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Fart Book: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper! Banger! Farting Is Funny Comic Illustration Books For Kids With Short Moral Stories For Children: Fart Book Series, #1

Fart Book: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper! Banger! Farting Is Funny Comic Illustration Books For Kids With Short Moral Stories For Children: Fart Book Series, #1

Baca pratinjau

Fart Book: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper! Banger! Farting Is Funny Comic Illustration Books For Kids With Short Moral Stories For Children: Fart Book Series, #1

Panjangnya:
263 pages
1 hour
Penerbit:
Dirilis:
Jun 25, 2019
ISBN:
9781393217022
Format:
Buku

Deskripsi

Whether you're a "professional" butt-whistler...or simply can't resist impressing your friends every now and then with a face-melting fart...you'll laugh out loud at this hilarious book with dozens of amazing illustrations.

You (& Your Kids) Will Laugh Out Loud!

Learn from the master of bottom-burping disaster himself - Digo El Ninjo - as he demonstrates all 22 different kinds of farts (and the perfect situations to use them to your stinky advantage) like these:

The Wake Upper Popper
The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot
The Flying Carpet
The Backpack Burster
The Gasification In The Car
The Neighbour Detonator
The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism
The Lego Blower
The Eruption In The Chicken Coop
The Hand Stinker
The Marshmallow Shooter
and many more steamy bean blowing fart episodes


WARNING: Don't forget to check your shorts after you finish "The Fart Book"...because you'll laugh so hard you might be farting yourself for the rest of the day!

Penerbit:
Dirilis:
Jun 25, 2019
ISBN:
9781393217022
Format:
Buku

Tentang penulis


Pratinjau Buku

Fart Book - El Ninjo

Dad.

By El Ninjo

© Copyright 2014 by El Ninjo, FART BOOK: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper, Banger!

All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this book can be reproduced or distributed in any way without written permission of the author.

FART BOOK: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Banger! by El Ninjo

3

© 2014 by El Ninjo

THE WAKE UPPER POOPER............................................................................7

The Flying Carpet.....................................................................................38

The Backpack Burster..............................................................................62

The Garage Sale Box Slammer...............................................................75

The Sideway Grocery Bag Whiffer.........................................................94

The Couch Blaster..................................................................................101

The Neighbor Detonator........................................................................107

The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism.............................115

The Sand Storm Exploder......................................................................123

The Invisible Electric Fence Destroyer...............................................135

The Delivery Boy Truck Detonator.......................................................156

The Hoover Popper.................................................................................167

The Stinky Tsunami................................................................................184

The Lego Blower.....................................................................................200

The Hand Stinker....................................................................................208

The Marshmallow Shooter....................................................................224

The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper......................................................237

The Pillow Eruption................................................................................250

Gas Eruption In The Chicken Coop......................................................259

The Domino Bomber End.......................................................................272

Updates....................................................................................................277

New Releases..........................................................................................280

The Wake Upper Pooper

Some people call me fart puppy and run away when I come along. My family members still support my natural smelly talent and call me lovely names like the butt whistler.

I guess that I am a natural talent. It probably has something to do with my genes. I am born like this, and I remember that my first

significant explosion happened right after I saw the light of day.

I am just happy that my family has accepted the way that I am expressing myself, and this is all I care about.

I am not saying that I am the best and most genius fart blower out there, and I know for a fact that I am far from the master league. There are other puppys out there that are the true maestros in farting.

These puppies are what I call the one puppy orchestra, and you can pretty much compare their sound and smell to an unbearably loud and gasifying explosion.

I guess these kinds of puppies are seriously starting to scare off not only the people around them in the society but also their own family members.

I am more of the less extreme puppy farter, but I still enjoy my out of this world natural talent

for the more classic and traditional types of smelly and vapor type cloud shots.

Yes, if I do not approve of weird stuff going on around me, I will shoot my gas at everything around me.

In the morning, I like to get started with the most straightforward and easy to follow classic gas shot that goes straight into Mom's nose as she lifts up my cover and tries to get me out of my sleeping basket.

In my book, this is the easiest move and even the more clumsy puppies can do the wake upper pooper.

Heck, no matter if you are a super natural talent like me or just a beginner there is not much to it. Just copy this straight upward fart also called the wake upper pooper and place it straight into your Mom's face.

I have branded this one with the name the wake upper pooper because it is not the usual dry fart cloud.

No, the real wake upper pooper is one that has lots of potential, and you can produce this hot steamy bean stinking pooper cloud by eating some beans before going to sleep.

I mean it! Beans are the success ingredient for the wake upper pooper, and they always do the trick to get an extra steamy and poopy result.

All you have to do in order to make this poopy upward shot perfectly is the following:

Step 1:

For an extreme and steamy effect: eat some beans before bedtime.

Step 2:

Next, get on your front feet and try to inhale as much air as you can.

Step 3:

Stick out your gassy bottom in the direction of your victim.

Step 4:

Keep your balance on the front and stretch your bottom upwards and towards the goal.

Step 5:

Concentrate and shoot out the hot steamy and poopy air in an upward direction so that it hits your victim straight in the face.

Step 6:

Try to respect an almost 90 degree angle because this allows for a nice and precise shot.

You can of course get more sneaky as you go, and you can get this down to a science.

The thing is to get the ball rolling and getting better at this every morning.

You certainly can use the wake upper pooper shot in other situations during your day and it is of course more fun to try this on family members who do not know this trick yet.

If you do it as instructed above, they won't know what hit 'em!

Heck, to make this extremely sneaky wait until you get dressed from your Mom and let her take you to the supermarket or the grocery store.

Choose your victim wisely and once you found the perfect position blast the upward shot directly at them.

In this case, it is not truly the traditional wake upper pooper, but you can come up with some other cool names like the supermarket hitter or the shopping cracker. Knock yourself out with this one!

The people at the supermarket sure won't know what hit 'em, and I assure you that I have never ripped my pants (even the tightest ones that I hate because they do not give me enough squeezing room!) when doing the supermarket hitter.

If you do as I am explaining, you will not tear your pants with this one. It is a good starter for the day and this one is for sure going to make you some friends.

Well, once you get into the habit of spotting some other puppys that love doing the straight upward shot in the supermarket, at the bakery, or at the butcher make sure to say hello because these are going to be your friends for life.

The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot

While Mom is still freshening up from the previous fart accident, I have already taken my position under the lovely prepared breakfast table.

The other family members are already enjoying their yummy breakfast, and I am already sitting under the breakfast table.

I guess the beans from dinner are still doing a good job on me, and I suddenly can feel some gassy energy building up in my tummy.

To make this even more fun wait until all the family members are present and the deliciously smelling eggs n'bacon are put on the table.

By the way, the breakfast table shot is a variation of the wake upper pooper so there you have a real example of how you can add variety to the first one.

Take a quick and deep breath of air and blow a huge gassy cloud of your own matter up against the breakfast table from down under the table.

It is not hard to do. The only thing you really have to concentrate hard on is the clenching of your teeth while your gassy bottom is releasing the sweetest rotten smelling clouds.

You will hear a very familiar sound once the stinky rotten cloud are touching their nostrils. When you hear your loved ones scream in disgust, you will know that the straight up breakfast table shot has worked like magic!

The key to the breakfast table shot is to eat as many Mexican beans as possible so that you can produce an extra sweet and steamy series of fart clouds.

Keep it as natural as you can because your family is going to love the extra sweat smell that comes from the beans. It kind of adds an extra delicious fragrance to their breakfast eggs.

The High Street Smasher

Let me tell you about a recent trip to London that I will never forget about.

It all started when Dad had to go to London for a business trip. The firm invited Dad to stay at one of the chic London city hotels to conduct business during the weekend.

Dad likes family trips, so he bought tickets for the whole family. This is how this whole business-shopping trip got started.

I guess this is how the modern world works. International business men like Dad are flying around the world to places like New York, London, Tokyo, and Paris, turning their business priority into a trip of pleasure. In

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