25 PRETENTIOUS WORDS

WITH UNPRETENTIOUS EXPLANATIONS OF

WHY YOU KNOW THEM
By John Bluff
www.johnbluff.com

Word Definition How you know the Word

abominable unequivocally When you were kids, your detestable sister
detestable told you that if you didn’t clean her room,
the Abominable Snowman would bite off
your thumbs.

adamant not capable of being It is difficult to sway Wolverine from

swayed or diverted showing off his adamantium claws and steel
from a course wool chest hair.

aficionado a serious devotee of You were a subscriber to Cigar Aficionado

some particular music when you were in the phase of thinking that
genre or musical chicks smoking cigars was hot.
performer

alias a name that has been You are in love with Jennifer Garner and are
assumed temporarily constantly blogging about her television
shows under a false name.

assailant someone who attacks This is how the police officer described you
in the arrest report.

covenant an agreement between You have seen Raiders of the Lost Ark at
God and his people in least thirty times.
which God makes
certain promises and
requires certain
behavior

desist To cease to proceed or Your illegal downloading has garnered you

act many cease-and-desist letters, to which you
respond by promising to fight all the way to
the People’s Court.
dogma a doctrine or code of You live according a set of beliefs that
beliefs accepted as prohibits you from watching any film
authoritative featuring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

enormous extraordinarily large in This word is similar in sound and meaning

size or extent or to ginormous.
amount or power or
degree

festive offering fun and gaiety You celebrate Festivus.

gosling young goose You think Ryan Gosling, when set in a

certain light, looks like a young goose.

haggard showing the wearing You have grown weary of the Harry Potter
effects of overwork or movies generally and Hagrid specifically.
care or suffering

imbroglio an intricate and You were caught browsing through Natalie

confusing interpersonal Imbruglia’s medicine cabinet.
or political situation

inspector a high ranking police You had a crush on Penny from Inspector
officer Gadget.

jeopardy a source of danger Alex Trebek jimmied open the lock to your
front door with a hunting knife.

lingo a characteristic Chuck Woolery hosts a game show on the

language of a particular Game Show Network called Lingo. You
group have Seasons 1 -5 on DVD.

maroon leave stranded Your friends left you stranded at a Maroon 5

concert.

massif a block of the earth's You dozed off watching The Hunt for Red
crust bounded by faults October on TBS last night, though you’re
and shifted to form pretty sure Alec Baldwin mentioned one of
peaks of a mountain these.
range

metropolis a large and densely This is the city of keenly observant citizens
who can’t see that Clark Kent is Superman
 populated urban area until he removes his glasses.

mnemonic of or relating to or By remembering the letters

involved the practice of J.M.I.T.W.F.O.A.T., it’s easy to recall that
aiding the memory Johnny Mnemonic is the worst film of all
time.

nugatory of no real value In your opinion, the Snickers bar does not
have enough nougat, and is therefore of no
real value to society.

rebellion refusal to accept some This is the side you started rooting for in
authority or code or Star Wars after Luke stopped whining about
convention the power converters.

soprano the pitch range of the This was the kind of shriek you made when
highest female voice the Sopranos ended with a maddeningly
abrupt cut to black.

tenacious stubbornly unyielding Despite evidence to the contrary, you

stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that there
was anyone in Tenacious D besides Jack
Black.

zenith the point above the This is the kind of television you had before
observer that is directly you accidentally threw a Wiimote into the
opposite the nadir on screen.
the imaginary sphere
against which celestial
bodies appear to be
projected

Definitions courtesy of WordNet 3.0 © Princeton University 2006

Image courtesy of Flickr /autumn bliss