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Does a Ceo Sh*T in the Toilet?
Oleh Robert W. Draeger
Tindakan Buku
Mulai MembacaPanjangnya: 278 halaman2 jam
- Penerbit:
- iUniverse
- Dirilis:
- Mar 23, 2011
- ISBN:
- 9781462000258
- Format:
- Buku
Deskripsi
Making the transition from student to an ambitious, Im-going-succeed-at-going-to-the-executive-suite manager is difficult because the inherent nature of corporations. Organizations demand we sub-optimize our performance in our race to the top so the company can achieve it goals. The author who has climbed several major and many minor company pyramids shares over 200 coaching topics that explain how to succeed in what can be a crappy environment. More importantly, the mentoring tips put in plain words how to keep your integrity in your climb to the top of a corporate structure.
Tindakan Buku
Mulai MembacaInformasi Buku
Does a Ceo Sh*T in the Toilet?
Oleh Robert W. Draeger
Panjangnya: 278 halaman2 jam
Deskripsi
Making the transition from student to an ambitious, Im-going-succeed-at-going-to-the-executive-suite manager is difficult because the inherent nature of corporations. Organizations demand we sub-optimize our performance in our race to the top so the company can achieve it goals. The author who has climbed several major and many minor company pyramids shares over 200 coaching topics that explain how to succeed in what can be a crappy environment. More importantly, the mentoring tips put in plain words how to keep your integrity in your climb to the top of a corporate structure.
- Penerbit:
- iUniverse
- Dirilis:
- Mar 23, 2011
- ISBN:
- 9781462000258
- Format:
- Buku
Tentang penulis
Robert W. Draeger has spent his professional life teaching organizations new tools and ways of thinking so they can improve their chances to survive and prosper.
Bob has collected organizational insights while working for multiple companies in multiple industries. These have included: a timber company, a public transportation agency, an electronics firm, multiple software companies, engineering & construction companies, an operations & maintenance division of a Fortune 500 company, an industrial manufacturing firm, a government services firm and consulting.
Over the years, Bob has collected organizational insights while holding jobs in market research, software licensing, pricing, marketing management, strategic planning, sales management, general management, and consulting.
Bob has a BS degree from the University of Oregon and a MBA from Portland State University.
Bob has coauthored Managing The Silent Killer Of Businesses: How to Transition A Business Successfully Across Its Lifecycle.
Terkait dengan Does a Ceo Sh*T in the Toilet?
Pratinjau Buku
Does a Ceo Sh*T in the Toilet? - Robert W. Draeger
3/18/2011
Contents
Preface
Who Should Read This Book
How This Book Is Organized
Apologia
Dedication
Always Keep Your Humor Dry
Anthropology 302: Surviving In Primitive Cultures
Are You Sure Team
Isn’t Spelled With An I
?
Arrogance Of High Tech
Balancing $35 And I Will
Against Until Death Do Us Part
Because I Need The Cash, That’s Why
Beyond Urinate, To Urinine, To Perhaps, Urinten
Big Deal — Little Deal
Blowfish Defense
Bobbin’ For French Fries
Book A Ticket On The Radical Underground
Business Chemistry
Business Mantra
Campin’ Down By The Ol’ Revenue Stream
Can The Lunatics Run The Asylum?
Cash! Cash! Cash! All I Ever Get To Eat Is Cash!
CEO
Is An Ancient Acronym Meaning Please Lie To Me
Cereal Killers
Chicken-Manure Management
Coach, Should I Go Onto The Field Wearing My Helmet?
Coloring Within The Lines
Consensus
Is Not A Synonym For Communism
Consultant du Jour
Corporate Traps Can Hurt, So Be Careful About Putting Your Foot In Your Mouth
Creative Cat Skinning
Custard’s Last Stand
Dealing With An Unpleasant Task
Deciding Whether To Make The Decision To Decide
Democracy In Corporations
Depart Mental Humor
Did You Know You Were Spelling Bob
Backwards?
Do They Make These Bullets In Gold And Platinum?
Does A CEO Shit In The Toilet?
Don’t Cheetah Your Future: Lose The Fangs
Don’t Choose Jail Bait
Don’t Shed On Me
Don’t Speed Up The Darwinian Selection Process
Drug Testing Your Expectations To Determine If They Are Too High
Engineering Did It In The Accounting Department With A Cost Overrun
‘Ere’s To Plans
Exceeding Expectations And Other Fairy Tales
Files Are Rank
Firin’ The Whole
Fixing The Problem
Four Laws Of Marriage And Most Other Things
Friends Come And Go, But Enemies Accumulate
Frog Walkin’
Get ‘em Drunk And …
Getting Screwed On Your Honeymoon
Go Punch Out A Coke Machine. You’ll Feel Better
Go Ugly Early
Go Where You Want To Go,
Do What You Wanna Do
Great Atomic Balls of Fire
Great Wines And High-Potential People Just Get Better With Age
Guidance From Above
Had A Good Fantasy Lately?
Handicapped By Too Many IQ Points?
Have You Ever Had A Pet That Died Violently?
Having Your Assertion Sorely Tested
Headhunters: Would You Buy A Used Executive From This Man?
Home On The Emotional Range
Honesty As A Best Policy
How Low Can Your Standards Go?
How Many Letters Are In The Word Jail?
How To Repair A Meeting
How Would You Know If A Cat Has Alzheimer?
I Always Use The Right Tool For The Right Job
I Don’t Mean To Pry, But …
I Felt The Wool Being Pulled Over My …
I Got A Problem. Can You Relate?
I Want To Be In Sales Because I Like People!
I Wonder What The Poor People Are Doing?
I’ll Do It, If You Let Me Get Away With It
I’m Sorry, But It Was Your Rash
Imagine: Selling Into The Sunset
Imagine: You’re Too Drunk
In This Corner, Fighting For Market Research
Individual Policy
Innocents Abroad
Or Maybe Innocents A Guy
Is It Time To Change The Time?
Is My Glass A Third Full Or Two-Thirds Empty?
Is My Manager Half Smart Or Half Stupid?
It’s Not Polite To Ask Someone To Commit Suicide
It’s The Company, Stupid!
It’s Your Asphalt
I’ve Never Seen Him Hit A Vice President While Drunk
Keep It Wrinkled
Keeping The Fleas After You Get Rid Of The Dog
Let’s Go Hawg Racin’!
Let’s Play Insurance Company
Let’s Play Pin the Accountability On The Executive
Let’s Redesign The Big Red Button And See What Happens
Life Is Shitake, Then You …
Looking Up A Dead Dog’s Ass
Management — Doggy-Style
Management — Doggy-Style — Too
Management Ideas On Trampolines
Managing Idiots
Managing Indus Mess
Maybe Some Salty Pretzels Will Work
Maybe We’ll Settle For A Managerial Collection
Meetings — It’s What We Do — Then We Go And Wash Our Hands
Middle Management Vice
Monkeying With The Reward System
Motivating A Piñata By Beating It With A Stick Until It Produces
Mushroom School Of Management
Napoleon Jerked His …
Never Go To Bed With Anyone Crazier Than Yourself
Never Tell van Gogh How To Paint
Never Try To Send The Mules To The Glue Factory
Never Try To Work A Miracle Backwards
Nietzsche Is Pietzsche
No Joke. Just Speak The Unspeakable
No Management
Now That You Have Had Great Thoughts, Go Empty The Garbage
Of Course It’s Personal, It’s Business
Oh, To Be Bisexual!
OK, Atlas: Shrug This One Off
OK: I’ll Predict That Something Will Happen
OK: Pay Me Today And Pay Me Again Tomorrow
One Word: Consultants
Organizational Charts Are Like Bellybuttons
Ownership Continuum
Ownership — Own, Be Owned Or Die
Park It!
Paying The Executive, But Only If They Can Pipe
Penobscot, You Say?
Period, Paragraph
Pick What You Want To Be: A Mountain-man, A Pioneer Or A Settler
Please, Not More Of The Same
Plus Or Minus The Square Root Of A Brick
Price Of Divergent Thinking
Perfect Company
Profiting From A Misunderstanding
Psychic Income
Pull The Plug, I’m Done
Pushing A Dead Buick With Four Flat Tires
Put That In Your Pearl Harbor File
Results, Not Excuses
Right-Hand-Man, Lefty
Rumors Other Than Those By Fleetwood Mac
Scaling The Strawberry Shortcake
Selling Your Way To The Top
Send In The Managers: Performing In A Three-Ring Company
Sequence Is Important
Sign Of The Times
Six Stigma
Size Matters
Smokin’ Out The Profits
Soaring Salespeople
Souper Frog!
Speaking Glocally
Speaking Of The Elevator In The Sears Tower
Stall, Spin, Crash, Burn
Step Into My Conversation Pit
Stoved-Up But With A Fire In The Old Potbelly
Stump ‘em, Don’t Tree ‘em
Stupid Strategy Tricks
Success Is Subtle
Take A Stab At It
Take This Offer And … Return To Sender
Take Two Brownies And Call Me In The Morning
Technology Gone Bad
Telling The Tale
Terminal Stupidity Starts By Breaking The Rules Unnecessarily
Testing Your Alignment
Thank You, Sir! May I Have Another?
That’s Not What I Said
The Bad News Is That It’s The Dog’s Dinner
The Bad News Too
The Blind Leading The Nude
The Causal Manager
The Day Stealth Marketing Bombed
The Golden Boot
The Ultimate Hot Flash
There Ain’t No Bail Money In The Budget
There Are No Bells
Think Small, Grow Big
This Ain’t What I Was Taught In School
Three-D Vision
Throw ‘em In The Pool!
Time Out! Go To Your Cubicle!
To All The Jobs I’ve Left Behind
Too Much Understanding
Turning A Misdemeanor Into A Felony
Ug-Lee
Understanding Business
Compared To The Business
Up The River Styx Without A Paddle
Vacillating Between Child-Like And Childish Behavior
Voted Off
Walkabout
We All Can’t Be Superstars, But We Can All Be Prosperous
What Happened To My Hole?
Whatever Happened To Motherhood?
What’s The Probability Of An Employee Becoming An Existentialist?
When A Frog And A Princess Kiss, Do They French Kiss?
When A Superstar Fades
When Are They Going To Get Theirs?
When Superstars Nova
Why Not? We’re Probably Dead Anyhow
Winning DNA
Work Hard And You Will Have Worked Hard
Wrap A Few More Words Around It
Write Quickly, Edit Slowly
Write Stuff
You Deserve A Brick Today
You Gotta Know When To Show Up And When To Leave
You’ll Never Find A Luggage Rack On A Hearse
Preface
This book is not for those who merely want to survive in the crappy environment of Corporate America, but to for those who want to climb the slippery slope to the top of the pile in their company. If you have chosen to climb the corporate structure and as the hill continues to grow higher as the muck rains down, you will find yourself asking the question, Does a CEO Sh*t in the Toilet?
No one likes being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. That’s right! No one. Yet as we transition from being a student into the job world, we encounter an environment where our efforts are usually sub-optimized as our company attempts to achieve it goals by telling us what to do, when to do it and how to get the project done. Does a CEO Sh*t in the Toilet? contains insights on how to succeed as the crap continues to rain down upon us as managers up—and—down the organization determine our priorities, timelines, resources and the methodologies for getting the tasks completed.
In the good old days
this book wouldn’t have been needed. People commonly worked for only one company, in one industry, for their entire career. Companies had stable, proven processes for integrating people into the firm and assisting them throughout their careers. Companies with these processes and cultures are now as rare as doctors who make house calls.
Coaching and mentoring of employees in the traditional sense of building a long-term relationship where junior employees are taught the tricks to succeed died over a decade ago. Now, companies brag about their mentoring programs. What this usually means, is that an over-worked senior manager is told, You are accountable for Joe Bagofdonuts. Now, go make him successful.
These modern mentoring programs have all the warmth of a one-night-stand compared to a long-term successful marriage. With employee turnover approaching 25 percent per year, building long-term relationships in a stable environment where high potential people can get the coaching and mentoring they need is a thing of the past.
Does a CEO Sh*t in the Toilet? shares the insights and lessons taught to the author by people who have been successful in the turbulent world of Corporate America.
Think of Does a CEO Sh*t in the Toilet? as hundreds of coaching and mentoring tips that will minimize the probabilities that you will step in organizational manure or have unnecessary crap land on you from on high.
And for those of you that haven’t already guessed the answer posed by the title of the book, Yes
CEOs do shit in the toilet.
Who Should Read This Book
Anyone who is early in his or her career and is serious about moving into middle and senior management in mid-sized to large companies
Anyone who wants to know what it is like to live and work inside public and private companies.
Anyone who takes their job very seriously, but finds it difficult to take themselves very seriously.
Senior executives who want to enjoy the trials and tribulations of a fellow traveler.
Professors and government officials who have never known what it is like to climb the corporate structure in the private sector.
Really, anyone with the purchase price should buy this book.
How This Book Is Organized
The hundreds of topics in this book are presented in alphabetical order.
Besides giving me an opportunity to sing The Alphabet Song,
alphabetizing is a great way to organize complex nuggets of information where the relationships between the topics are extremely complex.
The alphabetical approach also has the added benefit of presenting the thoughts and observations in the same way I usually present them, that is, in random order.
Apologia
It has been said to copy from one is plagiarism, but to copy from many is research.
Most of the thoughts contained in this book are lessons I have learned from my many mentors, coaches, friends, colleagues and political enemies. In their sharing, they frequently did not cite chapter and verse where they learned the lesson that they were imparting to me. The information or concept was new to me and I have incorporated them into my belief set and management style. I have attempted to share these nuggets in my own words with my own wit and charm.
If I have inadvertently taken without giving credit and offended anyone, please accept my humble apology.
Dedication
To my wife, Sue;
To my parents, Walt and Prudy; and
To everyone else who has helped make me what I am today.
Always Keep Your Humor Dry
While it’s not a prerequisite for success, I have found the overwhelming majority of successful people have a wonderful sense of humor. They rarely take themselves seriously, but they always take their job very seriously.
There are two reasons why successful people have a sense of humor. First, it helps them relieve the pressure and think more clearly during stressful situations. Top performers, when under stress, flip from an intense focus on the problem at hand to a humorous remark or observation then flop back to focusing on the problem. The ability to interweave humor with intense focusing during times of stress allows them to survive and find optimal solutions.
Second, most humor is based on divergent thinking or at least thinking, outside-of-the-box.
The ability to look at the world from a ridiculous perspective helps in solving tough and complex problems by playing with potential solutions from unique perspectives.
I personally would like to excel at out-of-the-box thinking, if I could just figure out what a box
is. Okay, I’m trying to keep my humor dry, but all I can manage is to get it up to the juvenile level.
Anthropology 302: Surviving In Primitive Cultures
Taking a new job in a new company, and especially if it’s in an industry that is new to you, requires all the survival skills of an anthropologist going into the wilds of Borneo. The first step is to develop a friendship with someone who has been with the company and in the industry for a long time. They will be able to explain the curious
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