Judas’ Goat
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About this ebook
Tatiana Whigham
Tatiana Whigham is currently still a teacher at heart; Tatiana is a local financial professional. Having been born as an Army Brat, Tatiana has had the sheer pleasure of meeting people from all different walks of life. Being born in Germany herself, she had not only the opportunity to see the world, but to also see life through the eyes of a different perspective. It is in the midst of these very experiences that Tatiana began to write. Tatiana’s writings are meant to expose the true emotion, fears, and pressures that we do our best to hide on a daily basis. Through writings such as these, we hope that this really encourages someone to pray a little harder and to have faith a little longer.
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Judas’ Goat - Tatiana Whigham
Whigham
Introduction
Bianca
Thursday, May 2nd 8:23am
Sitting here thinking, nobody cares but me. I might as well pack up my bags and leave. I just want the pain to stop. I just want to feel free. I just want to live in a world where somebody else notices besides me. I’m surrounded by a nice house, a nice car, and people all of the time. When what I really need is just a second or two to clear my mind. God please take me away from here. Dying alone used to be one of my biggest fears, but now it’s the only comfort that I have. I’m just tired . ..I’m just tired.
Standing in front of the mirror, all I see is the reflection of the person that I never hoped to be. Yeah, she looks like me; she even bears my name. . . .Bianca Simms, nick-named Beebe. But she’s nothing, no nothing like me, not anymore. I watch helplessly as the tears trickle down my cheek. I’m lost in the trance of what was supposed to be. I never wanted to be here, and I never asked for this. But in life, you don’t always get everything that you wish. Not having the notion of doing much else, I sing. I sing the only song that’s left inside of me.
"I know why the caged bird sings, she sings because she’ll one day be free. I know why she spreads her wings, because it’s been so long, now she has no one to please. . ." as I turn on the faucet, filling up my cup with water.
". . .And everyone cheers, but no one sees. The girl who’s been caged, . . .but now is free. ." the harder I sing, the more the tears flow. Just a few more minutes now, and I can finally let go.
". . . Oh, I know why the caged bird sings. She sings because she’s been set free . . .and no one. . .no, no one can ever . . . " singing now barely audible between my cries. Staring at myself, there’s no need to wipe the tears from my eyes. Getting the pill bottle out of my purse, I hold it close just for a second. My legs give way from underneath me now,