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    Trump Wins/ Dems Lose!: The 2020 Republican Jokebook
    Trump Wins/ Dems Lose!: The 2020 Republican Jokebook
    Trump Wins/ Dems Lose!: The 2020 Republican Jokebook
    Ebook63 pages24 minutes

    Trump Wins/ Dems Lose!: The 2020 Republican Jokebook

    By Scott Sams

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    About this ebook

    "Pure fun, and it's about time! Filled with 'one liners' about Democrats similar to the proliferation of barbs Democrats shoot at Republicans, BUT pretty much lacking in mean spiritedness!" - Ray Raines, President, Tea Party of Huntington Beach, California.

    DO YOU LIKE TO LAUGH? Like pro-Trump, pro-Republican, clean humor?

    Better yet, do you want to be the person who keeps your conservative friends and family LAUGHING OUT LOUD!?
    .
    The 2020 election campaign has begun, and here is the best pro-Trump, pro-Republican joke book! Featuring hundreds of jokes on topics such as Nancy Pelosi, Obama, Hillary, infighting among Dems, the Democratic candidates, favorite bumper stickers, the differences between Republicans and Democrats, future bestsellers by Democrats, and funny jokes about how Democrats are lazy or dumb or just plain wrong, this book is a MUST HAVE for Trump fans this election season!
    .
    The author is a 36 year veteran comedy writer who's books have sold millions. A Libertarian, he is upset there is little conservative humor on late-night comedy shows. He wants to change that, and show with this book that Republicans can be funny! No guarantees, but we are doing everything we can to get a copy to the President, who hopefully will get the word out to his 66 million Twitter fans.
    .
    Sample Jokes:
    Favorite ways of getting rich:
    Republicans: Spending less than they earn and saving and investing the rest. Building a business with hard work and long hours.
    Democrats: Winning the lottery. Suing for personal injuries
    .
    It was so cold in Vermont this year I saw Democrats with their hands in their own pockets!
    ·
    How are the Democratic candidates like Santa Claus?
    You want to believe in them but you just can't.
    .
    How do we know Lois Lane was a Democrat?
    Because she's always looking for someone to save her.
    .
    Favorite Pastimes:
    Democrats: Spending other people's money.
    Republicans: Making money.
    .
    Favorite Occupations:
    Democrats: Dog walkers, Uber drivers, Hug Therapists, Temps
    Republicans: Police, Firemen, Soldiers, Executives
    .
    Buy this book now and get started laughing!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherScott Sams
    Release dateSep 25, 2019
    ISBN9780463792872
    Trump Wins/ Dems Lose!: The 2020 Republican Jokebook
    Author

    Scott Sams

    Scott Sams is the pen name of a 36 year veteran comedy writer who's books have sold millions. A Libertarian, he is upset there is little conservative humor on late-night comedy shows. He wants to change that, and show with this book that Republicans can be funny! He uses a pen name to preserve his privacy, and doesn't do interviews because, while he writes funny, he's not good at telling jokes. Fortunately, he is ably represented by a Vietnam vet-friend who became a comedian and has performed all over the world.

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      Book preview

      Trump Wins/ Dems Lose! - Scott Sams

      DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS

      Party Symbol:

      Republicans: The elephant, one of the largest and most powerful creatures on earth.

      Democrats: A jackass.

      Favorite Drink:

      Democrats: Imported water from Fiji

      Republicans: Beer

      Favorite Diet:

      Democrats: Sushi, tofu, gluten-free, raw vegetables.

      Republicans: Burgers, Steak and potatoes.

      Favorite Pastimes:

      Democrats: Spending other people’s money

      Republicans: Making money

      Favorite Occupations:

      Democrats: Dog walkers, Uber drivers, Hug Therapists, Trade Unionists, Temps

      Republicans: Police, Firemen, Soldiers, Executives

      Favorite Smoke:

      Democrats: Pot

      Republicans: Cigars

      Favorite Initials:

      Democrats: COD, NPR, DACA, AWOL, NARAL, ACLU, LBGTQ

      Republicans: MAGA, NRA, FOX, NFL, CEO

      Favorite Heroes:

      Democrats: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Obama, Clinton, Hillary, Nancy Pelosi, Jimmy Kimmel, Bernie, Alec Baldwin, Whoopie Goldberg

      Republicans: President Ronald Reagan, President Trump, General Dwight David Eisenhower, President George HW Bush

      One more: General George Patton, U.S. Army, one of the most successful field commanders in history, wrote, "Politicians are the lowest life form on earth. Liberal Democrats are the lowest form of Politician."

      Favorite Ways of Getting Rich:

      Democrats: Winning the lottery. Suing for personal injuries

      Republicans: Spending less than they earn and saving and investing the rest. Building a business with hard work and long hours.

      Favorite Songs:

      Republicans: God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood:

      ...And I’m proud to be an American

      Where at least I know I’m free.

      And I won’t forget the men who died

      Who gave that right to me...

      Democrats: No Justice, No Peace by Unknown:

      No justice, no peace.

      No justice, no peace.

      No justice, no peace.

      ad infinitum

      PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP

      OR...WHY ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK!

      Q: Why is Donald Trump the perfect leader for the Republican Party, a party whose symbol is an elephant?

      A: Like the elephant, he is big, bold, a bit unpredictable, roars a lot-You’d be better off staying out of his way!

      Trump draws large crowds everywhere he goes. The Democrats don’t, yet they claim they represent the American people! They call themselves the Resistance, but all they’re really resisting is the will of the American

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