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Democratic National Convention Schedule 4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony 4:05 PM Singing of "God Damn America" led

by Rev. Jeremiah Wright 4:10 PM Pledge of Allegiance to Obama 4:14 PM Reading the 6 Commandments led By Chas Schumer 4:15 PM Ceremonial 'I Am Learning to Be Proud of America ' led by Michelle Obama 4:30 PM Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire - Hillary Clinton 4:45 PM Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire" 4:49 PM Fund Raising - John Edwards 5:00 PM UFO Abduction Survival, Joe Biden 5:30 PM Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite 5:45 PM Tribute to All 57 States "Occupier Choir" 5:50 PM How I Invented The Interenet and Global Warming A. Gore 6:00 PM Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer 8:30 PM Airing of Grievances by the Clintons 9:00 PM Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl 9:05 PM Real Estate Tips Barney Frank 9:15 PM Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo, Michael Moore 9:45 PM Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangle

10:00 PM Denunciation of THE N.R.A.. Barbara Boxer 10:15 PM Fund Raising Tips George Clooney 10:30 PM Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan 11:00 PM Obama Energy Plan Symposium/tire gauge Demonstration 11:15 PM 'Free Gov. Blagowitcz' rally 11:20 PM How I Killed Bin Laden - Barack Hussein Obama 11:30 PM Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards 11:45 PM Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish Obama Presiding 12:00 AM Official Nomination of Obama - Bill Mahre 12:01 AM Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior 12:05 AM Celestial Choirs Sing 3:00 AM Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech Note: There is one omission in the list above Memorial recognition of Obama's surrogate Son, Trayvon, will be in conjunction with the 12:05 AM event. OPTION: Closing with a Declaration of War on the rich, to Be decided just before the Convention