Fart Squad #4: The Toilet Vortex
By Seamus Pilger and Stephen Gilpin
5/5
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About this ebook
It’s the fourth adventure from the belly-bloating, plunger-toting, pants-exploding . . . fearless FART SQUAD! This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and a butt-load of bathroom humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish.
Something is rotten in the plumbing of Harry Buttz Elementary School, and it’s kidnapped Janitor Stan!
It’s up to the Fart Squad to dive into the toilet vortex to save their scent-sei from the World of the Royal Flush. Grab a match, because this stink just got real. Only the Fart Squad has the guts, the gall, and the gas to flush this round brown mound before he overflows his toilet kingdom on the world.
Seamus Pilger
Seamus Pilger is an award-winning fartologist and a burrito enthusiast. He first became interested in superfartabilities while studying the alternate forms of propulsion for space travel. While intergalactic gastroenterological propulsion failed, Seamus has made many discoveries in the fermentation of foods in humans. Seamus is a graduate at FRT. He is a lifelong vegetarian and lives on a bean farm in Minnesota.
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Book preview
Fart Squad #4 - Seamus Pilger
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Excerpt from Fart Squad: Underpantsed!
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About the Author and Illustrator
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
CHAPTER ONE
"I think I’m going to be sick," Darren Stonkadopolis groaned as he backed away from the toilet.
Janitor Stan leaned over his shoulder to get a better look at the offending specimen. Oh, you’re fine,
he said. Happens all the time.
And with the push of one finger, Stan flushed that toilet good.
Stan was the only human being whom Darren and his friends trusted to keep their identity as the elusive superhero team, the Fart Squad, a secret. He also doubled as their coach, or scent-sei. Cleaning up toilets after school wasn’t exactly how Darren would have chosen to demonstrate his gratitude. But when Stan asked Darren for help with a running toilet, Darren just couldn’t say no.
Okay,
Stan declared to the otherwise empty bathroom, which one of you won’t shut up?
He eyed the row of stalls before pointing to the far end. Aha, gotcha!
he announced.
Darren followed the janitor to the last stall. No water on the floor,
Stan said as they stopped in front of it. That’s good.
He pushed the stall door open, and Darren shivered. Suddenly it was really, really cold in there!
Stan grabbed the toilet handle and tried jiggling it. The water kept running, forming a swirling vortex in the center of the bowl. He lifted the lid off the toilet’s tank and peered inside. Everything looks okay,
he told Darren, but sometimes something gets knocked loose.
Then, much to Darren’s horror, the janitor reached inside the toilet’s tank and fiddled with a valve, but the water kept on running.
Nothing there,
Stan said, pulling his arm from the tank and drying it on a rag from his back pocket. Could be something clogging the actual toilet pipe, I guess. What’s weird is the toilets up here have been doing this all week—every time I get one to stop, another starts acting up.
He studied the toilet bowl and the water swirling down into it before finally sticking his hand in there, as well, causing Darren to gag.
There’s definitely suction,
he reported. A whole lot of it, actually. In fact
—his shoulder twitched and wrenched, but his hand was still in the toilet—I think I’m stuck!
What?
Darren grabbed the janitor’s free hand and tried to pull him loose. It didn’t help. Then the rushing-water noise got louder, and suddenly