuscatory words of President and CEO, Chaz, “MetaNet.com’s complex financial climate is experiencing a front of not-uncataclysmically inclement weather.” MetaNet.com is dying. The only question is: how many of its employees will die with it?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAlexander Danner
    Release dateMar 18, 2014
    ISBN9781311428585
    Cubicles: A Post-Apocalyptic Office Comedy
    Author

    Alexander Danner

    Alexander Danner is a writing of plays, fiction, and graphic novels, as well as two textbooks about graphic novels: Comics: A Global History, 1968 -- Present (Thames & Hudson, 2014) and Character Design for Graphic Novels (Rotovision/Focal Press, 2007). He teaches online courses in writing comics and graphic novels at Emerson College.

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      Book preview

      Cubicles - Alexander Danner

      Cubicles

      a post-apocalyptic office comedy

      by Alexander C. P. Danner

      Copyright 2003 – 2014, Alexander Danner.

      Published by Alexander Danner at Smashwords

      Smashwords Edition License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Table of Contents

      Production History

      Setting

      Characters

      Scene 1

      Scene 2

      Scene 3

      Scene 4

      Scene 5

      Scene 6

      About the Author

      Production History

      Cubicles was selected Runner Up in the Rod Parker Playwriting competition, and was subsequently staged as part of Emerson College's New Works Festival in April of 2003. The production was directed by Curt Miller and featured the following cast:

      Gregory Crafts as Bill

      Sabrina Jacob as Evie

      Christopher Reed as Lester

      Elana Lury as Peyton

      Ryan Farley as Chaz/The Poland Spring Guy

      Christopher Larkin as Dirk

      Cubicles also received a public staged reading at the City Attic Theatre in New York, NY in 2006.

      Setting

      MetaNet.com, a small dot-com office. Four cubicles are arranged in pairs, one pair belonging to Bill and Evie, the other to Peyton and Roger. The paired cubicles face each other, separated by a wall just high enough to keep the inhabitants from seeing each other while seated. Each cubicle contains a desk and a chair, with a computer on each desk.

      Elsewhere is a conference room, including a large table, six chairs, and a dry erase board with markers. There is also a water cooler, which does not contain any water. Some empty Polish Spring bottles surround it.

      An Applause sign should be placed somewhere on stage.

      Characters

      ROGER

      Dead Editor.

      BILL

      Subversive Editor.

      PEYTON

      Angry Editor.

      EVIE

      Sensitive Editor.

      LESTER

      Managing Editor.

      CHAZ

      President and CEO of MetaNet.com. Dressed in a golden suit.

      DIRK

      Senior Vice-President, IT. Voice only, projected via corporate intercom.

      THE POLISH SPRING GUY

      Dressed in a pristine and pressed Polish Spring uniform, including polo shirt and cap. He is dashing, confident, and robust.

      NOTE: The Polish Spring Guy may be played by the same actor as Chaz.

      Scene 1

      ROGER lies face down on the ground. BILL is sitting in a chair from the conference room, looking at Roger. He is holding a bag of peanuts, and occasionally pops a nut in his mouth. Enter PEYTON. PEYTON approaches Bill, but her eyes are on the dead man.

      PEYTON

      That Roger?

      BILL

      Yup.

      PEYTON

      What happened?

      BILL

      Died.

      PEYTON

      No shit. I can see that.

      BILL

      He drank the water.

      PEYTON

      The tap water?

      BILL

      Yup.

      PEYTON

      He… What the fuck was he thinking? The Polish Springs guy comes on Wednesday. Wednesday! It’s only two days…

      BILL

      I guess he couldn’t wait. Or didn’t want to.

      Silence.

      PEYTON

      They replace him yet?

      BILL

      Nah. They’ll probably bring in a temp.

      PEYTON

      Oh, they’d better not get a fucking temp.

      BILL

      Doesn’t matter.

      PEYTON

      Doesn’t matter? Half of them can’t even work a computer.

      BILL

      So?

      PEYTON

      So, I’m not training him. It’s quicker to do the work yourself than to waste time teaching those idiots to find their own asses.

      BILL

      Okay. I’ll train him.

      PEYTON

      Oh, like Hell, I’m gonna let you train him. You’ll just have him staring at a wall all day.

      BILL

      True.

      PEYTON

      I’m not going to watch some ignorant jackass get paid to do nothing while I actually work.

      BILL

      Okay. So you train him.

      PEYTON

      I will, dammit. I’ll have the little shit working that computer till his knuckles bleed. Show him what it’s like to have a real job.

      BILL

      I’m sure he’ll appreciate

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