1 Rolon Ashley Rolon SEDC 451 Student Impact Paper Introduction The students I chose for this assignment

are all in the second period 12th grade English class I taught as a student teacher in a vocational art school in Manhattan's Midtown East neighborhood. All of the students are commuter students who come from virtually every borough in New York City. The class I taught had 34 students, 2 of which were IEP students, 7 who were former English Language Learners, and 1 student in ESL classes. The class was a drama focused class, which centered on play study and analysis, and performance projects after play readings. During my student teaching semester, I chose to focus on the organization of knowledge in writing and speaking, through discussion and writing prompts in class, and extended period writing homework. When thinking about an assessment to explore for this project, I decided to choose one of great importance to senior high school students; the college essay. We worked on the essays extensively for the first marking period, and most of the class seemed heavily invested in their work. The initial essay attached is actually the third and final draft for their marking period grade. For the chosen students, Mona, Mary, and Joan, I wanted to measure the outcome of working with them individually, outside of the class period, to see how the attention impacted them. I have included some of the materials used to get to the point of a third draft, such as rubrics, topic question starters, and resources for encouragement. Mona Mona is a student in my second period English class. Through observation of her behavior in class I saw that she was highly motivated and engaged. She attended class regularly and as soon as the bell rang she would take advantage of the 4 minute interim and talk with me or ask questions about homework. Her essays and work placed her at the top of the class. Some

2 Rolon examples of her work have been posted around the classroom as a model of excellent work. Mona was the first to take advantage of the "office hours" I offered to work on college essays and homework. This led to our first conference about her personal statement. Mona came during her lunch period for our initial session. We began by discussing what she wrote in her first college essay. She wants to attend either the School of Visual Arts or the Fashion Institute of Technology to study cartooning. After asking what her essay was arguing, I explained that I would look for examples that show her argument as I read aloud. I began to read as I thought aloud to show how I was assessing and responding to her writing. Cris Tovani supports this strategy when she says, "Mental modeling is an even better way to help students understand how good readers comprehend text. When teachers make invisible mental processes visible, they arm young readers with powerful weapons." She also acknowledges that "good readers engage in mental processes before, during, and after they read in order to comprehend texts." (27) This provided time to ask questions, and praise and critique her writing. Her introduction sentence was an attention getter, which created a sense of tension and curiosity to find out what happened next. I circled some of the words she chose and asked her to consider different ones to create a stronger message. For example, the word "got" was replaced with "made" in the second draft. I then circled it again during the second session and asked her to consider how "motivated" "made" and "got" changed the impression of her sentence. As we finished the introduction we came to the conclusion that the topic of the paragraph and essay was how she was able to gain confidence in herself through an art project. I noticed that Mona did not provide enough information about the art project in her essay. So her assignment before our next meeting was to write down as much as she could about her art project and to expand on her ideas. I provided questions that could guide her writing to ensure

3 Rolon that she included important minor details. Something we also spoke about was her confidence, which she mentions in her essay. Self confidence translates to self efficacy in academic work, especially for an artist. In "Literacy for Real" Releah quotes Donna Alvermann when she says, "It is evident that students with high self-efficacy-the confidence that they have the capacity to produce a desired effect-are more likely to engage in school-related reading than students with low self-efficacy." (82) Now, while Monica is highly engaged in her academics, she struggles with her artistic efficacy, and is therefore vulnerable. In response to Monica's apprehensions about sharing her artwork and making new friends in college because of her shyness, I took a moment to encourage her and praise her for her effort and accomplishments. During our next session Mona read her essay to me line by line, with me following along. As we read I commented on strengths and circled some phrases and words that needed improvement. She provided more information about her project and explained her process. I asked her to rewrite the conclusion once she had her other ideas focused. If I had the chance to work with her longer I would ask her to work on short stories because she enjoys focusing on characters and creating a narrative. I explained Mona's interest in cartooning to my CT who thought that we could incorporate graphic novels into the class. We created an extra credit assignment for students to write a short graphic story about Hamlet. I recommended some young adult graphic novels such as Maus, Persepolis, and American Born Chinese to reference the style, and to offer independent reading choices to students. Groenke and Scherff believe that they are "sophisticated, complex works worthy of our attention and whole class instruction" (117) Mary Mary is also a student in my second period English class, and is one who struggles with writing. She was transferred to my class from the ninth period class my Cooperating Teacher taught after the 5th week of school. Through my observation and interaction with the ninth

4 Rolon period class, I noticed that she often missed class. After Mary was transferred she came to class more often and engaged in discussion and activities. I assessed early on that she needed more assistance with her writing. She did poorly on her first writing exam and on the midterm because her essay did not address all aspects of the prompt. A large issue she has trouble with is grammar and fragment sentences. Despite her writing troubles she expressed that she wants to improve her communication and build good habits for college. When Mary came into my class she had already worked on an essay with my CT and another English teacher, but expressed that she wished to change her mind. Her first essay was written with the intent of applying to an Interior Design program, and was very revealing of her headstrong, take charge personality. However, she wanted to write about her mother and explain how she learned from her, and also how her mother influenced her steadfast personality. She has learned on her own and from her mother, who has been a constant force and guide in her life. Mary explained that she wanted me to help her begin the essay with an outline of what is most important to write about. Using the rubric the class was assigned for their essays, I asked her to include in her introduction the most important things she wanted to say about her mother. She then read a quote by Abraham Lincoln, which she includes in her essay, followed by a list of many of her mother's best qualities. After introducing her mother she would have to arrive at her main point and provide a thesis for the reader to learn more about her. In her body paragraphs she wanted to talk about school and personal teen issues she went through, and how that created conflict and power struggles between her and her mother. I then recommended that she focus another body paragraph on a specific issue and how she overcame it. Her conclusion would then tie in the different aspects of her story and leave a lasting impression that she is a young woman aware of herself and what she can accomplish in the world.

5 Rolon After reading the essay she wrote, I was pretty impressed. She was able to articulate the affect her mother has on her and discuss, without detail that seems negative, how she was able to take responsibility for the conflict she created with her mother. As for her writing, she needs continued practice to help her writing skills, but has come in many times to ask me to help her with sentence structure and minor details. I had to explain to her that she needs to put a comma before a conjunction. In our session we worked on her conclusion together so that she could understand how the conclusion wraps up an essay by highlighting the important topics and the values she holds because of her challenges. I noticed that once we began our meetings she became more invested in the class. When she missed a class she would come by later in the day to find out what was missed and to catch up on homework assignments. This shows me that she is ready for take responsibility for the work she will have to do in college. Greater practice is needed to help her obtain the skills needed to effectively create a written piece. In "Literacy for Real" critical thinkers are described as people who "use logic to solve problems by clarifying, considering the viability of alternative solutions, and setting steps to solve the problem." (74) If I could work with Mary again and for a longer duration, I would help her organize of her thoughts and create steps for a solution using outlines and charts. I would also work on essay revision to provide continued practice. Joan Joan is as an average student who has some difficulty comprehending complex texts and writing with varied vocabulary. She is a former English Language Learner whose parents speak limited English. From the start of the semester she was reluctant to do work. I was able to take the time in the beginning of the semester to sit with her and another student to ask them questions about topics to write an essay about. This led to her revealing a major artistic and personal challenge she faced her junior year, which was creating a self portrait. I took the time to

6 Rolon tell her about my professional and personal challenge of being a new teacher in the classroom, and made the point that we are going to make mistakes doing something new, but that the purpose was to see what we can do and learn from our shortcomings. I encouraged her to begin writing her essay about her self portrait art project. Through the many drafts she expressed trouble with sentence structure. I noticed that she wrote as she spoke, and that we would have to work on transferring her thoughts to paper with greater sophistication. Our first session helped me learn more about Joan. She told me that she wants to apply for Environment Science programs and realizes that it is a research oriented field of study. I assessed that a challenge for her would be to strengthen her skills and also to build her confidence. I commented that she wrote with a doubtful tone, and that her tone revealed a lack confidence in herself. She then explained that she has trouble accepting criticism of her artwork. As she read her essay aloud she mentioned that she was repetitive, and pointed out that she wrote "things" three times in one sentence. This showed me that she had difficulty articulating exactly what "things" were so hard for her to understand as she grew up. I suggested that she remove the beginning of her first body paragraph, which talked about loving animals and art because she did not explore this topic in her essay. After explaining that a writer has to be aware of their audience, in this case a college director, she agreed that it would be best to remove the first two sentences. We then worked on finding new words or phrases for the circled words. I practiced reading her sentences aloud to her and then asking her if she felt anything was incomplete or confusing. She noticed in the sentence "The task was to take a self portrait and pick out two colors to use in 4 sets of pieces you will do" that the tense changed and the phrase "you will do" did not seem to fit.

7 Rolon The most important thing Joan had to work on was the process of creating her portrait. As she explained the process to me I wrote down notes on her essay under "Things to Add" so that she would remember to show the positive aspects of herself and all of the important things she did to help her project reach her standards. When we met again, I noticed that her revision was stronger than her initial essay draft. If I could continue working with the Joan, I would suggest more independent reading to expand her vocabulary. She is interested in art and is a young adult so I think that books of high interest will address some of these issues. They would be paired with summary and structural activities to analysis and extended responses to help her understand "that texts have multiple meanings with varying perspectives based on an author's intent and motives" (Lent 74). In class I would create lessons that focus on word meaning and activities to practice using new vocabulary in writing. To address this issue with the class I would want to structure classes to model reading fluency, from me explaining words and passages, to them explaining to each other, to them reading independently for comprehension. Conclusion Laura Baecher says, "Teachers need to draw attention to the structure of English language used in specific academic contexts and provide appropriate feedback that ELLs can use to further their oral and written academic language development" (65). I believe that tutoring was one step in the process of helping students learn to use language effectively. The students still need continued practice manipulating language to strengthen their ability to think and write at the college level. In the class I have attempted to help students use language by having them explore the connotation and denotations of words used by Shakespeare in Hamlet and then rewrite speeches in their own words.

8 Rolon I have an understanding that teaching responsively means that students are all pushed to their highest learning level. The three students I worked with were of different skill level when it came to writing and communicating, however they were all challenged to push themselves to a level above their comfort zone. Being responsive according to Laura Baecher, "also involves an awareness of how materials, texts, or activities may pose comprehension difficulties for the nonnative student", and students of all abilities for that matter. I found that working on the college essay helped to address writing issues, such as organizing a sentence, and structuring a paragraph, and to address personal development. These students all expressed that they needed help with things that were beyond the classroom, and this was a great way to build rapport with them. I have become very close with students after getting to know them in the classroom, and after school. I spent some time with my CT, who directs the drama club, and was able to talk to my students who were members in a different context. Upon leaving the classroom I felt that I could have spent the rest of the year to scaffold writing projects and to focus of the structure of language in different forms, such as research papers, news articles, college level thesis papers, in the creative forms of short story, and poetry. Working with these students and the class overall has solidified the most important thing about being a teacher, which is helping a student learn the art of communication. Works Cited Baecher, Laura. (2011). Differentiated Instruction for English Language Learners: Strategies for the Secondary English Teacher. Wisconsin English Journal, Volume 53, Number 2, 64-73 Groenke, Susan. Lisa Scherff. 2010. Teaching YA Lit through Differentiated Instruction. Exploring Biography Graphic Novel Style. Urbana, Illinois: NCTE. Lent, ReLeah Cossett. 2009. Literacy for Real: Reading, Thinking, and Learning in the Content Areas. Chapter 6: Reading and Thinking Critically. New York: Teachers College Press. Tovani, Cris. 2000. I Read It, but I Dont Get It. Portland, Maine: Stenhouse Publishers.

9 Rolon Appendix Essay Outline

10 Rolon Essay advice

11 Rolon Essay peer/self check

12 Rolon Model Essay

13 Rolon College Essay 3rd Draft Rubric Name:__________________ Period:__________________ Attention Getter: 10 Points

Essay Structure: Before/Past, During/Present, After/Future 60 Points

Descriptive Language: 10 points

Description of the Writer: 10 points

Grammar/Spelling: 5 Points

Overall Effectiveness: 5 Points

14 Rolon Mona Initial Essay

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16 Rolon Mona Revised Essay

17 Rolon Mary Draft Essay: Created during the essay drafting process in class
October 12, 2012

Going into the High School of Art and Design, my mind was focused on majoring in architecture. I had dreams on some day being able to build my own home. From closets, to the bathrooms, from the designs to the floor plans. I had it all planned out on what i wanted for myself. It made me more motivated on wanting to give people their dream home. I was ready for the competition, ready to explore the field beyond my dreams. Junior year spring semester assignment changed my outlook on architecture and where I would see myself four years from now. A competition to redevelop the Department of Sanitation Marine transfer, located on the Hudson River on W 135 street in New York City. It's goal was to offer an opportunity to engage the local community with the waterfront and to be beneficial to the public .One of the major operations was to transform it into a nutritious environment. The project focused on the building design, the purpose of the building, on the transportation, and making NYC residents more healthy in the near by community. As group leader I choose to name our building BMS, which stands for feeding the "body, mind and soul". We broke our building up into sections according to our building name. By feeding the body we focused on creating an organic market, healthy buffet and places to exercise. By feeding the mind, we focus on wanting to inform people on how to become healthy, giving how-to's on growing vegetables, setting up learning workshops, and building a library. By feeding the soul, we focused on how to attract people to our building and the waterfront. Having activities in which the community can become more involved with , enjoy and feel welcome to. Each floor in BMS had a purpose in how to make the community a more nutrient environment . My task for this project was to be the leader of my group. At first I wanted to create the floor plans but my group decide for me to take on the interior design part. I wasn't excited about doing it but knew it had to be done. I had to first lay out what was going to be located on what floor, how it would be located and the purpose behind the location. I decide to locate a recreation center, yoga classes, and dance classes on the first floor. Alone with a luxurious modern lobby with two cylinder elevators. The second floor will be Educational Base, where classrooms would be located, workshops, educational playrooms and study rooms. The third will have an organic market and greenhouse. A place in which people can go and relax at.

Making BMS, as in powering and attracting to the community was a difficult task. Being the leader of my group, I had to make sure everyone was doing their part that I assigned. Deadlines had to be met, corrections and improvements had to be made and of course a final perfect product had to be the outcome. Even with all the flaws and mistake each member did we helped each other to correct it and make it better. And of course once my group was done with the building design, floor plans, elevations, and the boardwalk layout, the flash drive went missing. It was challenging to start all over, to be able to remember all of our ideas from the placement of everything , to the purpose behind it , and unique ideas no other group had. As group leader, I had to set up a time we can all meet in order to redo everything. Starting all over made the group more into the task then ever, wanting to win the competition more than ever , to make sure everything was done right and even better the second time around. The building design was changed, with that came along changes on everything else. Even though we had to start all over, a more accurate and attractive plan came out. Throughout the project, being that I was in charge of the interior part I grew to enjoy the idea of it. Why I choose to locate things in a certain section, why I choose certain colors, materials and sizes. I started thinking to myself maybe I do this better than architecture. Both go hand in hand with each and are the same field. I thought back to the interior design projects I did throughout the years. I enjoy doing all, and was into the reason I choose which colors, materials, shape, and design. I now wanted to explore the interior design department more. In my three years of being in High School, architecture has made me a well rounded person in all aspects and discover where I really wanted to see myself four years from now, and that was majoring in Interior Design

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Mary Initial Essay: During tutoring session

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Mary Revised Essay

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Joan Initial Essay

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Joan Revised Draft: Email Copy As a child, growing up was easy. Homework was just coloring and tracing letters and numbers, I was good at that. As I grew older things got harder, work got harder. I remember telling my mother I couldnt do anything because I was so frustrated when it came to understanding matters and subjects. She would always tell me that, Nothing is ever too hard or too easy. It is always good to accept a challenge; because the better you learn the harder you work the better it will pay off. When it came to art, I was always interested in the little things, the minor things that did not stand out to people always stood out to me, emotionally. I was always fascinated with capturing the beauty of anything I saw. Instead of drawing from reality, I drew unrealistically, and followed my imagination. I never really followed the rules where shading was always essential. I never really took art classes either, which made me different amongst students who were much more progressed in the arts then I was. However, I didnt mind, I liked that I was different. I never gave up when it came to something I loved doing because just like my mother told me, nothing is ever too hard or too easy. I used to read a lot, many of my creations came out from the books Ive read. I was so into both reading and creating new ideas that I started to draw stories. Everyone in my family complained because I used to carry around stacks of papers around with me and boy, was I a mess. The creases of my fingers and my arms would be dark from leaning on my drawings and sketching too dark. Over the years As I practiced, my pieces improved never thought there was more to art then your own imagination, to be quite honest, until I began high school.

24 Rolon Now I am a senior at the ----, which is a school for the arts. Due to my lack of experience I had trouble in my art classes because everyone else was so advanced. However, I tried and until this day I put all my effort into my pieces. By my third year I experienced or learned many different skills and techniques in the arts that I never knew existed. I remember in my junior years illustration class there was an assignment that stood out to me the most: an Andy Warhol inspired self-portrait. The task was to create a selfportrait and pick out two colors to use in 4 sets of pieces. I had to create the 1st draft, and once I was finished, I transferred it on to Bristol paper, specific paper used for water color, where the I began painting. I chose green and black, I thought black a good idea because it was bold which made it pop out against the green. This project was most challenging to me because I personally never worked on painting or drawing realistically, let alone my own face. I was very nervous about and I told myself I wouldnt give up over and over again. Despite this, I felt doubtful of my skills. My teacher once told me that Art can never be done wrong. It only gets better you just have to put your mind into it. Looking at everyone elses pieces motivated me, to do better and to create a better piece. After studying my peers and realizing that they were creating their own art, I felt a confidence boost, I got Bristol paper and started over. I started over feeling more and more accomplished as I finished my piece. At the end my painting came out 10 times better than I thought it would. The lines where clean, the strokes of the paint were not as messy as before. Everything was good in my eyes, and looking at it still makes me smile. Stick to one stroke- he said, and I will never forget those words. Those words along with my mothers will remind me to keep pushing forward, and find a way to go back to the top, to be the best I can be for me. Although, I doubted myself, I felt rewarded after pouring my energy into this project. Making me appreciate myself and remind myself that I can do almost anything if I put my mind into it. I can be so many things without any obligations, with just a little push and effort.