Annamalai Swami

1906-1995
Annamalai Swami was born in 1906 in a small village in Tamil Nadu, southern India. He was named Sella Perumal, and from an early age showed a keen interest in spirituality. In 1928, when he was 22 years old, he traveled to Tiruvannamalai to meet Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi who lived near the city along the base of the slope of the holy mountain Arunachala. Following in the footsteps of Sri Seshadri Swamigal, who saved the young Ramana from the ravages of insects and vermin in the underground vault he first inhabited, and Palaniswami, who stayed with Ramana in Virupaksha Cave and Skandasraman Cave, he became the Maharshis personal attendant and given the name Annamalai Swami (Annamalai is another name for Arunachala). Swami Annamalais duties, after being directed to do so by Sri Ramana, was to oversee all phases of the ongoing construction, continuing expansion, and positive growth of the Ramana Ashram, including the goshala (cow shed), dining hall, dispensary and other projects.

HOW THE ASHRAM LOOKED WHEN ANNAMALAI ARRIVED IN 1928

"Just remain like the sky and let thoughtclouds come and go."
QUESTION : What is the easiest way to be free of the 'little
self'?

The Self is always attained, it is always realised; it is not something that you have to seek, reach or discover. Your vasanas [mental habits and tendencies] and all the wrong ideas you have about yourself are blocking and hiding the experience of the real Self. If you don't identify with the wrong ideas, your Selfnature will not be hidden from you. You said that you needed help. If you desire to gain a proper understanding of your real nature is intense enough, help will automatically come. If you want to generate an awareness of your real nature you will be immeasurably helped by having contact with a jnani [realised being]. The power and grace which a jnani radiates quieten the mind and automatically eliminate the wrong ideas you have about yourself. You can make progress by having satsang [association] of a realised Guru and by constant spiritual practice. The Guru cannot do everything for you. If you want to give up the limiting habits of many lifetimes, you must practise constantly.

Most people take the appearance of the snake in the rope to be reality. Acting on their misperceptions they think up many different ways of killing the snake. They can never succeed in getting rid of the snake until they give up the idea that there is a snake there at all. People who want to kill or control the mind have the same problem: they imagine that there is a mind which needs to be controlled and take drastic steps to beat it into submission. If, instead, they generated the understanding that there is no such thing as the mind, all there problems would come to an end. You must generate the conviction, "I am the all-pervasive consciousness in which all bodies and minds in the world are appearing and disappearing. I am that consciousness which remains unchanged and unaffected by these appearances and disappearances". Stabilise yourself in that conviction. That is all you need to do. Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] once told a story about a man who wanted to bury his own shadow in a deep pit. He dug the pit and stood in such a position that his shadow was on the bottom of it. The man then tried to bury it by covering it with earth. Each time he threw some soil in the hole the shadow appeared on top of it. Of course, he never succeeded in burying the shadow. Many people behave like this when they meditate. They take the mind to be real, try to fight it and kill it, and always fail. These fights against the mind are all mental activities which strengthen the mind instead of weakening it. If you want to get rid of the mind, all you have to do is understand that it is 'not me'. Cultivate the awareness "I am the immanent consciousness". When that understanding becomes firm, the non-existent mind will not trouble you. Question: I don't think that repeating "I am not the mind, I am consciousness" will ever convince me that I am not the mind. It will just be another thought going on within the mind. If I could experience, even for a moment, what it is like to be without the mind, the conviction would automatically come. I think that one second of experiencing consciousness as it really is would be more convincing that several years of mental repetitions. Annamalai Swami: Every time you go to sleep you have the experience of being without a mind. You cannot deny that you exist while you are asleep and you cannot deny that your mind is not functioning while you are in dreamless sleep. This daily experience should convince you that it is possible to continue your existence without a mind. Of course, you do not have the full experience of consciousness while you are asleep, but if you think about what happens during this state you should come to understand that your existence, the continuity of your being, is in no way dependent on your mind or your identification with it. When the mind reappears every morning you instantly jump to the conclusion "This is the real me". If you reflect on this proposition for some time you will see how absurd it is. If what you really are only exists when the mind is present, you have to accept that you didn't exist while you were asleep. No one will accept such an absurd conclusion. If you analyse your alternating states you will discover that it is your direct experience that you exist whether you are awake

or asleep. You will also discover that the mind only becomes active while you are waking or dreaming. From these simple daily experiences it should be easy to understand that the mind is something that comes and goes. Your existence is not wiped out each time the mind ceases to function. I am not telling you some philosophical theory; I am telling you something that you can validate by direct experience in any twenty-four hour period of your life. Take these facts, which you can discover by directly experiencing them, and investigate them a little more. When the mind appears every morning don't jump to the usual conclusion, "This is me; these thoughts are mine." Instead, watch these thoughts come and go without identifying with them in any way. If you can resist the impulse to claim each and every thought as your own, you will come to a startling conclusion: you will discover that you are the consciousness in which the thoughts appear and disappear. You are allowed to run free. Like the snake which appears in the rope, you will discover that the mind is only an illusion which appears through ignorance or misperception. You want some experience which will convince you that what I am saying is true. You can have that experience if you give up your life-long habit of inventing an 'I' which claims all thoughts as 'mine'. Be conscious of yourself as consciousness alone, watch all the thoughts come and go. Come to the conclusion, by direct experience, that you are really consciousness itself, not its ephemeral contents. Clouds come and go in the sky but the appearance and disappearance of the clouds doesn't affect the sky. Your real nature is like the sky, like space. Just remain like the sky and let thought-clouds come and go. If you cultivate this attitude of indifference towards the mind, gradually you will cease to identify yourself with it. Question: When I began to do sadhana [spiritual practice] everything went smoothly at first. There was a lot of peace and happiness and jnana [true knowledge] seemed very near. But nowadays there is hardly any peace, just mental obstacles and hindrances. Annamalai Swami: Whenever obstacles come on the path, think of them as not me'. Cultivate the attitude that the real you is beyond the reach of all troubles and obstacles. There are no obstacles for the Self. If you can remember that you always are the Self, obstacles will be of no importance. One of the alvars [a group of Vaishnavite saints] once remarked that if one is not doing any spiritual practice one is not aware of any mind problems. He said that it is only when one starts to do meditation that one becomes aware of the different ways that the mind causes us trouble. This is very true. But one should not worry about any of the obstacles or fear them. One should merely regard them as being not me. They can only cause you trouble while you think that

they

are

your

problems.

The obstructing vasanas may look like a large mountain which obstructs your progress. Don't be intimidated by the size. It is not a mountain of rock, it is a mountain of camphor. If you light one corner of it with the flame of discriminative attention, it will all burn to nothing. Stand back from the mountain of problems, refuse to acknowledge that they are yours, and they will dissolve and disappear before your eyes. Dont be deluded by your thoughts and vasanas. They are always trying to trick you into believing that you are a real person, that the world is real, and that all your problems are real. Don't fight them; just ignore them. Don't accept delivery of all the wrong ideas that keep coming to you. Establish yourself in the conviction that you are the Self and that nothing can stick to you or affect you. Once you have that conviction you will find that you automatically ignore the habits of the mind. When the rejection of mental activities becomes continuous and automatic, you will begin to have the experience of the Self. If you see two strangers quarrelling in the distance you do not give much attention to them because you know that the dispute is none of your business. Treat the contents of your mind in the same way. Instead of filling your mind with thoughts and then organising fights between them, pay no attention to the mind at all. Rest quietly in the feeling of "I am", which is consciousness, and cultivate the attitude that all thoughts, all perceptions are 'not me'. When you have learned to regard your mind as a distant stranger, you will not pay any attention to all the obstacles it keeps inventing for you. Mental problems feed on the attention that you give them. The more you worry about them, the stronger they become. If you ignore them, they lose their power and finally vanish. Question: I am always thinking and believing that there is only the Self but somehow there is still a feeling that I want or need something more. Annamalai Swami: Who is it that wants? If you can find the answer to that question there will be no one to want anything. Question: Children are born without egos. As they begin to grow up, how do their egos arise and cover the Self? Annamalai Swami: As young children may appear to have no egos but its ego and all the latent vasanas that go with it are there in seed form. As the child's body grows bigger, the ego also grows bigger. The ego is produced by the power of maya [illusion], which is one of the shaktis [powers] of the Self.

Question: How does maya operate? How does it originate? Since nothing exists except the Self, how does the Self manage to conceal its own nature from itself? Annamalai Swami: The Self, which is infinite power and the source of all power, is indivisible. Yet within this indivisible Self there are five shaktis or powers, with varying functions, which operate simultaneously. The five shaktis are creation, preservation, destruction, veiling [maya shakti] and grace. The fifth shakti, grace, counteracts and removes the fourth shakti, which is maya. When maya is totally inactive, that is, when the identity with the body and the mind has been dropped, there is an awareness of consciousness, of being. When one is established in that state there is no body, no mind and no world. These three things are just ideas which are brought into an apparent existence when maya is present and active. When maya is active, the sole effective way to dissolve it is the path shown by Bhagavan: one must do self-enquiry and discriminate between what is real and what is unreal. It is the power of maya which makes us believe in the reality of things which have no reality outside our imagination. If you ask, "What are these imaginary things?" the answer is, "Everything that is not the formless Self". The Self alone is real; everything else is a figment of our imagination. It is not helpful to enquire why there is maya and how it operates. If you are in a boat which is leaking, you dont waste time asking whether the hole was made by an Italian, a Frenchman or an Indian. You just plug the leak. Don't worry about where maya comes from. Put all your energy into escaping from its effect. If you try to investigate the origin of maya with your mind you are doomed to fail because any answer you come up with will be a maya answer. If you want to understand how maya operates and originates you should establish yourself in the Self, the one place where you can be free of it, and then watch how it takes you over each time you fail to keep your attention there. Question: You say that maya is one of the shaktis. What exactly do you mean by shakti? Annamalai Swami: Shakti is energy or power. It is a name for the dynamic aspect of the Self. Shakti and shanti [peace] are two aspects of the same consciousness. If you want to separate them at all, you can say that shanti is the unmanifest aspect of the Self while shakti is the manifest. But really they are not separate. A flame has two properties: light and heat. The two cannot be separate. Shanti and shakti are like the sea and its waves. Shanti, the unmanifest aspect, is the vast unmoving body of water. The waves that appear and move on the surface are shakti. Shanti is motionless, vast and all-encompassing, whereas waves are active.

Bhagavan used to say that after realisation the jivanmukta [liberated one] experiences shanti within and is established permanently in that shanti. In that state of realisation he sees that all activities are caused by shakti. After realisation one is aware that there is no individual people doing anything. Instead there is an awareness that all activities are the shakti of the one Self. The jnani, who is fully established in the shanti, is always aware that shakti is not separate from him. In that awareness everything is his Self and all actions are his. Alternatively, it is equally correct to say that he never does anything. This is one of the paradoxes of the Self. The universe is controlled by the one shakti, sometimes called Parameswara shakti [the power of the Supreme Lord]. This moves and orders all things. Natural laws, such as the laws that keep the planets in their orbits, are all manifestations of this shakti. Question: You say that everything is the Self, even maya. If this is so, why can't I see the Self clearly? Why is it hidden from me? Annamalai Swami: Because you are looking in the wrong direction. You have the idea that the Self is something that you see or experience. This is not so. The Self is the awareness or the consciousness in which the seeing and the experiencing take place. Even if you don't see the Self, the Self is still there. Bhagavan sometimes remarked humorously: "People just open a newspaper and glance through it. Then they say, "I have seen the paper". But really they haven't seen the paper, they have only seen the letters and pictures that are on it. There can be no words or pictures without the paper, but people always forget the paper while they are reading the words." Bhagavan would then use this analogy to show that while people see the names and forms that appear on the screen of consciousness, the ignore the screen itself. With this kind of partial vision it is easy to come to the conclusion that all forms are unconnected with each other and separate from the person who sees them. If people were to be aware of the consciousness instead of the forms that appear in it, they would realise that all forms are just appearances which manifest within the one indivisible consciousness. That consciousness is the Self that you are looking for. You can be that consciousness but you can never see it because it is not something that is separate from you. Question: You talk a lot about vasanas. Could you please tell me exactly what they are and how they function? Annamalai Swami: Vasanas are habits of the mind. They are the mistaken

identifications and the repeated thought patterns that occur again and again. It is the vasanas which cover up the experience of the Self. Vasanas arise, catch your attention, and pull you outwards towards the world rather than inwards towards the Self. This happens so often and so continuously that the mind never gets a chance to rest or to understand its real nature. Cocks like to claw the ground. It is a perpetual habit with them. Even if they are standing on bare rock they still try to scratch the ground. Vasanas function in much the same the way. They are habits and patterns of thought that appear again and again even if they are not wanted. Most of our ideas and thoughts are incorrect. When they rise habitually as vasanas they brainwash us into thinking that they are true. The fundamental vasanas such as "I am the body" or "I am the mind" have appeared in us so many times that we automatically accept that they are true. Even our desire to transcend our vasanas is a vasana. When we think "I must meditate" or "I must make an effort" we are just organising a fight between two different vasanas. You can only escape the habits of the mind by abiding in consciousness as consciousness. Be who you are. Just be still. Ignore all the vasanas that rise in the mind and instead fix your attention in the Self. Question: Bhagavan often told devotees to "Be still". Did he mean "Be mentally still"? Annamalai Swami: Bhagavan's famous instruction "summa iru" [be still] is often misunderstood. It does not mean that you should be physically still; it means that you should always abide in the Self. If there is too much physical stillness, tamoguna [a state of mental torpor] arises and predominates. In that state you will feel very sleepy and mentally dull. Rajoguna [a state of excessive mental activity], on the other hand, produces emotions and a mind which is restless. In sattva guna [a state of mental quietness and clarity] there is stillness and harmony. If mental activity is necessary while one is in sattva guna it takes place. But for the rest of the time there is stillness. When tamoguna and rajoguna predominate, the Self cannot be felt. If sattva guna predominates one experiences peace, bliss, clarity and an absence of wandering thoughts. That is the stillness that Bhagavan was prescribing. Question: Bhagavan, in Talks with Ramana Maharshi, speaks of bhoga vasanas [vasanas which are for enjoyment] and bandha vasanas [vasanas which produce bondage]. He says that for the jnani there are bhoga vasanas but no bandha vasanas. Would Swamiji please clarify the difference. Annamalai Swami: Nothing can cause bondage for the jnani because his mind is dead. In the absence of a mind he knows himself only as consciousness. Because the mind is dead, he is no longer able to identify himself with the body. But even though he knows that he is not the body, it is a fact that the body is

still alive. That body will continue to live, and the jnani will continue to be aware of it, until its own karma [destined action] is exhausted. Because the jnani is still aware of the body, he will also be aware of the thoughts and vasanas that arise in that body. None of these vasanas has the power to cause bondage for him because he never identifies with them, but they do have the power to make the body behave in certain ways. The body of the jnani enjoys and experiences these vasanas although the jnani himself is not affected by them. That is why it is sometimes said that for the jnani there are bhoga vasanas but no bandha vasanas. The bhoga vasanas differ from jnani to jnani. Some jnanis may accumulate wealth, some may sit in silence; some may study the shastra [Scriptures] while others may remain illiterate; some may get married ands raise families, but others may become celibate monks. It is the bhoga vasanas which determine the kind of lifestyle a jnani will lead. The jnani is aware of the consequences of all these vasanas without ever identifying with them. Because of this he never falls back into samsara [worldly illusion] again. The vasanas arise because of the habits and practices of previous lifetimes. That is why they differ from jnani to jnani. When vasanas rise in ordinary people who still identify with the body and the mind, they cause likes and dislikes. Some vasanas are embraced wholeheartedly while others are rejected as being undesirable. These likes and dislikes generate desires and fears which in turn produce more karma. While you are still making judgements about what is good and what is bad, you are identifying with the mind and making new karma for yourself. When new karma has been created like this, it means you have to take another birth to enjoy it. The jnani's body carries out all the acts which are destined for it. But because the jnani makes no judgement about what is good or bad, and because he has no likes or dislikes, he is not creating any new karma for himself. Because he knows that he is not the body, he can witness all its activities without getting involved in them in any way. There will be no rebirth for the jnani because once the mind has been destroyed there is no possibility of any new karma being created. Question: So whatever happens to us in life only happens because of our past likes and dislikes? Annamalai Swami: Yes.

Question: How can one learn not to react when vasanas arise in the mind? Is there anything special that we should be looking out for? Annamalai Swami: You must learn to recognise them when they arise. That is

the only way. If you can catch them early enough and frequently enough they will not cause you trouble. If you want to pay attention to a special area of danger, watch how the five senses operate. It is the nature of the mind to seek stimulation through the five senses. The mind catches hold of sense impressions and processes them in such a way that they produce long chains of uncontrolled thoughts. Learn to watch how your senses behave. Learn to watch how the mind reacts to sense impressions. If you can stop the mind from reacting to sense impressions you can eliminate a large number of your vasanas. Bhagavan never like or disliked anything. If we have likes or dislikes, if we hate or love someone or something, some bondage will arise in the mind. Jnanis never like or dislike anything. That is why they are free of all bondage.
..

Annamalai Swami Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] has said: When thoughts arise stop them from developing by enquiring, To whom is this thought coming? as soon as the thought appears. What does it matter if many thoughts keep coming up? Enquire into their origin or find out who has the thoughts and sooner or later the flow of thoughts will stop. This is how self-enquiry should be practiced. When Bhagavan spoke like this he sometimes used the analogy of a besiged fort. If one systematically loses off all the entrances to such a fort and then picks off the occupants one by one as they try to come out, sooner or later the fort willl be be empty. Bhagavan said that we should apply these same tactics to the mind. How to go about doing this? Seal off the entrances and exits to the mind by not reacting to rising thoughts or sense impressions. Dont let new ideas, judgements, likes, dislikes, etc. enter the mind, and dont let rising thoughts flourish and escape your attention. When you have sealed off the mind in this way, challenge each emerging thought as it appears by asking, Where have you come from? or Who is the person who is having this thought? If you can do this continuously, with full attention, new thoughts will appear momentarily and then disappear.

If you can maintain the siege for long enough, a time will come when no more thoughts arise; or if they do, they will only be fleeting, undistracting images on the periphery of consciousness. In that thought-free state you wlil begin to experience yourself as consciousness, not as mind or body. However, if you relax your vigilance even for a few seconds and allow new thoughts to escape and develop unchallenged, the siege will be lifted and the mind will regain some or all of its former strength. In a real fort the occupants need a continuous supply of food and water to hold out during a siege. When the supplies run out, the occupants must surrender or die. In the fort of the mind the occupants, which are thoughts, need a thinker to pay attention to them and indulge in them. If the thinker witholds his attention from rising thoughts or challenges them before they have a chance to develop, the thoughts will all die of starvation. You challenge them by repeatedly asking yourself Who am I? Who is the person who is having these thoughts? If the challenge is to be effective you must make it before the rising thought has had a chance to develop into a stream of thoughts. Mind is only a collection of thoughts and the thinker who thinks them. The thinker is the I-thought, the primal thought which rises from the Self before all others, which identifies with all other thoughts and says, I am this body. When you have eradicated all thoughts except for the thinker himself by ceaseless enquiry or by refusing to give them any attention, the I-thought sinks into the Heart and surrenders, leaving behind it only an awareness of consciousness. This surrender will only take place when the I-thought has ceased to identify with rising thoughts. While there are still stray thoughts which attract or evade your attentoin, the I-thought will always be directing its attention outwards rather than inwards. The purpose of self-enquiry is to make the I-thought move inwards, towards the Self. This will happen automatically as soon as you cease to be interested in any of your rising thoughts.

Source: from book Living by the Words of Bhagavan, pages 27273. This book is written by David Godman and it contains wonderful account of Annamalai Swami Life with Ramana Maharshi, Stories of How Ramana Ashram was constructed, Annamalai Swami answers to meditation Questions of Seekers If you are having trouble with your enthusiasm for sadhana, just tell yourself, I may be dead in seven days. Let go of all the things that you pretend are important in your daily life and instead focus on the Self for twenty-four hours a day. Do it and see what happens. Remember that nothing that happens in the mind is you, and none of it is your business. You dont have to worry about the thoughts that rise up inside you. It is enough that you remember that the thoughts are not you. Go deeply into this feeling of I. Be aware of it so strongly and so intensely that no other thoughts have the energy to arise and distract you. If you hold this feeling of I long enough and strongly enough, the false I wll vanish leaving only the unbroken awareness of the real, immanent I, consciousness itself.. Continuous attentiveness will only come with long practice. If you are truly watchful, each thought will dissolve at the moment that it appears. But to reach this level of disassociation you must have no attachments at all. If you have the slightest interest in any particular thought, it will evade your attentiveness, connect with other thoughts, and take over your mind for a few seconds. This will happen more easily if you are accustomed to reacting emotionally to a particular thought. Self-inquiry must be done continuously. It doesnt work if you regard it as a part-time activity. Sadhana is a battlefield. You have to be vigilant. Dont take delivery of wrong beliefs and dont identify with the incoming thoughts that will give you pain and suffering. But if these things start happening to you, fight back by affirming, I am the Self; I am the Self; I am the Self;. These

affirmations will lessen the power of the I am the body arrows and eventually they will armour-plate you so successfully, the I am the body thoughts that come your way will no longer have the power to touch you, affect you or make you suffer. If you can hold on to this knowledge I am Self at all times, no further practice is necessary. There is nothing wrong with looking at Bhagavans picture. It is a very good practice. But you should not get sidetracked from you main objective which is establishing yourself as consciousness. Dont get attached to states of bliss or give them priority over the quest for the Self. There are so many thoughts in the mind. Thought after thought after thought. But there is one thought that is continuous, though it is mostly sub-conscious: I am the body. This is the string on which all other thoughts are threaded. Once we identify ourselves with the body by thinking this thought, maya follows. It also follows that if we cease to identify with the body, maya will not affect us anymore. When the rejection of mental activities becomes continuous and automatic, you will begin to have the experience of the Self. A strong determination to pursue enquiry in this way will dissolve all doubts. By questioning Who am I? and by constantly meditating, one comes to the clarity of being.As long as vasanas continue to exist they will rise and cover the reality, obscuring awareness of it. As often as you become aware of them, question, To whom do they come? This continuous enquiry will establish you in your own Self and you will have no further problems. When you know that the snake of the mind never existed, when you know that the rope of reality is all that exists, doubts and fears will not trouble you again. Meditation must be continuous. The current of meditation must be present in all your activities. With practice, meditation and work can go on simultaneously.

One must keep ones attention on the Self if one wants to make progress on the spiritual path The thoughts that come and go are not you. Whatever comes and goes is not you. Your reality is peace. If you dont forget that, that will be enough. Bhagavans famous instruction summa iru [be still] is often misunderstood. It does not mean that you should be physically still; it means that you should always abide in the Self In sattva guna [a state of mental quietness and clarity] there is stillness and harmony. If mental activity is necessary while one is in sattva guna it takes place. But for the rest of the time there is stillness If sattva guna predominates one experiences pleace, bliss, clarity and an absence of wandering thoughts. That is the stillness that Bhagavan was prescribing. Bhagavan is always present, inside you and in front of you. If you dont cover the vision of Bhagavan with your ego, that will be enough. The ego is the I am the body idea. Remove this idea and you shine as the Self. When I say, Meditate on the Self I am asking you to be the Self, not think about it. Be aware of what remains when thoughts stop. Be aware of the consciousness that is the origin of all your thoughts. Be that consciousness. In the same way, mind is just a Self-inflicted area of darkness in which the light of the Self has been deliberately shut out. The mind and the body are both inert. Any energy or peace you experience can only come from the Self. Drop the identification with the body. These experiences are making you too body-conscious. Just be aware of the Self and try to pay as little attention as possible to the body. The Self is pure energy, pure power. Hold onto that. If you can give up duality, Brahman alone remains, and you know yourself to be that Brahman, but to make this discovery continuous meditation is required. Dont allocate periods of time for this. Dont regard it as something you do when you sit with your eyes closed. This meditation has

to be continuous. Do it while eating, walking and even talking. It has to be continued all the time. Remember that nothing that happens in the mind is you, and none of it is your business. You dont have to worry about the thoughts that rise up inside you. It is enough that you remember that the thoughts are not you. Tayumanuvar, a Tamil saint whom Bhagavan often quoted, wrote in one of his poems: My Guru merely told me that I am consciousness. Having heard this, I held onto consciousness. What he told me was just one sentence, but I cannot describe the bliss I attained from holding onto that one simple sentence. Through that one sentence I attained a peace and a happiness that can never be explained in words. In every moment you only have one real choice: to be aware of the Self or to identify with the body and the mind. You have to keep up the enquiry, To whom is this happening? all the time. If you are having trouble remind yourself, This is just happening on the surface of my mind. I am not this mind or the wandering thoughts. Then go back into enquiry Who am I?. By doing this you will penetrate deeper and deeper and become detached from the mind. This will only come about after you have made an intense effort. Your ultimate need is to get established in the changeless peace of the Self. For this you have to give up all thoughts. Annamalai Swami Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] has said: When thoughts arise stop them from developing by enquiring, To whom is this thought coming? as soon as the thought appears. What does it matter if many thoughts keep coming up? Enquire into their origin or find out who has the thoughts and sooner or later the flow of thoughts will stop. This is how selfenquiry should be practiced.

When Bhagavan spoke like this he sometimes used the analogy of a besiged fort. If one systematically loses off all the entrances to such a fort and then picks off the occupants one by one as they try to come out, sooner or later the fort willl be be empty. Bhagavan said that we should apply these same tactics to the mind. How to go about doing this? Seal off the entrances and exits to the mind by not reacting to rising thoughts or sense impressions. Dont let new ideas, judgements, likes, dislikes, etc. enter the mind, and dont let rising thoughts flourish and escape your attention. When you have sealed off the mind in this way, challenge each emerging thought as it appears by asking, Where have you come from? or Who is the person who is having this thought? If you can do this continuously, with full attention, new thoughts will appear momentarily and then disappear. If you can maintain the siege for long enough, a time will come when no more thoughts arise; or if they do, they will only be fleeting, undistracting images on the periphery of consciousness. In that thought-free state you wlil begin to experience yourself as consciousness, not as mind or body. However, if you relax your vigilance even for a few seconds and allow new thoughts to escape and develop unchallenged, the siege will be lifted and the mind will regain some or all of its former strength. In a real fort the occupants need a continuous supply of food and water to hold out during a siege. When the supplies run out, the occupants must surrender or die. In the fort of the mind the occupants, which are thoughts, need a thinker to pay attention to them and indulge in them.

If the thinker witholds his attention from rising thoughts or challenges them before they have a chance to develop, the thoughts will all die of starvation. You challenge them by repeatedly asking yourself Who am I? Who is the person who is having these thoughts? If the challenge is to be effective you must make it before the rising thought has had a chance to develop into a stream of thoughts. Mind is only a collection of thoughts and the thinker who thinks them. The thinker is the I-thought, the primal thought which rises from the Self before all others, which identifies with all other thoughts and says, I am this body. When you have eradicated all thoughts except for the thinker himself by ceaseless enquiry or by refusing to give them any attention, the I-thought sinks into the Heart and surrenders, leaving behind it only an awareness of consciousness. This surrender will only take place when the I-thought has ceased to identify with rising thoughts. While there are still stray thoughts which attract or evade your attentoin, the I-thought will always be directing its attention outwards rather than inwards. The purpose of self-enquiry is to make the I-thought move inwards, towards the Self. This will happen automatically as soon as you cease to be interested in any of your rising thoughts. Source: from book Living by the Words of Bhagavan, pages 27273. This book is written by David Godman and it contains wonderful account of Annamalai Swami Life with Ramana Maharshi, Stories of How Ramana Ashram was constructed, Annamalai Swami answers to meditation Questions of Seekers If you are having trouble with your enthusiasm for sadhana, just tell yourself, I may be dead in seven days. Let go of all the

things that you pretend are important in your daily life and instead focus on the Self for twenty-four hours a day. Do it and see what happens. Remember that nothing that happens in the mind is you, and none of it is your business. You dont have to worry about the thoughts that rise up inside you. It is enough that you remember that the thoughts are not you. Go deeply into this feeling of I. Be aware of it so strongly and so intensely that no other thoughts have the energy to arise and distract you. If you hold this feeling of I long enough and strongly enough, the false I wll vanish leaving only the unbroken awareness of the real, immanent I, consciousness itself.. Continuous attentiveness will only come with long practice. If you are truly watchful, each thought will dissolve at the moment that it appears. But to reach this level of disassociation you must have no attachments at all. If you have the slightest interest in any particular thought, it will evade your attentiveness, connect with other thoughts, and take over your mind for a few seconds. This will happen more easily if you are accustomed to reacting emotionally to a particular thought. Self-inquiry must be done continuously. It doesnt work if you regard it as a part-time activity. Sadhana is a battlefield. You have to be vigilant. Dont take delivery of wrong beliefs and dont identify with the incoming thoughts that will give you pain and suffering. But if these things start happening to you, fight back by affirming, I am the Self; I am the Self; I am the Self;. These affirmations will lessen the power of the I am the body arrows and eventually they will armour-plate you so successfully, the I am the body thoughts

that come your way will no longer have the power to touch you, affect you or make you suffer. If you can hold on to this knowledge I am Self at all times, no further practice is necessary. There is nothing wrong with looking at Bhagavans picture. It is a very good practice. But you should not get sidetracked from you main objective which is establishing yourself as consciousness. Dont get attached to states of bliss or give them priority over the quest for the Self. There are so many thoughts in the mind. Thought after thought after thought. But there is one thought that is continuous, though it is mostly sub-conscious: I am the body. This is the string on which all other thoughts are threaded. Once we identify ourselves with the body by thinking this thought, maya follows. It also follows that if we cease to identify with the body, maya will not affect us anymore. When the rejection of mental activities becomes continuous and automatic, you will begin to have the experience of the Self. A strong determination to pursue enquiry in this way will dissolve all doubts. By questioning Who am I? and by constantly meditating, one comes to the clarity of being.As long as vasanas continue to exist they will rise and cover the reality, obscuring awareness of it. As often as you become aware of them, question, To whom do they come? This continuous enquiry will establish you in your own Self and you will have no further problems. When you know that the snake of the mind never existed, when you know that the rope of reality is all that exists, doubts and fears will not trouble you again. Meditation must be continuous. The current of meditation must be present in all your activities. With practice, meditation and work can go on simultaneously.

One must keep ones attention on the Self if one wants to make progress on the spiritual path The thoughts that come and go are not you. Whatever comes and goes is not you. Your reality is peace. If you dont forget that, that will be enough. Bhagavans famous instruction summa iru [be still] is often misunderstood. It does not mean that you should be physically still; it means that you should always abide in the Self In sattva guna [a state of mental quietness and clarity] there is stillness and harmony. If mental activity is necessary while one is in sattva guna it takes place. But for the rest of the time there is stillness If sattva guna predominates one experiences pleace, bliss, clarity and an absence of wandering thoughts. That is the stillness that Bhagavan was prescribing. Bhagavan is always present, inside you and in front of you. If you dont cover the vision of Bhagavan with your ego, that will be enough. The ego is the I am the body idea. Remove this idea and you shine as the Self. When I say, Meditate on the Self I am asking you to be the Self, not think about it. Be aware of what remains when thoughts stop. Be aware of the consciousness that is the origin of all your thoughts. Be that consciousness. In the same way, mind is just a Self-inflicted area of darkness in which the light of the Self has been deliberately shut out. The mind and the body are both inert. Any energy or peace you experience can only come from the Self. Drop the identification with the body. These experiences are making you too bodyconscious. Just be aware of the Self and try to pay as little attention as possible to the body. The Self is pure energy, pure power. Hold onto that.

If you can give up duality, Brahman alone remains, and you know yourself to be that Brahman, but to make this discovery continuous meditation is required. Dont allocate periods of time for this. Dont regard it as something you do when you sit with your eyes closed. This meditation has to be continuous. Do it while eating, walking and even talking. It has to be continued all the time. Remember that nothing that happens in the mind is you, and none of it is your business. You dont have to worry about the thoughts that rise up inside you. It is enough that you remember that the thoughts are not you. Tayumanuvar, a Tamil saint whom Bhagavan often quoted, wrote in one of his poems: My Guru merely told me that I am consciousness. Having heard this, I held onto consciousness. What he told me was just one sentence, but I cannot describe the bliss I attained from holding onto that one simple sentence. Through that one sentence I attained a peace and a happiness that can never be explained in words. In every moment you only have one real choice: to be aware of the Self or to identify with the body and the mind. You have to keep up the enquiry, To whom is this happening? all the time. If you are having trouble remind yourself, This is just happening on the surface of my mind. I am not this mind or the wandering thoughts. Then go back into enquiry Who am I?. By doing this you will penetrate deeper and deeper and become detached from the mind. This will only come about after you have made an intense effort.

Your ultimate need is to get established in the changeless peace of the Self. For this you have to give up all thoughts.

Quotes from Annamalai Swami

When the rejection of mental activities becomes continuous and automatic, you will begin to have the experience of the Self. quoted in David Godman, Living by the Words of Bhagavan, page 263 Bhagavan's famous instruction 'summa iru' [be still] is often misunderstood. It does not mean that you should be physically still; it means that you should always abide in the Self In sattva guna [a state of mental quietness and clarity] there is stillness and harmony. If mental activity is necessary while one is in sattva guna it takes place. But for the rest of the time there is stillness If sattva guna predominates one experiences peace, bliss, clarity and an absence of wandering thoughts. That is the stillness that Bhagavan was prescribing. quoted in David Godman, Living by the Words of Bhagavan, page 267 Meditation must be continuous. The current of meditation must be present

in all your activities. With practice, meditation and work can go on simultaneously. quoted in David Godman, Living by the Words of Bhagavan, page 274 When I say, 'Meditate on the Self' I am asking you to be the Self, not think about it. Be aware of what remains when thoughts stop. Be aware of the consciousness that is the origin of all your thoughts. Be that consciousness. quoted in David Godman, Living by the Words of Bhagavan, page 282 Go deeply into this feeling of 'I'. Be aware of it so strongly and so intensely that no other thoughts have the energy to arise and distract you. If you hold this feeling of 'I' long enough and strongly enough, the false 'I' wll vanish leaving only the unbroken awareness of the real, immanent 'I', consciousness itself.. quoted in David Godman, Living by the Words of Bhagavan, page 299 The Self is always alert. That is its nature. quoted in David Godman, Living by the Words of Bhagavan, page 327 Continuous attentiveness will only come with long practice. If you are truly watchful, each thought will dissolve at the moment that it appears. But to reach this level of disassociation you must have no attachments at all. If you have the slightest interest in any particular thought, it will evade your attentiveness, connect with other thoughts, and take over your mind for a few seconds. This will happen more easily if you are accustomed to reacting emotionally to a particular thought. quoted in David Godman, Living by the Words of Bhagavan , pages 34243 Self-inquiry must be done continuously. It doesn't work if you regard it as a part-time activity. Annamalai Swami: Final Talks, page 30 If you can hold on to this knowledge 'I am Self' at all times, no further practice is necessary. Annamalai Swami: Final Talks, page 39 In the same way, mind is just a Self-inflicted area of darkness in which the light of the Self has been deliberately shut out. Annamalai Swami: Final Talks, page 57

In every moment you only have one real choice: to be aware of the Self or to identify with the body and the mind. Annamalai Swami: Final Talks, page 59 Your ultimate need is to get established in the changeless peace of the Self. For this you have to give up all thoughts. Annamalai Swami: Final Talks, page 63 Tayumanuvar, a Tamil saint whom Bhagavan often quoted, wrote in one of his poems: 'My Guru merely told me that I am consciousness. Having heard this, I held onto consciousness. What he told me was just one sentence, but I cannot describe the bliss I attained from holding onto that one simple sentence. Through that one sentence I attained a peace and a happiness that can never be explained in words.'

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Quote Q: I feel that the bhakti path is an effortless way. When I enquire "Who am I" I feel that I must make a great effort to make the mind subside. The Bhakti path seems to be more sweet, more joyfull and more effortless. A: It is always good to worship the guru, but abiding in the guru's teachings is far better. You follow the bhakti path if you want to but you should remember that its almost impossible for a devotee to judge whether he is making progress or not. you should not jump to the conclusion that you are not making any progress with your self inquiry simply because you find it hard to do. And you should not think tht you will make more progress as a bhakta simply because you find it easy to generate joyful states of mind. The same consciousness which is within you and within bhagavan's form is within all forms. we must learn to contact this consciousness by being aware of this all the time.

Q: I know that Bhagavan is in all forms but some times I find it easier to feel his grace by concentrating on an image of him. Self inquiry is such hard work. One rarely finds blissful or peaceful doing it. sometimes i feel like treating myself to a little bliss by looking at bhagavan's picture for a while. A: There is nothign wrong with looking at Bhagavan's picture. Thats a good practise. But you should not get sidetracked from our main objective which is establishing yourself as

consciousness. dont get attached to states of bliss or give them priority over the quest for Self. If you become attached to peaceful or blissful states you may lose your interest in the main quest. It is good to feel blissful and peaceful but dont indulge yourself in these states at the expense of self inquiry. If you realize the inner Self, if you realize that there is not an atom which is apart from Self, you will experience the real peace and bliss of the Self. You will be the peace or the bliss rather than being the experiencer of it. if you experience temporary states of peace or bliss in the mind, the experiencer of that peace or bliss will not want the Self to subside into the Self and disappear. Dont get attached to mental peace. Go beyond it to the real peace which comes from being

POST Page 84 of Final Talks

Quote What ever kind of thought arises, have the same reaction: 'Not me, not my business'. IT can be a good thought or a bad thought. Treat them the same way. To whom are these thoughts arising ? To You. That means you are not the thought. You are the Self. Remain as the Self, and don't latch onto anything that is not the Self.

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Quote Whatever thoughts come, ignore them. You have to ignore anything that is connected to the body-mind idea, anything that is based on the notion that you are the mind or the body. if you can do this, the raising of thought will not disturb or distract you. in a split second , it will run away. All thoughts are distractiosn, including the thought ' i am meditating'. if you are the Self, darkness will not overcome you. what ever thoughts arise in that state wont affect you.

POST Page 82 of final talks

Quote

Sadhana, effort and practise , and any ideas you may have about them, are concepts that can only arise when you believe that you are not the Self, and when you believe that you have to do something to reach the Self. Even the sequence "to whom has this thought come? To me" is based on ignorance of the truth. Why? Because its verbalising a state of ignorance; its perpetuating an erroneous assumption that there is a person who is having troublesome thoughts. You are the Self not some make-believe person who is having thoughts

POST Page 82, Final Talks

Quote Remember , nothing that happens to mind is 'you', and none of it is your business. You dont have to worry about thoughts that rise up inside you.Its enough that you remember that the thoughts are not you.

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Quote Thoughts will come as long as the potential for them is inside you. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, they will keep coming. There is nothing you can do about this flow, but at the same time, this flow of thoughts need not be a problem. Be the Self, be the peace that is your real nature, and it will not matter what comes up.

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Giving up the identity with the body and the mind is tapas, samadhi, dhyana and nishta. Spiritual seekers have a very strange habit: they are always looking for a way to reach, attain,discover,experience, or realize the Self. They try many things because they cannot comprehend that they are already the Self. This is like running around looking for one's eyes with one's own eyes. Why should you imagine that it is some new experience to be discovered or found ? You are the Self right now, and you are aware of it right now. Do you need a new experience to prove that you exist? The feeling "I am existing" is the Self. You pretend that you are not experiencing it, or cover it up with all kinds of false ideas, and then you run around looking for it as if it were something external to be reached or found. There is a story about someone the king he may be like able to help me thus. by giving some money" Once a king imagined that he was a poverty-striken peasant. He thought , "if I go and meet He searched for the king in many places but he could not find him anywhere. Ultimately he became very depressed because his search was not yeilding any results. One day he met a man make the moment the truth he remembered when it on the me road happy who but asked I him why cant king!" his was real told identity. to him. he find was him so depressed. anywhere". He answered, " I am searching for the king. I think that he can solve all my problems and The man, who already recognized him, said with some astonishment, "But you yourself as The king came to his senses and remembered who he was. His problems all ended the You may think that the king was fairly stupid but he had at least enough sense to recognize The guru may tell his disciples a thousand times "You are the self, you are not what you imagine youself ot be", they all keep asking the guru for methods and routes to reach the place they are already are.

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Quote Q: Bhagavan said that repeating 'I am Self' or 'I am not the body' is an aid to enquiry but it does not constitute enquiry itself. AS: The meditation "I am not the body or the mind, I am the immanent Self" is a great aid

as

long

as

one

is

not

able

to

do

self

inquiry

properly

or

constantly.

Bhagavan said, 'Keeping the mind in the heart is self-enquiry'. If you cannot do thys by asking "who am I?" or by taking the "I"-thought back to its source, then meditation on the awareness "I am the all pervasive Self" is a great aid. Bhagavan often siad that we should read and study the Ribhu Gita regularly. In Ribhu Gita its said: "That Bhavana "I am not the body, I am not the mind, I am Brahman, I am everything" is to be repeated again and again until it becomes natural state. Bhagavan sat with us every day while we chanted extracts from Ribhu Gita which affirm the reality of the Self. Its true that he said that these repetitions are only an aid to self-enquiry, but they are very powerful aids. By practising this way the mind becomes more and more attuned to the reality. When the mind has become purified by this practise its easier to take it back to the source and keep it there. when one is able to abide in the Self directly, one does not need aids like this. But if this is not possible these practises can definitely aid.

POST 9

Quote How to give up this false idea that mind is real ? Annamalai Swami Answers: the same way that you give up any wrong idea. you simply stop believing in it. if this does not happen spontaneously when u hear the truth from a teacher, keep telling yourself "i am not the mind, i am not the mind. There is no mind; there is no mind. consciousness alone exists". if you have firm conviction that this is the truth, one day this firm conviction will mature to the point where it becoems your direct experience.

POST Living by the Words of Bhagavan , pg 281

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Quote If you try to meditate without understanding that your real nature is Self, and Self alone, your meditation practise will only lead you to more mental bondage. Bhagavan once said, 'To keep the mind in the Self, all you have to do is remain still' To realize the Self you dont actually have to do anything except be still. Just give up the identifying with the mind and hold onto the Self. That is enough. Be still and cultivate the awareness 'I am the Self;the Self is all'. What difficulties can arise from doing a simple practise like this ?

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Quote Doing any sadhana without first understanding that the individual self is non-existent is selfindulgence. Its a form of spiritual entertainment in which the illusory "I" plays games with itself. Saint Tayumanuvar once said,'Why all these maha yogas ? All these yogas are maya!' When I say, 'Meditate on the Self' , I am asking you the be the Self, not think about it. Be aware of what remains when thoughts stop. Be aware of the consciousness that is the origin of all your thoughts. Be that consciousness. Feel that that is what you reall are. If you do this you are meditating on the Self. But if you cannot stabilise in that consciousness because your vasanas are too strong and too active , its beneficial to hold onto the thought 'I am Self, I am everything' If you meditate in this way you will not be cooperating with the vasanas that are blocking the Self-awareness. If you do not cooperate with the vasanas, sooner or later they are bound to leave you. If this method does not appeal to you , then just watch the mind with full attention. Whenever the mind wanders, become aware of it. See how thoughts connect with each other and watch how this ghost called mind catches hold of your thoughts and says 'This is my thought'. Watch the ways of mind without identifying with them in any way. If you give your mind your full detached attention, you begin to understand the futility of all mental activities. Watch the mind wandering here and there , seeking out useless or unnecessary things or ideas which will ultimately create more misery for itself. Watching the mind gives us the knowledge of the inner processes. It gives us an incentive to stay detached from all our thoughts. Ultimately if we try hard enough, it gives us the ability to remain as consciousness , unaffected by transient thoughts

POST pg 274 , of living by the words of bhagavan

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Quote The best mantra is "i am the self, everything is my Self. Everything is one" If you keep this in your mind all the time, Self will eventually reveal itself to you. Dont be statisfied with rituals and other kindergarten techniques. If you are serious, head directly for the self. Hold onto it as tenaciously as you can and dont let anything or anyone loosen your grip.

POST Pg 260 of Living by the words of Bhagavan

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Quote You must generate the conviction, "I am the all-pervasive consciousness in which all bodes and minds in the world are appearing and disappearing. I am that consciousness which remains unchanged and unaffected by these appearances and disappearances ". Stabilise yourself in that conviction. Thats all you need to do.

Post Living by the words of bhagavan , conversations

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Quote Q.: not Q.: What is the easiest way to be it to free of will do the 'little self'? Annamalai Swami: Stop identifying with it. If you can convince yourself, 'This little self is really But me,' how disappear. that?

AS.: The little self is something that only appears to be real. If you understand that it has no real existence it will disappear, leaving behind it the experience of the real and only Self.

Understand

that

it

has

no

real

existence

and

it

will

stop

troubling

you.

Consciousness is universal. There is no limitation or 'little self' in it. It is only when we identify with and limit ourselves to the body and the mind that this false sense of self is born. If, through enquiry, you go to the source of the 'little self', you find that it dissolves into nothingness.

Q.: But I am very accustomed to feel 'I am this 'little self' '. I cannot break this habit merely by thinking 'I am not this 'little self''. AS.: This 'little self' will only give way to the real Self if you meditate constantly. You cannot wish it away with a few stray thoughts. Try to remember the analogy of the rope which looks like a snake in twilight. If you see the rope as snake the real nature of the rope is hidden from you. If you only see the rope the snake is not there. Not only that - you know that there never was a snake there. (Then) the question of how to kill the snake disappears... If you can understand that this 'little self' never at any time had any existence outside your imagination, you will not be concerned about ways and means of getting rid of it. Q.: It is all very clear but I feel I need some help. I am not sure that i can generate this conviction by myself. AS.: The desire for assistance is part of your problem. Don't make the mistake of imagining that there is a goal to be reached or attained. If you think like this you will start looking for methods to practice and people to help you. This just perpetuates the problem you are trying to end. Instead, cultivate the strong awareness, 'I am the Self. I am That. I am Brahman. I am everything.'.. The best way to (stop believing the wrong ideas about yourself) is to replace them with ideas which more accurately reflect the real state of affairs. ... The Self is always attained, it is always realized; it is not something that you have to seek, reach or discover. Your vasanas and all the wrong ideas you have about yourself are blocking and hiding the experience of the real Self. If you don't identify with these wrong ideas, your Self-nature will not be hidden from you.

POST

15:

Q: You say that everything is the Self, even maya. If this is so, why cant I see the Self clearly ? If this is so, why can't I see the Self clearly ? Why is it hidden from me ? AS: Because you are looking in the wrong direction. You have the idea that the Self is something that you see or experience . This is not so. The Self is the Awareness or consciousness in which the seeing and the experiencing take place. Even if you don't see the Self, the Self is still there. Bhagavan some times remarked humorously: "People just open a newspaper and glance through it. Then they sau , ' I have seen the paper'. But really they haven't seen the paper , they have only seen the letters without the paper, but people always forget the paper while they are reading the words "

Bhagavan would then use this analogy to show that while people see the names and forms that appear on the screen of consciousness, they ignore the screen itself. With this kind of partial vision its easy to come to the conclusion that all forms are unconnected with each other and separate from the peron who sees them. If people were to be aware of the consciousness instead of the forms that appear in it, they would realize that all forms are just appearances which manifest within the one invisible consciousness. That consciousness is the Self that you are looking for. You can be that consciousness but you can never see it because its not something that is separate from you. Pg: 265-6 This POST of Annamalai is 271-2, Swami Living 's living by called by the the words of of bhagavan. Recognition. bhagavan

16:pg

words

Continuous inhalation and exhalation are necessary for continuation of life. Continuous meditation is necessary for all those who want to stay in the Self. You divide your life up into different activities: "I am eating", "I am meditating", "I am working", etc. If you have ideas like these you are still identifiying with the body. Get rid of all these ideas and replace them with the single thought , "I am Self", Hold onto that idea and dont let it go. Dont give these "I am the body" ideas any attention. "I must eat now", "I will go to sleep now", "I will have a bath now", all thoughts like these are I am the body thoughts. Learn to recognize them when they arise and learn to ignore them or deny them. Stay firmly seated in the Self and dont allow the mind to identify with anything that the body does. POST 17

Here is a conversation between annamalai swami and Ramana , pg 234 of Living by the words of bhagavan. Quote "Does Samadhi mean that one is unaware of everything ?" , I asked. "No," said Bhagavan. "Mediation will go on without our effort. That is Samadhi" "Then what is Sahaja Samadhi ?", I asked. Bhagavan answered by saying , " In that state meditation will always be going on. In that State the thought , 'I am meditating' or 'I am not meditating' will not occur". I then asked Bhagavan about periods in meditation when I was only aware of an allpervasive blankness. "Sometimes nothing is seen", I said. "Is this good?" Bhagavan did not seem to approve of all these states, "In the beginning", he said, "It is good if meditators meditate with Self Awareness". The state of Sahaja Samadhi contined to intrigue me. A few weeks later I asked him another question about it, "Can one practise sahaja samadhi right from the beginning?" Bhagavan replied by saying that one could. "But how to practise it ", I asked. "And how does one practise nirvikalpa samadhi ? How many different kinds of samadhi are there ?"

"There is only one kind of Samadhi", Said Bhagavan , "not many kinds. To remain temporarily subsided in the reality without any thought is nirvikalpa Samadhi. Permanently abiding in the Self without forgetting it is Sahaja Samadhi. Both will give the same happiness" Post 18: This is Page From 267, living by the with words of bhagavan :

conversations

Annamalai

Swami

Quote Nothing can cause bondage for the Jnani because his mind is dead. In the absence of mind he knows himself only as consciousness. Because the mind is dead, he is no longer able to identify himself with the body. But even though he knows that he is not the body, its a fact that the body is still alive. That body will continue to live, and the Jnani will continue to be aware of it, until its own karma is exhausted. Because the jnani is aware of the body, he will also be aware of the thoughts and vasanas that arise in that body. None of these vasanas has the power to cause bondage for him because he never identifies with them, but they do have the power to make the body behave in certain ways. The body of the jnani enjoys and experiences thses vasanas although the jnani himself is not affected by them. that is why its some times said that for the jnani there are bhoga vasanas but no bandha vasanas. The bhoga vasanas differ from jnani to jnani. some jnanis may accumulate wealth, some may sit in silence; some may study the sastras while others may remain illiterate; some may get married and raise families but others may become celibate monks. it is the bhoga vasanas which determine the kind of lifestyle a jnani will lead. The jnani is aware of the consequences of these vasanas without identifying with them. Because of this he never falls back into samsara again. The vasanas arise because of habits and practices of previous life times. that is why they differ from jnani to jnani. When vasanas rise in ordinary people who still identify with the body and the mind, they cause likes and dislikes. some vasanas are embraced whole heartedly while others are rejected as being undesirable. These likes and dislikes generate desires and fears which in turn produce more karma. while you are still making judgements about what is good and what is bad, you are identifying with the mind and making new karmas for yourself. when new karma has been created like this, it means that you have to take another birth to enjoy it. The jnani's body carries out all the acts which are destined for it. But because the jnani makes no judgements about what is good or bad, and because he has no likes and dislikes, he is not creating any new karma for himself. because he knows that he is not the body, he can witness all its activities without getting involved in them in any way. There will be no rebirth for the jnani because once the mind has been destroyed, there is no possibility of any new karma being created.

POST Annamalai Swami pg 24 of Final Talks

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Quote Everything we see in this waking state is a dream. These dreams are our thoughts made manifest. Bad thoughts make bad dreams and good thoughts make good dreams, and if you have no thoughts , you dont dream at all. But even if you do dream, you must understand that your dream is also the Self. You dont have to supress thoughts or be absolutely thoughtless to abide as the SElf. If you know that even your waking and sleeping dreams are the Self, then the thoughts and the dreams they produce can do on. They will not be a problem for you any more. Just be the Self at all times. In this state you will know that everything that appears to you is just a dream. in pg 25, he further explains: Quote The waking state which you take to be real, is just an unfolding of dream that has appeared to you and minifested in front of you on account of some hidden desires or fears. Your vasanas sprout and expand miraculously , creating a whole waking-dream world for you. See it as a dream. Recognize that it is just an expansion of your thoughts. Dont lose sight of the Self, the substratum on which this vast believable dream is projected. IF you hold onto the knowledge "I am Self", you will know that the dreams are laso the Self, and you wont get entangled in them. POST 20:

When the mind appears every morning don't jump to the usual conclusion, "This is me; these thoughts are mine." Instead, watch these thoughts come and go without identifying with them in any way. If you can resist the impulse to claim each and every thought as your own, you will come to a startling conclusion: you will discover that you are the consciousness in which the thoughts appear and disappear. You are allowed to run free. Like the snake which appears in the rope, you will discover that the mind is only an illusion which appears through ignorance or misperception. You want some experience which will convince you that what I am saying is true. You can have that experience if you give up your life-long habit of inventing an 'I' which claims all thoughts as 'mine'. Be conscious of yourself as consciousness alone, watch all the thoughts come and go. Come to the conclusion, by direct experience, that you are really consciousness itself, not its ephemeral contents. Clouds come and go in the sky but the appearance and disappearance of the clouds doesn't affect the sky. Your real nature is like the sky, like space. Just remain like the sky and let thought-clouds come and go. If you cultivate this attitude of indifference towards the mind, gradually you will cease to identify yourself with it

Annamalai Swami- Speaks on Sexuality

Annamalai Swami is an Disciple of Raman Maharshi. When Annamalai Swami was staying at the Ashram of Sri Raman Maharshi, he was given charge of constructing more buildings for the Ashram. Annamalai Swami was some times troubled by sexual thoughts but some how he used to avoid the thoughts. Amongst the construction workers there were some very attractive females and occasionally, Annamalai Swami were attracted to them. Once he expelled all the female workers so that he can avoid them. But Raman Maharshi stressed him to employ them. Once he told Ramana Maharshi that he doesnt want Moksha but he wants to get rid of the desire for women. Raman Maharshi laughingly said all saints are striving only for this. From Raman Maharshi answer, Annamalai Swami was assured that he was not alone in this suffering. But one afternoon Annamalai Swami was sitting in his room, when he saw a beautiful woman going to meet Raman Maharshi. After some time when that woman came out of room, Annamalai Swami was totally captivated by her beauty and lust. Suddenly Raman Maharshi came out and asked Annamalai Swami to stand on a particular rock and Maharshi started conversing with him. The sun was at its peak and Annamalai Swami was not wearing any sandals. So soon his feet starts burning from heat but he could not change his feet as it was an order from Maharshi. The pain in his feet started increasing and suddenly a thought arises in him that the pain he is experiencing has replaced the sexual desire. As the thought entered his mind, Ramana Maharshi abruptly ended conversation and left him. After some days Annamalai Swami was again disturbed by sexual thoughts to the extent that he could not eat or sleep properly for three days. At last he thought of taking Maharshis help. Maharshi advised him Why you pay attention to evil thought? Why dont you meditate? To whom does this thought came. The thought will leave you on its own accord. You are not the body nor the mind, you are the Self, Meditate on your Self and all desires will leave you.

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Annamalai Swami: Initially, abidance in the Self may not be firm and irreversible. Vigilance may be needed to maintain it. There is a verse in Kaivalya Navaneeta that Bhagavan often quoted. It speaks of the need for vigilance even after the Self has been experienced for the first time. In this verse the disciple is speaking to his Guru: 'Lord, you are the reality remaining as my inmost Self, ruling me during all my countless incarnations! Glory to you who have put on an external form to instruct me. I do not see how I can repay your grace for having liberated me. Glory! Glory to your holy feet!' The Guru replies:

'To stay fixed in the Self without the three kinds of obstacles [ignorance, uncertainty and wrong knowledge] obstructing your experience, is the highest return you can render me.' The Guru knows that without vigilance, an initial experience of the Self may slip away. Q: Why is this experience not enough?

Annamalai Swami: If vasanas are still there, they will rise up again and the experience will be lost. While they are there, there is always the possibility that we may again take the unreal to be real. If we take the mirage to be real water, that is ignorance. Similarly, if we take the unreal body to be the Self, that is also ignorance. As soon as ignorance comes, you must question it. 'To whom does this ignorance come?' A strong determination to pursue enquiry in this way will dissolve all doubts. By questioning 'Who am I?' and by constantly meditating, one

comes

to

the

clarity

of

being.

As long as vasanas continue to exist they will rise and cover the reality, obscuring awareness of it. As often as you become aware of them, question, 'To whom do they come?' This continuous enquiry will establish you in your own Self and you will have no further problems. When you know that the snake of the mind never existed, when you know that the rope of reality is all that exists, doubts and fears will not trouble you again. ~ Annamalai Swami, Final Talks, edited by David Godman . Annamalai Swami recorded conversations with Bhagavan in the late 1930s.

The following questions were asked by an aristocratic- looking American lady. Bhagavan's answers are a succinct summery of his practical teachings.

Q.: What is the truth that I have to attain? Please explain it and show it to me.

Bhagavan: What we have to attain and what is desired by everyone is endless happiness. Although we seek to attain it in various ways, it is not something to be sought or attained as a new experience. Our real nature is the 'I' feeling which is always experienced by everyone. It is within us and nowhere else. Although we are always experiencing it, our minds are

wandering, always seeking it, thinking in ignorance it is something apart from us. This is like a person saying with his own tongue that he has no tongue.

Q.: If that is so, why did so many sadhanas come to be created? Bhagavan: The sadhanas came to be formed only to get rid of the thought that the Self is something to be newly attained. The root of the illusion is the thought which ignores the Self and thinks instead, 'I am this body'. After this thought rises it expands in a moment into several thousand thoughts and conceals the Self. The reality of the Self will only shine if all these thoughts are removed. Afterwards, what remains is only Brahmananda, the bliss of Brahman.

Q.: I am now sitting peacefully without the thought 'I am this body'. Is this the state of reality?

Bhagavan: This state must remain as it is without any change. If it changes after a while you will know that other thoughts have Q.: What is the way to not get rid of other gone. thoughts?

Bhagavan: They can only be removed through the powerful effect of the enquiry, 'To whom have these thoughts come'

An Interview with Annamalai Swami

The following is transcribed from a November 1989 videotaped interview with Annamalai Swami. J.Jayaraman was the interviewer and James Hartel the videographer. Some of this interview is featured in the Guru Ramana, His Living Presence video production.

Coming to Bhagavan
I came from Tondanguruchi where I had a stall to distribute water to the needy. One day somebody showed me the book Nan Yar (Who Am I?). I saw Bhagavan's picture and was instantly captivated. I hastened to Tiruvannamalai the very same day, which happened to be a full moon day. When I arrived at Tiruvannamalai, I chanced to meet Seshadri Swami near the Rettai Pillaiyar Koil, close to the big temple, and received his blessings. I then went to Sri Bhagavan. When I came to the Ashram there was just a shed over the Mother's shrine and Bhagavan was seated there. I also saw Gopal Rao, who was building the Old Hall. [Before coming to Tiruvannamalai] I had had a dream in which Bhagavan was coming down the Hill. I went up to him and washed his feet with water. On drinking that water, I felt speechless and senseless. When I came here, Bhagavan was coming from the Hill, but nothing else happened like in the dream. I had read a little before coming here. However, it is true that Bhagavan literally taught me how to read and write. When I asked Bhagavan what bondage and liberation meant, Muruganar was astonished that I did not even know the fundamentals of Advaitic teachings. Bhagavan only laughed in reply. In the course of my work, I once overheard Muruganar sing a line from a Tamil verse, which means, "Even fools have become extremely wise by coming to Bhagavan." I am sure that Muruganar was referring to me when he sang this song.

Major Chadwick
When Chadwick arrived in Tiruvannamalai he mistook me for Bhagavan and prostrated before me. I then took him to Bhagavan. Also, I was asked to vacate the room I had been occupying at that time, in favor of Chadwick. Chadwick did

not like this and said that if I vacated he would not stay at the Ashram. It was then agreed that the two of us would share the room. This is how I became very friendly with Chadwick. He appreciated my hard work and sincerity. I even used to learn a little bit of English from Chadwick. Chadwick gave me an umbrella, shaded eyeglasses and sandals to use when I was supervising or working in the hot sun. Once, when Bhagavan came by, I tried to remove all three. Then Bhagavan came near me and chided me, saying, "If you behave like this on seeing me, I will never come near you." The irony is that some others in the Ashram used to scoff at me for wearing these in Bhagavan's presence. I was in a dilemma because it was Bhagavan who insisted that I behave normally, or He would not come near me. If you got up from your seat when Bhagavan passed by, He wouldn't be happy and would say, "So you are showing off your bhakti. Why not behave normally even when I come."

Construction Work
I knew nothing about masonry work before coming here. Although my father was proficient in masonry, sculpture, astrology and other fine arts, I knew none of these when I came to Bhagavan. Bhagavan taught me everything. One day, Thenamma Paati asked Bhagavan how I could apply my mind to supervise all the construction work that was going on and still be devoted to Bhagavan. Bhagavan laughed and remarked that I should have been an engineer in my previous birth. It was in very subtle ways that Bhagavan extracted work from the devotees. During my early days with Bhagavan, he once told me, "Go and see what the mason is doing." So I went there, asked him what he was doing and conveyed the reply to Bhagavan. After sometime, Bhagavan again asked me to go and see what the mason was doing. I complied. The mason was a little annoyed, but made the same reply. When Bhagavan asked me to go and see what the mason was doing for the third time, the mason thought that Bhagavan was mad as he was just asking him the same question again and again. I now asked Bhagavan why he kept repeating the same question. That is when he came out with his intentions and said, .Someone can attend to the work here. You go and supervise that work." I reflected that Bhagavan could have told me this in the first instance itself, or just ordered me to go and do it. But that wasn't Bhagavan's way. He was very subtle, shy, and very gentle. Bhagavan would indicate with only a few words or signs. Bhagavan used to say, "This whole place is going to be very active with many buildings." Some of His comments were hard to believe because no indication of such things was found then.

When the storeroom was being built, Bhagavan wanted me to make an image of Arunachala in cement. I honestly felt that I was overworked, not getting enough rest. Also, I was feeling a little dejected. A little later, Bhagavan came back and said, "I thought I could make that request, but if that's difficult for you, don't bother with it." I felt badly about the thoughts I had entertained and resolved that in the future I would definitely undertake and fulfill any of Bhagavan's requests, even if that should mean sacrificing my body. It was a solemn pledge I made to myself. Bhagavan was very particular about doing things meticulously and perfectly. On all cupboards and other furniture, the name "Sri Ramanasramam, Tiruvannamalai" had to be written very neatly, just like printed letters. Bhagavan insisted that I should draw the image of Arunachala on the wall of the Ashram Store. When it did not come out properly, Bhagavan came and instructed me. However, it did not come out the second time as well. Bhagavan once again gave me a few hints and I managed to get it right the third time, and it can be seen at the store entrance even today. The three dimensional aspect is also visible on account of the cement being plastered accordingly. The same thing happened with the arch of the Ashram entrance. Bhagavan would encourage me to take up such work, and whenever I had difficulty, Bhagavan would come, give hints, and encourage me to do it perfectly. One day I was feeling tired and was reclining against a wall. Bhagavan came up to me and said, "I'm afraid to even look at you." I asked Him why that should be so. He said, "If I would just look in one direction, you would construct a structure there." This was of course in jest but it also meant that I could understand Bhagavan's subtle instructions and follow them meticulously. This was great appreciation showered upon me by Sri Bhagavan. Once I was about to construct some steps when Bhagavan came and hit me three times. I had been asked to repair some dilapidated steps behind the Dining Hall. In those days money and materials were scarce. I asked Ramaswami Pillai to get three or four measures of cement. Now, in Tamil, the word 'padi' stands for both 'measure' as well as for 'steps'. Bhagavan asked me, "How many padis?" meaning how many steps I was constructing. I thought he wanted to know how many measures of cement I was ordering. Bhagavan gave me a playful slap and said, "I'm asking about one padi, and you are answering about another." On another occasion, I was building some steps near the water tap. Bhagavan was standing there and giving me instructions. As I got up, I banged my head hard against the tap. Bhagavan asked Madhavaswami to bring zambak (medicinal ointment), and personally massaged my head for a long time. Though I had pain in my head, I kept reminding myself of Bhagavan's teaching, which was to give up the 'I am-the-body' idea. I also thanked the tap for giving me this opportunity to receive a massage from the golden this opportunity to receive a massage from the golden hands of Sri Bhagavan.

In the earlier days, Madhavaswami, Rangaswami and I used to massage the soles of Bhagavan's feet with oil, and put our heads against His feet to receive His grace after completing the massage. Bhagavan used to pretend to be asleep when we did this. However, when large crowds started coming to the Ashram regularly, we had to stop this practice of ours. When the Dining Hall was being built, Bhagavan used to dig the earth with a huge gaddapare (crowbar) and Santhamma used to mix mortar with water. I was entrusted with the mason's work. While we worked on the construction Thenamma and Subbu-lakshmiamma used to do the cooking nearby. As I was not a brahmin, the women used a large white cloth as a partition between them and us. Bhagavan told them, "Why are you doing this? It's only our Annamalai. Why should you segregate him like this?" Chinnaswami, on hearing this said, "Bhagavan says 'our Annamalai', so he has become an ichcha brahmin", i.e., a brahmin by the wish of Sri Bhagavan.

Disturbing Ants
One day after lunch we noticed lots of ants in the Old Hall disturbing the devotees. Bhagavan asked me to inspect the area and do the needful. When I went and lifted a stone, millions of ants rushed out. I was jumping all over in order to avoid crushing them. When Bhagavan asked me what I was doing, I explained that it would be jivahimsa to kill hundreds and thousands of ants by stepping upon them or by closing the opening through which they came out. He said, "You are not doing it for yourself, it is for the sake of others." He then quoted from Chapter thirteen of Bhagavad Gita where Krishna says that even killing is permitted if it is for the benefit of the world. Upon hearing this, I cleared the area of ants, sealed the entrance and cemented it. In the days when I still used to live in the Ashram, I once told Bhagavan that I didn't even desire moksha, but just wanted to be saved from the attractions of women. I was wondering what reply Bhagavan would give. He said that it was freedom from this desire that all great people had sought and suffered for.

Fleeing to Polur
Bhagavan always taught jnanamarga, yet when we went out, no one ever talked about jnanamarga or even bhaktimarga. And since at that time I felt that whatever bhakti I had, had evaporated, I was feeling that Bhagavan did not want me to stay there.

I walked without any food for two days, and was weak and exhausted by the time I reached Polur. I begged at Nair Mangalam's place and many other places with no luck. None wished to give me alms. In fact one person wondered why I had to leave a holy place like Tiruvannamalai and wander elsewhere. All these events discouraged me. I had heard that if one stood chest deep in water, it would aid in withstanding hunger. I did that in a tank just outside Polur for a while before leaving for the samadhi of Vithoba in Polur. In the afternoon on the third day, a lady took pity at my plight and offered me two glasses full of thin gruel. This helped me regain some of my strength. I then plucked a little flower in order to toss it up to divine if I should go back to the Ashram or leave Bhagavan permanently and go out as a wandering mendicant. The flower toss-up indicated that I should go back to Bhagavan and I began walking back promptly. That's when the owner of a small roadside hotel invited me in and fed me sumptuously with great reverence. Besides, he also gave me two rupees for my travel expenses. I took this as a good omen and a vindication of my decision to return to Bhagavan. I boarded the train to Tiruvannamalai without a ticket. However, while the ticket examiner checked all other passengers, he totally ignored me. Similarly, when I got down at Tiruvannamalai, the stationmaster, who usually checks all the tickets, let me through saying that he had already checked my ticket. I went straight to Bhagavan and narrated all that had happened. Bhagavan graciously said, "How could you go away? You have so much work to do here, and unless that is finished, how could you go?" I was standing near Bhagavan and He gave me a steady look of Grace. I felt that Bhagavan was quoting the song from the supplement to the forty verses which

means "When you have the association of great men, where is the need for following the usual injunctions expected of a seeker, like going on a yatra, remaining? in mouna, etc." This song came to my mind, though Bhagavan had not uttered a word. That gave me great confidence and I declared in the presence of Bhagavan that I would stay put and do whatever Bhagavan asked of me. Bhagavan smiled at me, and gave me another look of Grace. There are many instances when Bhagavan showered grace by his look. On seeing this Sivalinga tied to my left arm, Bhagavan repeatedly said, "You have the Lord tied to your hand. What more do you want?" It was my father who had this Linga tied to my arm. The Tamil religious calendar says that, upon rising every morning one should look at the sun in one's right hand, and at a Linga in the left. As I was interested in following this injunction, it was suggested that I could have a Linga tattooed on my hand. But my father preferred a Linga itself to be tied to my left hand. Bhagavan used to repeatedly tell me, "God is in your own hands. What shortcomings can you face in your life?"

Animals
Bhagavan was extraordinarily kind towards birds, squirrels, cows, dogs and peacocks. In fact, He showed visible partiality towards animals over humans. Once a big dove fell down on being attacked by a vulture. Bhagavan personally attended to the bird and treated it with zambak and other oils. He massaged its head, and kept the dove for the whole day. The next day when He asked me to bring the dove to Him, the bird had by then recovered so much that it flew off. I was present when the crow, towards which Bhagavan showed extraordinary kindness, died in His hands; so also Jacki the dog, and Valli the deer. When the samadhi was being built for Valli, I was very thin and could easily go inside the tiny dome to do the plastering work. Bhagavan used to stand outside and hand me chuna and other material, and helped me complete the samadhi. The crow was very fortunate to die in His hands. Bhagavan was particularly interested in rituals for the samadhis of the birds and animals and wanted special pujas to be done for such samadhis with offerings of milk, etc. Many people used to witness this with awe and wonder. Once, as Bhagavan was descending the steps near the Valli deer's samadhi, he saw a dog chasing a squirrel. Bhagavan tried to prevent the dog from harming the squirrel by interposing his stick in between them. In the process, He stumbled and fell down the steps, suffering bruises all over his body. Tincture was applied all over, which causes a burning sensation. Plaster was applied on all the wounds, and there are even photographs of Bhagavan with plaster all

over His body. Bhagavan underwent such suffering even for animals. We all have witnessed these phases in Bhagavan's life.

Moving to Palakottu
I moved to Palakottu during the time when the Dining Hall was being built under my supervision. One day Yogi Ramaya was accompanying Bhagavan and told him that I had become very weak from so much hard work, and that I should be released from this strain. Bhagavan also said, "Yes, yes, he should be given freedom." Resolving to put an end to the tension and mental suffering, I went up the hill to meet Bhagavan and requested permission to stay in Palakottu. Bhagavan said, "Yes, Yes, that's good for you," and he repeated it thrice. A little later I went into the bathroom when Bhagavan was being given an oil bath. Madhavaswami, His attendant, remarked that many sadhus are known to take ganja (hemp) and asked him how one would feel on consuming ganja. Bhagavan then suddenly got up and holding me by the shoulder, said, "It will only be like this." I felt such a great joy when he held me that I handed over the keys of my room to Bhagavan immediately and left for Palakottu. When I left the Ashram, I had no thoughts about where I would stay, or what I would do for food. Munagala Venkatramaiah gave me shelter at Palakottu and I cooked my own food. Bhagavan used to occasionally inquire about my cooking and made encouraging comments. For instance, if I told him that I made just one sambhar, he would say, "Oho! one sambhar! That's very good." Once when I had more than one eatable to offer Bhagavan, he remarked, "Just like Annamalai, Annanamalayar has Mandavapadi." Bhagavan was comparing his receiving food at the Ashram, as well as at other places, to the idol of Annamalai in the Arunachaleswara Temple, which stops at each Mandap and is offered food. Bhagavan had come to this place and even had some food cooked by me. <1-- mp3.2 --> No Desires, No Sorrow sorrow, desire sorrows. away, earth. fulfilled, realizes

He who has no desires has no But where there is There will be ever-increasing When desire, sorrow's sorrow, dies Undying bliss prevails, even here on It is the nature of desire never to be But he who utterly gives it up Eternal Fulfillment at that very moment.

Whenever I was engaged in construction work at the Ashram or at Palakottu, Bhagavan would inspect my work and instruct me. Once Bhagavan visited me when I was removing the scaffolding from my house, as I could not complete the construction for want of money. When I told Bhagavan the reason, he said, "Oho! So you have to remove this scaffolding for the sake of money?" and went away. That same evening, a lady came from Ramaswami, stayed here for a month, and donated Rs.100. This house was completed with that money, along with help from Vaikuntavasagar. I shall tell you the story of how this house was designed. My friend Arumugham and I were planning to build a small thatched shed for me to live in. Bhagavan heard our discussions from afar and inquired about our plans from Arumugham. He then asked many leading questions related to the design of the house. "Will you use mortar, lime, bricks, etc.?" he asked. "Will the house have an upper floor? Will there be a mortared top?" etc. Thus, without saying so explicitly, Bhagavan conveyed to Arumugham the design he had in mind for my house. Arumugham settled for that very plan and bought 4000 bricks the next day, along with lime-making equipment for a small lime factory. This look of Bhagavan made Arumugham a big contractor years later.

Do Not Move Out

One day He told me very clearly and sternly. "Don't move out anywhere. Stay put here and don't move to the next house or even the next room." After moving to Palakottu I used to come to Bhagavan every day at around eight at night, after dinner, which was served at 7:30, and stay till about 9:00 o'clock. One night I saw Bhagavan completely enclosed in a piece of cloth, except for the nose. I used to converse freely with Bhagavan, like a son with his father. I asked him, "Does this mean that you do not like to meet me here, or is it that you don't want me to come to the Ashram at all?" Bhagavan remained silent. At about 9 o'clock I left the Hall. I was nearing the garden thinking about Bhagavan's directive to me to stay put at Palakottu when I heard Him call me. He beckoned me to him and said in a very strong and stern voice, "He who, despite the right spiritual maturity, thinks that he is different from the Lord will reach the same lower state as does a non-believer." I felt that Bhagavan was telling me not to move out of Palakottu, not even to visit the Ashram. I have never left Palakottu since.

Shadow Bhagavan
Once, there were films being shown at the Ashram, including one on Bhagavan. I wanted to see the film. When I arrived and prostrated before Bhagavan, He said in a stern voice. "So you have come to see the shadow of Bhagavan. This means

that you no longer have the real Bhagavan in you and have hence come to see this shadow-Bhagavan." This touched me very deeply. One day, after this incident, I went up the hill wanting to meet Bhagavan when he returned from his walk. He again looked at me sternly and said, "Why have you come to see me? You have happiness, you have happiness." I couldn't understand his words then, but after a lot of reflection I realized that when one is away from society, one has peace, and that Bhagavan wanted me to avoid the entire society. This is how I interpreted His words. Bhagavan also said, "Ananda is not what you get from somewhere else. If you follow somebody else's path, it will only lead you to destruction. You have to follow your own self. Go within. That alone will lead you to Ananda." So I interpreted it to mean that I should be alone.

Annamalai Swami. On the Self

Question: You say that everything is the Self, even maya. If this is so, why cant I see the Self clearly? Why is it hidden from me? Annamalai Swami: Because you are looking in the wrong direction. You have the idea that the Self is something that you see or experience. This is not so. The Self is the awareness or the consciousness in which the seeing and the experiencing take place. Even if you dont see the Self, the Self is still there. Bhagavan sometimes remarked humorously: People just open a newspaper and glance through it. Then they say, I have seen the paper. But really they havent seen the paper, they have only seen the letters and pictures that are on it. There can be no words or pictures without the paper, but people always forget the paper while they are reading the words. Bhagavan would then use this analogy to show that while people see the names and forms that appear on the screen of consciousness, they ignore the screen itself. With this kind of partial vision it is easy to come to the conclusion that all forms are unconnected with each other and separate from the person who sees them. If people were to be aware of the consciousness instead of the forms that appear in it, they would realise that all forms are just appearances which manifest within the one indivisible consciousness. That consciousness is the Self that you are looking for. You can be that consciousness but you can never see it because it is not something that is separate from you.

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Only One Real Choice Annamalai Swami

Question: Bhagavan (Ramana Maharshi) once remarked that free will is non-existent, that all our activities are predetermined and that our only real choice is either to identify with the body that is performing the actions or with the underlying Self in which the body appears. Someone once said to him: If I drop this fan, will that be an act that has always been destined to happen in this moment? And Bhagavan replied, It will be a predestined act. I assume that these predestined acts are all ordained by God, and that as a consequence, nothing happens that is not Gods will, because we, as individuals, have no power to deviate from Gods ordained script. A question arises out of this. If I remember the Self, is this Gods will? And if I forget to remember at a certain moment, is this also Gods will? Or, taking my own case, if I make an effort to listen to the sound I-I, is this Gods will, or is it individual effort?

Annamalai Swami: Forgetfulness of the Self happens because of non-enquiry. So I say, Remove the forgetfulness through enquiry. Forgetfulness or non-forgetfulness is not a part of your destiny. It is something you can choose from moment to moment. That is what Bhagavan said. He said that you have the freedom either to identify with the body and its activities, and in doing so forget the Self, or you can identify with the Self and have the understanding that the body is performing its predestined activities, animated and sustained by the power of the Self. If you have an oil lamp and you forget to put oil in it, the light goes out. It was your forgetfulness and your lack of vigilance that caused the light to go out. Your thoughts were elsewhere. They were not on tending the lamp. In every moment you only have one real choice: to be aware of the Self or to identify with the body and the mind. If you choose the latter course, dont blame God or Gods will, or predestination. God did not make you forget the Self. You yourself are making that choice every second of your life. -Annamalai Swami

Discrimination Annamalai Swami

Question: All is one may be the truth, but one cant treat everything in the world equally. In daily life one still has to discriminate and make distinctions. Annamalai Swami: I once went for a walk near the housing board buildings [government flats that were built in the 1970s about 300 metres from Annamalai Swamis ashram]. There was a sewage trench on one side of the building. I could smell the stench of the sewage even though I was a long way away. I stayed away from it because I didnt want to be nauseated by the bad smell. In circumstances such as these you dont say, All is one. Everything is the Self, and paddle through the sewage. The knowledge everything is the Self may be there, but that doesnt mean that you have to put yourself in dangerous or health-threatening places. When you have become one with the Self, a great power takes you over and runs your life for you. It looks after your body; it puts you in the right place at the right time; it makes you say the right things to the people you meet. This power takes you over so completely, you no longer have any ability to decide or discriminate. The ego that thinks, I must do this, or I should not do that, is no longer there. The Self simply animates you and makes you do all the things that need to be done. If you are not in this state, then use your discrimination wisely. You can choose to sit in a flower garden and enjoy the scent of the blooms, or you can go down to that trench I told you about and make yourself sick by inhaling the fumes there. So, while you still have an ego, and the power of discrimination that goes with it, use it to inhale the fragrance that you find in the presence of an enlightened being. If you spend time in the proximity of a jnani, his peace will sink into you to such an extent that you will find yourself in a state of peace. If, instead, you choose to spend all your time with people whose minds are always full of bad thoughts, their mental energy and vibrations will start to seep into you. I tell you regularly, You are the Self. Everything is the Self. If this is not your experience, pretending that all is one may get you into trouble. Advaita may be the ultimate experience, but it is not something that mind that still sees distinctions can practice.

Electricity is a useful form of energy, but it is also potentially harmful. Use it wisely. Dont put your finger in the socket, thinking all is one. You need a body that is in good working order in order to realise the Self. Realising the Self is the only useful and worthy activity in this life, so keep the body in good repair till that goal is achieved. Afterwards, the Self will take care of everything and you wont have to worry about anything anymore. In fact, you wont be able to because the mind that previously did the worrying, the choosing and the discriminating will no longer be there. In that state you wont need it and you wont miss it. -Annamalai Swami

Ramana Maharshi Devotee Annamalai Swami

(Extracted from Face to Face with Sri Ramana Maharshi)

Annamalai Swami (1906-1995) since his childhood had a natural inclination towards spirituality. He came to Sri Ramana in 1928 and got a job with the Ashram. After being closely involved in many construction projects for ten years under direct supervision of Sri Ramana, he shifted to Palakottu near the Ashram to live alone and meditate. In 1928, a wandering sadhu gave me a copy of Upadesa Undiyar by Sri Ramana. It contained a photo of the Maharshi. As soon as I saw the photo I had the feeling that this was my Guru. Simultaneously, an intense desire arose within me to go and see him. That night I had a dream in which I saw the Maharshi walking from the lower slopes of the hill towards the Ashram. Next morning I decided to go and have his darshan . Having arrived at about 1 p.m., when I approached the hall, a part of the dream I had repeated itself in real life. I saw Bhagavan walk down the hill as I had seen in the dream. When I sat down and Bhagavan gazed at me in silence for about 10-15 minutes, I had a great feeling of physical relief and relaxation. It was like immersing myself in a cool pool after being in the hot sun. I asked for permission to stay, which was granted and I got a job as Bhagavan's attendant. At that time Madhava Swami was doing the job by himself. About ten days after my arrival I asked Bhagavan how I could attain Selfrealisation? He replied, "If you give up identifying with the body and meditate on the Self,you can attain Self-realisation." As I was pondering over these remarks, Bhagavan surprised me by saying,"I was waiting for you. I was wondering when you would come." As a new comer I was too afraid to ask him how he knew, or how long he had been waiting. But I was delighted to hear him speak like this because it seemed to indicate that it was my destiny to stay with him.

A few days later I asked, "Scientists have invented and produced the aircraft which can travel at great speeds in the sky. Why do you not give us a spiritual aircraft in which we can quickly and easily cross over the sea of samsara?'' Bhagavan replied, "The path of self-enquiry is the aircraft you need. It is direct, fast,and easy to use. You are already travelling very quickly towards realisation. It is only because of your mind that it seems that there is no movement." In the years that followed, I had many spiritual talks with Bhagavan but his basic message never changed. It was always: "Do selfenquiry, stop identifying with the body and try to be aware of the Self, which is your real nature." When I first came to the Ashram there were still some leopards in the area. They rarely came into the Ashram but at night they frequented the place where Bhagavan used to urinate. Once when a leopard appeared he was not in the least afraid. He just looked at the leopard and said, Poda [Go away!] and the leopard walked away. Soon after I came I was given a new name by Bhagavan. My original name was Sellaperumal. One day Bhagavan mentioned that I reminded him of Annamalai Swami, who had been his attendant at the Skandasram. And within a few days my new identity got established. When I had been an attendant for about two weeks,the Collector of Vellore, who came for Bhagavan's darshan , brought a large plate of sweets, which I was to distribute to everyone in the Ashram. While I was distributing the sweets outside the hall I went to a place where no one could see me and secretly helped myself to about double the quantity that I was serving to others. When I went back to the hall and kept the empty plate under Bhagavan's sofa, he looked at me and said, "Did you take twice as much as everyone else?" I was shocked because I was sure that no one had seen me do it. This incident made me realise that it was impossible to hide anything from Bhagavan. After serving as an attendant for a month, Bhagavan asked me to supervise construction work within the Ashram. My big assignment was supervising the construction of the cowshed. The problem was of funds, which came almost under miraculous circumstances. The editor of The Sunday Times, Madras, published a long complimentary article about Bhagavan after he had his darshan . This article came to the attention of a prince in North India, who was much impressed by Bhagavan. Sometime later, the prince went for a tiger hunt. He managed to track down the tiger but when he raised his rifle to shoot, he felt paralysed

by a wave of fear. Suddenly he remembered about Bhagavan and prayed saying, "If successful, I will not only send you Rs.1000, but also donate the head and skin of the tiger." The paralysis left him and he killed the tiger and saved his own life in the process, as the tiger was within attacking distance. Two days after all the quarrels about the size of the cowshed, the postman appeared with Rs. 1,000. Our finances were always in a precarious position but we never experienced any real financial crisis. While the work was going on, enough donations would come to cover all costs. Bhagavan took a keen interest in the construction work, guiding me at all stages of the work. In the evening, when I went to him with my daily report, he would tell me the work to be done the following day. For any difficult jobs he would even explain how to go about it. In the 1930s Bhagavan alone decided when and where the buildings should be built, on what scale and what material be used. He drew up the plans for Ashram buildings, and told me what to do. If instructions were complicated he would sometimes sketch a few lines on a piece of paper to clarify or illustrate what he was saying. When he gave me plans he would always say that it was only a suggestion. He never presumed to give me orders. Bhagavan himself wrote in Tamil Pakasalai in big letters on a piece of paper. These along with the year 1938 and Sri Ramanasramam in devanagari script, appear today on the top of the eastern wall of the dining hall. Bhagavan would frequently come out to see what we were doing. He bombarded us with advice and instructions and would occasionally join in the work himself. But he would say, "I am not connected with any of the activities here. I just witness all that happens. We would start projects when no money was available to pay, happily ignoring all predictions of imminent financial doom made by the sarvadhikari. Bhagavan never asked anyone for money and he forbade the sarvadhikari from asking for donations. Yet somehow enough donations came to complete every building. Once when Bhagavan was very sick, Maurice Frydman gave Rs. 1,000 to the sarvadhikari for buying fruits for Bhagavan. Knowing that Bhagavan would not eat fruits unless everyone else was given an equal share, he avoided use of the money for the purpose. Some months later, Frydman complained to Bhagavan that his donation had not been properly spent.

Bhagavan said rather angrily, "When you give something you should regard the matter as closed. Why use this gift to further your ego?" Annamalai Swami moved to Palakottu (a colony abutting the Ashram) in 1938. Till the end of his life in 1995, he lived peacefully and silently in his little ashram. He also provided spiritual guidance to seekers who wanted his help and guidance.

Annamalai Swami There are so many thoughts in the mind. Thought after thought after thought. But there is one thought that is continuous, though it is mostly sub-conscious: I am the body. This is the string on which all other thoughts are threaded. Once we identify ourselves with the body by thinking this thought, maya follows. It also follows that if we cease to identify with the body, maya will not affect us anymore.

 Annamalai Swami Final Talks p. 14

ALL IS ONE No.1 by V Ganesan

This posting is from a series of sharings given by V Ganesan in the winter of 2008/2009 in Tiruvannamalai. ==================================================================== How to give up the me ? Even to contemplate on its being given up, poses us with an enormous hurdle. No theoretical methods, postulated throughout the past centuries seem to have helped us, at all. The only solution to this Herculean problem, perhaps, lies on a practical, experiential approach to it. Who will guide us with a direct and simple, yet natural experience-oriented practical solution to the dissolution of the me ? Most assuredly, Bhagavan Ramana has already solved the insoluble conundrum ! ANNAMALAI SWAMI had elicited it from the Great Guru, Bhagavan Ramana ; and, years later, he shared it with fellow-seekers. Annamalai Swami came to Sri Bhagavan in 1928 and was made an attendant to the Master. Noticing the potentiality in him as a hard worker, he was entrusted with the supervision of all important construction projects of the then growing up Sri Ramanasramam . He did it with an exemplary zeal, under the direct stewardship of Sri Bhagavan, for ten years from 1928 to 1938. In 1938, he had a great spiritual awakening through an embrace of him by Sri Bhagavan.** That totally changed him. Then on, he wanted to dedicate his whole time in meditation and contemplation. He sought the guidance of the Master. He approved of his living alone outside the Ashram. Sri Bhagavan encouraged him to construct a dwelling at the adjacent Palakottu, helping him with practical advices during the construction. Bhagavan gave a few personal advices, as well; for instance, not to move out towards the southern side of his tenement, but should wander about only towards the north, at the foot of the Hill. Annamalai Swami studiously put that instruction into daily practice to its very letter he had not stepped into the road, which lay on the southern side, the rest of his life ! He had not also moved out of Arunachala, even for a single day ! In Annamalai Swamis own words : I went to Bhagavans bathroom to help him with his morning bath. Madhava Swami and I gave him the usual oil bath and massage. When the bath was over, Madhava Swami asked a question : Bhagavan ! The people who take Ganja Lehiyam [ an Ayurvedic medicine whose principal ingredient is cannabis ] experience some kind of Ananda [ bliss ] . What is the nature of this Ananda ? Is it the same Ananda the scriptures speak of ? Bhagavan replied: Eating this Ganja is a very bad habit. Then, laughing loudly, he came over to me, hugged me and called out : Ananda ! Ananda ! This is how these Ganja-taking people behave ! It was not a brief hug. After the first few seconds I completely lost all awareness of my body and the world. Initially, there was a feeling of bliss and happiness, but this soon gave way to a state in which there were no feelings and no experiences. I did not lose consciousness, I

just ceased to be aware of anything that was going on around me..This experience completely changed my life. As soon as I regained normal consciousness I knew that my working life at the Ashram had come to an end. Sri Bhagavan told him to lead a quiet, reclusive life and to meditate continuously on the Self. After many years of arduous and unremitting effort, he was able to stabilize himself in SelfAwareness, uninterruptedly and with effortless ease. Annamalai Swami pleaded with the Maharshi as how to give up the me . He used the term the little self instead of the me . The Master not only gave him an answer but also totally eradicated the me in him. This is well brought out through a dialogue a Westerner had had with Annamalai Swami, long after the Master had dropped the body. Question : What is the easiest way to be free of the little self ? Annamalai Swami : Stop identifying with it. If you can convince yourself, This little self is not really me , it will just disappear. Q : But, how to do this ? AS : The little self is something which only appears to be real. If you understand that it has no real existence it will disappear, leaving behind it the experience of the real and only Self. Understand that it has no real existence and it will stop troubling you. Consciousness is universal. There is no limitation or little self in it. It is only when we identify ourselves with and limit ourselves to the body and the mind that this false self is born. If, through enquiry, you go to the Source of this little self , you find that it dissolves into nothingness. Q : But, I am very accustomed to feel I am this little self . I cannot break this habit merely by thinking I am not this little self . AS : This little self will give way to the real Self only when you meditate constantly. You cannot wish it away with a few stray thoughts. Try to remember the analogy of the rope which looks like a snake in twilight. If you see the rope as a snake, the real nature of the rope is hidden from you. If you see only the rope, the snake is not there. Not only that, you know that there never was a snake there. When you have that clear and correct perception that the snake never at any time existed, the question of how to kill the snake disappears. Apply this analogy to the little self that you are worrying about. If you can understand that this little self never at any time had any existence outside your imagination, you will not be concerned about ways and means of getting rid of it. ******* Bhagavan Ramana clearly points out that there is only one way not to be affected by the miseries caused by the me : Talks No.532 :

Devotee : Is there no way of escape from the miseries of the world ? Maharshi : There is only one way and that consists in not losing sight of ones Self, under any circumstances. To enquire Who Am I ? is the only remedy for all the ills of the world. It is also perfect Bliss. ************************** Why has Sri Bhagavan been consistent in insisting on one experiencing the Self ? Talks No.536 : The person soaked in the I-am-the-body idea is the greatest sinner and he is a suicide. The experience of I-am-the-Self is the highest virtue. Even a moments dhyana to that effect is enough to destroy all the stored up age-old tendencies [ sanchita karma ] . It works like the Sun before whom darkness is dispelled. If one remains always in dhyana , can any sin, however heinous it be, survive his dhyana ? ************************************* Bhagavan Ramana not only explained why one should do dhyana but also insisted that one should constantly be in touch with ones Self. Talks No.540 : Once Annamalai Swami asked : There is more pleasure in dhyana than in sensual enjoyments. Yet, the mind runs after the latter and does not seek the former. Why is it so ? M : Pleasure or pain are aspects of the mind only. Our essential nature is happiness. But we have forgotten the Self and imagine that the body or the mind is the Self. It is that wrong identity that gives rise to misery. What is to be done ? This vasana [tendencies] is very ancient and has continued for innumerable past births. Hence it has grown strong. That must go before the essential nature, viz., happiness, asserts itself. *************************** Talks No.541 : A certain visitor asked Sri Bhagavan : There is so much misery in the world because wicked men abound in the world. How can one find happiness here ? M : All are gurus to us. The wicked say by their evil deeds, Do not come near me . The good are always good. So then, all persons are like gurus to us. ****************************

Should one not run away to solitude to obtain peace ? Talks No.542 : Annamalai Swami asked : I often desire to live in solitude where I can find all I want with ease, so that I may devote all my time to meditation only. Is such a desire good or bad ? M : Such thoughts will bestow a janma (another birth) for their fulfillment. What does it matter where and how you are placed ? The essential point is that the mind must always remain in its source. There is nothing external which is not also internal. The mind is all. If the mind is active, even solitude becomes like a market place. There is no use closing your eyes. Close the mental eye and all will be right. The world is not external to you. The good persons will not care to make plans previous to their actions. Why so ? For, God who has sent us into the world has His own plan that will certainly work itself out. ****************** In the day-to-day working, one generally experiences that doing good to others one suffers. On the other hand, one doing wicked deeds enjoys happy environments and success. How is it ? This is a common doubt, to all ! Talks No.546 : Annamalai Swami asked : A person does something good but he sometimes suffers pain even in his right activities. Another does something wicked but is also happy. Why should it be so ? Maharshi : Pain or pleasure is the result of past karma (past actions) and not of the present karma. Pain and pleasure alternate with each other. One must suffer or enjoy them patiently without being carried away by them. One must try to hold on to the Self. When one is active one should not care for the results and must not be swayed by the pain or pleasure met with occasionally. He who is indifferent to pain or pleasure can alone be happy. ****************************** Why did Sri Bhagavan repeatedly emphasize the efficacy of Self-enquiry ? Talks No.551 : A man asked Sri Bhagavan : How is it that Atma Vidya is said to be the easiest ? M : Any other vidya (learning) requires a knower, knowledge and the object to be known; whereas this does not require any of them. It is the Self. Can anything be so obvious as that ? Hence it is the easiest. All that you need do is to enquire, Who Am I ?. A mans true name is Mukti (Liberation) .

****************** The topic chosen for this sessions Sharing is entitled : All Is One . What is the significance ? All Is One is an old Tamil publication commended by Sri Bhagavan. This tiny book incorporates ideas of immense use to spiritual aspirants, at every level and of any faith. Sri Bhagavan himself had gone through it and given chapter headings for the benefit of seekers. He told Annamalai Swami to read it if he desired Moksha (Emancipation) . In our next session, we will further deal with it, perhaps, bringing out the worth and greatness of the work.