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Tea, Tisane and a Load of Old Tosh: Observations of Modern Life

Tea, Tisane and a Load of Old Tosh: Observations of Modern Life

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Tea, Tisane and a Load of Old Tosh: Observations of Modern Life

Panjangnya:
96 pages
52 minutes
Dirilis:
Jan 31, 2019
ISBN:
9781528944724
Format:
Buku

Deskripsi

Have you ever stood in an endless queue in a coffee shop, waiting for your lukewarm cup of decorated froth and asked yourself why?

Have you ever wandered through the aisles of a home and design store asking yourself why? Why do they
want me to decorate my house like a beach hut or Parisian Boudoir; or want me to put up plaques of house rules or toilet rules?

Ever been inspired to bake an inevitably awful cake after watching one of the many cooking-made-easy TV shows...and failed horribly?

This book is a journey through the maze of modern life, told by someone trying to answer life’s great questions including: what can Mindfulness do for me, and
what exactly is the attraction of a Chai Latte?

To be honest, it’s all Tea, Tisane and a Load of Old Tosh!
Dirilis:
Jan 31, 2019
ISBN:
9781528944724
Format:
Buku

Tentang penulis

John Dixon decided to write poetry as an outlet for recording his first-hand experiences and observations of modern daily life. In this, his first book, he tackles subjects such as coffee culture, interior design, formula TV and Sunday morning cookery shows. John lives with his long-suffering family in Bedfordshire.

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Tea, Tisane and a Load of Old Tosh - John Dixon

About the Author

John Dixon decided to write poetry as an outlet for recording his first-hand experiences and observations of modern daily life. In this, his first book, he tackles subjects such as coffee culture, interior design, formula TV and Sunday morning cookery shows. John lives with his long-suffering family in Bedfordshire.

Dedication

To Lucy, Emma and Peter.

John Dixon

________________________________________

Tea, Tisane and a Load of Old Tosh

Observations of Modern Life

Copyright Information

Copyright © John Dixon (2019)

The right of John Dixon to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781788484220 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781788484237 (Hardback)

ISBN 9781788484244 (E-Book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published (2019)

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd

25 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5LQ

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my family and friends for encouraging and humouring me through this journey.

Introduction

Definition of Moaning: To complain or grumble, typically about something trivial.

I have been asked many times why I moan so much. Is it the classic middle-age-man stereotype, the grumpy old man? Men are always accused of moaning about trivial things. Is it just a sort of midlife crisis? If it was a midlife crisis, I would have bought a dog or a motorbike, or started wearing shorts and sandals in the middle of winter. Neither of those; in fact, I am a very positive person. To me, moaning is just a reaction to what is going on around me. It is my frustration at the general dumbing down of life, from education through to how people use their leisure time. Why do people find it acceptable to walk around shops with coffee-to-go mugs or acceptable to go shopping with their pyjamas on? Our dictionary now includes words such as onesie and spiralizer, two of the most pointless things ever invented. We pay more than ever before for our TV entertainment but there is no improvement in quality, only quantity. What improvement has there been since we had three channels that only broadcast during the day?

I started writing my observations down as poetry after my daughter suggested that I channel my moaning into something constructive. I now see things that I would normally moan about as opportunities. A visit to well-known high street frippery shops or the start of a new format TV reality series is not time lost forever but an opportunity to find new material.

So, welcome to my observations, in which I would like to take the reader on an adventure through the wastefulness and weariness of life in this fast-paced world. I have shared in these pages not only some of my greatest moans, but also some of my general observations of life. Writing my thoughts down has been a great relief. Indeed, through this journey, I have relieved myself many times.

I would like to thank all those who have encouraged me on this quest and who have given me renewed vigour to carry on moaning when I have felt I cannot moan anymore. To you I dedicate this volume. As all the plaques on the wall say, this venture is not a destination but a journey.

Thank you for reading these pages, I hope you enjoy them.

All quoted scents, phrases and words used in the following pages are not fictional but taken from actual examples of available shite.

I Will Say This Only Once (Because Twice Is a Repeat)

The idea for this comment came about as I was browsing through my mother’s TV-schedule pullout from a Saturday paper. I could not help but start to count the repeats that were being shown, and in some cases, the repeats were of a show broadcast only three days before. The number of repeats was very high but there

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