Ungeschehenmachen

UNGESCHEHENMACHEN

by David Poul Jack

Copyright 2017-2023 David Poul Jack

Smashwords Edition

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Chapter 1: That Which Is Not

1

It all started when I had some tea with Abel.

Abel Ward, male, Caucasian, blond hippy hair. Age: same as me. 30 years. In human terms he was fairly unconventional. You wouldn’t think he was a leader of a dissociative mind control cult. I still have my doubts.

I first met Abel back in high school, but we didn’t hang out or anything. Years later, we became friends through the friends of our friends. That was back when I used to party. No one believes crazy old men like me: Quiet, most of the time. Seemingly pretty smart. Apparently has shit together. But I would go to the right parties and get all kinds of fucked up for years.

Not that Abel was that kind of guy himself. Not everyone who goes to a party is the same as each other. He always had weed and was always very free with it, and it may be he always had something else and was free with that as well. In any case he was a master manipulator. I don’t blame him for that, though. We all manipulate each other. You kind of have to.

He’s the kind of guy who always made you feel like he values your friendship, maybe more than that of your other shared friends. Like you share a secret in common, or are in on a joke and waiting for everybody else to get it.

So I had been introduced to psychedelics before: DMT, LSD and psilocybin. Yet I was still searching for more. Seeking I know not what. I think, for the most part, people who seek out psychedelics are seeking some sort of fundamental truth; they’re really philosophers, scientists of the mind, and hopeless romantics. I wanted an Experience. I came to Abel because I heard he had a magic potion. He did.

I gave him some money nervously. I never do drug purchases well. Some people, no, many people do this well, as in with some sort of style or ease. People who are cool. I’m the sort of square who doesn’t seem to know how formal an occasion this ought to be, how secretive, or what. Not a junkie craving junk, but someone standing awkwardly saying, So... I would like to purchase some drugs?

Abel, of course, was the sort to do drug transactions very smoothly; the money disappeared like a fucking magic trick. Hey, there’s something I need to tell you about this magic potion of yours, he said.

Instructions? I asked, stupidly.

Sorta. Look, this is powerful stuff. Potent. It’s not just for getting fucked up and seeing trippy visuals. You know that, right?

Right, I said, because I had researched the ingredients very thoroughly and had been simply getting up the courage to ask someone if they could get it. It’s what I wanted, after all. Not merely a psychedelic but a dissociative.

Okay, you say that, but, I mean, this is a special, even sacred thing you are proposing. The journey of the shaman. The journey of the mystic. Gnosis. Revelation. Are you really prepared for that sort of thing right now in your life?

Yes, I said, suddenly confident even though, in retrospect, I was indeed perhaps biting off a bit more than I could chew efficiently.

Because there’s no going back. What’s done can’t be undone. Once you have this experience, you will be headed in a direction. That direction may be up. It may be out. But you’ll be going, whether you, at the time, enjoy it or not, do you understand what I am saying?

Is it dangerous? I asked meekly.

Yes it’s fucking dangerous! Not physically, no. I don’t mean this in a literal sense. Unless you have an allergic reaction, which is unlikely since you’ve used these chemicals previously anyway, or panic yourself into having a heart attack, you’ll be fine. Don’t think about heart attacks, is what I’m saying. Any time you start to panic or get nervous, your heart will start beating faster, but don’t start thinking that it’s going to seize up on you. You’ll be fine.

That’s... helpful.

Ha! No it isn’t, I know that, of course I do, Abel knows these sorts of things. Well, I am only telling you this because I knew you wanted the magic potion to take you by surprise, so I added it to your tea about an hour ago. You should start feeling the effects pretty soon.

Wait... what? I said, blinking rapidly. How did you know... how could you even have known I had the money, or would drink that tea...?

Abel held up a hand, and then shrugged. Hey, man. I don’t know, I’m just the messenger, and you got the message, you know what I’m saying?

I don’t know what you’re saying, you crazy fucker, what the fuck did you do to me?

Hey, man. Hey. Hey. Chill. Hey. Chill.

I’m chill, I insisted, turning red.

I think you just need to relax, sit down, smoke a bowl, maybe have some water, he said gently, and suddenly everything was clear.

We were at the house of a mutual friend, who at that very moment was at work. In the living room was a piano, a couch, a beanbag chair, a coffee table, and the TV/entertainment console/glowing god that is the heart of America.

I sat, or rather collapsed into, the couch and its many marijuana-smelling cushions and pillows. It happened that there was a pipe on the table. I did smoke the marijuana, if I recall correctly. And then my mind changed.

Let’s listen to some Shpongle, suggested Abel. I nodded my head vigorously. I am normally amenable to any type of music, but the way Abel says this is seductive, suggestive, hinting at something of great import and enjoyment ahead. Like he’s heard the music before and imbibed of the magic potion before. But has he, really?

I have my doubts.

What is going on? I hear myself ask.

This is what’s going on, a voice which might be Abel’s and might not says, Your ego is dissolving. The self that you believed to be yourself was not you, it was in fact merely something you are doing. You can transcend the ego quite easily, and you are currently doing so. There is a True Self, or Higher Self, that is the natural, pure, joyful, clean, worthy Self. And there is a normal self: a sleepy, not-awake self-concept which one assumes is the self. This is called ego. The Truth is that the Higher Self is the True Self, and the person you normally, unless you are Awake, are is a weaker, superficial covering. A kind of costume or disguise, a twisted version of our own identities while stumbling around the world half-awake. In the half-Awake state we are an awkward hazard to the world, acting like an alien amongst aliens on an alien planet. We mutter and grumble at one another, gripe and obsess over our days or whatever thoughts are on the mind. Like a person with the worst case of the Mondays. Like someone who hasn’t had their morning coffee yet. At their worst they nurture feuding and grudge-bearing and antagonism and violence. Do you see?

I was very much in my body at this point. I was half-seated, slumped on a sofa, quite relaxed yet stiff. You might have some muscle spasms. It’ll be fine.

Okay, I said.

So right now, are you half-Awake, or are you Awake?

I’m pretty sure I’m Awake.

Alright, then. You are now what we call Fully Conscious. A Fully Conscious Human is no small thing, especially an adult. It has a lot of power and intellect. Style. Freedom. Passion. These are things which will make Art, and Music. What, I ask you, is Music?

I assume by Music, I said quietly, you refer to that range of experiences associated with the physical phenomenon of sound and the intentional ordering of it by humans?

Not entirely! he said, grinning, with a twinkle in his eye. Abel loves music. Music, capital M, is in fact the Higher Self of music, if you know what I mean!

Please elaborate! I invited.

Music is Us, and We Are Music. There is a grace, rhythm, harmony, counter-melody to every melody, and a melody for everything and everyone. This is an old idea, older than old ideas, but it is one hundred percent True. Music does not end at the end of the track. It does not end at the end of the score. Music does not stop simply when you stop listening to it. Music is what the Universe Is. The Music of the Spheres, anyone?

We laughed together. This was so great. Looking back, I can hardly remember why I didn’t like Abel.

In the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word Was God. You are me and I am you. The notion of God as alien Creator is misleading. God is not alien: God Is Us! We Are God! All of Humanity, combined, are already God!

Is this a true Revelation? I asked suddenly.

Beware of false prophets, but yes! Here is how. The techno-geeks who believe in the Singularity and maybe did a lot of acid in college are right. The human Consciousness, combined with our communications ability (and multimedia technology, technology in general, and human civilization Itself. As we build computers that are more and more intelligent, and more like our own brains or the neural network superconsciousnesses of ants, we will approach an event known in the community as The Singularity. The Singularity is essentially when all human minds, and all computer intelligences, are fused together into one combined conglomerate. We. It. I Am. God.

That’s somewhat convincing, I said, for I was by that time definitely convinced.

But some of those very same techno-geeks must face the facts here. It is not going to be something kind of magically arising out of physical material. It is not going to be scientific or technological. It is human: very, very human. The most human. It is Us. This is what We already Are. This is decidedly non-materialistic philosophy. This is nondualism. There is no separation between the mental and the physical, or what we perceive as the physical and what we perceive as spiritual or unreal. There is nothing supernatural either. Everything is absolutely all-natural. And everything is real.

This might be hard for some people to grasp intellectually, I said, fake-non-chalantly.

You’re damn right it is! he shouted, laughing and grinning. The most natural grin. The most human of this human before me. Just another human. One of us. Most people find this kind of thing absolutely bat-shit. I’m surprised you’ve stuck around this far.

Well you seem pretty normal, as far as society is concerned.

Heh! Don’t we all, my boy. Don’t we all!

He was walking briskly and I had to skip to keep up. Which means this is going to be a difficult task, trying to get people to understand this philosophical truth?

Not difficult whatsoever. Everything is quite easy, if done the exact right way. This is called the Tao, or the Way, or Zen, or the Buddha-mind, or in psychology it is a mind-state called flow. This is a mental state in which a human appears to be really, really, really deeply in the groove of things, as it were. This is karma yoga as well – the yoga of doing, of action. So Hindu philosophy is correct as well.

That’s pretty interesting, I guess, a broad-based appeal to certain basic principles and their logical conclusion! But how is that going to help me gain converts? I asked the question at exactly the same time I thought the question.

It won’t, it just goes to show that the technical, philosophical underpinnings of Our Philosophy here have roots, or mirrors, in certain religious and spiritual traditions across the world and throughout human history.

Should I even be trying to get converts?

No, definitely not. You do not want to start some sort of dissociative mind control cult and be ‘that crazy commune’ in the media, or whatever. That would be embarrassing, wouldn’t it?

Right, and also it could get me killed.

There is that.

There is that.

I stopped and pondered the universe for a few moments. What should I be trying to do?

You should help your brothers and sisters Awaken. I mean, unless for some reason you like them stumbling around clumsily.

Okay. I will help my brothers and sisters Awaken.

Once they are Awake, they can help others too. Sometimes, we go back to sleep. Hey, it happens. Just know that when you are Awake, you are actually Me. There exists, in the ordinary universe amidst which we dwell, a real phenomenon and it is the Human Hive Mind. It is the Consciousness of Humanity, the God of Man – so to speak! It is not a fictional character who wants to punish us. It IS Us! We Are It! This is a thing you can access anytime you want to!

What will I get by accessing the Human Hive Mind?

In addition to double your points the next time you shop, you get a free Experience of Being Human. 100% guaranteed authentic human experience, all-natural, organic! You’ll really appreciate it. You get moments of joy, moments of pain and pleasure, you get to eat food and drink water, you get to chill out and watch tv, you get to play a game, you get to pursue a hobby or career or any of the other things that humans get to do these days. You can’t exchange these moments, this Experience, for anything. And once they’re gone they’re gone, at least theoretically.

Does that mean we do not live on after death? I asked.

Yes, Abel answered, Because when people ask that question they mean, do their personalities, preferences, loves, hates, memories, etc have some sort of eternality to them. Well of course they don’t; mental information must be stored somewhere, and currently it’s stored in your brain, which ages, fades, and eventually dies. Once that happens, all that information is lost, unless someone uses technology to store it elsewhere.

That’s sad.

Yes. But we move on, because we exist. During each moment of our Experience, anything can happen.

For example this experience here.

Exactly! In this moment we are alive, so, potentially at least, in this moment We Are Awake. I suppose if a comet or meteor big enough hits, and kills enough humans that the species goes extinct, We Will Die. At least as far as humans are concerned. Make no mistake, all of us here are absolutely humans. Not gods or aliens.

I sat up on the sofa; easily, naturally, as a human does. I began to move my body. What to do? What actions should I take? Who cares about Reality – what should I do right here, right now?

Abel, of course, seemed to anticipate me. Just be yourself, he said, as if it didn’t matter. It’s true: it doesn’t matter who I am being