The ABC of Child Care

The ABC

of

Child Care

By

Ronald J Parker

The ABC of Child Care

© Ronald J Parker 2014

Smashwords Edition

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Introduction

The author of this book has spent over thirty years working with children of all ages in a variety of settings including boarding schools and children’s homes.

He does not hold a degree in psychology or have letters after his name. He gained all his paper qualifications while he was doing the job. For those who think paper qualifications are required, the author does hold a certificate of qualification in social work but does not draw on this for the purposes of this book.

The qualification he does have to write this book is experience. He has worked with difficult, maladjusted, those with learning difficulties, as well as so called ‘normal’ children.

In this book, he attempts to pass on that experience to parents in a clear and straightforward manner without the jargon of psychology.

Not everyone will agree with his opinions and methods. There is much disagreement even between childcare experts, but where an issue is controversial the author has tried to give an unbiased view of each opinion. It is then up to you, the parent, as to which method to use.

Every child is different, even identical twins, so what works for one child may not work for another. You may sometimes find it necessary to use different methods for each child.

This book does not have all the answers. No book ever yet written on childcare does. However, the author hopes you will find some guidance in these pages.

How you manage your child is ultimately yours and your partner’s decision, as long as it complies with the law in your country, and if the ideas in this publication do not work for your child, then don’t be afraid to try something different. The main thing is to find what works, but also remember that what works in the short term may not work in the long run and ultimately may not be the best method.

The book is in an alphabetical format to make it easy to look up a particular problem, but you can either use it as a reference book in this way, or read it cover to cover. It’s your choice.

In order to avoid the cumbersome ‘his or her’ throughout the book, the gender has been used randomly in each section, except in cases where obviously only one gender would be appropriate. Also, the term parent refers to either mother or father or, indeed, to anyone who has the responsibility of a child, whether it is their own or not.

The book sometimes refers to legislation. This is primary that of the UK and specifically England. Laws are frequently changed and vary from one country to another. You should always check up to date information for your own country before acting on any information in this book. It is there just to give you a starting point.

This is not a medical book, but because children do become ill and have accidents, medical information is sometimes given. This is general guidance, and you should not see it as an alternative to getting professional medical help. The author has no medical qualifications.

Acknowledgements

Many people have contributed to the compilation of this book, far too many to list here, but they know who they are, and the author wishes to give grateful thanks to you all.

Two names, however, need mentioning. Sue Palmer for generously allowing me to quote from her books ‘Toxic Childhood’ and ‘Detoxing Childhood’. Thank you, Sue.

The second person is Victor Jackson, my ex-boss and mentor during many years of working in the childcare field. Thanks, Vic, for passing on your vast experience.

A

Abdominal Pains

Most children, especially those of primary school age, often get tummy aches and usually this is nothing serious, but they should not be ignored because, sometimes it could be a symptom of some more serious underlying condition, such as appendicitis.

There are many causes of stomach-ache but the most common is constipation, which might be obvious or not. The best cure for constipation is prevention. The two main causes of constipation are not having enough fibre, and not taking the time to have bowel movements - ‘holding it’ for too long.

Palpate your child's abdomen gently. If your child won't let you do this because of the pain, he might have appendicitis or gastroenteritis. If the stomach-ache lasts more than 3 hours, call your doctor.

When your child complains of stomach-ache, take note to see if there is a pattern. It is quite common for children to have psychological abdominal pain. If your child has a history of stomach-aches, but is otherwise healthy, he might be stressed about something. It could be peer pressure, changing schools or parents arguing.

You should call your doctor if :

The pain comes and goes for more than a day or so.

There is pain when passing urine.

There is a cough or sore throat, as well as the stomach-ache.

Diarrhoea continues for more than seven days.

You should get immediate emergency assistance if :

The pain gets worse within a few hours.

The child (of walking age) is unable to walk or stand upright.

There are bloody or black bowel movements.

The child vomits bile (yellow-green fluid).

The pain follows an injury.

The child has swallowed a foreign object.

The abdomen is very tender or sore, especially on the right-hand side.

There has been recent surgery in the area of pain.

Accidents

No matter how careful you are, your child and you, will be extremely lucky if she never has an accident. All children, no matter what their age, are going to have an accident of some kind from time to time, hopefully none of them too serious.

When an accident does occur, the most important thing is not to panic. It won’t help you, and it won’t help the child, because if she sees you panicking she will panic too. Naturally, you are going to be concerned about your child’s safety, but it is essential to remain calm when you are in the child’s presence.

Accidents can be traumatic for the parents and the child, especially if the accident wasn’t the child’s fault.

Any injury can be a frightening experience for a child as they have a lower pain threshold than adults. In some cases, the effect on the child can last a long time and may be displayed in many different ways.

Children will have accidents in many ways. Young children, especially, will try to climb and could fall or pull objects over on top of themselves.

But it is possible to prevent some accidents.

Children are not, and should not be expected to be as careful as adults, so any dangers in the home are magnified, and things that are not dangerous to an adult could be to a child.

If they are able to get into harmful products, children could be poisoned. Even small amounts of some chemicals can cause health problems if the child touches them or breathes them in.

Accidents can happen anywhere, anytime, but the child’s own home is one of the most likely places, especially when she is small. The bathroom is where the child is particularly vulnerable. You can do some things to improve the safety of the bathroom:

Fit anti-slipvinylshapes to the floor of the bathtub to prevent the child from slipping when getting in or out of the bath. The floor outside the bath can be slippery too, so make sure there is a rug or bathmat for your child’s wet feet.

Lock all cabinets and cupboards Makeup, cleaners, even bubble bath, can be dangerous to children. Keep medicine cabinets locked even if you think the child can’t reach it. Don't take it for granted that because your child has shown no interest in the contents of the cabinets that she never will. Her natural curiosity will probably cause her to take an interest at some stage. Remember to lock the cabinets again every time you open them. Even toothpaste with fluoride can be harmful to a child, so keep it locked away and out of sight.

Keep the toilet door closed. Small children are fascinated with water. They are also top-heavy and can easily fall over into the toilet.

Children like turning on the taps at the sink. Fit tap protectors to stop them from doing so, especially on the hot tap. If you can't find a type for your particular tap at a hardware store, contact the manufacturer. They should be able to recommend a type that will work.

And most important of allnever leave a small child unattended in the bath. If the phone rings, let the answer-machine deal with it, or ignore it. If the call is urgent, they will ring back. If you must answer the door, wrap the child up in a towel and take her with you. It can take only seconds for a child to drown.

Toddlers are different to babies because they are not protected by cribs, playpens and people all of the time. They are also different from older children because they are less likely to understand and follow directions, yet even the ones who haven’t quite learned to walk can be quite mobile. 

To make a home safe for a toddler, get down on your own hands and knees and crawl around like she does. See what is interesting!

Electric sockets should have covers or plugs fitted in them.

Try to pull over every item of furniture and plant stand to see how easy it is. Replace or secure the easy ones.

Don't use mechanical furniture such as recliners until the child is old enough to know not to crawl under them.

Feel underneath furniture for sharp objects...staples, splinters, etc.

See what things (vases, glasses, books, pots) can be pulled off the furniture.

Install safety gatesat entrances to the kitchen, stairways, etc. (toddlers should never be in these areas unless they are being carried).

Keep all doors closed when there is no one in the room, so toddlers can't wander into bathrooms, bedrooms, etc.

Keep pet food and water dishes in a room where the toddler won't be able to get to by herself.

Don't use a gas fire, etc. without a fireguard.

Put blockades up anywhere the toddler can crawl behind furniture.

Don't use table covers that the child could pull off, along with everything on the table. You need to protect the child, not the furniture.

Make sure nothing given to the child has parts (wheels, buttons, etc.) that are small enough for her to pull off and put in her mouth. If it can fit into her mouth, she can choke on it.

Make sure there is nothing in areas where she plays that she could wrap round her neck (chords, strings, etc.).

Make sure there is nothing that is air tight around that she can put her head in or cover her mouth with. (Plastic bags, wrapping paper, balloons, etc.).

The previous sections are particularly relevant for very young children, but older kids also need protecting as much as possible. While you won’t be able to stop every accident, there are things you can do to reduce the risk:

Teach your child from an early age about the dangers of chemicals, soaps, stoves, ovens, blenders, dishwashers, water heater, cars, washers/dryers, toilets/sinks, lawnmowers, fireplaces, etc. 

Do not allow your child into the kitchen unsupervised until she is old enough to understand the dangers. When this will be depends on the individual child. You know the child best, but eight would be about right for most kids.

Store all chemicals, soaps, knives, appliances, alcohol, vinegar, and all breakable items in upper units, out of reach.

Fit locks on any appliance that small children can climb into (water heater closet, fridge, washer, dryer, electrical panel area, etc.). Also, fit locks to any room containing dangerous equipment.

Make sure that everything on counters, shelves and workbenches (including appliance cords) are out of reach of small children.

Make sure all shelves are secure so they won't tip over.

Make sure the child can get at her toys without having to climb or go into areas that could be dangerous.

If you have the space, avoid using bunk beds.

Make sure windows can't be climbed into or out of. (other than in an emergency)

Have a fire evacuation plan with a meeting place assigned at least 50 feet from the house, teach the plan and rehearse it with your smoke detectors at least once a month. This also reminds you to test your smoke detectors.

Test all toys, tricycles and swing sets intended for smaller kids, to see if it's possible for them to break a finger, get strangled or sustain other damage from the design, and remember that the nuts and bolts will need tightening periodically.

If, despite all your precautions, your child sustains an injury:

Keep calm and try to keep the child calm.

Keep a first-aid kit handy and well stocked with items you are likely to need. Remember some children are allergic to certain kinds of plaster.

If the injury is anything other than minor, get help. If at all in doubt, take the child to casualty.

If you are the only adult and there are other children in the house, try to get a neighbour to look after them while you deal with the injured child.

The previous sections were concerned with accidents in the home, but there will be times when accidents happen elsewhere. You will sometimes have to leave your child in the care of another, such as a nursery, childminder or a school. When your child is left under the control and supervision of someone else, that person or organisation owes a duty of care to your child.

Negligence may not be intentional, but in places like a hectic, busy, pre-school nursery or creche, it only takes a moment of distraction and a second or two of not supervising a child for an accident to happen.

Older children can be injured at play or in a road traffic accident. There is little you can do about this other than teaching the child about the dangers, especially of traffic. The occasional bruise from a fall isn’t likely to do the child any lasting harm, but road accidents can be more serious or even fatal. Teach your child all about road safety well before you allow her out on her own.

Whatever precautions you take, you do have to accept that accidents are going to happen. You just have to hope that all accidents to your child will be minor and that she will benefit from the learning experience.

Aches and pains

All children will complain of aches and pains now and again. Usually, these are not serious and will probably heal themselves after a period of rest.

Your child’s aches shouldn’t be ignored, or dismissed as growing pains, because there are times when the pain might be a symptom of something more severe. If the child’s pain is persistent and in the same place, or if he also has a fever, you need to take him to the doctor.

If there is a particular point that hurts in a place you can push on which increases the pain, it might indicate an injury or an overuse problem.

If the child refuses to eat, play, or engage in normal fun activities, it becomes serious enough to get medical advice.

The pain might be psychological, but this doesn’t make it less real and if you suspect this, talk to the child to try to find out the underlying cause. This could be anything from bullying to stress caused by friction in the home, usually between parents.

Never give children under 12 aspirin as a pain reliever without first consulting your doctor.

Achievements

Throughout life, we all achieve a goal from time to time, and it starts in early childhood, with a child learning to take her first steps unaided and later to tie her own shoelaces.

Recognise your child’s achievements no matter whether they are routine skills like these or, with older children, doing something well at school, gaining a merit badge at Cubs or Brownies, or passing a school exam.

We all like to be praised, and recognizing a child's achievements reinforces a positive attitude.

While it is fair to reward your child for doing something well, this doesn’t have to cost anything, simple praise is often all it needs.

Don’t overdo the rewards. You should not reward a child for doing something she should be doing anyway.

If the child gets something wrong, you wouldn’t be a good parent if you didn’t show them the correct way, but even then try to be positive.

Good job, is much better than You’re doing it wrong again!. Rather than say ‘don’t do it like that’ say ‘it will be better if you do it like this’ and SHOW not TELL the child how. This is not only better for the self-confidence of the child, but it will get the desired result quicker.

With older children, star charts you can use star charts to recognise her achievements. Use different coloured stars, available from stationary shops, to represent different levels of skill achieved. When the child is old enough, let her decide herself what colour she has earned.

Acne

Acne causes spots on the skin and especially effects teenagers, though all age groups can suffer from it. Normally it affects the skin of the face, back, neck, chest and arms.

It is rarely serious, and it will usually heal itself without any treatment in time, but it can be embarrassing to a teenager at a stage in their life when they may be feeling insecure anyway.

Acne is common and affects around 80 percent of all teenagers, especially between the ages of 13 and 17. Rarely, it can also develop in quite young children.

Acne will usually lead to greasy skin, blackheads or whiteheads and can any one or more of those conditions. In more severe cases, it can also cause scars.

Acne can be hereditary and, contrary to popular belief, isn't caused by diet or hygiene. Not even, as commonly supposed by eating chocolate – something most youngsters will be pleased to know. (Although avoidance of junk food with high fat and sugar content is still a good idea).

Acne isn't infectious, so your kids can neither catch it, nor pass it on to others.

Acne can’t be cured, but there are treatment options to control the symptoms, which your GP can prescribe, if the condition is severe.

The sufferers can do some things themselves:

It's important to keep areas prone to spots clean, so wash the affected areas twice a day. The skin needs some oil to preserve its natural condition, so use a mild soap and don’t scrub your skin too hard when washing.

You can buy over-the-counter medicines from pharmacies to treat mild acne.

Home treatments won't work immediately. It can take weeks, sometimes months, for any effect to be noticeable. If home treatments still don’t work after two months, or if you have severe acne, a visit to your GP is recommended.

Activities

There is truth in the saying that the devil finds work for idle hands. Children of all ages need activities, not just to keep them busy, but also for their general health. Ideally, your child should have at least 60 minutes of physical activity every day, but older children usually have heavy demands on their time, so getting a full hour of daily exercise can become a challenge. Some youngsters may be far more interested in sedentary pursuits like watching TV and computer time. Even though there is a place for this, and kids certainly need to be familiar with computers in the modern age, this kind of activity needs rationing to some extent. Even a lot of studying and reading, while valuable in itself, can result in too little physical activity.

Some children will become involved in taking part in a sport of some kind, and this is great for their physical fitness, though some will soon lose interest. When this happens, they should be encouraged to find suitable substitutes to get the exercise they need.

Being active will strengthen muscles and bones. It will also help to control weight and reduce the risk of obesity-related illnesses. So try to motivate your child to be active, especially if she isn’t a natural athlete.

A child can only mentally handle so much activity, so you should bear this in mind in your expectations. Younger children might not be ready be for the pressure of competition, so for structured sports, look for teams and classes that stress the basics and provide praise and encouragement for kids as they improve their skills. Group activities and team sports can teach your child about teamwork and good sportsmanship.

Not every child will be into team sports, but there are other activities available to keep them fit, such as roller blading, bike riding, tennis, or swimming. The key is to find activities that the child enjoys, and not what you want yourself for them.

If your child can find an activity that is fun, she'll do it a lot, get better at it, feel she has accomplished something, and will want to do it even more. But if you push her into activities she doesn’t like, she won’t want to participate and will end up feeling frustrated.

Whether it's football or dancing, if a child doesn't enjoy an activity after trying it, it is time to change activities. No matter whether the child succeeds in or gives up on an activity, the experience is good for her. It is just as crucial to help the child discover what she doesn’t like as it is to help her realise what she does like. 

ADD see ADHD

Adenoids

Adenoids are part of the body’s immune system. They hang from the back of the nasal cavity. They usually stop growing between the ages of three and seven.

You cannot see the adenoids. The doctor can look at them if necessary by using a mirror or a small flexible telescope. Sometimes, the child will need a x-ray to determine the size of the adenoids.

Like tonsils, adenoids protect the body from infection by trapping bacteria and viruses that are breathed in through the nose.

Although both tonsils and adenoids help to prevent infection, they are not considered necessary. The body has other ways to fight off infections. Adenoids, like tonsils, can usually be removed without the risk of disease being increased.

Adenoids tend to shrink after early childhood, and often almost disappear by the time a child reaches his teens.

Swollen or enlarged adenoids are quite common in children. Causes of this include:

Bacterial or viral infections. Once the infection clears, the swelling usually goes down but sometimes the adenoids remain enlarged.

Allergies.

Sometimes there is no obvious reason.

Swollen adenoids might not produce any symptoms or problems at all, but if the adenoids become unusually large, symptoms can sometimes develop. Possible symptoms are:

Breathing through the nose could be noisy. This might get worse and could cause difficulty in breathing through the nose. The child then mostly breathes through the mouth.

A constant runny nose.

Snoring. In a severe case, a blocked nose could disrupt sleep and the child can have problems with breathing.

In most cases, there is no need for any medical treatment. Usually, the symptoms are mild but could flare up during a cold or throat infection.

If the child’s symptoms are severe, a doctor might consider removing the adenoids.

At one time, operations to remove tonsils and adenoids were quite common. It is rare nowadays, as doctors don't think that doing so is as beneficial as they used to. As with all operations, there is also a risk involved with surgery. Therefore, it is a good idea to talk to the surgeon about the benefits versus the risks before your child has the operation.

ADHD (Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder)

ADHD or ADD is a behaviour disorder that affects the child's everyday performance and conduct. The brain processes information and external stimulus differently than it does people without the condition. It can be accompanied by other learning disorders, such as dyslexia. The child may feel frustrated and is likely to underachieve, so he needs you to build up his self-confidence.

ADHD is the usual term, though it is sometimes called Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD]). ADHD is sometimes referred to as hyperkinetic disorder.

Children with ADHD act on impulse, doing something first and thinking later. They are constantly, running, climbing, squirming, and fidgeting, but have trouble with fine motor skills and because of this, may be physically clumsy and awkward.

ADHD is a common behavioural disorder and is more common in boys than girls.

Symptoms can include having a short attention span, poor organisation skills, excessive talking, disruptive and aggressive behaviour, irritability and restlessness.

It is quite normal for all children, especially under-fives, to be inattentive and restless whether or not they have ADHD, so identification of the condition needs to be carried out by a professional person. If you are concerned about your child, visit your GP.

Although the symptoms of ADHD might be apparent in early childhood, they won't usually become a problem until the child is seven or older when his behaviour conflicts with a formal school environment and any academic problems caused by his symptoms become more noticeable.

The disorder is now recognised as the cause of problems some children have with their schoolwork and in their relationships with friends and family. These children often have sleep problems and are impulsive and overactive making them difficult to live with and teach. Methods of treatment usually involve a combination of medication, behaviour modification, lifestyle changes, and counselling.

Medication on its own won’t help the child to be successful, but with other treatments, can help. There are a number of different ADHD medications, and these can have different effects in different people, so if the first medication you try doesn’t work, talk to your doctor about adjusting the dose or changing the medication to find the one that is best for the child. Children afflicted with the disorder often 'muck about' and behave in a way that is 'a bit silly.' Children with inattentive type ADHD often forget to complete or lose homework, procrastinate, are careless in doing any work or chores, have difficulty planning any long-term projects or studying for tests, and have problems keeping things organized. They have an unusually short attention span and are distracted easily (attention deficit). They are also overactive and restless (hyperactive). Not every child with the condition needs medication.

The child’s level of ability does not affect whether he can have ADHD.

Medication can produce temporary improvement after each dose. This is short-lived and not a permanent solution, but it does create a brief period when the child can learn and practice new skills.

Medication can also help to control some of the behaviour problems that may have led to family turmoil. Children sometimes say their medication makes them feel more able to control themselves and to get on with people.

Unfortunately, there are other aspects of the problem that medication can't cure.

Often, parents are blamed for the child’s bad behaviour and the child himself is labelled ‘difficult’ or ‘out of control’, but ADHD is a recognised condition and not just an excuse for poor parenting, nor can the child help his actions.

Adolescence

Adolescence is the awkward period between childhood and adulthood - difficult for both the child and the parents. At this time, your child starts to develop adult physical characteristics and, as well as the physical changes, you may notice he has frequent mood swings, one minute acting as if everything is perfect and the next becoming angry.

At this stage of his development, your teen will be searching for answers to many questions as he tries to establish his own identity and independence. He may have difficulty expressing himself at this time.

It can be helpful for him to adjust by being with others going through the same adjustment period. Encourage him to join groups such as school clubs or sporting teams. He will learn and grow with others who, like him, are preparing for adult life.

While a peer group can produce good results, it can also bring undesirable ones, depending on the particular personalities of the members of the group so be careful to note if your teen is influenced by peer pressure. Somebody in a peer group can sometimes encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking or drug taking. When someone gives in to peer pressure, they are searching for their own identity. If they already have a secure identity, they will approach this group with a good attitude and know what is acceptable or not. They should be able to say no to unwelcome ideas without becoming angry or embarrassed.

At this time in his life, the teen will probably start to establish his own values. Beliefs and standards that he believes are important. He will learn that conscience plays a part in his actions. He will want and need to know the reasons for rules you set. Before this, he probably did not question your rules and just followed them.

He will start setting goals for the future. He might change these goals before he reaches adulthood, but it is still good for him to have them.

He will also reach some level of emotional maturity during this period of his life. Maturity is the state of being full-grown, and he might think at times that he has already reached that stage. Some teens can make quite wise decisions about their lives during adolescence, but others are not yet ready to do this.

It is up to you as a parent, to be there to guide and advise your teen during these difficult years.

Teenagers still need rules but begrudge them. They want to be themselves, but haven’t yet learned who that self is.

Teens and their parents often complain about each other's behaviour, and this isn’t always the teens fault. Parents quite often have double standards, accepting untidiness in their own room or desk, while nagging a teen to keep to an unrealistic level of neatness. When you have to correct your teens, (and there will be times when you do) try to adhere to the same standards you live by yourself.

Teenagers need a nutritious diet as during this time there will be rapid growth and, especially in boys, substantial gains in bones and muscle, which all affect dietary needs.

Adoption

Adopting a child means you become its legal guardian and all rights and responsibilities become yours. All legal rights of the child’s birth family end. Usually, the child will take your surname, but not always.

Adoption is not the same as fostering which is a temporary arrangement and legal rights remain with the child’s own parents, or sometimes with their local authority.

Adoptions need to be arranged by approved adoption agencies. These are usually local authorities but can sometimes be a voluntary organisation. Adoption agencies choose people to adopt children. They have to make sure people who want to adopt meet certain legal requirements, as well as their own policies.

If you want to adopt a child, in most countries, you must be at least 21 years of age. There is no legal upper age limit, but adoption agencies have to be sure you will have the energy needed to bring up a demanding child and your health is good enough for you to offer a stable home.

Parenting any child is demanding, but for adoptive parents, there can be additional challenges. Children come to adoption with many complex needs, particularly the ones who are adopted when they are older. Some will have been abused, neglected or have been at risk of this.

Before the child is adopted, discussions will take place between the prospective adoptive parents, the birth parents and the child’s social worker at different meetings. The Adoption Panel will recommend whether the arrangement is in the best interests of the child.

Not that many parents voluntarily give up babies for adoption but older children can be great fun. Older children need to be aware of their adoption from the beginning. If you are going to adopt an older child, the court will want to know whether the child understands what adoption is, and will consider the child's own wishes and feelings about it.

If your own child is adopted

If your own child is adopted, you lose your legal rights over her, and you will not be entitled to see her again or claim her back.

Social Services work to help families to stay together, but sometimes it will be in the best interests of the child not to live with their own family.

However, if a social worker is concerned about the way you are treating your child, they will try to help you rather than take the child away. Even if it does come to that, you should still be able to visit your child in foster care before adoption is considered, and it may be that, with more support, your child can come back to you. Fostering is not the same as adoption.

If you want your own child to be adopted

Once your child is adopted by another family, you will lose all your legal rights over her. You will not be entitled to see the child again or claim her back. So you need to consider carefully before making any decision.

If you have any worries, doubts or questions, Social Services will help you as much as they can. You will also want to talk things over with your family. It might help to talk to someone like your doctor, clergyman or solicitor.

Once you have decided to have your child adopted, the court will appoint an independent social worker to visit you. They will need to be sure that you agree to your child's adoption without any conditions and that you understand the implications.

If they are satisfied you have considered it carefully, the social worker will ask you to sign a formal document showing your agreement. The social worker will also sign it as a witness. They will then give the form to the court and report to it that you understand what is involved.

Once you begin the adoption process, and you then have second thoughts and want to change your mind, you need to get legal advice from a solicitor as soon as possible.

Before your rights as a parent are taken away by a court, so your child can be adopted, one of two things must happen:

You must agree to this happening.

OR

The court must decide to dispense with the need for you to agree.