Growing Friendships: A Kids' Guide to Making and Keeping Friends
5/5
()
About this ebook
Friendships aren’t always easy for kids. Almost every child struggles socially at some time, in some way. Having an argument with a friend, getting teased, or even trying to find a buddy in a new classroom…although these are typical problems, they can be tough. Children want to fit in, but sometimes getting along with friends is complicated. Psychologist and children’s friendship expert Eileen Kennedy-Moore and parenting and health writer Christine McLaughlin give kids the answers they need to make and keep friends using five essential skills:
-Reaching Out to Make Friends
-Stepping Back to Keep Friends
-Blending In to Join Friends
-Speaking Up to Share With Friends
-Letting Go to Accept Friends
With research-based, practical solutions and plenty of true-to-life-examples of social skills in practice—presented in lighthearted humorous cartoons—Growing Friendships is a toolkit for both boys and girls as they make sense of the social environment around them. They will learn how to be open to friendship, choose kind friends, and most important, be a good friend.
Eileen Kennedy-Moore
Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, is an internationally published author, psychologist, and mother of four. She is a trusted expert on parenting and children’s feelings and friendships who is frequently quoted in major magazines and newspapers and has been a featured guest on national radio and television shows. Her books have been translated into seven languages. She is a professor for the Great Courses, serves on the advisory board for Parents magazine, and writes the popular Growing Friendships blog for Psychology Today. Dr. Kennedy-Moore has a private practice in Princeton, New Jersey, where she works with adults, children, and families. Visit her online at EileenKennedyMoore.com.
Related to Growing Friendships
Related ebooks
Socially ADDept: Teaching Social Skills to Children with ADHD, LD, and Asperger's Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Just Tell Me What to Say: Simple Scripts for Perplexed Parents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Teach your kids to SHRUG! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Social-Emotional Guidebook: Motivate Children with Social Challenges to Master Social & Emotional Coping Skills Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Make Friends and Influence People (For Kids) - Teach Your Child How to Make Friends and be Popular: Positive Parenting, #3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Everything Tween Book: A Parent's Guide to Surviving the Turbulent Pre-Teen Years Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings12 Annoying Monsters: Self-talk for kids with anxiety Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Friends Forever: How Parents Can Help Their Kids Make and Keep Good Friends Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nurturing the Shy Child: Practical Help for Raising Confident and Socially Skilled Kids and Teens Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Six Steps to an Emotionally Intelligent Teenager: Teaching Social Skills to Your Teen Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Kid Confidence : A Parent's Guide : How to Build Resilience and Develop Self-Esteem in Your Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJane’s Worry Elephant: A Self-Help Guide for Kids with Anxiety Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStress Free Kids: A Parent's Guide to Helping Build Self-Esteem, Manage Stress, and Reduce Anxiety in Children Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsParenting Teens: Raising Balanced Teenagers and Helping them Become Extraordinary Adults: A+ Parenting Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5What Were You Thinking? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAnxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Parent's Guide to Talking About Sex: A Complete Guide to Raising (Sexually) Safe, Smart, and Healthy Children Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings100 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Teach Values Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Mother of All Parenting Books: The Ultimate Guide to Raising a Happy, Healthy Child from Preschool through the Preteens Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCalming Angry Kids: Help and Hope for Parents in the Whirlwind Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Children's Social Themes For You
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Prince Caspian: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Witch of Blackbird Pond: A Newbery Award Winner Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Bridge to Terabithia Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Graveyard Book Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Silver Chair: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Keeper of the Lost Cities Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Horse and His Boy: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stuart Little Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Amari and the Night Brothers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The One and Only Bob Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Out of My Mind Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Number the Stars: A Newbery Award Winner Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Velveteen Rabbit Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unlocked Book 8.5 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Last Battle: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pete the Kitty: Ready, Set, Go-Cart! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Frog and Toad: A Little Book of Big Thoughts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape!: An Easter And Springtime Book For Kids Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Crossover: A Newbery Award Winner Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sarah, Plain and Tall: A Newbery Award Winner Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Invisible Things Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Exile Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Nightfall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Pete the Kitty Goes to the Doctor Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Winnie the Pooh: The Classic Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The School for Good and Evil: Now a Netflix Originals Movie Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Clackity Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Growing Friendships
2 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Growing Friendships - Eileen Kennedy-Moore
Have you ever wished you had more friends? Most kids do at some point. Maybe your friends are in a different class this year. Or maybe your best friend moved away. Maybe you’re starting at a new school. Maybe you’re just not getting along with your old friends the way you used to. This part of Growing Friendships is all about Reaching Out to make new friends. Whatever your reason is for wanting more friends, the next three chapters will give you lots of ideas about how to make them.
BRANDON’S CHALLENGE: FEELING ALONE
Brandon wishes he had someone to play with at recess, but he doesn’t know how to connect with others. His body language—looking away, standing apart, even tuning everyone out by reading his book—tells them, I don’t like you, and I don’t want to hang out with you!
That’s not what he’s feeling, but that’s the message he’s sending.
What can Brandon do to Reach Out to other kids and show them he’s interested in being friends?
SAYING HELLO
Have you ever noticed what happens when you arrive at school? Kids say, Hi!
And they don’t just announce Hi!
to the air. They greet specific people. They look them in the eye, they smile, and they often say the other person’s name. Try this experiment: The next day you go to school, count how many greetings you hear. You may be surprised by how often kids greet each other.
Greeting people tells them you’re happy to see them. It’s also important to smile and say hi back when someone greets you. If you look away and say nothing or just mumble something, the other person might think you don’t want to be friends.
You may want to practice friendly greetings. They won’t instantly get you friends, but they open the door to friendship. The more you practice greetings, the more comfortable you’ll feel doing them.
Start by greeting family members. Then think of kids at school you can greet. Use your face and your body language to show that you’re happy to see them. Use their names to make the greeting personal. And be ready to respond in a friendly way when someone greets you.
WHY FRIENDLY GREETINGS MATTER
Sometimes kids don’t want to greet others because they worry that they won’t get a response. They’re afraid of feeling foolish or getting rejected and being embarrassed. But you’ll stand out more if you don’t greet people.
You don’t have to be best friends with people to greet them. You just have to know them a little bit and think they’re nice. A friendly greeting takes only a few seconds but it goes a long way toward setting a positive tone and showing other kids that you’re interested in being friends.
What happens after Hi!
? Keep doing friendly things to show that you like them. You can do these right after the greeting or later. Here are some ideas you can try:
1. Ask interested questions.
Asking questions shows someone you want to know more about them. The best questions to ask begin with what or how because they tend to get longer answers that can lead to a conversation. One or two questions is usually enough at one time. More than that gets annoying. You don’t want to turn the conversation into an interview!
Avoid asking why questions because they can sound mean. It can seem like you’re asking, Why did you do such a dumb thing?!
even when you’re not.
2. Give an honest compliment.
It feels good to get a compliment, and we tend to like people who notice and appreciate our good qualities. Keep your eyes open for ways that you can compliment other kids. Compliments don’t have to be long or complicated, but they must be honest. If someone gives you a compliment, be sure to smile and say, Thanks!
3. Do a small act of kindness.
Being kind is a great way to start a friendship. An act of small kindness tells kids that you like them and it makes you feel good. Be careful not to give away money or favorite things of yours. If the act of kindness is too big, the other kids might feel pressured, and you might feel bad if they don’t return the favor.
RAVEN’S CHALLENGE: TRYING TO IMPRESS
CONNECTING, NOT IMPRESSING
Raven wants to be friends with the other kids, but she’s going about it in the wrong way. She’s focusing on impressing them when she should be thinking about connecting with them.
Some kids believe in the Magnet Myth of Friendship. They think that all they have to do is be so amazing and wonderful that they’ll attract friends the way a magnet attracts metal. That’s not how friendship works.
The Magnet Myth of Friendship is just that—a myth. It isn’t true. Friendship is about enjoying each other’s company, not proving how great you are. Trying to impress people will not help you make friends, and could even make them dislike you.
BUILD FRIENDSHIPS BASED ON WHAT YOU BOTH LIKE
Raven wants people to admire her, but the other kids aren’t interested in being her audience and applauding her. She is probably thinking, Please like me!
but her bragging tells them, I think I’m better than you!
That’s not a good way to make