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    I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last
    I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last
    I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last
    Ebook193 pages2 hours

    I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last

    By Deb DeArmond

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    Married for nearly 38 years, author Deborah DeArmond and her husband have made the spoken declaration, “I choose you today” a regular part of their communication. It’s when we least feel like saying it that we need to remind ourselves that love is a choice, not a feeling. I Choose You Today features 31 scriptural principles that support marriage and help couples develop healthy biblically based behavior.

    Built on an introductory anecdotal story, each chapter has an inspirational takeaway of not only what to do, but how to begin applying the principles immediately. Thought provoking questions create talking points for couples to explore their own choices and experiences in each area serve to generate open dialogue of discovery. I Choose You Today is not a book of "shoulds," but one of clearly identified choices that each individual can make to grow their marriage and align it with the word of God. Every saying ends with a conventional wisdom quote.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAbingdon Press
    Release dateJan 6, 2015
    ISBN9781426796005
    I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last
    Author

    Deb DeArmond

    Deb DeArmond is an author, speaker, and coach with a focus on communication, relationships, and conflict resolution. Her writing explores marriage, parenting, in-law and extended family relationships. She is the author of Related By Chance, Family By Choice and I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last. Deb is a member of AWSA and the founder of Living-Write, where she coaches aspiring authors. She s monthly columnist and feature writer for Lifeway s Mature Living Magazine, and contributor to WHOA Magazine for Women. She and her husband live in the Dallas area.

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    Reviews for I Choose You Today

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    • 5/5
      See full review @ The Indigo Quill

      Special thanks to Litfuse Publicity and Abingdon Press for providing a copy of this book for an honest review.

      I'm glad to have a Deb DeArmond book on the blog again! This falls into the "self-help" category and is a good book for Christian couples looking to recenter their marriage (or serious dating couples). As someone who has experienced a broken marriage and ultimately a divorce, there are so many things that I either could have done better, or tried but realized it's vital that you both want to make it work.

      Now I'm in a serious relationship and we are talking about getting engaged soon. We've discussed premarital counseling and things we can do together to strengthen our relationship and work together within the same page. This book came across my table at the perfect time, and it's definitely something I'll be using for a while (maybe forever).

      I Choose You Today is a fairly small book and is very to-the-point. DeArmond gives 31 ways to help your marriage, almost like a couple's devotional. You can go through a new one every day, or you can reflect on a single choice per week (my recommendation). DeArmond gives real-life examples either from her and her husband's relationship, or someone she knows.

      One of my favorite things about this book is that it emphasizes the fact that marriage is a choice. "Love is not a feeling, and neither is marriage. Each is a choice-one that must be made every single day, even if it’s spoken through gritted teeth." It is a choice, but let me add one more thing: it is a choice for BOTH of you. If you work together and choose each other every day, if you keep God center, then no doubt you'll experience a marriage better than you've ever imagined.
    • 5/5
      Sunday, February 8, 2015I Choose You Today ~ nonfiction by Deb DeArmond, © 2015With Scripture and experienced application, Deb DeArmond shares stories in this 31-week topical study how God's Word is revealed in lives yielded to Him. To love and to cherish ~ blossoming when lived in His love and open to more He has in abundance for marriage relationships; a giving heart. Each chapter is followed by Choice Questions and Prayer. A study as a married couple, an engaged couple, as a devotional, for small group, or Bible study, you will be enriched. Choose chapters that speak to you now; study them before going on. This is for you, not to race on, but to gather and apply.An added benefit would be to journal important aspects that stand out to you. Make it your own. Topics that you might not have thought of with potential ways you can choose, to identify areas for attention and take action to strengthen your commitment. Perhaps you each would like a copy to color-code application areas.God created marriage; God has the answers.If we build our lives together on feelings alone, we will fail. Marriage at its very best always requires much more. True commitment, which is an active, demanding, daily choice, will lead us to marriage that happily lasts a lifetime.--I Choose You Today, 33Not everything has to be a problem area to be a place for discussion and reflection. You will benefit sharing together wisdom brought out in this book on different subjects you potentially may, or have come across.Adaptable ~"... when the Lord teaches me a principle, he provides opportunities for practice."--Ibid., 55Biblical applications ~Each person made a choice to let go of a program already in progress and adapt to God's direction. Each time, God was faithful.--Ibid., 56~*~A reminder why you chose the one you married and 31 ways to choose to love them every day.***Thank you to Litfuse Publicity Group for inviting me to be part of the blog tour for I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last by Deb DeArmond, published by Abingdon Press. This review was written in my own words. No other compensation was received.***

    Book preview

    I Choose You Today - Deb DeArmond

    Endorsements

    "It’s often been said that our choices define us. That’s true personally, but it’s also a key to our relationships. Deb DeArmond has provided a practical and insightful book detailing 31 choices we can make as husbands and wives that have the potential to transform even a good marriage—and make it a great one."

    —Greg Smalley, Vice President of Family Ministry, Focus on the Family

    "In I Choose You Today Deb DeArmond has done a masterful job of making marriage simple. I didn’t say easy—but simple. Through stories, scriptures, and concise instruction, Deb has laid out the one thing so many miss in marriage—the idea that we always, always have the option to choose our spouse. Not just the day of wedding, but every day. A must-read for all couples."

    —Nancy Smith, Senior Pastor, Catch the Fire DFW, co-author of Finding the One: Thinking Differently about Choosing a Spouse

    Deb DeArmond debunks the myth that a good marriage is a choice. It’s a series of choices. A fresh and valuable perspective for the newly or about-to-be married, the book reminds even the long-married that relationship health is entwined with our daily choices.

    —Cynthia Ruchti, speaker and award-winning author of Ragged Hope: Surviving the Fallout of Other People’s Choices

    "Deb DeArmond has a rare gift to point out those relationship issues that for most would go unnoticed. I Choose You Today offers thoughtful insight into important issues that nourish a relationship. I once heard a minister admonish a young couple after reciting their marriage vows: ‘You’ve chosen your love, now love your choice.’ The message in Deb’s book offers a roadmap to that reality."

    —Arthelene Rippy, Host of Homekeepers, CHRISTIAN TELEVISION NETWORK

    "If you want to enrich your relationship and see your marriage flourish, I Choose You Today is the book for you. It’s life-giving, thought-provoking, loaded with practical application, and full of heart. Deb’s wisdom, spiritual insight, scriptures, and stories are sure to transform your life."

    —Amy Schafer, Co-Pastor at Grace Life Church, TV Host at Cornerstone Network

    "There is no deeper joy in life than great love. Fortunately for us, I Choose You Today gives us a clear roadmap to achieving it with our spouse. Every couple—married or not—will benefit from reading Ms. DeArmond’s book."

    —Meg Meeker, M.D., best-selling author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters and co-host of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk radio broadcast

    "Wow. Deb DeArmond’s new book, I Choose You Today, is simply outstanding! It should be required reading for all young couples getting married or even those contemplating divorce. Time and again I was inspired by new insights that appeared in every chapter. If you want a better marriage, this book is essential reading."

    —Rick Johnson, best-selling author of Becoming Your Spouse’s Better Half and Romancing Your Better Half

    "As a pastor and sometime marriage counselor, I sit in front of countless couples, many of whom feel trapped by their circumstances and relationships. With I Choose You Today, Deb DeArmond seeks to reverse that trend, offering couples the opportunity to proactively prefer one another. I Choose You Today is a fantastic tool, providing relatable anecdotes and guiding questions for couples seeking to move from surviving to thriving in their marriage."

    —Alan Smith, Senior Pastor, Catch the Fire DFW, author of Unveiled: The Transforming Power of God’s Presence and Voice, co-author of Finding the One: Thinking Differently about Choosing a Spouse

    We choose this book! Deb DeArmond has crafted a thoughtful read with many tangible tools tucked between the pages—the perfect devotional for couples, encouraging them to dive deeper into their relationship.

    —Clint and Penny Bragg, authors of Marriage on the Mend: Healing Your Relationship After Crisis, Separation, or Divorce and co-founders of Inverse Ministries, Inc.

    "Deb DeArmond shares a wealth of wisdom to help couples move their marriages from ordinary to extraordinary. Filled with practical information and thought-provoking questions, I Choose You Today reminds all of us that true love is a choice rather than just a feeling."

    —Michelle Cox, author of Just 18 Summers and the creator/developer of the Just 18 Summers® brand of parenting products and resources

    "I Choose You Today is a stellar advance for starry-eyed newlyweds, practical hope for the married and desperate, and the appetizing promise of more for everyone in between—all delivered in entertaining, storytelling prose! I loved it!"

    —Shellie Rushing Tomlinson, Belle of All Things Southern, speaker, radio host, and author of Heart Wide Open

    "I Choose You Today digs deep into what makes marriage work, but even more importantly, what makes marriage last—happily."

    —Anita Agers Brooks, award-winning author of Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over

    The short, readable, do-able chapters are perfect for couples (even with hectic lives) to read together and discuss. I can’t think of a more practical gift for newlyweds or anyone wanting to nourish their marriage, one sacred choice at a time.

    —Becky Johnson, co-author of Nourished: A Search for Health, Happiness and a Full Night’s Sleep

    The touching stories, scripture applications, and clear practical advice create a can’t-put-down guide to a happier-ever-after relationship. I mean, really—your car, diet, hair roots, and pedicure need regular tune-ups; what about your marriage?

    —Debora M. Coty, humorist, speaker, and award-winning author of fourteen books including Too Loved to Be Lost and Too Blessed to Be Stressed

    "If you want a marriage full of genuine affection, read I Choose You Today. Deb DeArmond’s new book is biblically based and written with grace, inspiring readers to deeper commitment."

    —Cheri Fuller, author of The One Year Praying Through the Bible, What a Girl Needs From Her Mom, and other books

    "Every couple needs the wisdom found in I Choose You Today by Deb DeArmond. In a simple, easy-to-read format, DeArmond breaks down agape love into 31 choices spouses can make daily."

    —Jeanne Dennis, award-winning author, national speaker, and Wilberforce Forum Centurion

    Title page

    30835.png

    Copyright page

    I Choose You Today

    31 Choices to Make Love Last

    Copyright © 2015 by Deb DeArmond

    All rights reserved.

    No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted by the 1976 Copyright Act or in writing from the publisher. Requests for permission can be addressed to Permissions, The United Methodist Publishing House, P.O. Box 801, 201 Eighth Avenue South, Nashville, TN 37202-0801, or e-mailed to permissions@umpublishing.org.

    Throughout this book, releases have been secured whenever real names have been used, but in all other instances, names and identifying details have been changed—and sometimes composites were created—to protect the privacy of the actual individuals. While the story of the couple in chapter 7 is real, their names are fictitious, as the author was drawing from memory regarding a television documentary seen approximately fifteen years ago. Every attempt has been made to locate the source, but without success. If you have any information, please contact the publisher so that further details can be included in future printings.

    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

    ISBN 978-1-4267-9600-5

    Unless otherwise noted, scripture quotations are taken from the Common English Bible. Copyright © 2011 by the Common English Bible. All rights reserved. Used by permission. www.CommonEnglishBible.com.

    Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked NKJV™ are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotation marked AMP taken from the Amplified® Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

    Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    manufactured in the united states of america

    Contents

    Contents

    Introduction: It’s a Matter of Choice

    1. I Choose to Accept God’s Word as the Blueprint for Our Life

    2. I Choose to Pursue You

    3. I Choose to Love You

    4. I Choose to Bless You

    5. I Choose to Honor You

    6. I Choose to Keep My Commitment to You

    7. I Choose to Be Loyal to You

    8. I Choose to Trust You

    9. I Choose to Forgive You

    10. I Choose to Be Adaptable

    11. I Choose to Submit to You

    12. I Choose to Share Your Burdens

    13. I Choose to Serve You

    14. I Choose to Be Generous with You

    15. I Choose Intimacy with You

    16. I Choose to Keep Romance Alive

    17. I Choose to Stand in Agreement with You

    18. I Choose to Challenge You

    19. I Choose to Be Open and Honest with You

    20. I Choose to Listen to You

    21. I Choose to Laugh with You

    22. I Choose to Acknowledge You

    23. I Choose to Believe in You

    24. I Choose to Help You Achieve Your Dreams and Goals

    25. I Choose to Celebrate Your Success

    26. I Choose to Invest in You

    27. I Choose to Comfort You

    28. I Choose to Live in Peace with You

    29. I Choose to Support You

    30. I Choose to Pray for You

    31 I Choose to Prefer You

    Resources

    Banner Scriptures for Memory

    Additional Conventional Wisdom

    Acknowledgments

    Dedication

    For Jesus, because he chose me.

    Introduction: It’s a Matter of Choice

    introduction

    It’s a Matter of Choice

    There are times in life you make a commitment to something without fully understanding what that entails. Kind of a leap of faith, a let’s roll with the punches and hope for the best sort of deal. I’ve been there, and I’ll bet you have too.

    We recently returned from our annual family vacation. I mean the w-h-o-l-e family. Three adult sons, their wives (one of whom is pregnant), and two young grandsons. It involved a three-hour flight, one rented vacation house, two rental cars, and a huge amount of luggage. We did the beach and Disney and Universal Studios; some saw a Tonight Show taping while others headed to a concert in San Diego. We knew going into the week there might be some moments when we became frustrated or impatient with one another. As a family, we can be a bit dramatic, so we weren’t blindsided when it happened.

    But it was at sundown on the sands of Corona Del Mar that things took an unexpected turn . . .

    We engaged a talented young photographer to snap some family photos on the beach just as the sun was setting. Each son, his wife, and baby (one still hitching a ride in Mama’s tummy) took a place in front of the lens to capture a special moment at the edge of the Pacific.

    At last, my hubby and I stepped up to have our picture taken. The photographer positioned us, asked us to kiss, and then something odd happened . . . my husband took a knee. Literally, he fell to his knees in front of me. For a brief moment I thought to myself, Oh, Lord! He’s having a stroke! But I quickly realized my concern was misplaced when I saw him produce a beautiful ring box from his pocket.

    Would you do it all again with me? he asked. Would you still choose to marry me?

    I was stunned. The kids all stood nearby, whistling and clapping. Apparently, they had been in on the surprise. I was completely caught off guard, but I negotiated the lump in my throat and finally found my voice. Yes, sweetheart. I’d do it again. I still choose you.

    He beamed. I cried a little. Then I reached for the ring.

    He did good. Clearly, he had been taking notes as I browsed jewelry-store windows at the mall. It’s one of the things I love about this man: he has a giving heart. We finished the evening with a fabulous dinner on the beach in Laguna—one of my favorite places on the planet—surrounded by the 8.5 people most important to us.

    But the best part of the night for me came later, as we sat and talked about our evening.

    "What on

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