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    The Little Vanilla Book: S&M Wisdom to Improve Your Everyday Life
    The Little Vanilla Book: S&M Wisdom to Improve Your Everyday Life
    The Little Vanilla Book: S&M Wisdom to Improve Your Everyday Life
    Ebook124 pages1 hour

    The Little Vanilla Book: S&M Wisdom to Improve Your Everyday Life

    By Lux Alani

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    About this ebook

    Lace up your corset and embrace your stiletto swagger with this unblushing guide to personal growth using the virtues of (gasp!) S&M.

    Offering mighty insights on everything from whipping negativity into submission to breaking the bondage of bad self-body image, The Little Vanilla Book gives you the tools you need to awaken the heroine deep inside and open your life to a scintillating new world of self discovery.

    Within the pages of this loving and bawdy exploration of all things you, former dominatrix Lux Alani uses her personal experiences and research to uncover the surprising truth that some of the primary lessons and practices found in the world of kink aren’t just for the kinksters—with the right mindset they’re for you too.

    But wait! If you’re nervous that you’ll need to buy a paddle and latex catsuit to get your transformation on, don’t worry! This isn’t about getting into the kink scene or practicing BDSM. Looking at five key aspects of every woman’s life: authenticity, confidence, body image, resilience, and fear, The Little Vanilla Book is truly about taking a unique journey to self-love and empowerment—one that shows you how to unchain your courage, reclaim your awesome self, and live your truth with gusto.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAtria Books/Beyond Words
    Release dateOct 6, 2015
    ISBN9781501110580
    The Little Vanilla Book: S&M Wisdom to Improve Your Everyday Life
    Author

    Lux Alani

    Known for her gritty, poetic, and darkly humorous voice, Lux Alani is an internationally published writer, former international model, and longtime boxing fan. She is an advocate of power, shenanigans, and impossible triumphs. Her daring work calls the reader to rise. Visit her at LuxAlani.com.

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    Reviews for The Little Vanilla Book

    4/5

    15 ratings2 reviews

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    • 5/5
      I liked the fact it was written by a female who is typically an ideal by society yet she didn't feel that way about herself. She took strange paths to find herself and she didn't sexualize bdsm she empowered it and backed it up with psychological aspects.
    • 5/5
      This is an INCREDIBLY POWERFUL book (a big statement coming from me, a 30-something southern woman, mom, wife who recently spent several years caring for my own mom before her death while also facing a major health crisis of my own - both of which left me far, far away from "me" and lost). I've read LOTS of "finding myself again" books. Too many to count. I loved this from about a million "vanilla" (and not so vanilla) angles since part of my journey back has included facing and embracing not just my grief, pain, and disillusionment with myself, but also reveling in my newly "official" role as a submissive (something I had long fought myself about as I struggled against societal views of submission = weakness instead of acknowledging and freely admitting how natural and amazing that role is to me). Having somewhat recently become an official "kinkster" this spoke deeply to both my "vanilla“ and adventerous ;) sides. AMAZINGLY read that I will be recommending to kinky and non-kinky friends alike!

      2 people found this helpful

    Book preview

    The Little Vanilla Book - Lux Alani

    Let’s be true to ourselves even when it ain’t pretty.

    Let’s fuck up and make messes, laugh and love. Let’s become our own heroines.

    In this unblushing guide to personal growth, author Lux Alani draws on her dominatrix experiences to offer cheeky, kink-think wisdom—covering topics like authenticity, confidence, body image, resilience, and courage—using life lessons and practices found in the taboo world of BDSM. With its simple but essential message of empowerment, The Little Vanilla Book is the perfect gift for a woman to give herself and her girlfriends for ongoing inspiration. So, embrace some stiletto swagger and uncover the surprising truth that kink wisdom isn’t just for kinksters—with the right mindset every woman can use a little BDSM spirit to wake up her inner truth (latex catsuit optional).

    CONTENTS

    Epigraph

    A Note from Lux

    Setting the Scene

    On Authenticity

    On Confidence

    On Body Image

    On Resilience

    On Courage

    Where Kink Meets Vanilla

    Lace Up, Goddess Janes

    Parting Spank

    Wisdom Spanks

    Acknowledgments

    About the Author

    Notes

    Glossary

    Bonus Scene: My First Spanking

    For the quirky, lovely, burdened, pure force who was my mother; who would have choked on her tea, then tried out a life spank.

    ’Cause I’m a woman

    Phenomenally.

    —MAYA ANGELOU, Phenomenal Woman

    A NOTE FROM LUX

    Hey lovely sisters! Get ready for potent and cheeky life lessons and heart-to-heart wisdom. My mission is to inspire you to claim your power and divinity. I want to help you past S&M taboos so that my message can reach you. I understand your concern about taboos, I’m vanilla, too. (I’m also an experienced crisis counselor so feel free to freak out, I’ve got you.)

    The thing is, I practice radical openness to empowerment, because who wants disempowerment? I base my choices on whether they deepen my purpose, nurture me, and keep me proactive. And I love outside-the-box empowerment, it’s the best!

    S&M is chock-full of spiritual, psychological, and emotional treats. My little book is not about sexuality or erotica, it’s kink-think for empowerment. Sex doesn’t define S&M, and it doesn’t define me—but if it frees your inner dominatrix (or submissive), that’s okay too!

    Since S&M was a whole ’nother world for me, I created an acronym for kink: Kind Intent Nurtures Knowing. This acronym might help you, too, as it works in both the vanilla and kink worlds. It paved the way for my dominatrix detour, which I hope empowers those who might never step a (stiletto) foot inside a dungeon.

    Welcome to my journey of stepping outside of societal norms, figuring out who I would be if I granted myself freedom, and exploring all things power in BDSM. I cracked the whip so you don’t have to. Here’s to expressing our truth and beauty—who cares if the inspiration is unconventional? As you’ll soon find, self-help can be sexy and fun!

    SETTING THE SCENE

    Don’t compromise yourself.

    You are all you’ve got.

    —Janis Joplin

    Don’t be too much, don’t rise above, and for fuck’s sake, don’t swagger! All females, from girlhood to womanhood, receive these messages. We’ve absorbed them and, if we’re really being honest, even tried to conform to them.

    How about reclaiming our worth? Deep down, we want to be true to our wildest spirits and live meaningful lives. We want to own our power. Sometimes that takes TLC, and sometimes it takes a spank in the right direction.

    The Little Vanilla Book is for women who want to shine. It gives personal power a fresh new meaning and cheers you on to live with authentic confidence. You’ll be inspired to step into you, while rocking a gentle heart and sky-high stilettos.

    Embracing your power is choosing not to play small. It’s choosing to become your own heroine. If playing small worked, we would not need radical inspiration, but there’s a time for Martha Stewart and a time for hella-real empowerment.

    You’re about to liberate your flawless self. How? By taking an all-new look at authenticity, self-confidence, body image, resilience, and courage. These core states show up in all aspects of your life. Each one affects whether you bring the sexy and nail life with gusto.

    If you prefer homogenized inspiration, bless you, but this probably ain’t the book for you. The Little Vanilla Book uses—gasp—kink-inspired wisdom for personal growth. BDSM is probably the last thing you thought would enlighten you, and I’m with you on that. But its core elements are trust, power, surrender, and self-expression.

    I don’t identify as kinky, and I’m assuming that you don’t either if you’re reading a book with vanilla in the title. Yet the art of domination helped me rethink my power, tenderness, and truth. My journey from vanilla to dominatrix and back delivered potent life lessons worth passing on.

    Simply put, I’m vanilla with insights from the kink world. Add a big dose of humanity to those insights and you have The Little Vanilla Book. This isn’t about looking sexy in a corset or getting a submissive to do your housework, it’s about empowering those of us—like yummy vanillas—who don’t self-define as kinky. We might have kink curiosity, but we dig in our five-inch heels when it comes to deviance.

    So what is BDSM? It’s an umbrella term for consensual erotic practices involving power play:

    Bondage and Discipline / Dominance and Submission / Sadism and Masochism

    All the taboos under one sexy red umbrella! Kink and S&M are shorthand.

    For those about to run out and buy a latex dress and a paddle, this isn’t an entrée into the kink scene. It’s not even about sexuality but about your potentiality. You’ll likely agree that trust, communication, personal boundaries, and honoring power and the choice of surrendering are all good principles to live by. These are the guiding principles for power play and form BDSM’s Safe, Sane, and Consensual ethic, and are the foundation for every last spanking and handcuffing.

    Seeing past BDSM taboos to kink-think can help rock your life. Everything in these pages is designed to support your calling to reach higher, embrace your divinity, live with truth, and make nice with your rockin’ bod. S&M wisdom is good for the vanilla heart and soul. It may even lead to radical self-love.

    Now break out those stilettos, and let’s get walking.

    KINK-INSPIRED VANILLA AHA’S

    Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We’re not inherently anything but human.

    —Robin Morgan

    The biggest obstacle to women’s empowerment is not living our truth. Being true to ourselves is essential and is the purest act of self-love. The opposite of that is submitting to a social script about who we’re supposed to be that runs counter to what’s in our hearts.

    Women have gotten the message loud and clear that our looks are our primary value. Basing our value on our cheekbones, breasts, and asses does not put us in a position of power. Manifesting our truth does. Empowerment requires potent practices to not only find it but to constantly bring it. Each upcoming life spank is a mindful incentive to help you do just that. Each will empower you to live with swagger in spite of your supposed flaws or whether or not you got the promotion or the gold ring.

    You’re about to get all up in your you-ness (hooray!). You are going to delight in your fab self. You don’t buy in to the ideal woman myth any more than you believe in a one-size-fits-all blueprint for life. You’re about to take a step—the most important step—the first one. Mine went something like this.

    I have a driving need to be of service, whether feeding the homeless or being the last resort in a crisis, and have spent time on the lines as a crisis counselor. You always get more than you give, and this was never truer than on the night I took a call from a lonely woman who just needed to talk. We chatted about

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