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january 2013 / ` 100

the key tO StOppInG IS In yOur pantS

ASIAN PLANET

#theekhaI

SPECIAL

2013 planner the fOOty revOlutIOn


whAt hAPPEnS whEn fhM gEtS ItS tEEth Into footbALL

(& A nEw drInk for EvEry dAy of thE nEw yEAr)

the rOllInG StOneS

thE guyS who wILL StEAL your gIrL, burn your houSE And tEACh you roCk

Why the First son


leaders are nuts

and the rest of our

CYClInG

take uP
INDIa eDItIoN Vol 6 Issue 02

we did it For a week ,

Jacqueline Fernandez
The ImporT Issue

AgS b g n I SLEEP nAL oPtIo

actually it Was more like a day...

CLaudia CiesLa Vida samadzaiMahindra rexton Karsh KaLe KinKy apps bageLs

contents
january 2013

58

p50 Jacqueline Fernandez


The hottest thing to come out of Sri Lanka EVER.

sex. drugs, rock n roll hall of fame, jail and more than 2000 gigs hasnt changed the image of the original bad boys of rock

entertaining sport of all time have made us into bicycle converts gets an FHM upgrade. The FHM team reminisces about its childhood with a bunch of really cool cycles. Have you ever

68

Girls still drool over the slightest glimpse of the band and millions still follow them like their first religion. The Rolling Stones has been plagued by switching members and constant tragedies, which has kept the media behind. To know more, flip through their exclusive interview.

The FHM team asks aspiring ones about some of the most inappropriate situations they face.

wondered about the embarrassing moments, wardrobe malfunctions, weird clothes, bitching sessions and insecurities that affect a bikini model?

95

Bin New Year Resolutions with the most informative calendar you will ever get your hands on

64

74

When the real football managers got rebooted

The greatest spectator and


fhmindia.com

The rising fuel prices, neverending traffic jams and tough to crack traffic rules

We present to you a calendar representing a mix of cocktails, shots, whiskey drinks, vodka drinks and martinis for each of the upcoming 365 days. Happy Drinking!

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January 2013

contents regulars
42

20 46

83

22

86

16 God bless delhi police for using expired tear gas shells.

access

You need to know these Indian variants of chillies just in case they order a new set of tear gas shells.

42 This indian american tabla player learnt his skills by watching Pt. Zakir HusSain on TV.

filter

Bapus first reel portrayal turns 30, so we dig out who played him the best.

83 A flashback of the best portrayals

upgrade

w sho at h us w got you

20 When the dead rose from the ashes and came back to rule the world
Well, they didnt come back to rule us, but these famous personalities sure could have after robbers stole their remains or families fought over their ashes and didnt let them RIP

p 90

Karsh Kale on how he managed without the luxury of getting professional training under a qualified music teacher, his gratitude and respect for Pt. Ravi Shankar, who has also been his greatest inspiration and how he just loves to deejay when not mixing his electronica fused Hindi fusion tracks.

84 Questions that
A list of really creepy questions that freak every interviewee out!
back your mojo

always land you in a soup

86 Apps that bring


We chart out apps that help you bin your girlfriend just when she starts acting pricey.

44 Definitely worth
Far Cry 3 has raised the benchmark for all open world games with this edition.
a shout!

Claudia ciesla
The second best dancer in Balma after the chimp.

92 What the heck is


Had these Phablets been any bigger we could have definitely used them as an alternative to a frisbee.
a phablet?

celebrities

22 Half Indian
A list of people we always took pride in just because their ancestry is Indian.

46 Is it even worth a
We test drove the Ssyangyong Rexton, which to us seems like a grade A replicated version of the M class. Also, we hit the roads with Fords bestselling avatar in India, the Figo and find out what its true mettle.
dime?

24 INFamous

94 Smart gadgets

Yes, we still cant digest what they said.


2 January 2013

quotes that were just too hard to digest

FHM gets awestruck by these really cool gadgets.

for smarter people

120 Final

Countdown
fhmindia.com

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Saurav

editors letter
Since the world has not crashed and burnt and the apocalypse has had as much impact as our police on preventing rapes, its safe to assume that the whole self-improvement thing was as much of a sham as global warming. In which case, its the time of the year to make yourself empty promises (read clichd resolutions), which you have no intentions of keeping, so go on and read Final Countdown (page 120) everything from doing something about rape to saving money is in there. You vowed to give up drinking? You wont, which is why our planner for 2013 has a new drink for everyday of the New Year. Since the only other thing you want to know from your calendar are dry days, weve marked out every dry day in India no matter where you are (page 95). You vowed to take up cycling. We did. Truth be told, we didnt take up cycling as much as travelled with them in the boot of the car for a week, took them out for 15 mins for a shoot and promptly returned them, but weve still managed to make some rather informed guesses about which bicycle you should get yourself to get ripped quick. Turn to page 74 to find out what happens when the FHM team with no sense of balance and direction tries to test out four bicycles. Even as the First Son decided to make an ass out of himself and embarrass daddy the President of India with his whole Dented and Painted remark, we made a list of prominent people whove redefined putting a sock in it (page 24). And Delhi Police might have found expired tear gas shells too hot to handle for anti-rape protestors, but we still made a list of the hottest Indian chillies including the one that goes in making bombs (page 16).
4 January 2013

DELH CHILLIES
VARIANTS POPULAR AND OTHERTO YOUR EYES. BRING TEARS OF INDIAN

WILL CHILLIES THAT

1 INCH

I POLICE

COULDNT
UPGRA DE GAD GE TS

HANDLE HOT

OTHER
CHILLIES
NACHETI CHILLIES pungent, They are highly colour in long, solid red have first and are said to grown in Nagpur, chillies These Maharashtra. for their are acclaimed aromatic deep colour, levels. value and pungency Grown in: Nagpur, Maharashtra PUR ELLACHI SANMAN CHILLIES from Majorly grown December, September to Sanman the Ellachipur spicy and Chillies are very colour in turn dark red dried. when they are Grown in: Amravati, Maharashtra
Ram 2 GB Processor 1.6 GHz Memory 16/32GB internal HINDPUR CHILLIES for their They are popular pungency extremely high most widely levels and are Pradesh used in Andhra engage in where farmers between its production March. December and Grown in: Andhra

REVIEWS

CMS 1

2
Ram 512 MB Processor 1.2 Memory 4GBGHz internal, expandable upto 32GB

3 4

Ram 512 MB Processor 1 GHz Memory 2GB internal, expandable upto 32GB

01 Naga Jolakia in

Mirch 02 Kashmiri to the

chef Recently, a to be London had hospital rushed to the a after he tasted the with sauce made which Naga Jolakia, by the is recognised Of Guinness Book as World Records in chilli the hottest fact, its the world. In from rising demand that the armed forces uses it in various rescuing weapons is the Naga Jolakia farmers in Assam poverty. from wants The Indian Army to make non-lethal Naga grenades using riots. Jolakia to combat Grown in: Assam, Nagaland

Not even close of Naga potency level one is Jolakia, this taste in a bit fruity used in and hence is of making all sorts deggi curries. The use is mirch that we actually powdered and Kashmiri Mirch Its red capsicum. used commonly most and in Rogan Josh Tandoori Chicken. for Basically used than colouring rather mirch heat, Kashmiri can redden anythinglike colour that absorbs the surface oils and fats, cottage of meats, onion, cheese etc and Grown in: J&K Himachal Pradesh

03 Byadagi Chillies known as Kaddi

or 05 Birdseye Dhani Chillies green

Nayyar

oil extract Oleoresin, an is made from Byadagi, used in the preparation and of nail polish lipsticks. and Grown in: Goa Karnataka Dharwar in

known as They are also Devil the African Grown in: Mizoram and Manipur

92 fhmindia.com

January 2013

Words: Nishant

from 5 to 7 inches, and in our times, newest larger-thathese are the n-life sized smartphones. Our generatio accustomed n is the one we live in a to the famous saying generation ruled dumb people and smarter by phones, fhmindia.com

Words: Kumar

Also Chillies these aroma, have a mild and is low pungency used in extensively cuisine South Indian especially Udupiafter cuisine. Named Byadagi the town of 300 in Karnataka, chillies crore Byadagi year in are sold every India.

The tiny and grow Birdseye Chillies up to be extremely their red. However, pungency level area the depends on t they and environmen have been cultivated chilli in. So a Birdeye have in India wouldnt the same pungency the ones quotient as in that are grown other countries.

THESE THINGS SEEM TO HAVE INHABITED BY ARRIVED FROM lly, they LARGER MARS, OR MAYBE Internationa MAY BE, THE known -THAN-HUMAN SOME are popularly QUESTI Indian ON IS DO WE SIZED CREATURES BUT WHATE OTHER GALAXY as Finger Hot Phablets are REALLY NEED consumer VER ITS ORIGIN touchscreen Pepper. A 5-INCH SMART Gujarat S Grown in: with screen sizes ranging devices PHONE?

PHAB-LET
04 Jwala Chillies suggests, 06 Tomato Chilli
As the name are really these chillies of pungent because are always which they you like If in demand. this is things spicy, should you the variety are be trying. They long, usually 4 inches while slender, green while ripe. raw and red Maybe its called because Tomato Chilli cherry it looks like tomatoes. Also known as Warangal these are Chappatta, in colour tiny, dark red pungent. and not very people who Perfect for food dont like spicy yet want to in enjoy pungency some form.
internal 07 Kanthari Chillies the

idea of a Phablet is to flash those low unless you still best of both be able to enjoy the not make you waist baggy jeans, worlds, without additional devices needing Just to clearlook smarter? (or device things up, the casings in the Samsung Galaxy 5.3 fhmindia fhmindia Lets take a case of the Padfone). Note is considere a Phablet, whereas look at a few d devices such the ASUS available in the Padfone, with well as some market, into a tablet a phone that docks future releases as casing to be will likely keep used as a up the Phabletthat trend.
fhmindia fhmindia fhmindia.com

SANMAN 08 Mundu Gundu GUNTUR as S Also known fat CHILLIES from Molzuka, these Another variant thats variant and roundish taste Andhra Pradesh red thick has a distinct popular for its variants flavour. Its from other skin and spicy Guntur, the in of chillies in majorly grown called Warangal country. Its Khamman and Gundu Molzukain districts. because Gundu and Grown in: Andhra fat Tamil means chilli. Pradesh used in Molzuka means Its primarily are as in However, they chilli every preparation its used hot as any other Kerala. While for green India. produced in as a substitute Lanka, chillies in Sri it to with use They are roundish Thai people their dish pungent to is moderately jam add flavour red color. Tomato chilli the US. of the most with yellowish in and its one varieties Nadu quite popular home. Grown in: Tamil it exported chilli Pradesh You can make and Andhra in: Godavari, in the country. Grown Nadu but hey, does in: Tamil Khamman and having a 5 Grown of device districts and Karnataka tablet, that can barely fit plus Warangal is not one. The hands in your Pradesh. or Andhra pocket, They resemble and colour of ivory but are small sized, fool you. dont let that can Kanthari chillieslike make you weep a baby.

Ram 1 GB Processor 1 GHz Memory 32GB

Pradesh

Chillies

Ram 512 MB Processor 1 GHz Memory 4GB internal, expandable upto 32GB

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112

January 2013

In over two days NG 4 MICRO GALAXY NOTE the Zync Cloud of using Everything on Z5 the 2 SUPER MAX battery overheating 5 AQUA 5.0 seems to be this phone Samsung seems FONE right alert came on twice lightweight, CANVAS 2 riding high on to be responsive once the phoneand at least touch, its own with a new tune of Here is a classic slimness but found itself The latest company this new device in an uncontrollab the design. from Micromax avatar to join le fit and holding It actually feels like which is nothing less the bandwagon let out an uninterrupte than a marvel, is Intex with a plethora that comes who a square d a trendsetter hmmmm, which recently launched of features. chocolate. What box of and a benchmark. The phone sports the new Aqua 5.0. comes in only when the was cured as a bummer What an really makes The Aqua 8-megapixe is the 4:3 sometimes hangs a popped out. battery was display aspect Google Now, difference is with dual l CMOS camera playing The while LED flash. Cloud Z5 might Zync high graphics is one of the ratio, which where Googlea service very games but nothing looks at your Despite sporting a 5 inch pick of the heap not be the display aspects few calendar, tasks, capacitive screen from enough to hamper serious amongst the manufacturers this searches, and and phone fits amazingly five your game or annoy offers you see on page, phones days. With a use these helpful well in black-interf tips on how you. The all your hand. The but stylus to comes LG has yet again input, 113this closest it ace is a treat getting those go about resolution of low to the for the eyes. followed Samsung Note January 2013 the footsteps Unfortunate Note 2 has a things done. display might the LCD of Samsung. the back panel ly, very its looks. The in terms of disappoint Another feature and pressure-se accurate you as it makes is a bit too interface plasticky which is useful, but the nsitive LG for our has tried to screen, so writing icons etc. lose images, show off with feels like a cheapliking and especially if Z5 lags their on it is this phone is surprisingly you are trying sharpness. toys battery flap. good. What to see videos The 8mp rear of NFC tags. The 5-inch we could have We feel the UI really didnt or are as camera with size may look like was the been smoother addicted to Real LED like flash eye considering it pinching will is Steel as a handful but brightness. it we are. The disappoint thenot the Overall, this only good part by a dual core is powered the Aqua makes design of one stands to or bad part is photographer be the right it easy to What we reallyprocessor. that it is priced the lowest liked is that use. The touch response fairly decent in you and a and a tablet mix of a phone Micromax amongst battery will let almost is and has has all at ` 8,990 you wander managed to managemen added a SIM isnt flawless and there around the sell about 5 t option to set any lag. The whole day multitasking million units downfall of this device globally. Priced the default card for call, . Price at JUST is its 5 at ` 34,599. messages, Internet, ` 34,999. megapixel camera, etc. Both SIMs can the photos fhmindia.com the same time be active at Aqua lack sharpness. The is an impressive if needed. Priced at ` 9,999. buy at a competitive price of ` 9,999. fhmindia
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1 ZINC CLOUD Z5

2 LG OPTIM US VU

3 SAMSU

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Despite the fact that its been a hectic month for us, weve managed to ask 17 questions to the new Kingfisher Calendar girls (page 68). The writer missed out asking them about bikini glue and so he has been taken into the back and shot. As consolation, we met the greatest band ever the band that needs to be written about in upper case the band that makes music, burns down the Playboy Mansion and bangs Sarkozys wife. The band whose members can and probably will steal your girlfriend even if they are half a century older than you. Yes, we are talking about THE ROLLING STONES (page 58). Did you ever wonder what would happen if all the obese, useless men who wear suits to football matches and scream from the sidelines were sacked? Well, we did too, so turn to Page 64 to read what would happen if FHM got its hands on our own version of the Football Manager. Upgrade has its usual amount of batshit insanity, tips on making that bread that looks like the mint the Bagel (page 82) and a roundup of the dirtiest, most pointless and kinkiest smartphone apps (page 86). Everything from Boob-Stare to the Real Time Sex Grader are in there. To round up tech, we got a hold of five gadgets we are calling the hatchbacks of the Smartphone and Tablet world (page 92). Even though, you have bought FHM for the tech and the features and the cuttingedge writing, it would be rude to not talk about the women. Weve got for you Jacqueline Fernandez fresh from SL, a girl with a mole from Afghanistan (page 6) and a German girl in a pink bikini, who looks like the best thing out of Germany since Hitl uh Mercedes (page 90). Enjoy the Issue. Kabeer Sharma

What we did this month

January 2013

93

Cursed MS Dhoni, BCCI and the world at large for letting Sachin Tendulkar retire from one-days without playing a retirement game. Ingrates.

Got hopelessly addicted to Real Steel. Nothing cheers a man up like two eight feet digital robots beating the crap out of each other on a smartphone. Nothing. But then we found The Avengers game. Made fun of Manmohan Singh for his #Theekhai on Twitter. Tragically none of our tweets passed muster. But its Manmohan, he is bound to put a sock in it again. Got stuck in office and missed the NatGeo Wild Wild Fest we were partnering. Cursed loudly at those bloody Mayans. May they rot in hell for keeping the world on the edge of their seats! Made hopeless attempts at cycling. Fell. A lot. Picked ourselves up, rode the cycle like a tracer bullet for a kilometre and got down only when the shredded jeans got caught in the bicycle chain.

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Vida Samadzai ALL ABOARD


The Kabul born American resident is all set to let bygones be bygones
Words by Kumar Saurav

EXPRESS
and Afghan culture to wear a bikini. But the gutsy 5 feet 9 inches beauty from Kabul feels that the outrageous reaction to her sporting a two-piece bikini didnt bother her because most of the reactions came from strangers and not people who mattered to her. Yes, it hurts when your own people disown you for something as frivolous as a prerequisite of participating in a beauty pageant, but I came out of it strong. Its now a thing of the past and I feel like going back to my roots. I would like them to treat me as one amongst them and Im ready to take the first step like Im doing a lot of fundraisers for people back home and will continue to do so till I can, commits the lady who runs a mortgage business of her own in the US. Ask her about the

KABUL

I
good news for men
6 January 2013

t happens like clockwork any firang face we see on one of our reality TV shows eventually ends up in Bollywood. However, Bigg Boss season 5 contestant, Vida Samadzai is in no mood to join the bandwagon. I wouldnt say I dont want to try my hand in Bollywood, but I have my own business that I need to look after, and I have a couple of assignments like one for Jaipur Tourism that requires me to travel extensively across the globe, so wheres the time? If I really have to try out acting, it has to be Hollywood because they believe beauty starts post 30, says the Afghani whose participation in the 2003 Miss Earth beauty pageant was heavily condemned by her people who felt that it was against Islamic law

current season of Bigg Boss and she pours her heart out at the kind of exaggeration that goes into garnering high TRPs for the show. Im not following the show because I found the first two episodes really boring. However, I keep hearing how Imam is creating a ruckus in the house. Thats the kind of drama you need to survive in the house, and thats the reason why people like Pooja Misrra make sense for the show. I owe most of my success in India to the show, but the kind of nonsense that people talk, the way our personal life gets dragged into every heated conversation and the sudden outbursts are not something I can relate to. Like someone in the house mocked Pooja Bedis divorced status, which according to me was
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vida Samadzai

access

FYI 1
Lives: USA She moved to US in 1996: Sheis the second Miss Afghanistan to participate in a beauty contest since Zohra Daoud was crowned Miss Afghanistan in 1974

vida Samadzai

access

Indian men expect things quicker than usual. Instead of taking you out to a nice place where you can have dinner and chat, they would invite you to a bar where most of their friends are drinking. Thats not done.

her last few tweets


December 27: Heading to the poolside...tanning, Thai coconut water, iPod with my cute speakers and my imagination ;)))). November 21: A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. October 22: By da time da truth prevails,it might b 2 late. @VidaSamadzai
fhmindia.com

completely not fair because why she separated from her husband is her decision. Maybe thats the best option she had when she got separated, so why is there a need to bring someones troubled past into a game show? When asked if all those rumours about Bigg Boss host and actor Salman Khan calling all the shots on who stays in the house and who doesnt, she says, I dont think so, but the show producers do have it in their mind who they want on the show and whom they dont. Also, they invite the right mix of people. So if there is a peace loving girl like Raageshwari Loomba, there will also be someone like Pooja Misrra who will always create a ruckus. But arent those controversies needed to make someone a star? After all, even Samadzai is identified with a controversy... Not really, they (controversies) are

only needed if and when you wanna attain stardom without any hard work, struggle and dedication, else your work speaks for itself. On cue, we decide to switch to some lighter questions and asked her what she thinks about Indian men? She opens up saying, I think they are lovely to interact with and have a different point of view from the men of other countries. Though they are extremely good with loving their families, but dating them could be a bit of a disappointment. Indian men expect things quicker than usual. Instead of taking you out to a nice place where you can have dinner and chat, they would invite you to a bar where most of their friends are drinking. Thats not done. She also adds, I think they are extremely possessive, have pre-conceived notions and cant handle a strong independent

FYI 2
She doesnt get drunk and gets high only on life.

Vida got this shoot done by Adam Bedi. Make-up and hair stylist Carolyn; Salon:Crop Factory; Make up:Pravin V.Banker

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January 2013

access

vida Samadzai

FYI 3
If someone tries to get frisky with her, she would generally turn around, give him the dirtiest look possible and walk away, or just slap him. .

woman. Whats wrong if the girl wants to pay her part of the rent since Im fully capable of handling my lifestyle and should be able to for the rest of my life? Im not generalising, but thats my experience. Still, Im somehow attracted to Asian men. Our next question to her if a man is attracted to you, should he walk up to you and say that gets an interesting response. Dont pay attention to me, but instead just wait for the right situation to impress me. Im tired of men trying to hit on me saying how beautiful I am. Come on, think of something different because if you do that Ill make sure you ask me out for a drink too. Okay, so what else goes down well with her when shes meeting someone special? A quick hi or maybe a handshake. If he is very sexy and cute, then a soft and gentle hug There was this friend of mine who was gay and he told me if there were more women like me around, we would not have been gay. I think thats the sweetest thing Ive been told. I dont judge a man by the car they drive, but I want to see if a man has a heart, a drive and ambition towards success. Even while dressing he should just be the way he is. I prefer a sharp look, but he needs to smell amazing. While taking me out for dinner, I would like him to reserve a corner table because they are less noisy, more private and no one stares at you. The bar is too casual and the center table is like here I am Thirsty for attention. We made a quick note of that before finishing our conversation.

letters

december 2012

Amazing packaging Wish you all a very Happy New Year. Thank you very much for recognising me as a long term reader of FHM and please dont keep any doubt as each and every issue is a heart stealer. Its getting a little chilly here in Howrah but you guys always know how to heat up the temperature, so it was very nice to see Sofia Hayat, the busty hottie. The interview of Ms.Hayat was definitely good, but I am sure, like me, many other guys couldnt keep their eyes off this sexy madame. I also liked the cover star Aditi Rao Hydari. I liked her in the movie London Paris New York. She is very sexy but at the same time she has got the looks of an angel. I wish her all the very best for her future. Now, I have got something to say to you guys. Please dont take it otherwise. As I said, its very much prestigious for me that you people recognised me as a long term FHM reader, and liked my letters, but maybe I am not that good to win the title of Letter of the Month. But still, I have always loved FHM magazine and I will keep on reading each and every issue of FHM for atleast the next 50 years! Keep it up guys. Congratulations to Mr Kabeer Sharma and the entire FHM team for the dedication with which you guys package the magazine. You are being passive aggressive Sudipta. Dont know what me mean by that? Watch Konkana Sen in Dil Kabaddi.
Sudipta Shee, Howrah

Into FHM, Zero Disappointment FHM is unique in more ways than one. Firstly, it features the nicest of girls and transforms them into their sexiest of avatars. The photoshoots of models and celebrities (whether desi or firang) is praiseworthy. I think no other magazine is able to do that. Secondly, I think the articles you write are simply unique. Suppose, take for example, your December issue. Your articles Essential Life-Lessons From Football and Hot, Wild & Dangerous were simply the best and very well-written. It also has something for every film buff like me as we are updated with the latest news of films whether Hindi or English. I am an avid reader and follower of your magazine and scan your magazine from the first page to the last. I also find your letters section very interesting and read the various letters especially those written by Ajit and Kabeer with a lot of interest. I also think, one day, FHM will feel incomplete without my letters as well like those of Kabeer.
Arijit Ghosh, West Bengal

letter of the month


Now thats what we I call a break. After seeing Vidya Balan, Soha Ali Khan, Nargis Fakhri, Deepika Padukone, Katrina Kaif and Chitrangada Singh this year on FHMs cover, I had expected yet another popular face on the cover, but you guys completely bowled us over by giving the cover to Aditi Rao Hydari. What a pretty girl she is! While she has been a part of various applauded projects like Rockstar and her last film London Paris New York, I think she is capable of much more. And now that you have featured her on the cover, Im sure filmmakers who consider Hydari as a cutie would know what else she has to offer. Though she has lip-locked a few times on the screen, I never thought she would say yes to an FHM cover, but I guess you guys know how to get things done.
Kaustubh Chauhan, New Delhi.

CHANGE IS IN

The day is almost here Arijit because like Kabeer and Ajit everyone in the FHM team now waits for your letter too. Amazing packaging Just got the latest edition of FHM, and the moment I looked at the girls featured in the magazine, I wondered how a few men manage to live without women in their life. If you start giving free subscriptions, no man would ever think of not hooking up with a girl. What say?

Kabeer

Indeed Kabeer.

The guilt that comes with FHM girls


First of all, thanks for appreciating my feedback and letters, and giving them a place in your magazine. Agreed that I buy FHM for hot serves like Sofia Hayat, Aditi Rao Hydari and Brittney, but I know for sure that even other sections in the magazine like Filter profiles , reviews, games and stories like Things You Cant Control At Work are well done. However, Im so into your girls that I hardly have the appetite for anything else. This at times makes me feel guilty of preferring junk over nutritional food.

Thanks Kaustubh. We have many more surprises for you in 2013. Stay with us. Mail your howlers to fhm@maxposure.in
Esprit is an attitude and not an age; Esprit is for the young of heart who live and dress in a style that leaves others fuming.

This letter has won an EspritAlameda Rosegold Watch

Ajit, New Delhi

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January 2013

11

Innocent Reply Kid: Teacher can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: (correcting him) MAY I go to the bathroom? Kid: Miss, please aap baad me chale jaana mera nikal jayega.

jokes
access
Too smart A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade. The boy said, Maam, I should be in fourth grade, Im smarter than my sis and she is in the 4th grade. The teacher had heard enough of his complains and took the boy to the principals office. She explained everything to the principal who decided to test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade student should know. Principal: Whats 3+3? Boy: 6 Principal: 6+6? Boy: 12 The principal asked the boy several questions and the boy got them right. The principal then asked Maam to send the boy to 4th grade. Maam decided to ask some more questions and the principal agreed. Maam: What does a cow has four that Ive only 2? Boy: Legs Maam: Whats in your pants that you have but I dont have? Boy: Pockets Maam: What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut Maam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principals eyes open really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubble Gum Maam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do. What am I? Boy: Tent The principal was looking restless. Maam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when youre bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? Boy: Wedding ring Maam: I come in many sizes. When Im not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good? Boy: Nose Maam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip

Do Our long term relationship starts (looks at watch)....now.


to university, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself! How I met auntys daughter A lad once went to his aunts place. Aunty: Beta raat bahut ho gayi hai tum Guddu ke pass so jao. Boy: nahi aunty...main bahar sofe pe so jata hoon. Next morning a hot girl brings tea for him. Boy asks: Tum kaun ho? Girl: Main Guddu aur aap? Boy: Main chutiya.....gadha...ullu ka pattha.

bad pickup lines

Disaster management When a lady slipped into coma, her husband thought she is dead. While they were taking her body to the funeral ground, one of the four people carrying her body bumped into an electricity pole. Suddenly the lady regained consciousness, and was taken back. A year later, she died for real. While everyone in her procession was saying, Ram naam satya hai , her husband kept telling everyone, Khamba bacha ke... khamba bacha ke. Cheeni kum Kid: Aunty, mummy ne ek katori cheeni manggaai hai. Aunty: Acchha, aur kuch kaha mummy ne? Kid: Kaha wo kutti naa de toh saamnewali kanjoos se le aana. Girls will be girls Boy: How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach? Girl: I can eat 6 apples. Boy: You can eat only one apple because after eating the first apple your stomach wouldnt be empty anymore. Girl: Wow, super joke, Ill tell my friend! Girl to other girl: How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach? The Girl: I can eat 10. Girl: Pagal 6 bolti toh mast joke sunati. All in a kiss Husband: Janu ek kiss kar lu? Wife: Nahi. Husband: Saree la dunga. Wife: Bilkul nahi.. Husband: Jewellery la dunga.. Wife: Ek bar bola na, nahi. Pass me soya hua beta bola: Meri le lo, cycle la dena

penetrates, I come with a quiver. Boy: Arrow Maam: What starts with F and ends with a K and if you dont get it, you have to use your hand? Boy : Fork Maam: What it that all men have, its longer in some men than others, the Pope doesnt use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage? Boy: Surname Maam: What part of the man has no bone, but has muscles with a lot of veins like a pumpkin and is responsible for making love? Boy: Heart The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher:- Send the boy

The Whistling Pussy?


Santa while traveling in a plane was continuously looking at a womans legs and saw that she wasnt wearing her panties and beneath her tall waxed legs was a clean shaved pussy that was just unbelievable. Woman: I know what you are looking at. Santa apologetically, I am sorry, Maam. This would not happen again. Woman: Thats perfectly OK. I know Im not wearing my panties but one thing you dont know is that my pussy can do funny things... Santa: Like what? Woman: It can wink. Santa: Show me how? The woman lifted her skirt and made her clean shaved pussy wink at the Santa. Santa: Wow! Its amazing. Woman: It can blow a kiss as well and she made her nice white lips blow a kiss at Santa. Santa got completely floored by this and was in awe of what he just saw. Woman who was completely hot and wet and wanted some action said to Santa, You can come next to my seat and put your fingers in my pussy. Santa: Fuck, dont tell me it can whistle too!

share gags, earn cash. K n ow a n y f u n n y j o k e s ? E v e ry g ag u s e d e a r n s yo u ` 2 5 0 ( h a h a ) . S e n d t h e m to f h m @ m a x p os u r e. i n

12

January 2013

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access
he has refused several offers to get it operated upon because some people feel that Oram is a reincarnation of Lord Hanuman since he was born on Ram Navami. A jellyfish that will never die Turritopsis is the only immortal living being of Earth because it has the ability to start its life cycle afresh. Well, obviously if its not eaten. This remarkable skill comes from a process called transdifferentiation, which turns one type of cell into another. The good news is that their numbers are increasing and they can now be found in waters near Spain, Italy, Japan, and the Atlantic side of Panama. Man manhandles boyfriend for bad taste in music A man in the US has recently been accused of attacking his boyfriend because he would repeatedly listen witnessed the 31-year-old Rudy Eugene chewing the face of the homeless man, said that the accused was tearing the homeless victim with his mouth. She said, The guy just kept eating the other guy away, like ripping his skin. Couple having sex on restaurant table arrested A young couple in Florida were spotted having sex on a table in the alfresco dining area of a family restaurant in Florida. When the manager of Paddy Murphys eatery, Tom Murphy, objected to the act, the couple said that they couldnt stop now. However, the male accused Jeremie Calo, 32, was arrested for not paying up the bill. Also, the couple escaped criminal charges because the witness refused to provide a statement to the police.

rape-provoking miniskirts

In Africas last absolute monarchy, Swaziland, women have been banned from wearing miniskirts and midriff-revealing tops because the police thinks that it provokes rape as its easier for rapists to remove short cloths than something that covers the whole body. Even low-rise denims are not allowed according to the new law and offenders who dont follow this rule will be put behind bars for six months. Women who had 50 orgasms in a row commits suicide 39-year-old Gretchen Molannen, who was suffering from a rare sexual disorder called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD) that results in spontaneous and unwanted genital sensation and arousal, committed suicide earlier this month. Molannen, who had tried to commit suicide a number of times earlier was suffering from the disease for over 16 years after she first noticed it at the age of 23 when one day she suddenly felt aroused without any stimulation. This arousal would usually continue for hours and the only temporary relief of a few minutes would come from hours of masturbation, which Molannen didnt want to indulge in because of her religious preferences. Indian with a 13-inch long tail A tea estate worker in West Bengal, Chandre Oram, was born with a tail that is now 13-inches long. However, Obese prisoner gets stuck while trying to escape Size does matter and even more so when one tries to escape from prison. One Brazilian prisoner, Rafael Valadao, learnt this the hard way when he got stuck in the escape hole while trying to flee and had to be rescued by firefighters. However, a slimmer inmate did manage to escape from the same route.

Ramsey booked for driving topless When a lady in Florida was booked for over-speeding even after being chased by the highway police, she said that she didnt stop because she was driving topless. 35-year-old Mandy Ramsey continued to drive even after being repeatedly asked to stop and although she managed to escape at that time, her car was later spotted parked behind a mobile home. Ramsey was on her way to meet her boyfriend. She was later released on $5000 bond. Santa in gray angers foreigner Police had to be called in Vallsta, Sweden after a foreign visitor to a spa and conference center got angry because a Santa Claus visiting the venue was wearing a gray costume instead of a red one. Though no one was arrested, the police said that the foreigner got into an argument with the organisers about Santas choice of clothing colour. The visitors identification was not revealed.

to only Alanis Morissette tracks. 24-year-old Allen Casey was arrested for hitting his 33-year-old boyfriend Todd Fletcher in the face with a plate. Fletcher, in his statement to the police said that Allen hated listening to Alanis. Cannibal shot dead A Miami resident was recently arrested in a naked state when he was found chewing a mans face on the highway. Cyclist Larry Vega, who
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January 2013

fhmindia.com

Chillies delhi police


And other popular variants of Indian chillies that will bring tears to your eyes.

Recently, a chef in London had to be rushed to the hospital after he tasted a sauce made with the Naga Jolakia, which is recognised by the Guinness Book Of World Records as the hottest chilli in the world. In fact, its rising demand from the armed forces that uses it in various weapons is rescuing the Naga Jolakia farmers in Assam from poverty. The Indian Army wants to make non-lethal grenades using Naga Jolakia to combat riots. Grown in: Assam, Nagaland 16 January 2013

01 Naga Jolakia

Not even close to the potency level of Naga Jolakia, this one is a bit fruity in taste and hence is used in making all sorts of curries. The deggi mirch that we use is actually powdered Kashmiri Mirch and red capsicum. Its most commonly used in Rogan Josh and Tandoori Chicken.

02 Kashmiri Mirch

03 Byadagi Chillies

05 Birdseye or Dhani Chillies

Also known as Kaddi Chillies these have a mild aroma, low pungency and is extensively used in South Indian cuisine especially Udupi cuisine. Named after the town of Byadagi in Karnataka, 300 crore Byadagi chillies are sold every year in India.

Basically used for colouring rather than heat, Kashmiri mirch can redden anything that absorbs colour like oils and fats, the surface of meats, onion, cottage cheese etc Grown in: J&K and Himachal Pradesh fhmindia fhmindia

The tiny and green Birdseye Chillies grow up to be extremely red. However, their pungency level depends on the area and environment they have been cultivated in. So a Birdeye chilli in India wouldnt have the same pungency quotient as the ones that are grown in other countries. They are also known as the African Devil Grown in: Mizoram and Manipur

Oleoresin, an oil extract made from Byadagi, is used in the preparation of nail polish and lipsticks. Grown in: Goa and Dharwar in Karnataka

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couldnt handle other

hot

chillies

Nacheti Chillies They are highly pungent, long, solid red in colour and are said to have first grown in Nagpur, Maharashtra. These chillies are acclaimed for their deep colour, aromatic value and pungency levels. Grown in: Nagpur, Maharashtra Ellachipur Sanman Chillies Majorly grown from September to December, the Ellachipur Sanman Chillies are very spicy and turn dark red in colour when they are dried. Grown in: Amravati, Maharashtra

04 Jwala Chillies

As the name suggests, these chillies are really pungent because of which they are always in demand. If you like things spicy, this is the variety you should be trying. They are usually 4 inches long, slender, green while raw and red while ripe. Internationally, they are popularly known as Finger Hot Indian Pepper. Grown in: Gujarat

06 Tomato Chilli

Maybe its called Tomato Chilli because it looks like cherry tomatoes. Also known as Warangal Chappatta, these are tiny, dark red in colour and not very pungent. Perfect for people who dont like spicy food yet want to enjoy pungency in some form. Tomato chilli jam is quite popular in the US. You can make it home. Grown in: Godavari, Khamman and Warangal districts of Andhra Pradesh.

They resemble the colour of ivory and are small sized, but dont let that fool you. Kanthari chillies can make you weep like a baby. Its primarily used in every preparation in Kerala. While its used as a substitute for green chillies in Sri Lanka, Thai people use it to add flavour to their dish and its one of the most exported chilli varieties in the country. Grown in: Tamil Nadu and Karnataka

07 Kanthari Chillies

08 Mundu Chillies
Also known as Gundu Molzuka, these fat and roundish variant has a distinct taste from other variants of chillies in the country. Its called Gundu Molzuka because Gundu in Tamil means fat and Molzuka means chilli. However, they are as hot as any other chilli produced in India.

Hindpur Chillies They are popular for their extremely high pungency levels and are most widely used in Andhra Pradesh where farmers engage in its production between December and March. Grown in: Andhra Pradesh Guntur Sanman Chilliess Another variant from Andhra Pradesh thats popular for its thick red skin and spicy flavour. Its majorly grown in Guntur, Khamman and Warangal districts. Grown in: Andhra Pradesh

fhmindia.com

fhmindia fhmindia

January 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav

They are roundish with moderately pungent with yellowish red color. Grown in: Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh

17

access
4 3

THE DEAD WHO ROSE


Not everyone rests in peace forever, some are disturbed even when they are meant to be sleeping for an eternity...

AGAIN
2 1

1Yasser Arafat

His body was exhumed to determine whether he died of radioactive polonium-210 poisoning and not a heart attack. The investigations were prompted after Al-Jazeera news channel sent some of the iconic leaders belongings that were provided by his wife Suha for poison testing to a Swiss Lab.

The infamous Italian American mafia boss of the Prohibition Era of the 1920s and 30s died of a cardiac arrest in 1947. In 1950, his body was exhumed from Mount Olivet Cemetery in Chicago where he was originally buried and moved to Mount Carmel Cemetery in the same city.

2Al Capone

3Charlie Chaplin

The 88-year-old film legend died in 1977. To strike a deal with Chaplins family, robbers stole his remains from Vaud, Switzerland where he was originally buried. Though the robbers were captured, Chaplin was reburied in a coffin made of concrete to prevent anyone stealing his remains again.

His remains were first exhumed from Valladolid, Spain and moved to a monastery in Seville, Spain and then to Hispaniola. His remains were once again moved to Havana, Cuba after the French invasion of Hispaniola in 1795. After the independence of Cuba, his remains were finally moved back to Seville again in 1898.

4Christopher Columbus

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January 2013

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8 6

The Rock n Roll icon who bid adieu to the world in 1977 was first buried next to his mothers grave in Memphis, but after several attempts were made to steal his remains, he was exhumed and moved to Graceland.

elvis presley

de 5Vasco Gama

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January 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav

His remains that were first buried in Kochi in 1534 were shifted to Portugal in 1939. In 1880, someone elses coffin was mistaken for that of Gama and moved to a monastery outside of Lisbon, but in 1898, after the mistake was pointed out, his remains were laid to rest near the famous poet Camess grave in Lisbon.

6Che Guevara

When the Marxist revolutionary was executed in 1967 his hands were amputated and sent to Buenos Aires and later to Cuba for fingerprint identification. The mystery continued over his graveyard until a researcher located his body in Vallegrande, Bolivia in 1977. His remains now rest in Santa Clara, Cuba.

After the dictator committed suicide with his wife, his body was put in a bomb crater and set on fire. Though nothing concrete has been said about how his remains were dealt with, reports say that his remains were reburied in Madgeburg, Germany at the SMERSH headquarters.

7Adolf Hitler

8Abraham Lincoln

A lot of attempts were made to steal the remains of the sixteenth President of the United States from Springfield, Illinois where he was buried after his assassination in 1865 following which his remains were exhumed and reburied in several feet of concrete in 1901 at the same place.

21

access

desis

TAKING PRIDE IN
1

STOP

we should

the ones we can be proud of


Founder, Hotmail Email Service The 45-year-old businessman was born in Chandigarh, grew up in Bangalore and Pune and went to the California Institute of Technology through a foreign transfer from BITS, Pilani.

and

05 Sabeer Bhatia

Isnt it idiotic on our part to rejoice in the success of these part-Indians who have spent most of their lives abroad than in India

Bobby Jindal American politician The only thing that connects the very first Indo-American Governor in USA to India is that his parents, Amar and Raj Jindal, migrated to America six months prior to this birth. Else there is nothing remotely Indian about Jindal.

06 Kalpana Chawala
NASA astronaut She completed her schooling from Haryana. Later she received her degree in Aeronautical Engineering at Punjab Engineering College at Chandigarh and moved to US for further studies and subsequently NASA came calling.

Kal Penn, actor and Associate Director in the White House Office of Public Engagement The American actor who is primarily known for playing Kumar Patel in the Harold and Kumar series was born as Kalpen Suresh Modi in Montclair, New Jersey to Indian parents, Asmita and Suresh Modi. Though Penn tells the world about his grandparents participation in the fight for Indian independence, to us it looks more like PR machinery. Everything from his schooling to his acting career has happened in the US.

hotelier The hotelier who has been accused of defaulting on bank loans was awarded the Padam Bhushan in 2010, so our government does want us to respect this man who owns the Bombay Palace chain of restaurants and the Hampshire Hotels.

07 Sant Singh Chatwal

Sunita Williams, Astronaut

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January 2013

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Words: Kumar Saurav

We as Indians quickly lap up her achievements, but there is hardly any contribution of India to her inspiring success as an astronaut. Her parents, Deepak Pandya and Bonnie Pandya already stayed in the US when she was born in Euclid, Ohio. Furthermore, Sunita did her schooling in Massachusetts, got commissioned in the US Navy, was selected by NASA and is married to Federal officer, Michael J. Williams. Yes, she has some property in Gujarat and her first name is Sunita, but is that enough to make her an Indian?

Norah Jones, musicians The nine-time Grammy winner musician is somewhat Indian because her father was the famous sitar player, Ravi Shanker whose legacy is impeccably being carried forward by his daughter, Anoushka Shankar. Ravi and Norahs mother, Sue Jones separated in 1986 and since then Norah has been brought up in US, so we hardly have a reason to relate to her as Indian or an even half Indian for that matter.

personality development and health author The famous alternative medicine healer and popular friend of MJ was born in New Delhi, studied there all throughout and even graduated from the AIIMS, New Delhi.

08 Deepak Chopra,

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Shit

They Say
The fact that this intro was changed atleast seven times is evidence enough that Indian public figures are veritable idiots. The latest one to put a sock in it is the first son, Abhijit Mukherjee who blamed Dented and Paintedwomen for instigating rape.
Too much hype has been created around the 26/11 attacks because elite people were targeted. Attacks have happened in trains and small towns too, but no one talked about it so much. Everybody took this up because the Taj and Oberoi hotels were involved. The attacks happened because our security failed. Everybody knows that the Pakistani government was not behind it and it was a terrorist attack. Our security had failed. We have had lot of attacks earlier, and all of them were not from Pakistan. They were from within also. - Salman Khan on 26/11 attacks

Compliled by: Kumar Saurav

s are of Indian t % 0 9 y a s I don ou people idiots. Y s in your in have bra is so easy to It . .. s d a e e. h for a rid take you % Hindus are 0 Today 8 and 80% l a n u m m o unal. c are comm s m li Mus ndey e Marka ic t s u J Katju

g my h is lickin g k u R h a din Sh I am fee feet and s every now it him biscu What more can . n e h t d ore an Now, bef ? r o I ask f o any t you jump s, let me add n io s lu c n is the co ah Rukh h that S our dog. name of - Aamir Khan

- Coal Min ister Sriprakash Jaiswal

An old victo ry a wife of ma , like n years, loses y its charm over time.

I hear d people Indian their eat with hands still. -Opra h Winf rey

Ek hi maa
Ram was a bad husband. - Ram Jethmalani

ra.

azare on - Anna H lture u Union agric arad h S r e t is in m ting t e g Pawar d e slapp

They mated misunderesti me. - George W Bush

kills. If Smoking d, le il k youre t a very s lo e youv part of t importan your life. -Brooke

Shields

If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldnt own anything. My wifes a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I havent sold them. - Ted Turner

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I cant help but cry. I mean Id love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. - Mariah Carey

I always wanted to be a porn star. I am going to work very hard, positively, with clarity to be a porn star. I will take my flag and put it up in America as the biggest porn star of the world. - Shah Rukh Khan

people. I I love to hit t os love to. M are s ie it r celeb eones om s id a r af ack t t a going to t n a w I . them attack o t e on e som ons. p a e me. No w d him. I n Just me a men and t a e b o t e lik bad. m e beat th - MIke Ty son

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January 2013

25

access

43
percent

38
percent

Indian Family Foundation survey

respondents in Delhi in the Save

blamed their female colleagues for sexual harassment.

respondents of the Save Indian Family Foundation survey agreed that men are vulnerable to sexual harassment at work. For Hyderabad and Mumbai, the figure was 55%.

for their ordeal.

men in Bangalore in the Save Indian Family Foundation Survey who admitted to having been harassed at work held women bosses responsible

50
percent

participants in Bangalore admitted to having been harassed by male colleagues.

32
percent

MANEATING

of those who were part of this survey in Hyderabad confessed to have been intimidated by female bosses while 48% held their male bosses for the workplace trauma.
26 January 2013

29
percent

So what if our lawmakers comfortably ignore the harassment of men The following facts speak for themselves

FEMALES AT WORK

19 percent

51 percent

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Words: Kumar Saurav

of men in an Economic TimesSynovate survey admitted to being sexually harassed at work.

men in Bangalore, 31% in Delhi and 28% in Hyderabad confessed to have been sexually harassed at work in some way or the other.

2012 / `

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war of the world


Algeria Mali
The terrorist group Al-Qaeda Organization in the Maghreb (AQIM), Islamic Salvation Front and Monotheism movement group, Jamat Tawhid Wal Jihad Fi Garbi Afriqqiya mostly keep the Algerian army engaged. Of all these, AQIM is most active and looks committed to toppling the government. In January this year, the Malian government had to stand-up against several insurgent groups that had been demanding autonomy for Azawad, a northern Mali area, so that Tuareg people could settle down here. The National Movement for the Liberation of Azawad (NMLA) that led this crusade and took control of the region by April was supported by the Islamist group, Ansar Dine. However, after the invasion when Ansar Dine introduced strict Sharia law in Azawad, NMLA started a conflict with Ansar Dine.

A list of countries that are always in a state of war with some enemy

Sudan

The ongoing Sudan internal conflict started in 2010 between the Army of Sudan and the Sudan Revolutionary Front over the oil-rich region of Abyei and to date it has affected over 14 lakh people and displaced over 200,000.

Syria

Its feared that the Syrian government might collapse anytime bringing to an end the ongoing civil war. Apart from clashes with Turkish army, Syria has also been battling the Syrian Revolution Coordinating Union up north near the Turkish border since 2011 and the Free Syrian Army amongst other rebel and terrorist groups
January 2013 fhmindia fhmindia fhmindia.com

28

Words: Kumar Saurav

China

Israel

The country has long been involved in the Gaza strip conflict with Hamas and the recent bombings have proved that the conflict is yet to show its worst face.

According to various news reports, the East Turkestan Islamic Movement or Turkistan Islamic Movement has orchestrated over 200 acts of terrorism that caused the death of 162 people and over 440 injuries in the dragon country. The group continues to haunt China from time to time, while the country is also tacking Tibet.

Afghanistan

There are primarily seven groups that have been at loggerheads with the Afghan army and Onu forces. These include the Haqqani Network that rose against the US led NATO forces and the Afganistan Government, Peshawar Shura in east Afghanistan, Quetta Shura, Hezb-eIslami Gulbuddin since 1977, Hezb-e Islami Khalis since 1979, Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan and the Mullah Dadullah Front since May 2012.

Pakistan

Its not just India that keeps their forces in action, but also the rebels of Lashkar-eTaiba, Pakistani Taliban of South Waziristan since 2008, Balochistan Liberation Army since 2000, Jaish-e-Mohammed and Bangladesh Militant Group 313 Brigade among several other terrorist outfits.

Egypt

This year the Egyptian government kept its armed forces engaged in constant war with Jihadist Salafist Group Takfir wal-Hijra while also tackling Mujahideen Shura Council and Al-Qaeda (and its military wing, Ansar al Jihad) that has been active in the Sinai area since last year.

India

Its not just terrorist groups, Maoists and militias that our country is struggling with, but also the tense ties with Pakistan over Kashmir and the freshly brewing territorial conflict with China over Arunachal Pradesh, which is giving our forces a tough time.

Japan

The warring vibes between Japan and China is creating ripples because of the intense territorial spat between them. Recently, a few Chinese aircrafts trespassed into Japans territory fueling heated debates on whether the two countries would soon engage in a fully blown war.
January 2013 29

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THE

Girl Next Door


Pryanca Talukdar
are not loyal? Or do even women love to play around with men? Pryanca: Women are equally unfaithful. FHM: Is cheating healthy? Pryanca: Only if you play safe. FHM: So are you experimental when it comes to relationships? Pryanca Hell yeah! Else your relationship is just gonna rot. FHM: What about dating disasters? Pryanca They add to your learning curve. FHM: What fascinates you in a guy? Pryanca: A balanced combination of money, car and physique. FHM: What makes you go wild? Pryanca: Give me a bottle of vodka with some Red Bull and turn up the music. Trust me, Ill be wild and will make everyone else go wild too and bring the damn house down. FHM: Tell us about your first intimate encounter. Pryanca: I was too young, but it felt good. FHM: Do girls check out girls? Pryanca: Girls are always good to look at, as they are sexier than men.

january FHM

The babe in blue puts out naughty thoughts about mirrors, checking out girls, blind dates and being unfaithful

end as expected Why? Pryanca: Considering the way things are happening around us, the end of the world might be right around the corner.. FHM: If the world would have ended, who is the last man on Earth you would like to go on a date with? Pryanca: Jim Morrison. FHM: If sins could be forgiven, what forbidden things would you like to indulge in? Pryanca: I would like to get physical with a saint. FHM: Whats the worst part of a bold shoot? Pryanca: It gets over really fast. FHM: And the best? Pryanca: Getting spotted by Hugh Hefner. FHM: Whats the wildest thing youve ever done in front of a mirror? Pryanca: The mirror knows more about me than boys, so let your imagination run wild. FHM: Ever been on a blind date? Pryanca: Yes and I went blind for some time. FHM: How was it? Pryanca: A complete disaster He said I remind him of his sister.
30 January 2013

FHM: The world didnt

FHM: Is it just men who

whoS she?
DOB: January 16 Occupation: This girl from Kolkata is also management graduate.

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The pics she sent us

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access

January 2013

31

Words: Kumar Saurav; Photography: Niladri Chatterjee; Make up: Swarup Sarkar; Styling: Samarendra Singha

access
2012s Top Tech Stories
iPhone 5 and the iPad mini The worlds biggest tech company continues to rule the heart of people and that of the Internet with its aggressive product cannibalism.
column

Dont forget the #


Seven months ago, a girl was molested outside a nightclub by 10 men in Guwahati while the cameras rolled. How many of us remember what happened to her today? What she is doing, whether she got counselling or not and whether the men involved in that crime were punished or not? We are angry, pissed off, livid, no conversations end without talking about her and two weekends have gone into protesting about her the question is what happens when something else, newer, more outraging and even closer to home comes along? And thats the scariest thing. Over the last year weve protested, demonstrated and tweeted outrage on Kasabs hanging and the dilly dallying on Afzal Gurus hanging, about the Israeli attacks on Palestine, Walmarts FDI lobbying, North Easterners fleeing from Bangalore, Government trying to limit SMS usage to 5 a day and LPG cylinders to 9 a year, Pakistan Interior Ministers insensitivity towards Captain Kalia, a power blackout, and the Kudankulam nuclear plant. Weve been equally angry and weve spent as much time making placards, holding candle light vigils, throwing stones at the government and generating hashtags for each issue. And thats where it begins to come undone. Till last December, India and its future and the future of our kids hung in the balance with the Lokpal Bill, then Anna decided to put protestors through the acid test would you protest against corruption at the cost of your New Years Eve party? As Anna played to a by-and-large empty audience, the Lokpal Bill that was scheduled for the winter session of parliament still continues to hang in limbo and we dont give a damn about it. In October 2010, Supreme Court commuted the death sentence of the rapist of 25-year-old college student, Priyadarshini Mattoo to a life term. But despite the fact that smartphone sales for the last quarter of 2010 increased by 295 percent as compared to 2009, we remained quiet. There were no mass mobilisations, protests, hashtags, angry protestors or demands for hangings. Our approach to these issues and I am afraid our approach to even the gangrape of the 23-year-old girl in Delhi last month has been that of the organisation that weve targeted the most last month the Delhi Police. The Delhi Police very often conducts drives against particular things tinted windows, drunk driving, not wearing a seatbelt, pollution certificate etc., so every time it embarks on a drive against tinted windows for example, you can drive around on the streets without a seatbelt with a car throwing out more exhaust than a brick kiln. Only we are a lot less subtle than Delhi Police and we deal with only one flashpoint and one hashtag at a time. I dont buy the promises that this time we will not let it be forgotten when we forgot Priyadarshini
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kabeer sharma

We protested and forgot about everything from Kudankalam to FDI in 2012, how long will it take us to forget this rape shame?
Mattoos rape case or the Guwahati victim. Probably the Priyadarshini Mattoo case is even more relatable for us she was 25, a student of law, lived in Vasant Kunj and was raped and killed by the son of a Police Inspector General. In the 16 years since Priyadarshinis rape and murder, nothing has changed and our appalling track record in forgetting issues is hardly promising. Or maybe we dont relate to her case because we can relate too much to her case her rapist wasnt someone who came from outside our society, or lived in a slum or rode around in buses. We needed something that was relatable, but from a safe distance and the case in December fit the bill. But the question is, will we see it to its conclusion or will we find another flashpoint to not notice if the death sentence of her accused is commuted by the Supreme Court? I am not too hopeful. In the chorus of protests, anger, screaming and dismember the bastard rapists rhetoric one thing is missing and thats a solution. And that is the scary part. As I write this, the protests are yet to go through its pick me or your New Years Eve acid test. Yet never before has our collective amnesia been as clearly on exhibition as it is right

Google glass The much anticipated augmented reality head mounted display (HMD) will keep the tech-optimists guessing till the actual prototype is brought forward to the world.

Facebook IPO Zuckerbergs decision to go public didnt make its investors rich, but the company had new product rollouts, patent tussles, and a major acquisition and that was just the first half of the year.

Facebook buys Instagram We always wondered about Facebooks real motivation for buying Instagram because it had already launched its own camera app in May.

Crowdfunding comes of age Social lending or peer to peer finance: whatever you would want to call it, has started as an undeniable revolution for startups and ideas.

Source: Yahoo

now. The tragedy is that we seem intent on not doing anything beyond the protests and the Twitter hashtags and the columns. Certainly us urban Indians are far more equipped to deal with these problems and change this mindset rather than depending on the same government we are putting to the sword everyday. Maybe the start would be to start sensitisation classes for men. Not just men living in slums who travel in buses, but the rest of us who talk in English, drive cars and tweet. I for one would be very keen to attend.
fhmindia.com

34

January 2013

access
Top 5 NewsMakers of 2012
Arvind Kejriwal The chief of the Aam Aadmi Party had to be at the top of the list for his credible work, even though we at FHM caught him flying business class from New Delhi to Kolkata.
column

AN UNEXPECTED GENTLEMAN
So the world didnt combust and we all survived another hangover on January 1. But with the kind of protests, human rights violation and political guffaws we witnessed; doomsday didnt feel like a worst-case scenario. It would be easy for me to indulge in male bashing right now. I could write jibberish displaying my outright hatred for the male species in an article thatll find enough Twitter retweets and Facebook shares to warrant a mini-celebrity status. But I wont. Not because Im not outraged enough, rather cos I dont want to take part in dissecting the issue ad nauseam. My words wont make a difference, your actions will. And if you havent forgotten all about it by the time you read this, then thats a good start. What I will lend my two cents on will hopefully be more relevant to you. A crash course on when no means no, why she threw that vodka tonic in your face and how you can change a smirk into a smile. Its how I teach men to respect boundaries. Lets accept one thing first All men are not dogs on heat. In fact, a couple of months ago Id written in favour of the honourable gents Ive met through the years, so theres still hope for your kind. At a time when we suggestively dry hump a girlfriend on the dancefloor after too many martinis, use our feminine charms to bum a smoke off strangers and dont hesitate in accepting a drink from an appreciative man at the other side of the bar all without any intention of even sharing our phone number with the guy frustrated male friends have repeatedly asked me how to distinguish a coy maybe from a definite no and more importantly, how they can convert both into a hearty yes. I admit I too have played the girl card for the randomest of things. From pretending to be happy high to score freebies, to shamelessly flirting with men solely to distract them from girls I didnt like. Ive done it knowing I was leading men on. Sometimes these harmless overtures have led to fun adventures, but at most times theyve led to blue balls. This doesnt warrant a public flogging, though it does show how difficult it is to be an honest gentleman. But it doesnt discount the less than seemly men Ive encountered at clubs, theatres and malls who thought our eyes locking or me smiling gave them license to squeeze my butt or shove their pelvis on me. Yes, that has happened. Getting back to the topic, now that you know the truth, next time you face harmless female treachery, leave an impression. Im not suggesting you become creepy, but be affable and approachable. Say she comes up to you at a party to ask for a cigarette dont just give her one and let her walk off, rather engage her in a chat. Nothing hinting you are hitting on her, or shell just close off, but something that
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mistress of vices

Opening doors and pulling out chairs is no longer the chivalrous thing to do, so heres how to not seem like a brute the next time you meet a lady
catches her off-guard. Unless we are too pissed to even walk straight, in which case lucky you, we always have our guard up. We think well be giggly and girly, distract you and swiftly vanish after weve got what we wanted (a glass of wine, change for the cab) but we dont expect you to talk sense. Once youve surprised us, reel us in with subtlety. Dont be overeager and try to get our number or seem too friendly. Instead, get details thatll help you find us on social networking sites (birthplace, school, company name) and if things go well, leave your number. Rest assured, if you dont look like a monster and we dont have a boyfriend/fianc/ hubby, well call you. As a bonus, well praise you to female friends as the nice guy we just ran into. Another major brownie point scorer Being helpful. Last NYE, my friend who downed a bottle of Champagne and then passed out on the rooftop of a house party only reached home because two nice boys we met there took it upon themselves to get her water,

Narendra Modi He definitely is the strongest contender for the post of the next PM of our country, provided he doesnt try to make Ahmedabad the capital of India.

Malala Yousafzai The Pakistani teenage activist who was shot in the head by the Taliban and is currently recuperating at a Birmingham hospital has also been named teenager of the year by a popular magazine.

Akhilesh Yadav This suave, tech savvy chief minister of Indias biggest state still has to work hard to prove his mettle.

Robert Vadra Thanks to Arvind Kejriwal, people of the nation do not hesitate in addressing him as the nations ghar jamai.

Source: Yahoo

sober her up and then carry her down to our car. In between all of that, I showed my appreciation by giving my number to the cuter one of the two. In lesser friendly settings like a crowded bar, approaching a girl with Barney Stinson-type lines will get you slapped. What might help you is winning her friends over. If you try to speak to her without her posse around, shell find her way back to them and leave you in the lurch. But if you talk up her friends, you are in. Find a man, if any are a part of her crew and discuss safe things yesterdays games scores, how long the bartender is taking to pour warm beer in a glass etc. Men are less hostile to newbies and more likely to get you access to their pretty girls gang (barring sisters and/or their betrothed) if you connect with them. In case its ladies night out, approach them in a group sans an agenda and dont send free drinks to their table or theyll assume youre only looking for a lay. Strike up an easy convo and then disengage, but hang around close so they can spot you. Since you wont seem desperate, chances are theyll come talk to you again. Of course nothing is foolproof, but if you do happen to pull off looking like a gentleman rather than a predator in the making with these quick tips, then you might just start the year on a happier note.
January 2013 35

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New Day

The new HP Envy x2 is like your first cup of coffee, something that you can carry anywhere. It lets you wake up to all the social media action just with a tablet.

Photographer: Aman Sood; Stylist: Kay Savino Yhome; Models: Leslie and Agrima (Chic Model Management); Coordination: Shruti Gattani

A day in the life of HP Envy x2, two hot girls and the FHM team

Twice The Fun


Meeting Notes

fhm promotion

It is compact, stylish and a complete Tablet and for times that need taking quick notes and making presentations, the new HP Envy X2 also transforms into a versatile and chic laptop.

fhm promotion

Surf, work or play all day! The exceptional battery life will not force you to carry the charger every time.

Midday Gossip

The laptop that doubles as a tablet.

It comes with two cameras.

Nighty-night
A long day is simplified by the touch optimised Windows 8. From photos and music to messages, calendars and movies, everything you want is just a touch away.

HP Envy x2
Operating System Windows 8 Display 29.46 cms (11.6-inch) diagonal HD Anti-glare LED-backlit IPS Display (1366 x 768) Audio Mind-blowing, studio-quality sound with Beats Audio Approximate Weight Total 1.41 kg; Slate only 0.71 kg January 2013 39

MoviE bonanza

Tune In!

The start of 2013 will keep you glued to the BIG screen...

02

Bold and Beautiful

Inkaar

01
New Year Treat! The tattoos and the out-and-out blunt dialogues are more than enough to woo moviegoers
Vishal Bhardwajs Matru Ki Bijli Ka Mandola, in keeping with his previous releases, is not straightforward and includes many ups and downs. Sporting a rugged look, Imran Khan plays the role of Matru and is paired opposite Anushka Sharma (Bijli) for the first time. The third pivotal character is Mandola (Pankaj Kapur). Set against the rustic backdrop of a village in Haryana, this comedy-drama revolves around Harry
40 January 2013

Featuring the sultry Chitrangada Singh and dashing Arjun Rampal, Inkaar delves upon the sensitive topic of sexual harassment. To make the story as real as possible, Sudhir Mishra wrote three scripts one from the female protagonists point of view, another from the male protagonists perspective and a third focussed on sentiments. And only after penning down all three, did he manage to give his bold and sensual treatment to the film. Inkaar is scheduled to release on January 18, 2013.

Lets hope the acting can do justice to the hard-hitting plot

Matru Ki Bijli Ka Mandola


Mandola, a rich-drunk industrialist, his daughter Bijli and his servant Matru, who studied LLB in DU, but unable to find a job comes back to his village and serves the Mandola family. On the other hand, Bijli goes to Oxford, falls in love with the son (Arya Babbar) of a rich politician (Shabana Azmi) and is all set to marry him. However, the union of these two lovers is not as simple as it sounds. The marriage and characters with shades of grey becomes the crux of the much-hyped film. Not to forget, the pink cow (shown at the end of every trailer) too plays an important role. The music by Bhardwaj himself is crude and loud just perfect for the film. The fun title track composed by Sukhwinder Singh and Ranjit is already breaking records. Matru Ki Bijli Ka Mandola is all set to woo the audience on January 11, 2013.

Stellar Cast!

03

A good watch Hopefully!


With a picturesque backdrop and an ensemble cast, Broken City by director Allen Hughes is looking like a winner. A disgraced former policeman, Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) is hired by New York Citys mayor (Russell Crowe) to follow his unfaithful wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and investigate about murder, corruption and infidelity. Additionally, the use of an SLR camera for shooting characters in high-shutter speed adds depth to scenes. Broken City hits the theatres on January 18, 2013.
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Words: Shruti Gattani

04

MOVIES

Smokin Hot!

Action, drama and leggy-babes in bikini What more can you ask for from a Bollywood film?
The Race franchise with its elaborate, secret-filled plot is back and this time with a new set of jaw-dropping star cast. The only two actors reprising their roles are Saif Ali Khan and Anil Kapoor, while the others have been replaced by John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Jacqueline Fernandez and Ameesha Patel. Race 2 features Ranveer Singh, the business tycoon, who is now mourning his fiance Sonias (Bipasha Basu) death and has sworn to take revenge. While trying to catch Sonias killers, he takes help from a mafia don Armaan (Abraham) and his pretty, sultry partner Ileena (Padukone). In the midst of all these twists, there is Armaans fiance Omisha (Fernandez) who is unaware of Armaans real identity and also has some dark secrets. The fruit-eating cop with his bimbette assistant makes a comeback too. While the narrative does have plenty of masala, its the bikini-clad women who take the movie up two notches. To spruce things up even more, the music by Pritam Chakraborty is fast and peppy and is rocking the charts just like Race. The foot-tapping number Party On My Mind is already is gunning for the top position with Deepika Padukone and our cover girl looking smokin hot. Race 2 by Abbas-Mustan releases on January 25, 2013.
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05
Action!

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters


This Hansel and Gretel is a 3D adventure starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Aterton in an adult take on a childhood favourite. The evil witch is played by Famke Janssen who from the trailers plays her part with finesse and wickedness. The story slightly drifts away from the original tale featuring the brother and sister duo who are left in the forest by their father and tricked by a witch, but who eventually defeat the evil woman, take her wealth and go back to their father. This films storyline shows Hansel and Gretel, 15 years after their encounter with the witch, when they are hired by the Mayor of Augsburg to get rid of an evil sorceress who is going to sacrifice many children. Directed by Tommy Wirkola, the film has been shot aesthetically and recreates an old-town charm. That aside, theres some fantastic prosthetics make-up and mind-blowing action scenes too. The film will give competition to Race 2 at the ticket window on January 25, 2013.
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The fairy tale published in 1812 gets a modern makeover

06

A Winner?

Matt Damon may be out of the Bourne franchise, but his latest movie is garnering him a lot of Oscar buzz.
This American-drama helmed by Gus Van Sant and starring Matt Damon in the lead follows two corporate salesmen (Steve Butler and Sue Thomason) who reach a rural town to buy the drilling rights from local residents. The task, which is not an easy one, becomes the crux of the film, as a schoolteacher along with another motivated man protest and become Butlers rivals. See it for Matts fantastic performance. Promised Land will try to compete with Bhardwajs next on January 11, 2013.
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PROFILE

07

The Entertainer

Karsh

Kale

... reveals why music no longer needs dancing around the trees, the instruments he can play and the face of music that for a very longtime didnt exist

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Words: Shruti Gattani

January 2013

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he warming cocktails aside, Karsh Kales unconventional music kept the crowd entertained at the recent Chivas Studio. The Indian-American tabla player who got the Collectiv (his Indian band) with him has been passionate about music since he was five. The self-taught artiste was responsible for introducing the Asian underground genre mixing different kinds of styles to create unique tunes. I didnt have a guru and learnt everything by watching Zakir Hussain on TV. Late Pandit Ravi Shankar was a great inspiration too, recalls Kale. Described as a visionary composer and producer by Billboard, apart from being hailed as one of the most innovative scorers known for mixing Indian classical and folk with electronica and rock, Karsh also has mad deejaying skills. I first picked up drum sticks, however the tabla caught my attention. Then I went to study music at NYU and sort of stood out as the tabla guy. Soon after I started collaborating with a lot of artists, known and unknown, and it was the start of my journey, he shares. His tracks on HBOs hit show True Blood and the Farhan Akhtar starrer Karthik Calling Karthik garnered him rave reviews. Kale also worked with Midival Punditz on re-scoring Bruce Lees 1978 film Enter The Dragon. That aside, his association with Bill Laswell, Sting, Norah Jones and Anoushka Shankar helped him shine. After I entered the scene, I recorded my own albums, and in the midst of that I got signed on by Six Degrees Records and I became a part of Tabla Beat Science the band founded by Bill Laswell and led by Zakir Hussain. Kales first album, Realize, released in 2001, was a compilation of 13 original tracks and got him instant fame, but Bollywood isnt for him as he feels it hampers his creativity, which is why after composing a few numbers he stepped back. With movies you need to only give what theyve asked for Its kind of hardcore as your ability to create and compose is limited and you have to stick to the script, he explains. The 38-year-old was born as Utkarsha Kale in England, but moved to New York when his parents relocated. After shifting, he changed his name to Karsh because his younger brother couldnt pronounce it. Also, if youre growing up in the US, your name can be butchered to be the butt of every joke, so I thought

its better to change it, Kale adds with a laugh. His father introduced him to the music of The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, while his own work is heavily influenced by the likes of Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. Today, a total of six albums and 50 tracks make him one of the best fusion performers. His third album, Broken English with Anoushka Shankar elevated his position further. Shes a fabulous composer and a close friend. Our collaboration got positive reviews, so we soon released a second album, Breathing Under Water, he informs us. Apart from the Karsh Kale Collectiv, he also has a band in the US called Cinema Large. I toured with them once in India, but its very difficult to get them here, so The Collectiv was formed last year. Warren Mendonsa is a fab guitarist and other guys including singer Shilpa Rao are extremely talented and original. I remember I had a concert, the finale, and we were suppose to perform for the first time, but we guys didnt have time to rehearse and walked on stage straightaway. The coordination and overall outcome was splendid, and it was then I realised that with this band I can be me, he shares. Quiz him if the music industry has changed in the last five years and he laughs, At least theres an industry now and artists can reach audiences. Unlike earlier, you dont have to go to labels and feel the burden of releasing an album to get noticed. You can just upload things on Soundcloud. He thinks bands like Shaair + Func, Indus Creed, Soulmate and Swarathma are changing the Indian scenario. Theres a Bollywood cult and then there are guys like Raghu Dixit, Dualist Inquiry etc. focusing on different styles like electronica, rock, jazz, blues and even regional. To me this is music and not the actors dancing around trees. All that is fake, Kale voices. There are so many singers in my band who have sung for films, but people dont remember them. They only see Kareena dancing on it or the songs are referred to as a Shah Rukh-song or a Salman-song, he adds. Before we wrap, Karsh tells us hes into books, history and American politics. So did you vote this time? Unfortunately I didnt as I was in a flight, but I voted last time and besides, I knew New York will vote Obama, he ends.
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HIS INNER CIRCLE


Of course his name has to be here. I have worked with him on 30 compositions and then in the band Table Beat Science as well. With him I have explored my talent and delved into styles like jazz, pop and rock. Ive also worked with his wife Gigi, who is a famous Ethopian singer. Bill is somebody I listened to and took inspiration from when I was growing up in the 80s and the 90s.

Bill Laswell

Warren Mendonsa

A part of the Collectiv, he is kind of my partner and co-producer. We only met last year and since then we have done so many gigs together. In other words, he evolves the band.

anoushka shankar

She is a very close friend, especially after we worked on the album back in 2006. The collaboration turned into a 2-year project and since then, she has been my critic too. Whenever Im stuck at something, she helps me out and tells me what to do. Like the Punditz, her opinion is very important. In fact, before the world hears my tracks, they are the first ones to know about it.

For me Zakir bhai is the ultimate man and my guru. I learnt tabla as a child by seeing him perform on stage and how he used to navigate. So it was like a dream come true when I met my idol and performed with him.

Zakir Hussain

Midival Punditz

They are my partners in crime. You know we share a great relationship, even though we do our own albums, we still work and tweak each others compositions. And that way, we were always involved with each other. At the studio, they take a backseat when Im adding elements to their tunes, and I do the same. Weve grown together!
January 2013 43

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GAMES

far cry 3 killing fields

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Review

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January 2013

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Words: Arup Das

Far Cry 3 is the benchmark for all open world games with unlimited exploring and combat options along with life-like graphics that easily make it one of the best games at the moment

ropical islands are synonymous with ultimate tourist destinations lush green surroundings, colourful flowers and fruits, gorgeous women in tiny bikinis; all next to a serene ocean. But enter the world of Far Cry 3 and all your notions of a tropical island paradise are turned upside down. Rook Island is no paradise, but instead its a haven for some ruthless pirates and slave traders. The story is quite simple. You are Jason Brody who goes out skydiving with his

friends on a vacation and ends up in the land of scalawags and cold-hearted murderers. Everyone is captured but due to some confusion, you manage to escape from a makeshift prison determined that you will free your friends as well. The storyline is a bit thin, but thats not the USP of the game. Far Cry 3 pushes the limits and defines what an open world game should be like. Taking a cue from Assassins Creed, this games detailed work is truly a diehard gamers

delight as it makes the surroundings look realistic, but the standout feature is how the characters appear as close to real as possible. The graphics are topnotch just like Arkham City and make you actually feel like you really are in the thick of things. This troubled island entices you to want to complete each and every challenge. We have to give full credit to the games makers and developers for making a terrifying insane villain in the form of Vaas. This deranged pirate is quite charismatic in his

09

Action-packed!

This hard-hitting online game, is loaded with action and releases on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. Moving away from games like Street Fighter and Tekken, this one has even more fights, punches and kick-ass powers. The various fighters possess their own moves and are pitted against other deadly characters. As you defeat the opponent, you move up a level and gain more benefits. There are both single and multiplayer modes. Tag Team, Battle Royale, Death Match, Capture the Flag, and Survival are the different multiplayer modes. Release Date: January 11, 2013

anarchy reigns

10

A bloody affair!

DmC: Devil May Cry


The upcoming hack and slash beat em up video game developed by Ninja Theory, is a reboot and has a different plotline than the other games from the same series. Set in a parallel universe, when Dante wakes up from a hangover, he finds himself in Limbo City, which is known for demons and monsters. He joins the army to fight against the villain, Vergil. In the battlefield, he learns that he is the child of a demon and an angel. Despite the fact that the trailers got negative reviews, we are still waiting for the hard-core action the game promises. Release Date: January 15, 2013

psychotic way and is pure unadulterated entertainment. Far Cry 3 brings a lot to the table and keeps you busy whether you are driving in the jungle or climbing the outposts to fix disabled radios. Each of these missions help you unlock areas, weapons, map information and skills. There are also assignments that test your survival skills like hunting or gathering herbs. The unique factor is the fact that the threat to you isnt just from pirates, but the
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also wild animals and creatures that roam the jungle. The Cooperative Gameplay or Co-op is a fantastic additional campaign where up to four players can play together online. This can also be played in split-screen mode with six-missions. The campaign gets two additions the Battle Cry and Booster Systems. Battle Cry speeds up your movement and re-energises your health, which all team members in range benefit from, while

Boosters are life boosts you can offer to another player. Once you are totally consumed by the game and its beautifully detailed graphics, the storyline becomes non-existent. Yes it does sound quite silly that a rich kid suddenly turns into a cold-blooded crusader who takes on pirates to save his friends, but the gaming world is not about being logical, rather its the gameplay that counts and Far Cry 3 seems to pack in just that after its previous installment flopped big time.
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CARS

11

Poor Mans ML

Mahindra Ssyangyong Rexton


The Rexton is a fabulous or a fabulously bad car depending on how many lakhs you have in your bank account
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here are two ways to get a double-barrel surname you can marry William, sunbathe without your bottom on in France or you can watch as your company gets bought out by another like Rexton did. Add to this the fact that the Rexton probably has a more illustrious heritage than the naked Dutchess. It was born to German parents (based on the Mercedes Benz W163ML platform) it was then sold off to the South Koreans (the good or the bad ones depending on the side you were on during the Cold War) and then landed in India through an Indian automobile manufacturer. Even if you ignore the rest of the ranting, if the words Mercedes, Mahindra, India hit home youve probably got more takeaway from the intro than our Prime Ministers speech after the Anti-Rape protests. The Rexton is a fabulous car, but the best thing about it isnt its engine, its automatic transmission, safety features or its trim, but its price tag. By now, pros at the price tag war, Mahindra has positioned Ssyangyong Rexton a cool two odd lakhs below the likes of the one-a-month selling Mitsubishi Pajero Sport or even the SUV that Punjabi wet dreams are made of the Toyota Fortuner. The Rexton is a fabulous/ boring car depending on whether you can afford the ML or not. The Mahindra signature is mercifully missing in design (save for a small chrome badge on the tailgate) inside the power train is a 2.7 litre, 5-cylinder diesel mated to 5-speed automatic or manual. Even though on paper the automatic transmission seems to be the meatier one of the two producing 22 bhp more than the manuals 162bhp, its let down by an appallingly lazy gearbox. The automatic also gets an AWD, which we are told can make this two tonne behemoth do 100 in

10.9 seconds. The automatic also comes with buttons on the steering to shift gears manually and a switch on the gear stalk to shift up and shift down. Unarguably, the Rexton is infinitely more fun to drive in the manual mode, which leads us to wonder whether its the manual and not the automatic that is the one to bet on (the manual is even cheaper than Endeavour). Even then, this isnt the car youd go nuts in, or have a lot of fun in there isnt one lunatic bone in its body its made to cruise, crush potholes under its 16 inch tyres and trod over most things thanks to its 252 mts ground clearance. Its what youd call a civilised SUV especially in its fighting league. Agreed the Fortuner seems angrier, more aggressive and the Endeavour has the whole breadbox on wheels thing going on, but thats where the place lies for the Rexton its the car that none of Mahindras cars have ever been accused of the softie amongst goons. The dashboard, though stocked, is lagging at least a decade behind other cars, but the Rexton more than makes up for this by the sheer amount of goodies it has to offer. Everything from a touchscreen interface, rear sensors, cruise control, climate control, intelligent headlamps and wipers and what not. The seats come with the memory function and they automatically adjust to aid in ingress and egress once you jam in the key. That said, the Rexton very much isnt the car youd drive if you were 30 and had the money to throw, its the kind of a car you borrow from your father when you are 22.

` 17.67lakh (MT), 19.67lakh (AT) Torque 34.7kgm (MT), 41kgm (AT) Power 162bhp (MT), 184bhp (AT)

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January 2013

Words: Kabeer Sharma

mahindra rexton

Car Specs

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Figo Rejigged

12
Figo 2.0

CARS

Fords bestseller, Figo, is back with subtle changes, and they have ironed out niggling problems that the older model battled with

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January 2013

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Words: Arup Das

he midlife crisis was slowly catching up to Ford Figo and the manufacturer didnt want to make the mistake of living off its past laurels. This hatchback has been nothing short of a lifeline for Ford in India and now after giving the segment leader Maruti Swift a serious scare since 2010, the US automaker has launched its new avatar. Ford hasnt completely gone the Pamela Anderson way by just doing cosmetic changes, they are actually functional, uh, we mean the Figo. The increased proportions of the headlights provide better visibility for the driver as it comes with a larger reflective surface rather than simply improving the cars looks. The bezel treatment on the fog lamps has improved its use too. The Figo looks like it has spent some time in the gym as the new chrome finished nose styling and the hexagon grille gives it a more muscular look. This design trend has been taken from Fords Down Under team. Therefore there is a stark resemblance between the new look Figo and the Falcon, a sedan sold in Australia. Even though Figos design might not be as radical as the Swift, but the new 14-inch alloys adds the much needed a sporty flair. As this car been a great hit among first time car owners, the new Figo now comes with two new vibrant colours Kinetic Blue and Bright Yellow to attract more youngsters. Thankfully, the lime eyesore Green Squeeze colour has finally been discontinued. Ford has retained the interiors but they have heeded to popular demand and booted the hideous coral coloured dashboard and Titanium, the top of the line variant, now gets a soothing riviera blue. Due to a lack of patience, we have this tendency of changing radio stations or music tracks frequently, so now Figo gets Fiestas audio system controls behind the steering wheel. One is at peace when you are inside the car as Ford has added additional

insulation that reduces unwanted sounds or engine noise from outside. The front seats even get new headrests and come with much better lumbar support, so one doesnt get backaches after a long drive. For a hatchback in this segment, Figo undoubtedly is one of the most fun cars to drive. Being a typical Ford, it will never fail to deceive you on how well it handles and takes on corners with full confidence. Not even once will it squeal and protest. The gearshift is a lot slicker now and there isnt any false slotting of gears. Also, it doesnt feel heavy and cumbersome. The 1.4-litre diesel engine is a gem sort of deceptive, because on paper it churns out only 69PS, but the Figo never runs out of steam and neither does it struggle in slow traffic. With the incredible torque this engine generates, the car never lacks pulling power. Both the diesel and petrols calibration has been revised but this was more of a boon for the 1.2-lite petrol engine as it is now more responsive. This engine has always been criticised for being sluggish and underpowered but not anymore. Till the 2500rpm range it holds in own. No doubt it gasps for power once it on the highway, but then the Figo is a city car. Thankfully, Ford servicing and spare parts dont cost a bomb anymore like they used to during the Ikon days. The service network is spread all over the country and the quality of their work is top notch. All in all, its still the most value for money hatchback within ` 5.5 lakhs due to the variety of features available and its drive quality and not to mention, the superb built. The diesel variant is undoubtedly the one to buy for its sheer torque and impressive fuel economy.

wORSE THAN HELL CARS


2001 Pontiac Aztek
This marvelous disaster from Pontiac is a classic case of losing the plot. Often touted as the worst car of all time, the Aztek design had been fiddled with, fussed over, cost-shaved and otherwise compromised until the tough, cool-looking concept had been reduced to a bulky, plasticclad mess.

2003 Chevrolet SSR


Please note the SSR stands for Super Sport (read silly) Roadster, well, only if you are good at playing weird sports. With a heavy retractable hardtop the car was supposed to be great, instead it was grating.

2001 Jaguar X type


This was the result of attempt to turn the front-drive compact car into an all-wheel drive sports sedan, a response to entry level luxury sedans like BMW 3 series and Merc C class. The objective of this car was to reach an annual sale of 100,000 units, where it peaked only at 50,000 an year.

1997 Plymouth Prowler


This beast (ugly one) looked like a mean machine from the 22nd century, with the problem that it was launched in the 20th century. Futuristic looks, 3.5 litre V6 and less than spectacular 250 bhp seemed like a car that threatened much; but delivered less.

Car Specs
Price ` 5.82 lakh (ex showroom) Type 3 Cylinder Torque 240 nm Fuel Tank Capacity 55 litres Engine 1493 CC

ford figo

2000 Ford Excursion


It weighed 7,000 lbs, measured almost 19 ft. long and stood 6.5 ft. tall, and at a time when the company could foresee its mammoth debt.
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OU R
POSTER

FOR

LI
Bra - La Senza, Singlet - Super Dry, Pants - Zara, Bracelet (with silver disc) - Aquamarine Bracelet (with diamante) - Curio Cottage Shoes - Steve Madden Hip chains - stylists own
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GIRL
THE

FE
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ISLAND
JACQUELINE FERNANDEZ has just bought an island off the coast of Sri Lanka...in this interview she talks about streaking (not really)
January 2013 51

Overalls - Diesel, Bikini top - Roxy, Scarf - Celio, Hairband - Forever New, Sunglasses - Blur, Shoes - Aldo

Jacqueline Fe r n a n d e z

he last time Jacqueline Fernandez was on the FHM cover, the Greece economy wasnt in the crapper, Germany were still football champions, Julian Assange hadnt been arrested, Robert Downey Jr had been part of only one movie from the Sherlock Holmes and Iron Man franchises, iPads hadnt been invented, and Kim Jong Il, Osama Bin Laden as well as Steve Jobs were all still alive. Between then and now, Miss Fernandez might not have managed to get herself a hit movie in the traditional sense of the term, but she has done an item song in Housefull, a substantial role in Housefull 2 and a very memorable too-hot-to-handlewithout-gloves role in Murder 2. She has also managed to get herself a legion of followers, a couple of ads, made herself a PETA ambassador and turned Jacky Oh into the most clichd headline for her interviews, but even more than that she has managed to unify Indian men. And thats a tough task. Indian men havent been united in their disapproval of anything as they have been of Pakistan beating the stuffing out of us in cricket and then hockey, Manmohan Singhs ED as a politician and Jacqueline Fernandez choice of a lover. If rumours are to be believed (and there are a lot of them, with each one quoting some credible anonymous source or another), Miss Fernandez has taken on a particular Mr Khan as her preferred gentleman caller much to the disappointment of just about anyone who wears boxers to work. Its also rumoured that the said gentlemen caller was the reason for her passing on Krissh 3 as well as all her wardrobe choices. Whats the point if controversial news is believed more than me, she protests. We meet her at a studio in Mumbai and the discussion steers towards a particular fashion magazine with a gift for making covergirls look awful, her ability to blow comically large

Words by Kabeer Sharma Photography by Rohan Shrestha Styling by Nitasha Gaurav

chewing gum bubbles and her obsession with olives. Yes I do love olives, but there seems to be some misunderstanding about it being my obsession... she trails off. In between shots, the conversation has moved to the protests in Delhi after the gang rape of a 23 year-old-girl. Rape, molestation, sex crimes involve thousands of innocent people and we need to make sure that it is not our loved ones who might be the next victims. It will affect the societys growth if the judicial system continues to not react with an iron fist, she asserts strongly. So we ask her if shes pro-protests. People are out on the streets trying to protect their rights and safety, she argues. Jacqueline however doesnt think the answer just lies in making Indian men more sensitive to women, More than men becoming sensitive to women, it is women who need to be educated on their rights. Miss Fernandez has lived in Sri

Rape, molestation,
se x c r i m es i n v o lv e tho u s a n d s of i n n o c e n t peop l e a n d w e n ee d to m a k e s u re th a t i t i s n ot o u r l o v e d o n es w ho m i g ht b e the next victims.

Lanka (she was born and won the Miss SL crown there), Bahrain, Australia (where she studied) and now India lending her a very well rounded charm. She also loves cooking, still hangs up stockings for Santa Claus to fill on Christmas and apparently loves doing sequels the latest one is Race 2 (shes done the part deux for Murder 2 and Housefull 2 before this) in which shes setting the screen on fire with lan. But there must be some pressure on her to make a mark for herself in Murder 2 she stepped into Mallika Sherawats shoes while Housefull 2 was populated by Deepika Padukone and Lara Dutta which she easily dismisses. Theres only so much you can do as an actor. You dont control the script or your character. You only control your performance. Do that well and people will forget to make comparisons with others. True to what she says, her loitering on the beach in Murder 2 has already taken the place of Ms Sherawats bikini-clad image from the original Murder in our minds. And if you saw the first edition of Race, youd know its hardly one of those running around a tree looking pretty kind of a role, Miss Fernandez has gone ahead and got herself one of those gruelling, bruise-inducing characters. Miss Fernandez, who is at her hottest yet, has turned into a major yoga and gymnastic nut. Surely there are easier roles out there? Ya, but those easier roles have not come my way though I would take them happily! For Race 2, I did some crossfit with Deepesh (Bhat) and he threw in some gymnastics too, which was insane. I also upped my yoga routine to a more advanced stage, she says. We ask her if her character is similar to Irene Adler from Sherlock Holmes considering she does play a con-woman in the movie and she thinks about it for a bit. It is and it isnt, she finally responds. I loved her in Sherlock Holmes. In fact, she kicks ass and thats why I love her. But my character definitely has the potential to stand out as well as shes

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Jacqueline Fe r n a n d e z
dark in a positive kind of way, she says. She shared a couple more things about her role in Race 2 all of which weve completely forgotten because weve been unashamedly staring at her in a cutaway bikini and denim shorts. Its the kind of image timeless pin-ups are made of. Truth be told, weve spent much of the shoot standing and staring (bordering on trolling) and come up with our own observations about Miss Fernandez. Firstly, she looks kickass in overalls, bikinis and military jackets. Secondly, she seems a lot taller in movies than she is in real life, which is the reason why you wont be giving yourself a stroke or get your palms all sweaty merely at the prospect of talking to her. Wed glean more info about her life off-screen, but of course shes not talking about her personal life. She is also not answering questions about whether she is single or not, just to make sure you hang on to the last bit of hope, suspended safely in the space between her being available and not being available.

olives, but there seems to be s o m e m i s u n d e r s ta n d i n g a b o u t it being my obsession...

Yes I do love

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January 2013

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Bustier Guess, Blouse Zara, Skirt Super Dry, Watch Diesel, Dog tags stylists own, Shoes Tresmode

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January 2013

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this page: Peekaboo mailot Shrivan & Narresh, Shorts - Guess, Belt - Zara, Cap - Celio, Wristlet - Blur, Shoes - Tresmode next page: Jacket - Zara, Belt - Diesel, Shorts - Guess, Ring - Blur, Shoes - Steve Madden

o n t h e s t r e e ts t ry i n g to p r ot ec t t h e i r r i g h ts a n d safety

People are out

Jacqueline Fe r n a n d e z

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January 2013

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Keith Richards, 69, Lead Guitarist


At a party in the 70s, he once nearly burned down the Playboy Mansion (in his words: basically its a whorehouse).

The Rolling
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Charlie Watts, 71, Drummer

The drummer of the worlds greatest rock n roll band hates rock n roll, and instead considers himself more of a jazz musician.

Ronnie Wood, 65, Guitarist

Now married to 34-year-old Sally Humphreys, he once dated Russian artist Ekaterina Ivanova and was accused of dragging her along the street in Surrey, and threatening her with a lit cigarette.

Stones
Mick Jagger, 69, Lead Vocalist
Apart from sleeping with Sarkozys wife Carla Bruni and getting dumped by Jolie, he has also bedded men.
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Concerts have Grossed over $750 million


Before The Rolling Stones became famous as the worlds greatest rock n roll band, they had already claimed the title of the Bad Boys of music. Back in the 60s, the five-member band were far away from being clean-cut guys and instead headlined every tabloid in the US and the UK with their drug abuse and arrest warrants. But did that stop them from creating history? Not at all! Their passion for music placed them at the top position, at times surpassing their friends-cumrivals The Beatles and made them into legends Words Shruti Gattani

Rock n Roll Hall of Fame in Jan 1989

Sold more than 200 million albums

Contrary to popular belief, The Beatles and The Rolling Stones were actually very good friends. In fact, The Beatles admired The Stones for not wearing matching stage suits, which the Beatles donned to win affection from the fans

FYI

eet The Rolling Stones. These days their lifestyle is quite different from what you would think and the four-member band is only photographed by the paparazzi for their events and performances. With a squeaky clean image Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts and Ronnie Wood are now the old men of Rock n Roll hedonism. Compare their looks to young lads like Bieber, and they look like the men from the Axe ad. Luscious hair, great bodies and a personality that even at 69 will forcefully draw your attention. What is crazier is their enthusiasm to perform at gigs even after 50 years. Their energy level and Jaggers voice can even give Lady Gaga an adrenaline rush.

Rollin Stones Everyone knows The Stones untamed history, however their oldest member Jagger throws some light on things, It was a very different time back then. There was no popular culture and music wasnt an intellectual subject... it just was. We became a part of a great phenomenon and suddenly we were in magazines and newspaper. Many know that Jagger and Richards were childhood friends and bumped into each other after a long time. Their passion for music brought them together and that was the beginning of an era. With Jagger as the frontman, Keith (Richards) and Brian Jones were on the guitar backed by bassist Bill Wyman and drummer Charlie Watts. Rollin Stones as

they were originally called became a new sensation in the Blues scene. Our name was based on a song Mannish Boy by Muddy Waters who we absolutely loved. Later on, our manager added a g making it The Rolling Stones, Richards shares. As The Stones gained popularity, they started experimenting. However, all this wasnt without difficulty. Their contemporaries, The Beatles and The Kinks were tough competitors and additionally, changes in the line-up, the death of Jones and a concertgoer shot dead all took place one after the other. But none of this stopped them. We started off really small, doing what we wanted to do, which was to play music and to bring America the music that was
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Jagger and Richards went to jail in 1967

Played more than 2061 gigs

Backstage area is Shebeen


Your Man, Little Red Rooster and (I Cant Get No) Satisfaction, Jaggers rustic-style dancing became so famous that it inspired the recent hit Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera. Its very flattering to have a song about the dance I did, Jagger states. Quiz him if the moves were spontaneous or choreographed and he replies, When I was younger, mum tried to teach me the waltz, but it wasnt really my thing. I never had a choreographer. It just came to me. At that time I was very taken by Little Richards and his movements. Success came at a young age, so surely there were things that they did absolutely wrong I dont know if we did anything wrong, really, Jagger cuts in. When we started out we just wanted to get the music out there. We knew, of course that if we were successful then the fame and everything would come with it, but it has always been about giving back what we got and getting great music out, he explains. While it was a snakes-and-ladders journey for the band, they feel its a whole different age now. Rock was a completely new form when we started and rock n roll has evolved since then. Also, theres so much more exposure to new music now and so much possibility, Wood voices. Just like the growth in rock, The Stones camp feels their fans have grown up along with them apart from the new fans who have joined in. Now they only meet at the recording studio once in a while. Though for celebrating the bands 50th Anniversary, The Stones came together to release a compilation album Grrr! with their best singles. This album tells our story, our journey and everything weve been through in the last 50 years. Of course, weve had different members over the years, but it has always been and will always survive as The Rolling Stones, Jagger proudly states. Do you think of anyone as competition today? We werent really competitive. Back then we were on contention with The Beatles. I think people thought of them as the good guys and we were the bad guys. I like to believe, we are still, Jaggers ends with a laugh.
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tHE ROLLING STONES TRIVIA


They almost became a Rock n Roll casualty in 1963 when their van skidded off a bridge, but it didnt flip over. Their road manager and piano player Ian Stewart was driving. Brian Jones was found dead in his swimming pool on July 3, 1969. The coroners report listed death by misadventure. He had major drug problems and left the band a few weeks earlier. Jagger was knighted in 2002. Richards thought it was very hypocritical of him to accept the honour, since The Stones have always been critical of the British monarchy and English law. Mick Jaggers dressing room is called Workout, Charlie Watts room is called Cotton Club, Ron Wood is in Recovery and Keith has Camp X-Ray.

right at their doorstep but they werent listening to it. We love RnB and it has always been about the music for us, adds Richards. Would You Let Your Daughter Marry a Rolling Stone? Unlike the meek Beatles, Stones were always hard-hitting and abusive. Picking up from their notorious demeanour, manager Andrew Oldham promoted them around the globe. Whenever they toured, the newspapers read, Would You Let Your Daughter Marry a Rolling Stone. While young girls and boys hooted for them, adults detested them. The reason: the controversies that (somehow) surrounded the band perpetually. From drug possession to
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umpteen affairs that created nationwide debate, there were too many incidents to remember. One article that led to widespread hullabaloo was about the band urinating in public. In those days people were very easily shocked. Now youve got a few scandals in your daily papers, but back then it wasnt like that. So people and the press played up what we did, even though what we were doing wasnt really that shocking, Charlie Watts says with a smile. Also, back then the industry was different too. If you were in show business you had to behave in a certain manner and conduct yourself properly. We didnt create controversies, at least, we didnt intend to, he smirks. Moves Like Jagger Apart from hits like I Wanna Be

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The Rolling Stones The Rolling Stones, 1964 No. 2, 1965

The Rolling Stones, Now!, 1965

Out Of Our Heads, 1965

Decembers Children (And Everybodys), 1965

Aftermath, 1966

Between the Buttons, 1967

Their Satanic Majesties Request, 1967

Beggars Banquet, 1968

Let It Bleed, 1969

Sticky Fingers, 1971

Exile on Main St., 1972

Goats Head Soup, 1973

Its Only Rock n Roll, 1974

Black and Blue, 1976

Some Girls, 1978

Emotional Rescue, 1980

Tattoo You, 1981

Undercover, 1983

Dirty Work, 1986

Steel Wheels, 1989

Voodoo Lounge, 1994

Bridges to Babylon, 1997 A Bigger Bang, 2005

Grrr!, 2012

The rolling stones trivia

Keith Richards failed his driving test three times and sent his minder instead to impersonate him. The minder eventually passed on Richards behalf. The album cover of Sticky Fingers was designed by Andy Warhol. Rumour has it that Andy Warhol also designed the famed Rolling Stones tongue logo, or it could have ben either John Pasch or Craig Braun.

Mick Jagger doesnt shy away from diaper duty. In fact, hes quite good at it. Ive always changed nappies, for other peoples children as well as my own, he said. I change[d] Ronnie Woods childrens nappies. You do these things when its necessary although Im not about to become a full-time house-husband like John Lennon did at one stage [but] Im relatively experienced and I quite enjoy it.
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Charlie Watts was awakened in the middle of the night by a call from a drunk and coked-up Mick Jagger who was screaming, Wheres my f*ckin drummer? Watts calmly got up, dressed in his usual impeccable dark suit, shined shoes and tie, pocket scarf, went over to Micks hotel room and punched Jagger in the face, without so much as raising his voice, he said, Dont you ever call me your drummer again. Youre my singer.
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HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW tHE ROLLING STONES?


Take our quiz and find out if you are a loyal Rolling Stones fan 01 Who is the sixth Rolling Stone? a A stone they found on the way that looked like Jagger. b Piano player Ian Stewart who died of a heart attack in 1985. c Ron Wood who was a member of the group The New Barbarians. 02 What is the name of Bill Wymans restaurant in London? a Julies Restaurant b Ping Pong c Sticky Fingers 03 Which band member coined the term Groupie during their 1965 Australian tour? a Bill Wyman b Mick Jagger c Keith Richards 04 Which band member said, Its a noise we make. Thats all. You could be kind and call it music. a Ronnie Wood b Charlie Watts c Mick Jagger 05 The lip and tongue logo was inspired from whom? a The Indian Hindu goddess Kali The Destroyer b Joe Walsh US Congressman c Angelina Jolies pout 06 Where did The Stones most infamous drug bust occurr? a Redlands, Keith Richards English estate b White House concert c Mustique, Jaggers holiday home 07 Who wrote Ill be your mistress forever for Mick Jagger? a Angelina Jolie b Carla Bruni c Uma Thurman 08 The first single from The Rolling Stones album Bridges T o Babylon featured which celebrity? a Model Jerry Hall b Angelina Jolie c Brazilian model Luciana Morad 09 The Rolling Stones hit I Wanna Be Your Man was written especially for them by which artists? a John Lennon and Paul McCartney (The Beatles) b Ray and Dave Davies (The Kinks) c Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey (The Who) 10 Who are the Glimmer Twins producers of The Rolling Stones albums? a Mick Jagger and Keith Richards b Don Was and Chris Kimsey c Brothers Grimm (Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm) 11 Which song was the band performing when young boy Meredith Hunter was stabbed and killed at the concert in California in 1969? a (I Cant Get No) Satisfaction b Under My Thumb c Out of Time 12 Which band member was taken to the hospital after throwing a punch at his girlfriend and smashing his fist into a metal window frame? a Mick Jagger b Ronnie Wood c Brian Jones 13 Which was the only Rolling Stones studio album that failed to reach the top 5 in the UK album charts? a Their Satanic Majesties Request (1967) b Steel Wheels (1989) c Bridges To Babylon (1997)

Answers
1 b, 2 c, 3 a, 4 c, 5 a, 6 a, 7 b, 8 b, 9 a, 10 a, 11 b, 12 b, 13 c
T ell us how did you find their latest compilation Grrr! at fhm@maxposure.in facebook.com/fhmindia twitter @fhmindia

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What would the most addictive game on Earth look like if FHM got its dirty hands on it? Just like this
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UNSACKABILITY UPGRADE PACK IAN HOLLOWAY MODE


Are you mental in the head enough to emulate the mighty Olly? In our reboot of Football Manager, after a match you are presented with a text box with space for 1,000 words. You can only progress if you can fill the box with complete bollocks, with as little of it actually relating to your team and players. Be inspired by this real life example [Olly on scraping a win]: If youre a burglar, its no good poncing about outside somebodys house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I dont advocate that obviously, its just an analogy. Tenacity and determination are admirable traits in a manager. Hanging on to the job when its clear that youre way out of your depth? Not so much. None of that stopped Steve Kean as his tenure as Blackburn manager became increasingly tragic. Fan protests and relegation werent enough to earn him the boot as the Rovers board erected some kind of sack-proof force field around the manager. Stick this upgrade into our football manager game and no matter how hard you fail, the board wont show you the door. See if you can last until the supporters come round and torch your car.

STEVE mclaren mode


If you fancy managing a foreign team but feel daunted by the challenge of an international league, simply emulate Englands least popular manager by attempting to master the local lingo. Dont fancy learning another language? Dont worry, just speak in a slightly weird accent. If that fails, take the focus off your team by erecting a brolly on the touchline and praying for lightning.

BONUS LEVEL: TWEET DELETE CHAIRMAN OVERRIDE


In this glitch on the game, your success can be cruelly scuppered by the Chairman Override. Mid-way through the season your screen will lock, while a remote source (usually based in Russia) starts to extract players from your team, add unknown names to your squad and insist upon having an input in the starting line-up. Offset integrity by demanding a 350% pay increase and your own private jet. Liven up your FHM Football Manager experience with this new high-octane addition, where your players tweets pop up on your screen in real time. Youll have only seconds to react to their declarations, including: the ref woz a propa nob ne1 wanna help me stab him? and didnt realise all our supporters were such pricks!!!!1! #deadlineday. Fail to delete them in time and face being hit with hefty legal fees, or being without key players due to lengthy court cases.

CLUELESS EGOMANIAC challenge


Take a well-run, fairly successful club and bring it to its knees as quickly as possible. Like Claude Anelka did at Raith Rovers. Bored with being brother Nicolass agent, Claude persuaded the Rovers board to let him be boss (mainly by waving a 200k cheque at them). Claude brought in a load of players from Frances SEVENTH division. One draw and nine defeats later the dream was over. When the club later tried to release one of Claudes recruits, Mehdi Eloudji, he asked if he could stay on as an odd-job man.

SECRET TACTIC: INVITE REFS ROUND FOR DINNER


Not getting the results you want? Relegation zone looming? Dont worry, enter a secret code and the game allows you to invite referees round for dinner at your house, where you charm them with fine Tuscan wine, Chilean sea bass and menacing Chinese burns. Within no time youll notice penalties going your way and advantageous extended injury time periods. Note: this is 800% more effective if youre playing as Manchester United.

Words: Andy dawson

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IRRATIONAL DISLIKE MODE THE ON-THE-PITCH TEAM TALK


Former Hull City boss Phil Brown is a pioneer, and in FHMs version of Football Manager hes heralded as the hero he is. Youll have the option to emulate his greatest moments, such as conducting a half-time team talk on the pitch in front of the fans, as he did at the Etihad stadium back in 2008. Okay, so his players looked utterly bemused by the stunt but after losing the first half 4-0, they pulled off a heroic, erm, 1-1 draw in the second. Opt for the full-on Phil Brown mode and you unlock the option to choose just how orange your face is It doesnt matter who you are, some people that you have to work with will wind you right up for no real reason. Maybe its the way they talk or their stupid face. Chances are that as a football manager, youll be in charge of some of them. In our game, youre allowed to be as deranged and irrational as you like when it comes to despising your own players. It worked for partially cuckoo ex-France boss Raymond Domenech. He had no time for players named Leo, once saying, When I have a Leo in defence, Ive always got my gun ready as I know hes going to want to show off at one moment or another and cost us.

HAVE IT OFF WITH YOUR PLAYERS WIVES


Just like [NAME REMOVED] and [NAME REMOVED]. Remember when [NAME REMOVED] got sacked by [CLUB REMOVED] even though hed got them to [POSITION REMOVED] in the league? Yeah, that

WITCHCRAFT
Sometimes, a run of crappy results can only be explained by a gypsy curse. Luckily, our game will let you beat it, just like ex-Birmingham boss Barry Fry did by pissing on all four corners of the pitch. I had to squirt and then hold it in while I walked around, said Baz. When youve gone three months without a win, youll try anything. It didnt work they sacked him shortly afterwards.

PAOLO DI CANIO RUMBLE PACK


When your boss calls you, One of the worst players I have ever seen at a football match, you know you need to buck your ideas up a bit. The man-management expert behind those words was Paolo di Canio, after he had hauled off his keeper Wes Foderingham with only twenty minutes of a match against Preston gone and the team 2-0 down. Mentalist? Paolo? Probably. A couple of days later, di Canio was STILL raging, insisting that Foderingham would have to apologise to him before he would be considered for the first team again.

DODGY DEALS CHEAT SCREEN


Hold Ctrl, Alt and F6 down together for six seconds and a pop-up window will appear where you can fiddle with your finances and avoid the virtual taxman. Special features include off-shore bank accounts named after dogs, high-risk investment schemes, and filtering your players wages through your wifes pension scheme.

SMOKING MANAGEMENT OPTION


Some of the greatest players in the history of the game have been chain-smokers. Johan Cruyff, Socrates, Zinedine Zidane, erm, Mario Balotelli. Giving your players the option to puff away on the fags after a training session just might help them relax. Included will be the option take it a step further and let your goalkeeper spark up mid-match while the action is down the other end of the pitch. Perhaps you could play at the other extreme altogether and be like former Wimbledon boss Egil Olsen, who used to chase smoking strangers down the street and demand that they stop.

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Ask the Wife Screen

Struggling to figure out which strike partnership to rotate to for that difficult game? Forget tinkering with tactics just hold down the space bar for 10 seconds and youre taken to the wife advice secret screen, where you can quiz your missus on which goalies name sounds the luckiest. It worked for Stuart Pearce, right?

Player Respect Override

CUSTOMIsE YOUR MANAGER


Tweak your managers physical appearance using the in-game gaffer-editor.

Face Hue
Your team isnt performing, and worse, your players dont respect you. What do you do to get the team behind you? Simply follow the lead of Andre VillasBoas and put out an official demand that your players come and celebrate a goal with you. Because nothing says togetherness like a bunch of grown men pretending to like their boss.

Select from a whole range of skin tones from Wengers deathly French pallor all the way to Fergies burgundy glow.

Nose picker

In a relegation dog-fight again? Select a stressed-out jumbo-alchy nose from our diverse range of conks and hooters.

Coat selector

Options include bespoke Italian tailoring, inordinately large puffa jacket or poor-fitting tracksuit with gravy stains down the front.

Gum-chew speed
BRIAN CLOUGH: THE GAME
At the end of the day, most of the enhanced features that weve dreamt up could all be chucked into one mighty game, based on arguably the most glorious football manager of all time Brian Clough. Drinking, smoking, punching underperforming players and misbehaving fans, advertising Shredded Wheat he did the lot. Oh yeah, he won a few cups as well

Decide the pace at which you chew on some Wrigleys, from a relaxed 2-nil up chomp to a high-speed youre-gonna-get-a-boot-in-your-face Ferguson grind.

Body frame

Pick from three: withered by stress, slinkyforeigner or seriously-I-was-top-scorer-in-72 bloater.

Accessorise

Finish off your pixelated boss with a personalitydefining range of accessories, options include a poncily tied scarf, baseball cap or loyal dog by your side (which will also open bank accounts for you if you ask it nicely).

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the sexy flip girls


17 things things you always wanted to ask a Calendar Girl
Words by Kumar Saurav

Based on our interviews with this years Kingfisher calendar girls Kyra, Kanishtha and Elena

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19 thing s
nervous during the shoot?

02 What makes you

Thank god they fit. Haha, says Elena while recalling the joy of wearing a bikini for the first time. She adds, Youre never too sure where the sample has come from, you just know that it will be small and pray that all those intense workouts have paid off, which I am happy to say they did and well, still do, Kyra chips in saying, I would be lying if I say I was not a little nervous because it was my first ever bikini shoot.

Do bikinis always fit?

Bang comes the reply from Kanishtha who says, I wont deny that I was shy at first. A chirpy Kyra chimes in saying, Though I have worn a bikini at beaches and even got casually shot in it, a calendar shoot like this made me nervous because there was a huge crew and cameras that were only focusing on me. All this attention does make you nervous.

So how do you cope with it?

All that initial nervousness you feel is just a mind game, and the moment you realise it, you become more confident and start enjoying the whole process, quips Kyra. An even more confident answer comes from Kanishtha, who says that since she was comfortable in her own skin, she didnt take a lot of time to adjust to the needs of the shoot.

03

what about 05 What Makes 04 And you forget the flaws that become evident in a bikini?
The charming Elena confesses, I have days where its a good day and my hair just sits right and then there are those days when my hair doesnt sit right or my clothes dont match. It comes with being a woman and I have insecurities too. The most important thing is to put those insecurities at the back of your mind and just enjoy the shoot.
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Kyra suggests, If youre looking for flaws in yourself, then your brain is flawed. You need to realise that if you dont see yourself as good enough, no one else will. Kanishtha adds, I love being fit and I am my biggest critic, so I make sure my body is at its fittest before the shoot. I prepare for it like Id prepare for a test or interview.
January 2013 69

your flaws?

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06

Are you made fun of when you dont get the shot?
Its now Kyras turn to make a confession as she tells us, No, instead its me who is always cribbing even when everyone else is telling me that its a great shot. Kanishtha cuts in, I have to tell you that it doesnt really happen. Even Elene feels the same. There are never any jibes hurled at you, I havent dealt with any Simon Cowells or Suhel Seths. Frankly, the mistakes that you make are evident on the images, so you yourself get conscious about them. calendar. Elenas agency told her she should get the perfect shot in maximum 20 shots.

Every girl is uniquely beautiful, so I never get jealous. I just give my best, and it shows in the final product, says Kanishtha. However, for a more acceptable answer we turned to Elena who answered, Im very competitive in the sense that I want to excel and ensure that the client is happy and it is always nice to be the favourite. Who doesnt want to look the best? Right? Right Elena. For Kyra, it doesnt really matter because she understands that everyone knows their job well.

each other?

you get 07 Do jealous of

how many clicks does it take to get the perfect shot?

08

What are the prerequisites of being the perfect calender girl?

09

While Kyra tell us that it would take anywhere between 10 to 15 shots, Kanishtha insists that its either the first or the last shot that ends up in the calendar. Elenas agency told her she should get the perfect shot in maximum 20 shots.

While according to Kyra, its fitness, Kanishtha insists on a healthy body and a beautiful mind. She says, It is all about being comfortable and being happy with every job one does. A completely different take comes from Elena who opinionates, There are no prerequisites like perfection in the eye of the beholder. At the end of the day, we are all Photoshopped and its a models best friend.

10

Why were you selected over other models?

11

Are bikini girls talented?

While Kanishtha believes her unconventional look made her stand out in the audition, Kyra credits her selection to a mix of the right place, right time and right attitude. For Elena, it was her ability to fit in the vision of Atul Kasbekar that sealed the deal for her. She says, Every client has a vision and only those models who fit in the vision bag the deal.

Obviously, yes! affirms Kyra adding, Like dancing is my talent and it has helped me immensely in controlling my body language and in helping me get the right expressions while posing. Kanishtha goes on to add, It doesnt matter if you have a good body but dont have the right skill to give a perfect shot, so yes, you need much more than a good body to pose right.
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12

Encouraging us, Kanishtha says, I understand the profession I am in and Im very comfortable with it. Even Elena maintains the same tone saying, when you are 510 and the average height of girls around you is at the 5ft4 mark, you get used to not fitting in as such. It is like an easier version of the kids game, Wheres Wally. Also, its in a mans genetic makeup to ogle anyway. (Haha!) Men and women desire models, whether for their clothes or the image they are portraying, it goes hand in hand with being a model, so you cannot really be uncomfortable. It comes with the territory.

Do you mind if we ogle?

This is the one thing that the otherwise frank Elena wouldnt reveal. I might have my own set of insecurities, but yes, I have them too, which I wont be specific about because then everyone will pick up on it. While Kanishtha says, If you know that you are prepared, why should you have insecurities?

How insecure are you?

13

19 thing s

What are the instructions passed on to you?

14

What is that one thing you would like to tell girls who want to follow you?

15

A mood board with the look, hairstyles, moves and the general mood they want to achieve is first shown to us. Then the responsibility is on us to deliver, informs Elena. While Kyra says that instructions mainly aim toward letting the model be herself.

Well, first be sure that you are comfortable in a bikini, advises Kanistha. Elena adds, You should pray to the almighty that Vijay Mallaya approves your look just the way he did mine, and you should be thankful to him for providing you with such a great platform.

I make sure that I know exactly whats needed from the shoot. While the team insists that you be natural, you have to understand that you are serving someone elses purpose, and thats what makes you sensible, advises Kyra. As far as Elena is concerned, she tries to embrace the surroundings of the shoot, assess the mood board, the hair and make-up and become the character the team envisions. I pray that I get the shot right in ten clicks.

16

So how exactly do you prepare for a shoot?

If I am not getting the shot right, I like to find out why. Modeling is a learning curve you grow from shoot to shoot, says Elena. Adding to it, Kanishtha says, Why would you not get the right shot if you are prepared? We agree.
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What if you fail to give the right shot?

17

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THE ENDLESS QUEST FOR IMPROVEMENT

74
St o p p u tt i n g i t o f f. G e t a b i c yc l e t o day.

83
T h e w o r l d s best movies about Gandhi

84
The annoying questions every interviewer asks. yes you too.

86
Sta r e at h e r boobs in peace apps which will c h a n g e t h e w ay yo u l e t c h

W h y a b a g e l i s b e tt e r t h a n a g i r l f r i e n d

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fhm promotion

Friends of FHM: (Clockwise) Designer Pawan Sachdeva and Ramola Bachchan in the Designers outfit; Designer Payal Sen; Designers Pawan Sachdeva & Anand Bhushan; Manya Seth; Yuri Suri; Amit Bhasin and Sanjeev Bijli; Ajitabh Bachchan wearing Designer Pawan Sachdevas design

Grand Christmas celebrations


The most stylish Christmas party witnessed the citys crme de la crme at the launch of designer Pawan Sachdevas new design studio

hristmas came calling early as the city witnessed the most styish party hosted by designer Pawan Sachdeva and Ramola Bachchan at the launch of his new studio at The Gallery on MG on December 19. To match the classy interiors of the store, a beautiful mlange of purple and silver was displayed to celebrate the theme. While the pretty women were seen enjoying the music being churned out, the men

were mesmerised with the ensembles unveiled by the designer in his latest mens wear party collection. Amongst the ones who came and congratulated the designer were Sanjeev Bijli, Ajitabh Bachchan, Manya Seth, Shahnaaz Hussain, Yuri Suri, Sonu Wasan, Lakshmi Walia, Dr. Geetika Mittal and fellow designers Anand Bhushan, Payal Sen, Sonia Jetley, Gautam Gupta, Tanieya Khanuja, Rimple Narula, Parul Grover and Latika Khanna.
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U P G R A D E c yc l i n g

uinea FHM G

r t x E

Pigs

t s e t e k i b e em

the route:

mud e r o m lls and ch twoi h , d u M out whithe king of d n fi e w ide is rains r d e l e e wh rse ter e v i d s a & Indi Saurav
umar raphy: K Photog i Gattan Shruti

Good for urban

Cycling increases calorie on consumpti the and raisesrate, metabolic help which can ht. lose weig

The urban fixie wins

y t i C e h t

type

Good for: Looks stylish yet is macho enough for the uber cool man. Fantastic riding comfort and low on maintenance. Bad for: Off-trails. The bike: This one is a classic bike for todays urban man. Made with aluminum crafting the bike stands top guard
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for its strength, rigidity and torsional resistance. The frame geometry seems perfect for the Indian mans body frame. Though equipped with hydraulics you will face a hard time adjusting your bollocks on off-trail tracks. The ride: The gears are a little edgy, hydraulics could have been smoother, though chain transitions are smooth, the bike seems relatively maintenance free. It is a light bike, which means moving up and down the office stairs with it shouldnt drain you of all your energy. Thanks to the brilliant frame of the bike,

want to shell out a bomb on the likes of Cannondale or Schwinn.

your formals/ office wear wouldnt give a weathered-out look. The upright riding position of this bike makes city riding easy and comfortable with increased visibility.

Bad for hills

Fork out for: For metro cities, we suggest you buy portable front lights, side indicators, a bottle holder (heat may suck up all your stamina in peak summer season), bell (the probability of someone jumping in front of your cycle on the road is higher than the PM getting a third term), gloves and helmet. Nishant Nayyar rode: Montra Blues for `17,490, www.montra.in

How much? With its stunning looks, this bike is the perfect fit for first timers who do not

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k c a r t the
type
The speedy racer wins

U P G R A D E c yc l i n g
an Cycling cen your strength tem immune sys rotect a n d ca n P st in a g a you ds of certain kin .. s er c ca n

Good for: Rush-hour public transport, speed enthusiasts. Bad for: Any type of bumpy routes or muddy (non) roads. The bike: The most important characteristics in a racing bicycle are its weight and stiffness that determine the efficiency at which the power from a riders pedal strokes can be transferred to the drive-train and subsequently to its wheels. The sole purpose of this cycle in particular is to provide more speed without keeping the riders comfort level in mind. Therefore, the drop handlebars are positioned lower than the saddle to give a more aerodynamic posture to the rider and that is also why the front and back wheels are close together for quick handling. The ride: On good roads the ride is pretty smooth and enjoyable, however on bumpy and weathered roads like that of smaller towns, the ride can be troublesome. This cycle is built for the athletic kinds, so fat behinds will have a tough time bending, balancing and riding on it. You might even have a tough time riding this bike with your 3-piece on. So if you are riding to work, make sure you are wearing easy formals. The bike seems to perform up to mark while riding uphill and downhill too. Frankly, this bike is not

Bad for off-roads

Good for city

for beginners or amateurs, its for speed enthusiasts who understand the dynamics of track and trail cycling. Fork out for: You would need to shell out some extra dough

for proper gearing. We suggest you get BTWN or Schwinn shoes, cycling gloves, helmet and front lights from Roadster. When out for a casual ride equip yourself with dry fit shorts and jerseys, water

bottles and a handy toolkit. Ryan rode: Bianchi Tiagra Niron 7, front and back aluminium hubs for `79,750

o t d a o R T he el l , hell (wurne) e as t bo
Planning a ride? Equip yourself with these..
76 January 2013 Helmet: always get bright coloured helmets Shoes: You need a nice pair that gives you a good grip on the pedal Headlight: These should be white with a steady or flashing beam fhmindia.com fhmindia fhmindia

A study a 50% reported in reduction fatal and heart non-fatal civil disease inwho servants er 20 cycled ov k. miles/wee

Good for roads

doable as this article winning the Pulitzer. But even then a folding bike has its own advantages you can carry it to your house if you live in an apartment or up to the office where it can sit quietly in a corner while you set about doing corporate slavery. The ride: The foldy is a perfect bike for those who either have a driver bringing their car to work, left it at work last night or dont have a parking spot its the perfect thing for people who want to date people other than just cyclists. Most of the bad PR about foldy bikes comes from them having small wheels and thus, requiring a lot more effort. In a fit of inspired innovation, the fellows at Firefox decided to overcome that by fitting the cycle with full-sized tyres, so if the smaller folding cycles could be lifted clean off your shin and only tore the back of your thigh, this time your twowheeled steed will be smashing into your shins every time. The upside of this Firefox cycle is that its as fast around corners as the regular un-bendy cycles and it weighs 6 kgs less than the regular 18kg cycles. The downside is that you think for the money they are charging theyd at least have given you a belt to tie it when its folded. How much? For something that isnt going to collapse on itself mid-ride, you need to spend at least `13,000 for a bike with six gears, which works for everyday commuting. Kabeer Sharma rode: Firefox Compact Alloy Folding Bike, `12,740, firefoxbikes.com

d a o r n e op
type
The folding bike wins
Good for: Rush-hour public transport, people who want to cycle only one way. Bad for: Hatchbacks, tight corners. The bike: Unlike the good ol land of the king and the naked ginger princes, India doesnt allow bicycles on trains and metros unless they are dismembered and put in a gunnysack. Which means cycling to the metro station, folding your bike, carrying it on your shoulder and hopping into the metro is as

Bad for mud

Lock chain: for those who ride to buy their groceries fhmindia.com

Gloves: For better grip and handling

Tailight: to give you and your bike visibility from the rear

Toolkit: Should have Screwdrivers, tyre levers and cable cutters January 2013 77

U P G R A D E c yc l i n g

Hybrid
Its a cakewalk
Good for: Those lazy bums looking for effortless driving. Bad for: Bumpy roads and tight corners. The bike: To switch from manual to automatic is a cakewalk, but vice versa is a pain. So if you have been commuting in your personal vehicle, make sure that you buy a bicycle thats easy to ride and not one that you see one of those racers riding in the Olympics. You are not switching to a cycle to prove a point, but because you are health conscious or you want a bit of adventure injected into you daily routine. Go for a bike that has swift gears, broad seats (so that it doesnt get stuck up your arse) and is easy to maintain because from what we know, its damn costly to maintain an expensive bike. The ride: We tried riding this bicycle on one of the bumpy stretches of a Gurgaon road. This bike is absolutely easy to ride, the gears are effortless to switch and its light so there is nothing that you dont like about it. However, in case you plan to ride it like a drunk bastard you will find it tough maneuvering at turns because it doesnt come easy and you need to understand that bicycles dont have the shockers of an SUV, so little bumps are expected. How much? Good things come with a price and you should be ready to shell out for those swift gears, easy rides and the brand name that it comes with. Fork out for: You must add on a pair of indicators, a water bottle holder and a wheel lock to the cycle. Though there are a lot of accessories that you can add, we would say get the modifications and accessories attached
78 January 2013

type

elps Cycling h s to insomniace time reduce th ll taken to fa half. asleep by A ! y ll ea R stanford y study universit proves IT.

l a i t n e s s E u y ers Bik e B Guide


Cycle guru, Joel Natale, on how to choose the perfect peddler 01 Be realistic You need to decide what kind of riding you are going to be doing. Are you riding to work? Going off-road? Doing triathlon training? Youre not going to be able to do everything every bikes a compromise. 02 Spend smart Pretty much the more you spend, the better the bike youre going to get. Although there are some brands that charge a slight premium, if you spend more, youll be getting better components and lighter weight. 03 Consider secondhand You can pick up really good second-hand deals particularly fixies, where the components on them are a small proportion of the whole bike, so if you need to replace them, it isnt very expensive. Whereas if youre riding a 20-speed road bike and you have to replace all the cogs, chains, shifters, cables; thats a lot more expensive. 04 Dont be scared of salespeople Most modern bike shops are filled with people who love riding bikes, and theyre not actually that commercially focused. You need to know what you want out of the bike, so that you dont get unduly swayed, but generally theyre going to help you get the best bike for you. 05 Feel the love You have to love your bike for me thats the most important thing. You need to like the way it looks, you need to like the way it rides, and you need to like the way it makes you feel.

Go for ease

Not for bumps

after you have ridden it for sometime or else we dont see a point in spending a bomb on accessories.

Kumar Saurav rode: Hercules Torrent `12,850


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t i k l a i t n e ess
Fork

Bag Holding Knob Wrench

Wre nch At ta chm ent

Glue and Puncture Kit


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Swiss Knife

January 2013

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Dealership Courtesy: Rajiv Cycles, Ghitorni, New Delhi and Firefox India

Pro or... Select

woodland managing director


The swanky boss at Woodland India keeps his style casual yet stylish.

Harkirat Singh

01

The Coat Trench Coats

Even though I am a casual dresser, I do opt for coats some times for formal occasions. I like the Burberry Classic Trench coat for winters. ` 20,000
02

CV
Personal Style
For me, style is the way you live, and its an honest and true aesthetic translation of the core values that make up your identity. A good style is one that combines fashion with functionality. It is causal, eco-friendly and delivers on utility. Most of the time, you will see me wearing casual shirts with jeans and sneakers. I like to keep a casual yet stylish look.

THE

06

Bag Bvlgari

09

I rarely carry bags, however, I like to carry my laptop in the Bvlgari bag thats a classic design. ` 8,000

Pants Burberry

I prefer casual trousers and love trying out different styles like cargos, chinos, linen etc. Normally I pick my casual pants from Burberry. ` 24,000
10

Shoes Woodland

07

They say, you can tell a man by the kind of shoes he wears. I am an adventure enthusiast and therefore I love the Woodland ProPlanet series for casual wear. ` 4-7,000
03

T-Shirt Burberry

Belt Tod's

Usually I do not wear belts, but whenever I do, it has to be a Tods belt with heavy alloy buckle. ` 14,000
04

2013 is going to see more of a fusion between earthy and natural colors. Sci-fi and futuristic combinations with cosmic, aquatic shades of underwater, grass green tones to cherry red. Performance and environment friendly designs will be the game changers.

Style prediction

I am a casual dresser and Burberry T Shirts are just the right fit for me. I preferably like to wear polo neck tees whenever I am outdoors as these t-shirts are trendy, good on skin and keeps your style quotient always high. ` 12,000

Shirt Hugo Boss

Im not a big shirt person, but on occasions, a slim fit shirt is my first choice. I like unconventional mix and match looks a comfortable tailored shirt with jeans, or under a blazer for work or even to a party. I prefer Hugo Boss shirts, which are comfortable yet stylish. ` 18,000

08

Watch Rolex

sunglasses Maui Jim

I like Maui Jim sunglasses. Perfect for outdoor adventures and everyday wear with the right combination of eye-protection technologies and style. Its a must-have for all spectacle enthusiasts. ` 14,000
80 January 2013

05

Scarves Hugo Boss

Im a watch person and I like buying watches whenever I get a chance to do so. Though I have a lot of watches but my current favourite is a beautiful gold Rolex with a blue lapis stone in the dial. ` 1,50,000

Jacket Marc Jacobs

One cant do without scarves in Delhi during winters. I like Woodland and Hugo Boss for scarves because of their simplistic designs. ` 9,000
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With dry winter approaching, it's time to shed summer styling and go for warm jackets I have different styles of jackets in my wardrobe, but I am particularly fond of Mark Jacobs' jackets. I like to wear the bomber jackets and the leather jackets particularly from the brand. ` 36,000

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UPGRADE style
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U P G R A D E b age l

make the perfect bagel


here is a cheat code for Dishing out a yummy bagel with some fun fillings.

Make your own toasties

vaibhav vaidya, Chef, the bagel shop


How to make a Bagel Mix 1kg flour, 20 gm yeast and 50 gm brown sugar with water. Add salt to dough and let it rest for 15 minutes. Divide the dough into 15 or 16 pieces. Form the pieces into round shapes 8 cm wide and 2-3 cm high. Put your 1st finger through the middle and lift up the dough. Twirl it around your finger to make a hole in the centre like a doughnut. Roll out the pieces about 2 cm thick and then carefully join the toast a ends to form a circle. bagel Cover the bagels and leave them to rise for 20-30 minutes. Poach each bagel in For a delicious instant breakfast, try a bagel with fresh fruit jam, hazelnut spread, peanut boiling water for 30 butter or banana honey. seconds on each side and place on an oiled tray. Bagel chips are toasted horizontal thin slices of bagel served with soup or different dips. Bagels can be sprinkled with Slice the bagels and place them in a plastic freezer bag in order to store toppings of your them for a couple of weeks. Remember when you want to eat them, never choice poppy seeds, use microwave for heating bagels. Instead, just pop them in the toaster. sesame seeds, onion or garlic. For fresh fruit spread, mix philly or mascarpone cream cheese with fresh figs Finally, bake at or strawberries. You can add a spoon of caster sugar or honey to it. 215C for approximately 20 minutes until golden brown.

1 2 3 4 1

Pizza Bagel Apply pizza sauce on both toasted halves of a bagel. Top it with meat or veggies of your choice.

Sprinkle some oregano and basil and finish it with pizza cheese. Gratinate in toaster or OTG till the cheese melts.

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

2 3

Salmon Cheese Spread In a medium bowl, stir 100 gm of cream cheese until it is no longer in a hard form. Add 2 to 3 slices of smoked salmon, chopped small green onion and bunch of chopped chives and mix it well. Finish it with lime juice and pepper sauce.

1 2 3

LunchTime Bagel Sandwich Apply cream cheese on the bottom side of your choice of bagel. Top it with cold cuts like ham, salami, pastrami or smoked salmon.

4 5

Finish the sandwich by putting tomato, lettuce and your choice of sauce (mayo, mustard, chipotles, horseradish mayo) For a vegetarian sandwich, an avocado or shredded leafy vegetable with different types of semi-hard cheeses is the best.

10
Words: Shriti Gattani

mouthwatering fillings

11

Enhance the bagel by adding gherkins, jalapeos, olives, pickled vegetables, coleslaw and hummus.

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U P G R A D E ga n d h i

amal Hassan was so impressed by K Mohan Gokhales

The reel Gandhi: Nasseruddin Shah Film: Hey! Ram (2000)

MAN FACT
Hollywood actor Anthony Hopkins was the first one to be approached for the title role.

portrayal of Gandhi in Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar that he wanted to cast him in this venture, but due to Gokhales demise, Hassan had to rope in Shah who delivered a much more magical performance of Gandhi than anyone could have expected.

As Richard Attenboroughs
FHM takes a look at the best reel portrayal of our nations favourite peace walker

Gandhi turns 30...


2
his Jabbar Patel biopic on the man T who framed our
The reel Gandhi: Mohan Gokhale Film: Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar (2000)

his bilingual film by ace filmmaker T Shyam Benegal showed Gandhi in a different light. It was about his transition from a barrister to a Mahatma. When you watch this film, you will realise the sincerity with which actors like Rajit perfected the roles they played.

The reel Gandhi: Rajit Kapoor Film: The Making of Mahatma (1996)

o one could have imagined that a N franchise like

The reel Gandhi: Dilip Prabhalvalkar Film: Lage Raho Munnabhai (2006)

e was the man who played the angry H floor cleaner in

The reel Gandhi: Surendra Rajan Film: Veer Savarkar, Legend of Bhagat Singh, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose

constitution won as much accolades for Gokhale as it did for its makers and lead actor Mammootty. Gokhale excelled in the role that focused on Gandhis non-violent policies and how he used them to get things done from the Brits.

Munnabhai thats all about lukkhagiri can accommodate a sincere figure like Bapu with such elan, but this stage icons impeccable acting let the film sail through successfully.

Words: Kumar Saurav

Munnabhai, but whenever a small budget film on Gandhi was supposed to be made, Surendra was the ultimate choice because he had the innocent voice that resembled the Mahatma and also the perfect look

he theatre actor who played Ranbir Kapoors dad in Ajaz Prem Ki Gazab Kahani added a lot of depth to this film about Gandhis relationship with his eldest son Hiralal Gandhi portrayed by Akshaye Khanna.
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The reel Gandhi: Darshan Jariwala Film: Gandhi, My Father

hile this Ketal Mehta biopic was W primarily a Paresh Rawal film because he played the lead role of Vallabhai Patel, Annu Kapoor did leave a mark with his portrayal of Gandhi.
January 2013

The reel Gandhi: Annu Kapoor Film: Sardar (1993)

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83

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS THAT

FREAK US OUT
1 Tell us something about yourself.
Did you not get my resume? Everything you need to know is there. Now dont ask me how many girlfriends I have and whats my bank balance or when was the last time I faltered on a credit card payment. A spoken version of our resume.

2 Why are you looking for a shift?

Obviously money. What else asshole? Oh yes, my current office is also far away from my place, and if you give me a job, Ill save a lot on fuel.

I didnt want to miss out on an opportunity to work with a reputed company like yours, so the moment I noticed that theres an opening, I knew my golden chance is here.

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U P G R A D E i n t er v i e w

3 Why should I hire you?


Because my current company doesnt pay, they dont have proper parking space, and I have heard that in case of a recession, Ill be the first one my boss wants to get rid of. Also, Ill be cheaper to hire, so in your budget, you can hire four people like me.

4 And what about your strengths?


How many would you really want to know? You will run out of time if I take you through the list. I approach every project with a lot of positivity, Im a go-getter, a team player and pressure doesnt ruffle my feathers.

I match the requirements.

4 Where do you see yourself five years from now?


Rearing to go forward with my career goals, learning new things and taking on new responsibilities under your able guidance.

While I would like to see my cheques getting fatter, considering the number of times the economic downturn is happening, I wouldnt be surprised if five years from now, Im once again struggling with yet another recession, and working my ass off to make sure that my bosses dont chuck me out.

5 List out your weaknesses?


Mostly, Im extremely strong headed about deadlines, so I would always put in those extra hours in the office to finish my work, and maybe increase the running cost of your office, and the coffee vending machine. While I do take criticism positively, mistakes hurt me a lot. Thats what I can think of as of now.

You can ask my girlfriend, she can make a presentation on them. Im too busy finding out other peoples mistakes, so do you really want me to believe that if I tell you about my weaknesses, youll hire me. By the way, I have met your wife at one of the conferences and she is my weakness, so lets not go there. Next question please.

ANNOYING QUESTIONS THAT HRS

ACTUALLY

ASKED

@ IBM: How do you weigh an elephant without using a weighing machine? @ HP: If Germans were the tallest people in the world, how would you prove it? @ Deloitte: Would Mahatma Gandhi have made a good software engineer? @ Volkswagen: What would you do if you inherit a pizzeria from your uncle? @ E&Y: Does life fascinate you?

7 What do you know about the company?

That you are ready to pay more than others, you let your staff enjoy free meals, and you provide cab facility.

Yours is a Fortune 500 company with an ever increasing global footprin, and a clientele that any firm would envy. In size and scale, you have grown from 500 crores to a 10,000 crore company in just a decade, which is one of the best success stories I have ever heard. Be it ethics or portability, you people have the best reputation in the industry.
Words: Kumar Saurav

@ Acosta: Just entertain me for five minutes. Im not going to talk.


January 2013 85

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328 million apps were downloaded on December 25 , 2012, a 112% increase from from the first 20 days of last

month

apps that make your girlfriend

Sex Apps

useless
A selection of applications that get inspired from our naughty streaks...
01 Guide to Lingerie and Sex Toys Price Free Can Download On iTunes 02 Bouncing Boobs Price ` 82 Can Download On Play Store

04 Rack Stare The Sex Game Price Free Can Download On iTunes

FHM Rating Five


This was the app that prompted us to do this story. The game engages you with wit, naughtiness and its interactive capabilities. In it, all that the user has to do is to stare at the boobs of ladies in public places without getting caught.

03 Kissing Test Price Free Can Download On iTunes

05 Pocket Girlfriends Lite Price Free Can Download On iTunes

FHM Rating Three


Tastefully written explanations of the most popular sex toys and lingerie items out there. The costume section contains 40 different costume ideas for your next party including Viking, Devil, Pilot, Boxer and many more.

FHM Rating Four


If you dont have people around who continuously peep into your phone, then the interactive girls in this app are quite fun. Apart from continuously bouncing their boobs all day, they also respond to your every touch, pinch, or squeeze. Sounds fun?

FHM Rating Two


If you think you can give a tough time to Emraan Hashmi then this is the app you should be downloading to test your skills and prove that you are the next serial kisser. But dont let anyone else know about this app because then everyone else would want to test their skills too, and they might do it on your iPad.

FHM Rating Four


This was, at one point of time, the highest selling game on iTunes. Pick from the list of extremely naughty and sharp virtual lovers who will do everything (virtually, of course) that you want your girlfriend to do to you.

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U P G R A D E A P P L I C AT I O N S

5 NEW APPS
XMS: It is a free, real-time 06 Shades of Sex Price `108 Can Download On Play Store
mobile messaging app for smartphones that allows unlimited messaging through ones internet connection. We used it and its pretty cool.

FHM Rating Three


Yet another 50 Shades of Grey inspired app, this app lets you have sex the way its shown in the book. So if kink is all that you want tonight, download this app that lists out naughty texts to be sent to your arm candy, the positions you can use, the props you will need and yes, even how to spank right.

09 Sex Position Game Price `55 Can Download On iTunes

11 Dirty Truth or Dare Price `150 Can Download On iTunes

FHM Rating Two


Let this app be your friend, guide and philosopher in wild times. It will take you through a list of sexual positions that you can try when you are bored of trying the same thing everyday.

FHM Rating Three


Unlike the cleaner version that you played during your school days, this one is really kinky. It has dares like taking off one piece of cloth everytime you refuse to reveal a truth. Like it now?

07 X-Ray Testicles Scanner Price `55 Can Download On Play Store

ber Conference:

With auto dialing and easy address book features, it makes conference calls really easy.

FHM Rating Five


The best way to know whats inside your balls steel, weed or just junk. A must try for well-loaded guys who have no girl for company. They allow you to post the results on Facebook, but would you do that?

Deep Sleep Battery Saver: When you switch

the deepsleep mode on, it turns off Wifi, 3G and background apps that add to your battery backup.

Diaro: If you like to pen down your everyday thought, this is the app you should be downloading.

10 Sexercise 08 Panty Raid Price Free Can Download On Play Store Price $0.99 Can Download On iTunes

12 Passion Price ` 50 Can Download On iTunes

FHM Rating Four


Inspired from the belief that sex can be a good workout, this app exclusively highlights the sexual positions that can help you burn 300 calories in 30 minutes. Now that makes sense, doesnt it.

FHM Rating Four


Dont know how power packed those dirty moments are? This app tells you exactly how good or bad have you been on the bed when you last made out. So now even satisfaction can be numerically defined. Beer Citizen: This is the app that lets you write beer reviews, share beer cocktail recipes and do a lot more stuff around beer.

Sneak into a girls room and steal her panties without getting caught. You get bored of it in a few days, so dont download it thinking that you will play it for months like Major Mayhem.
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January 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav

FHM Rating Three

87

Bigger guns
01
01

GET

Theres more to building up your biceps than just pumping heavy iron
02

Slow and low


Trying to fit in as many reps as possible may impress that pretty girl youve got your eye on down the gym, but in the long run, lowering weights slowly will have an increased effect. Although you should lift quickly, says personal trainer Joe Addison, the lowering phase of an exercise has been shown to be just as important, if not more so, than the lifting. Especially when it comes to muscle growth.
88 January 2013

Tri for more


Vin Diesel didnt get to where he is by spending all of his time on his biceps. Working your triceps twice as hard as your biceps is a trick for beefing up your arms. The triceps make up two thirds of the upper arm, so the key to big guns is to work the triceps hard, says Addison. Ignoring your triceps will leave your arms looking more like a water pistol than an AK-47.

03

Wear white
Thats right, its only an optical illusion when it looks as though tennis pro Rafael Nadals got two tree trunks strapped to his shoulders. Well, kind of. White shirts accentuate your torso and make you look much more buff than their colourful equivalents. So, if you want to show off your toned torso, ditch that brightlycoloured sports gear and pull on your tennis whites instead.

Get your post-gym munch on


Scared of diving into a slice of cake? Fear not. The hour after youve trained is the magic window where its absolutely fine to have simple carbohydrates without them being stored as fat. These quickdigesting sugars replenish your muscles and, combined with whey powder, give them the building blocks for muscle growth.

04

05

Sleep on it
You may think that an early start at the gym was worth it, but staying in bed for an extra hour or two could have made a vast improvement to your muscle power. Sleep is vital for muscle growth. During deep sleep there is an increase in the production of growth hormones these help to repair and build new muscle. So, whenever you can get an extra hour to sleep, please do.

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Words: Thomas Bennett

UPGRADE fitness

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Wax on, wax off


Whether its your guns or any other part of your body, hair hides muscle and obscures its definition. Former professional bodybuilder Cynthia James says, A hairless body is the only way to show off the details of your muscles and physique. Plus it will reveal symmetry. Were not sure about a full-on de-fuzz but each to their own.

Ditch the tech


Cavemen didnt have any fancy machines or hi-tech gyms, and they were still ripped enough to hunt sabre-toothed tigers. A lot of personal trainers believe that free weights elicit more muscle growth as more of the motor pools are recruited within the muscle to help stabilise the weight. In other words, your muscles are working to control the load youre lifting and the direction of the movement.

Take a break
If your arms are still aching from yesterdays brutal gym session, then let them rest. When you work the muscles it actually shreds them, and its the rebuilding that occurs during the rest period that makes them bigger. If youre still feeling the effects from a previous workout but are keen to get down to the gym, focus on another muscle group instead.

09

Drink more water


Your kitchen sink could make a huge difference to how much youre filling out your sleeves. Muscles are full of glycogen. Every molecule of glycogen must bond with three molecules of water, so staying hydrated ensures your muscles always look full. Failing to drink enough water will make your guns look more like a cracked pebble than meaty cliffside rock.

10

Squeeze to succeed
Posing in front of the mirror might send a bit of banter your way, but just explain that its part of your training routine a trick called isotension. As sports nutritionist and fitness guru Scott Baptie says, Between sets, while youre resting, flex your muscles and hold them for about 6-10 seconds to keep them contracted. This will enhance your ability to control the body muscle.
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Girlfriend
THE FHM
C l a u d i a C i e s l a

January

The German chick feels that Balma is just a SMALL DOSE of what she has in store for Bollywood viewers and FHM is convinced
Words by Kumar Saurav

So you are back in the limelight again, are you enjoying it? Yes, of course. Its an amazing feeling to be a part of Khiladi 786. Im so happy and proud that Ive done the item song Balma, where I get to dance with Akshay sir. Finally in the item girl brigade... Its an amazing feeling especially because my song went down well with the viewers and everyone is dancing to it. The Sigdi song is kickass What according to you makes it really hot? I believe its the energetic moves that make the song look kickass, as well as the item girl. What are the prerequisites to be the perfect item girl? Your body needs to be very flexible to be able to dance, you have to be expressive and confident that you will deliver such a performance that the moment audiences see you onscreen, they will start whistling and I have all these qualities. Item girls are mostly one-song wonders Does that scare you? Not at all, I already have offers to do more item songs, so soon you will see me again. What next? Im getting item girl offers not only from the Hindi film industry, but from the south as well, though I want to concentrate more on my acting career and doing films. Do you like Indian men? Of course I do What annoys you in a man?
90 January 2013

They try to flirt with more then one girl at the same time. If a guy wants you to ask you out for a drink, how should he approach you? He can come up to me straight away and ask sweetly if I can have a drink or two with him without trying to be overconfident. How would you like him to greet you with a kiss or a hug? If hes a friend already, a warm hug is fine. How should he complement you? I would love to hear something original that will make me feel very special. How should he dress up? I always prefer an elegant look. It makes a guy look sexier. Plus, perfume is a must and I love the manly smell. Do you like a corner table or the one bang in the centre? A corner table but with a good view, so I can concentrate on my company and the food rather than other people around. What is that one thing that you cant resist after you are high? Im never high, I like to have control over myself. How would you react if he tries to get frisky with you? Depends on what the chemistry is between us and how long we know each other. Well, basically the comfort lever should be there. What is the wildest thing you have ever done after getting drunk? I cant tell you all my secrets.

I always prefer an elegant look. It makes a guy look sexier.


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UPGRADE girlfriend

who she?
DOB: February12 Age: 25 Apart from Bigg Boss 3, she also appeared in King Khans Zor Ka Jhatka in 2010.

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reviews
1 inch 2
Ram 512 MB Processor 1.2 GHz Memory 4GB internal, expandable upto 32GB

Ram 2 GB Processor 1.6 GHz Memory 16/32GB internal

Ram 1 GB Processor 1 GHz Memory 32GB internal

5 6 7
Phablets are consumer touchscreen devices with screen sizes ranging from 5 to 7 inches, and in our times, these are the newest larger-than-life sized smartphones. Our generation is the one accustomed to the famous saying we live in a generation ruled by dumb people and smarter phones,
January 2013

These things seem to have arrived from Mars, or maybe some other galaxy inhabited by larger-than-human sized creatures But whatever its origins may be, the question is do we really need a 5-inch smartphone?
but hey, does having a 5 plus device that can barely fit in your hands or pocket, unless you still flash those low waist baggy jeans, not make you look smarter? Just to clear things up, the 5.3 Samsung Galaxy Note is considered a Phablet, whereas the ASUS Padfone, with a phone that docks into a tablet casing to be used as a
fhmindia fhmindia

Phab-Let
fhmindia.com
Words: Nishant Nayyar

tablet, is not one. The idea of a Phablet is to be able to enjoy the best of both worlds, without needing additional devices (or device casings in the case of the Padfone). Lets take a look at a few such devices available in the market, as well as some future releases that will likely keep up the Phablet trend.

8
92

U P G R A D E gadge t s

CMS 1 2 3 4 5

Ram 512 MB Processor 1 GHz Memory 2GB internal, expandable upto 32GB

6 7 8 9 10

Ram 512 MB Processor 1 GHz Memory 4GB internal, expandable upto 32GB

11 12

1 zinc cloud z5
In over two days of using the Zync Cloud Z5 the battery overheating alert came on twice and at least once the phone found itself in an uncontrollable fit and let out an uninterrupted hmmmm, which was cured only when the battery was popped out. The Zync Cloud Z5 might not be the pick of the heap from amongst the five phones you see on page, but it comes this closest to the Samsung Note in terms of its looks. The interface is useful, but the Z5 lags especially if you are trying to see videos or are as addicted to Real Steel as we are. The only good part or bad part is that it is priced the lowest amongst all at ` 8,990

2 LG Optimus VU
Everything on this phone seems to be right lightweight, responsive touch, slimness but the design. It actually feels like holding a square box of chocolate. What comes in as a bummer is the 4:3 display aspect ratio, which is one of the very few display aspects manufacturers use these days. With a stylus input, LG has yet again followed the footsteps of Samsung. Another feature which LG has tried to show off with this phone is of NFC tags. The 8mp rear camera with LED flash will not disappoint the photographer in you and a fairly decent battery will let you wander around the whole day multitasking. Price at JUST ` 34,999.

3 Samsung 4 Micromax Galaxy Note 2 Superfone Canvas 2 Samsung seems to be


riding high on a new tune of its own with this new device which is nothing less than a marvel, a trendsetter and a benchmark. What really makes a difference is Google Now, a service where Google looks at your calendar, tasks, and searches, and offers helpful tips on how to go about getting those things done. Note 2 has a very accurate and pressure-sensitive screen, so writing on it is surprisingly good. What we really didnt like was the eye pinching brightness. Overall, this one stands to be the right mix of a phone and a tablet and has managed to sell about 5 million units globally. Priced at ` 34,599.

5 Aqua 5.0
The latest company to join the bandwagon is Intex who recently launched the new Aqua 5.0. The Aqua sometimes hangs while playing high graphics games but nothing serious enough to hamper your game or annoy you. The all black-interface is a treat for the eyes. Unfortunately, the back panel is a bit too plasticky for our liking and feels like a cheap toys battery flap. The 5-inch size may look like it is a handful but the design of the Aqua makes it easy to use. The touch response is almost flawless and there isnt any lag. The downfall of this device is its 5 megapixel camera, the photos lack sharpness. The Aqua is an impressive buy at a competitive price of ` 9,999.
January 2013

13

Here is a classic avatar from Micromax that comes with a plethora of features. The phone sports an 8-megapixel CMOS camera with dual LED flash. Despite sporting a 5 inch capacitive screen this phone fits amazingly well in your hand. The low resolution of the LCD display might disappoint you as it makes images, icons etc. lose their sharpness. We feel the UI could have been smoother considering it is powered by a dual core processor. What we really liked is that Micromax has added a SIM management option to set the default card for call, messages, Internet, etc. Both SIMs can be active at the same time if needed. Priced at ` 9,999.

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14 15 16 17 18 19 20

U P G R A D E gadge t s

3 brilliantly simple gadgets


reviews

we strip gadgets down to the screws and the motherboard... just so you can make an informed decision. Playing with new toys is just a work hazard
a f f o r d a b ly wise

HP Spectre XT

Meet HP Envy Spektre a really smart Ultrabook. The smartest feature of this device has got to be its boot up and resume time, which is just a few seconds. This 13.3 inch stunner is a great-looking Ultrabook with loads of premium features. For connectivity, you get two USB ports (one of them is USB 3.0), a full-size HDMI, Ethernet, 3.5mm headphone port and a SD card reader. The tapered designed gadget weighs just 1.4kg. The Beats Audio technology and a total of four speakers two in the panel near the screen and two on the underside endow the Spectre XT with unusually loud and clear. So the peripherals are pretty impressive and the battery doesnt disappoint us either. The Coolsense technology automatically adjusts your notebooks temperature based on usage and conditions. With a 7-8 hour battery life, this one will definitely keep you happy if you are the go-getter kinds. Price: ` 64,990

best boot up time

LG Docking Speaker

Intex Aqua 3.2


We have to give props to Intex for bringing out really good phones at drop dead prices. This dual SIM handset comes loaded with a 1GHz processor, 2.3.5 operating system, 2MP camera and 32GB expandable memory. The ease with which this 127 grams talk buddy slips into your pocket and the responsive touch are its high points. Even the call quality and audio is up-tothe mark. However, three things that dont go down well with the overall positive impression of the phone is the absence of a front camera, an ambiguous email display and poor battery life. Everything else in this phone is right on track. The phone also comes preloaded with Fruit Ninja, Nimbuzz, Gmail, YouTube and IRCTC, all of which makes it really usable. Also, data access comes easy with the Wi-Fi and Bluetooth. So should you buy this phone? Yes. If youre greedy for features but dont have 20K to spend, this ones for you. Price: ` 3790
94 January 2013

On the outside this cube-shaped docking speaker seems to be the prettiest thing that happened to you in 2012, unless you got a chance to personally meet Dita Von Teese (which we did. Hah!). With a built in sub-woofer and 80W audio output, this one seems just good enough for a small room. Though what has really impressed us is the fact that this gadget can dock an iPad (comes with specific iPad dock connectors). With the Airplay connectivity, this one is a truly universal gadget (can connect via dock, aux in and Bluetooth). This gadget also sports a really responsive touch user interface. The sound output of 2.1 channel 80W speaker isnt the best you can get in the market where the Bose SoundDock series has already made a big mark, but the built-in USB port that supports MP3 and WMA playback, and the M radio are value additions to this smartly designed cube that doesnt take up that much of your space. Price: ` 20,990

best Design and Utility

Words: FHM Team

The only New Year resolution that FHM remains committed to is drinking everyday
Words by Kumar Saurav; Designed by Lokesh Mishra

a drunks 2013 planner

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

Aam Panna Ma rti ni

60 ml aam panna syrup+ ice cubes+ rock salt+ roasted jeera powder+ 60 ml vodka

G r een Oc ean

Lync h b u rg L emonade

A las ka

60 ml gin+ 3 tsp honey+ 30 ml freshly squeezed lemon juice

60 ml Jack Daniel Tennessee Whiskey+ Sweet and sour mix

60 ml gin+ 45 ml freshly squeezed lemon juice+ 15 ml sugar syrup+ 10 ml crme de cassis

13

Li b e r ace S hot

14

A r naud mart in i

15

10 ml coffee liqueur+ milk+ rum

30 ml gin+ 30 ml dry vermouth+ 30 ml crme de cassis or Chambord

Autumn Colors Co c ktail (MIX IT AS YOU LIKE)

Sweet iced tea+ pomegranate+ vodka

20

Y ellow jac ket

21

Baca r d i spec ial

22

Ballet Russe

60 ml pineapple juice+ 60 ml orange juice+ 45 ml lemon juice

45 ml Bacardi rum+ 20 ml gin+ 15 ml freshly squeezed lime+ 10 ml pomegranate syrup+ sugar syrup+ chilled water

60 ml vodka+ cream+ lemonade+ sugar syrup

27

D H A R MA

28

VO D K A WI T H VO DK A

30 ml vodka+ 30 ml pernod+ 1 tsp grenadine+ soda

True we went overboard and made a planner out of 342 cocktails, but lets face it, old school men dont like their booze touching other booze.

29

Bee r b uste r (just in case you think plain simple beer has become boring)

45 ml vodka+ 250 ml beer

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

january 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

Wi nte r Del ight

Ad i os ami g os

A dios Mothe r Fucker

A la b a z am

20ml honey+ 50 gm house spices+ 30ml sour mix+ dash of orange oil+ 45ml vodka+ 15 ml brandy+hot water

30 ml rum+ 15 ml dry vermouth+ 15 ml brandy+ 15 ml gin+ 10 ml lime juice+ 5 ml sugar syrup+ chilled water
Apple shot pie (It might be easy to make, but it can give you a high in no time)

20 ml vodka+ 20 ml gin+ 20 ml rum+ 20 ml tequila+ 20 ml triple sec+ 10 ml sweet & sour mix+ Pepsi

60 ml cognac+ 30 ml brandy+ 30 ml fresh lemon juice+ 15 ml sugar syrup+ bitters+ soda

Red apple chunks+ lemon chunks+ brown sugar+ crushed ice+ 45 ml cinnamon rum+ 5ml cinnamon syrup+ 5 ml lime juice+apple juice +150 ml soda+cinnamon stick+ three apple slices

Apple &

cinnamon mojito

10

11

A pplet in i

12

A r nold Palmer

30 ml apple juice+ 30 ml vodka

60 ml vodka+ 30 ml apple schnapps+ a dash of pineapple juice+ sour mix


Baca rd i O and 7

30 ml vodka+ 30 ml lemonade+ 30 ml iced tea

16
(DRY DAY IN TAMIL NADU) Bay b r ee z e

17

Bac a r d i Da i q u i r (Easy to make but hard to handle )

18

19

Bac a r di Pi na Colada

30 ml Bacardi rum+ sugar+ crushed ice

Ice+ 60 ml Bacardi Orange flavoured rum+ 7UP

30 ml Bacardi rum+ 30 ml coconut water+ 30 ml pineapple juice+ fine sugar

23

24

Bee r b laste r

25
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

26
(DRY DAY THROUGH OUT THE COUNTRY)

60 ml vodka+ 15 ml cranberry juice+ 15 ml pineapple juice

45 ml tequila+ 2-3 drops Tabasco+ beer

30
(DRY DAY THROUGH OUT THE COUNTRY)

31

bees k nees

45 ml English Dry Gin+ 15 ml Honey + 1 Jasmine flower+ 60 ml sweet lime juice+ Crushed ice

Va ib hav U n iyal, Bar T r a ine r , 1 0 0 %Ro ck, A d c h ini, N e w Delhi

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

T he F r en c h 7 5

T he Kal imoxto

5
(dry day in tamil nadu)

60 ml gin+ 30 ml lemon juice+ 30 ml simple syrup+ superfine sugar

Red wine+Cola

10

CRI MEAN COCKTA I L

11

G r apef ru it T ease r

12

Blush i ng Sangri a

60 ml white wine+ 30 ml orange liqueur+ soda water+ lemon juice

60 ml grapefruit juice+ 15 ml lime juice+ 40 ml Everclear alcohol

Cranberry juice+ rose wine+ cherry

17

T equ i la G r apef r u it

60 ml tequila+ 1 splash lime juice+ 150 ml grapefruit juice

18

Bu c k i e (who says you cant get high on wine)

19

Bu r n off

A bottle of tonic wine+ 1.2 litre lemonade

Tabas co sauce+ 5 ml soya sauce+ black pepper+ salt+ 15 ml lime juice+ beer

24

Cape Cod

25

W E L LOW JACK E T

26

Cape Codde r

60 ml rum+ 120 ml cranberry juice

60 ml pineapple juice+ 60 ml orange juice+ 45 ml lemon juice

60 ml vodka+ 150 ml cranberry juice

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

february 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY
Bell in i (AND YOU THOUGHT NO ONE BUYS SCHNAPPS AT CAFE COFFEE DAY )

Blac k cherry mart ini

30 ml peach schnapps+ 30 ml sparkling wine

70 ml vodka+ some cream+ cherry

Black Russian (coffee just doesnt start the day. It can end it too)

7
(dry day in Delhi)

Bl i n k e r

Blush i n g G in

30 ml vodka+ 60 ml of black coffee

60 ml bourbon whiskey+ 30 ml freshly squeezed grapefruit+ 10 ml pomegranate juice

45 ml gin+ 15 ml Campari+ limejuice+ tonic water+ cherry

13

Bou r b on L emonade

60 ml Bourbon+ 20 ml lemonade + 5 ml lemon juice+ lots of ice cubes

Br andy co c k ta il (for those whove been coughing a lot)

14

15

B ron x

16
(dry day in tamil nadu)

5 fresh mint leaves+ 60 ml brandy+ 10 ml orange flavoured brandy+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ bitters

60 ml gin+ 10 ml dry vermouth+ 10 ml sweet vermouth+ 30 ml orange juice

20

Butte ry Ni pple

21

CA BE R NE T CO BB LE R

22

C AC T U S

23

Caffe i ne Mani a

20 ml Butterscotch Schnapps+ 5 ml Irish Cream

120 ml of chilled Cabernet Sauvignon+ 10 ml lime juice+ 1 tsp fine sugar+ soda+ a slice of orange

120 ml red wine+ 30 ml gin+ grapes+ 7-8 pieces of orange zest

1 can beer+ 1 coffee shot+ 30 ml whisky+ 1 can of Red Bull

27

Ca r ibb ean coffee

28

Celt i c Ma rg a r i ta

330 ml beer+ 30 ml coffee liqueur

60 ml whisky+ 30 ml triple sec+ 30 ml freshly squeezed lemon

M ani sh Da r ayan, F& B Manag e r , C itrus, P une

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

Mi ndspaff S hot

10 ml Irish cream+ 10 ml coconut rum+ 10 ml Schnapps and cinnamon

M I DW E ST STO P L IGHT

30 ml each of cinnamon schnapps+ tequila+ apple schnapps

C i t ron Del ight (the mercury is rising and its time to get back to chilled beer cans)

Orange slice+ 165 ml orange juice+ Beer

10
(dry day in delhi)

11

ORS

60 ml vodka+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ 5 ml lime cordial

Cool Cu c um be r Cocktai l (the quantity of liqueur you add depends on how drunk you wanna get)

12

Cucumber+ gin+ apple cider+ cranberry juice

17

Lewd Le w ins k Y S hot

18

T he Sem i nole Shot

19

c u c um b er sak etin i

Herbal liqueur+ fresh cream

30 ml each of cinnamon schnapps+ 10 ml grenadine syrup

Cucumber vodka+ 15 ml triple sec+ 5 ml cucumber syrup+ 5 ml lime juice+ 90 ml Saki wine+ cucumber slice

24

T he w h ite dane

Whisky+ 90 ml Baileys Irish Cream + 2 tsp sugar+ cinnamon stick+ 180 ml milk

25

M A RG A RI TA

26

despe r ado

45 ml Tequila+ 15 ml cointreau+ 15 ml lime juice+ 10 ml suhar syrup+ icecubes

Add one or two shots of tequila to a good Mexican lager.

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

march 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

1
1 jalapeno+ 1 can beer

Ch ill i Bee r (Its quite full of flavour)

C i nnamon shot

30 ml vodka+ 30 ml apple juice+ dash of cinnamon

C L ASS IC S PAN IS H SANGRIA

Clover leaf

Co co F l ip

A bottle of red wine+ 90 ml brandy+ one orange slice+ a slice of lemon+ 2 tbsp of sugar

60 ml gin+ squeezed lemon juice+ pomegranate syrup+ fresh egg white

3/4 oz brandy+ 3/4 oz sloe gin+ 1 tsp powdered sugar+ 1 whole egg+ 2 tsps light cream+ nutmeg

Colonel Coll ins

Bourbon whiskey+ 30 ml freshly squeezed lemon+ 15 ml sugar syrup+ sodawater

13

Cosmopolitan (SOFT CHEESE)

14

Cr an i t i

15

CRI M SO N M ART I N I

16

Cu b an spec i al

60 ml vodka+ 20 ml Triple Sec+ 30 ml lime juice+ 30 ml cranberry juice+ ice

30 ml vodka+ 45 ml cranberry juice

60 ml port wine+ 10 ml lime juice+ 10 grenadine syrup+ lemon spiral

45 ml shot rum+ 20 ml triple sec+ 60 ml pineapple juice+ 10 ml freshly squeezed lime

20
30 ml vodka+ 1 can beer

Dan ger

21

Da r k and S to r my

22

Deme r a r a Fig M Oj ito

23

Desert Bastard Shot

30 ml Black Rum+ 60 ml ginger beer

4 lemon wedges+ 1.5 bar spoon Demerara sugar+ 8 mint leaves+ 15 ml lime juice+ 6 infused figs chunk+ 60 ml white rum

60 ml tequila+ 60 ml whisky+ apple juice

27
(dryday in Delhi)

28

Det ro it mart i n i

29
(dry day in delhi)

30

D i a b le rou ge

Fresh mint leaves+ 60 ml vodka+ a tbsp of sugar syrup+ a few drops of freshly squeezed lime

60 ml vodka+ 60 ml pineapple juice+ 10 ml creame

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

D i amond Fiz z

Da iq uiri

60 ml gin+ 30 ml fresh lemon juice+ 15 ml sugar syrup+ champagne

Sugar syrup+ lime juice+ 90 ml white rum

B U RN OF F

H E L L SS FA IRY

Fa ir & warmer

Tabasco sauce+ 5 ml soya sauce+ black pepper+ salt+ 15 ml lime juice+ beer

30 ml apple juice+ 60 ml Ginger Ale+ 30 ml lemonade+ 60 ml Red Bull+ 60 ml Absinthe

60 ml rum+ 30 ml vermouth+ 15 ml triple sec

14

NA K ED BIR D S H OT

15

TO M A HAWK

60 whiskey+ 30 ml herbal liqueur

16

Fro g in a Blende r

30 ml Vodka+ 30 ml raspberry liqueur+ 30 ml sweet and sour mix

A cup of ice+ 60 ml vodka+ 120 ml cranberry juice

21

Tully ` s N uts & Be r r ies S hot

22

SA I N TS B A L L S

23

G i n and Tonic

15 ml Almond Liqueur+ 15 ml Raspberry Liqueur+ 15 ml milk

15 ml chocolate liqueur+ 10 ml cream liqueur+ 10 ml butterscotch Schnapps

Gin+ tonic water+ ice+ garnish with a lime wedge

28
(

Fr ed ` s S lo - D rop S hot

29

P HA R M AC Y SCHO O L SH OT

30

G r een D rag on

15 ml gin+ citrus soda

10 ml each of Bournbon+ rum+ herbal liqueur

45 ml tequila+ 120 ml pineapple juice+ mint syrup+ a splash of mint syrup

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

april 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

Dirty M arti ni

Em bassy co c k ta il

5
(dry day in delhi)

E ne rgy shot

Gin+ a dash of dry vermouth+ olives

30 ml brandy+ 30 ml rum+ 30 ml triple sec+ lime juice+ bitters

120 ml Red Bull+ 30 ml vodka

Muddled slices of ginger+ mint leaves+ 15 ml peach syrup+ 10 ml lime juice + 45 ml vodka+ half soda+ half water+ lime slices+ mint leaves

10

F izzy Gin g e r

11

Flying Scotsman

12

Fr en ch mule

60 ml Scotch whiskey+ 60 ml sweet vermouth+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ three dashes of bitters

60 ml brandy+ 30 ml freshly squeezed lime+ 30 ml sugar syrup+ a few drops of bitters+ Ginger bee

60 ml infused lemon grass vodka+ 10ml lemon juice+ 10ml green apple syrup+ muddled green apple chunks+ green apple syrup+ lemon juice

13

Fr esh Gr een Apple M artin i

17

F r ui t Sou r

18

F u z z y N avel Shot

19

F u z z y N avel

20
(Dry day in Delhi)

Strained concoction of 30 ml Bourbon whiskey+ 30 ml Triple sec+ 30 ml freshly squeezed lemon+ half fresh egg white

15 ml peach Schnapps+ 15 ml Triple Sec + 30 ml Vodka

15 ml peach Schnapps+ 15 ml Triple Sec + 30 ml Vodka

24

Gi n Rick ey

25

G i ng e r and Car rot Coc k ta il

26

G r apef r u it j ulep

27

G r ateful D ead

Gin+ lime juice+ sparking water

90 ml Vodka+ 30 ginger juice+ 30 ml carrot juice

Strained concoction of 1 tsp honey+ 60 ml vodka+ mint leaves+ fresh lime juice+ 30 ml pomegranate syrup+ 30 ml grapefruit juice

30 ml each of rum+ 10 Tequila+ 10 ml Triple Sec

Mayu r S h r i man i, Ba r Supe rv iso r , F Loun ge. D iner . Ba r , M UMBAI

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

Ballet Russe

AC E

H a r sh S hot (It can be quite harsh)

Two shots vodka+ 10 ml crme de cassis or Chambord+ 30 ml freshly squeezed lime+ some sugar syrup

60 ml gin+ 15 ml pomegranate syrup+ 15 ml cream+ 15 ml milk+ 15 ml egg white

15 ml Tequila+ 15 ml herbal liqueur

12

MA I DENS B LUS H

13

60 ml gin+ 15 ml Triple Sec+ 15 ml pomegranate syrup+ 10 ml fresh lemon juice+ 15 ml chilled mineral water

Lut k ins spec i al mart ini

14

H ot tu b

40 ml gin+ 30 ml dry vermouth+ 30 ml brandy+ 15 ml fresh orange juice

45 ml vodka+ 10 ml crme de cassis+ 30 ml pineapple juice+ champagne

19

O ld g entleman :

60 ml Old Monk+ a dash of Angostura Bitter+ 30 ml sour mix+ 20 ml honey+ hot water

20

SE A BR E E Z E

21

Jama i c an T en S peed

40 ml vodka+ 60 ml cranberry juice+ 30 ml grapefruit juice

60 ml Malibu coconut rum+ 30 ml banana liqueur+ 30 ml melon liqueur+ 120 ml cream+ 120 ml pineapple juice

26

C U B AN S PECIAL

27

BA M B U S

45 ml shot rum+ 20 ml triple sec+ 60 ml pineapple juice+ 10 ml freshly squeezed lime

60 ml red wine+ 60 ml coke+Coke

28

Kam ik a ze

30 ml vodka+ 30 ml Triple Sec+ 30 ml lime juice

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

may 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

1
(dry day in maharashtra)

G r een H o r net

Green T ea & Scotc h

Gypsy Wate r

Ginger ale+ 15 ml melon liqueur+ 15 ml Butterscotch Schnapps

Hot green tea+ ice+ 15 ml Cointreau+ 5ml sugar syrup+ 45 ml Chivas Regal

Rum+ frozen watermelon chunks+ watermelon juice

H awa ii an

Hells Fairy (the only way we would like to go green)

10

H o b b le Gob b le S hot

11

Hot Afternoon Shot

45 ml Vodka+ 120 ml pineapple juice+ mint syrup+ mint leaves

30 ml Apple Juice+ 60 ml Ginger Ale+ 30 ml lemonade+ 60 ml Red Bull+ 60 ml Absinthe

15 ml Bourbon whiskey+ 15 ml rum+

Peach Schnapps+ 30 ml coffee liqueur

15

Ir i sh Ca r Bomb (its indeed a blast)

16

ITAL I AN SAN GRIA

17

Ja- mo r a

18

Jge r bom b

15 ml Irish whiskey+ 15 ml Baileys Irish cream+ 150 ml of beer

A bottle of red wine+ 60 ml grenadine syrup+ 90 ml sweet vermouth+ 90 ml cranberry juice

30 ml vodka+ 15 ml crme de cassis or Chambord+ 15 ml fresh orange juice+ 15 ml apple juice+ champagne

1/2 can Red Bull+ 30 ml Jagermeister

22

Jama ic an Touch

23

Jello s F r u it shot

24

Jun g le j u ic e

45 ml white rum+ 10 ml passion fruit syrup+ 120 ml orange juice

Vodka+ white rum+ coconut rum+ boiling water+ jelly+ lime+ orange

30 ml rum+ 15 ml Triple Sec+ 30 ml cranberry juice+ 30 ml fresh orange juice+ 30 ml pineapple juice+ 10 freshly squeezed lime+ 10 ml sugar syrup

Strained concoction of 30 ml vodka+

25
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

29

RA IN BOW SOUR

30

Khus Coole r

31

VE LVE T KI M O N O

45 ml red wine+ 30 ml brandy+ 10 ml lime juice+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ cherry+ orange slice

45 ml gin+ 15 ml khus syrup+ water based fresh lime+ lime slices+ mint leaves

60 ml vodka+ 4 fresh watermelon chunks+ 10 ml watermelon syrup+ 10 ml sweet and sour mix

A b h i she k T ha ku r, Ba r T ra ine r , L ife Caffe, N e w D elhi

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

30

T EE K H A SHA RAB K A C HAU N K

Chaunk of dry red chilly, asafetida and cumin seeds+ butter milk+ turmeric and red chilly powder+ salt+ 60 ml vodka+ ice

G ULA BI B EB O

Long Island I c ed T ea

K iw i M a rgarita

Four twigs of lemon grass+ rock salt+ green chilly+ 75 ml tequila+ ice cubes+ half tsp Roohafza

20 ml vodka+ 20 ml gin+ 20 ml white rum+ 20 ml tequila+ 20 ml Triple Sec+ 30 ml lemon juice+ coke

Half fresh kiwi fruit+ crushed ice+ 5 ml triple sec+ 7ml kiwi syrup+ 45 ml tequila

DA RK AN D S TO R MY

10

M A RG A RI TA

11

Lon g Island I c ed Tea T WI ST

30 ml Black Rum+ 60 ml ginger beer

45 ml Tequila+ 15 ml Triple Sec+ 30 ml lime juice

Ice+ 30 ml vodka+ 30 ml white rum+ 30 ml tequila+ 30 ml gin+ 30 Cointreau+ 15 ml lime juice+ black aerated drink

16

B LACK R US SI AN

30 ml vodka+ 60 ml of black coffee

17

CR A N I T I N I

18

Ma i den s b lush

Vodka+ cranberry juice

60 ml gin+ 15 ml Triple Sec+ 15 ml pomegranate syrup+ 10 ml fresh lemon juice+ 15 ml chilled mineral water

23

B LACK C H E RRY MARTI NI

24

D et ro it mart in i

25

Ma rg ari ta

60 ml vodka+ one shot of shot crme de cassis or Chambord

Strained concoction of seven fresh mint leaves+ 3 shots vodka+ 1 shot sugar syrup+ 1/8 shot freshly squeezed lime

45 ml tequila+ 15 ml cointreau+ 15 ml lime juice+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ icecubes

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

june 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

Ki ss my moj ito

45 ml raspberry Bacardi+ 5 muddled cranberries+ 10 ml raspberry syrup+ 30 ml cranberry juice+ Muddled mint leaves

45 ml rum+ 15 ml brandy+ 15 ml orange juice+ 15 ml freshly squeezed lime+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ chilled water

La rc hmont

Leg Spreader

l ib e r ac e

60 ml Captain Morgans Spiced Rum+ 60 ml Malibu Coconut Rum+ 60 ml peach Schnapps+ 180 ml Pineapple Juice

7&7

10 ml coffee liqueur+ milk+ rum

60 ml Seagrams 7+ one part of 7UP+ lemon

12

Lynchb urg L emonade

13

Mad r as

14

M ad ros k a

15

M a i Ta i

Jack Daniels+ Cointreau+ lemonade

45 ml vodka+ 120 ml cranberry juice+ 30 ml orange juice

60 ml vodka+ 60 ml apple juice+ 45 ml cranberry juice+ 30 ml freshly squeezed orange

60 ml Bacardi Light Rum+ 60 ml pineapple juice+ 60 ml orange juice+ 30 ml cranberry juice+ 15 ml grenadine+ 15 ml Triple Sec+ 30 ml Myers Dark Rum

19

Mal ib u and Coke

20

Mal i b u Bay b ree ze

21

M aple leaf

22

M aple Syrup

60 ml Malibu Coconut Rum+ 120 ml coke

15 ml Malibu Rum+ 5 ml pineapple juice+ 5 ml cranberry juice

2 shots Bourbon whiskey+ 15 ml freshly squeezed lemon+ 15 ml maple syrup

60 ml Butterscotch Schnapps+ 15 ml Spiced Rum

26

M a rtin i royale

27

MArt i n i

28
Tequila+ Pineapple+ Lime

M atado r (CHEESE COCKTAIL)

29

M e x ic an b om b

30 ml vodka+ 15 ml crme de cassis+ champagne

100 ml gin+ one part of vermouth+ Sprite

45 ml tequila + 1 can of Corona Beer

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

M i lwaukee Stop L ig ht Shot

M i nt da iq u iri

Cinnamon schnapps+ herbal liqueur

2 tsp honey+ 60 ml rum+ mint leaves+ 15 ml lime juice+ 15 ml chilled mineral water

Man g o S mooth ie

C H I L L I HOT C H O CO L AT E

N apalm Bom b Shot

Blend together 60 ml vodka, 45 ml mango puree, 200 gm curd, 2 tbsp honey and pour the concoction into a tall glass. Serve.

20 ml Kahlua+ 20 ml Baileys Irish Cream+ 20 ml Tequila+ cinnamon powder

Herbal liqueur+ rum+ Orange juice

14

ROYAL T I NI

15

G O L D B E RRY

16

P i neapple Ups i de Down Ca k e

2 tbsp fresh pomegranate seeds+ two fresh leaves of basil+ 30ml sour mix+ frappe with ice+ 60 ml gin

45ml Gold label Whiskey+ 15ml Malibu+ 10 ml Lime juice+ 20 mint leaves+ 20 ml honey+ half water+ half soda
T rop ic al Sunset

15 ml pineapple juice+ 15 ml vanilla vodka+ ice+ a splash of grenadine

21

Royalty of plum

22

23

Red H eaded S lut

45ml vodka+ 15ml peach Schnapps+ 4-6 chunks fresh plum+ 60 ml apple juice

Pineapple juice+ fresh cream+ blue Curacao syrup+ Grenadine syrup+ crushed ice+ 30 ml vodka

45 ml Jagermeister+ 45 ml peach Schnapps+ 45 cranberry juice

28

M I NT Y BE L LY

29

Ginger syrup+ mint+ lemon chunks+ brown sugar+ lemon juice+ soda+ lemonade+ 30 ml vodka
Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

45 ml vodka+ 30 ml strawberry juice+ 20 ml lime juice+ 3 basil leaves+ 10 ml sugar syrup+15 ml Cointreau+ice+nitrogen capsule

Royal Ch i nas Spec ial Smo k in g M a rt in i

30

Rum D e Cola (Dont confuse it with Coke and rum)

60 ml dark rum+ 15 ml lime juice+ chaat masala+ 300 ml coke

july 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY
Mi nt Julep (This one is a different take on the classic recipe given earlier)

MOj i to

M on k eys Lunc h

H O N E Y WI NE

60 ml Bourbon whisky+ 6 Spear Mint leaves+ powdered sugar+ crushed ice

2 tsp sugar+ mint leaves+ a splash of soda+ white rum+ ice

30 ml banana liqueur+ 30 ml Kahlua+ milk

90 ml brandy+ 5 cardamoms+ 5 cloves+ 3 cinnamon sticks+ 50 gm ginger+ 20 ml honey+wine

10

GR EEN O C EAN

Old Pal Whiskey shot (WHEN YOU DONT WANT TO HOLD YOUR DRINK FOR TOO LONG)

11

12

WICK E D TWI ST E R

90 ml white wine+ 30ml green apple liqueur+ 40ml sweet and sour+ three slice of green apple

30 ml Bourbon+ 20 ml dry vermouth+ 20 ml Campari

Four chanks of fresh orange+ 12 fresh mint leaves+ half tsp brown sugar+ four chanks of lemon+ 45 ml vodka+ 15 Cointreau+ lemonade

13

Par alizer

30 ml vodka+ 60 ml Kahlua+ 120 ml milk+ 70 ml Coke

17

po ison M i l k Shot

18

Pr es i dent

19
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

20

Qu ic k F ox

15 ml herbal liqueur+ 15 ml Irish cream

60 ml white rum+ 30 ml fresh orange juice+ 10 ml freshly squeezed lemon juice+ 10 ml pomegranate syrup+ chilled water

30 ml Irish Cream+ 30 ml coffee liqueur+ 30 ml melon liqueur

24

Red ma rt in i (BONDS FAVOURITE)

25

Red Rose

26

Red Wi ne Coole r

27

Rose coole r

A cup of pomegranate juice+ half cup of vodka+ Triple sec+ lemon

40 ml Absolut peach+ 5 ml pomegranate syrup+ 15 ml cranberry juice

120 ml red wine+ 60 ml lemon-lime soda+ 60 ml oz ginger ale

60 ml vodka+ lemonade+ ice+ a slice of lime

31

Rum Exoti ca

15 ml litchi syrup+ lime juice+ cold water+ 45 ml white

Man Si n g h , ba r t r a ine r , RA NG DE BA SA N T I D H ABA , Ne w D elhi

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

Muddled slices of ginger+ mint leaves+ 15 ml peach syrup+ 10 ml lime juice+ 45 ml vodka+ half soda+ half water+ lime slices+mint leaves

F IZZ Y GI NG E R

C HO CO FL I P

San g ri a Rosso

15 ml coconut syrup+ lime juice+ 45 ml rum+ Coke

Orange juice+ red wine+ chopped apple

11

C H A RI S M AT IC

12

H A P PY G O LU CK Y

13

Sc r e wd ri ve r (ALL TIME FAVOURITE)

45 ml white rum+ 15 ml Midori+ 15 ml lime juice+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ a melon ball

Assorted fruit balls+ 120 ml vanilla ice-cream+ 45 ml vodka+ 30 ml Peach Schnapps + Sprite

Mix 30 ml vodka+ 120 ml orange juice

18

S T UPEND O U S

19

E X T R AVAG A N T

20

Si dec ar

30 ml Sambuca+ 120 ml of sparkling wine+ green cherry

1 tbsp of sugar+ 15 ml lime juice+ four big cubes of watermelon+ four orange zest+ crushed ice+ 60 ml vodka+ soda

1 part Cointreau+ 2 parts lemon juice+ 8 parts brandy

25

MOSCOW M U L E

26

SM O K E D M ARGA RITA

27

Souths ide Royale

60 ml vodka+ 15 ml lime juice+ sugar syrup+ ginger beer+ a slice of lime+ ginger

45 ml tequila+ 60 ml Triple Sec+ 4 burnt orange zest+ 15 ml lime juice+ 10 ml sugar syrup+ lime juice+salt

Muddled mint leaves+ 30 ml dry gin+ lemon+ 15 ml sugar syrup+ champagne

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

august 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

Rusty N a il

Salty Tequila

Sang r i a B ianco

30 ml Drambuie+ 30 ml scotch+ ice

Salt+ ice+ 45 ml tequila+ pinch of salt+ lime wedges

Apple juice+ white wine+ chopped apple+ cherry

SAN GRI A

8
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

Overnight soaked fruits+ 150 ml of red wine

1 part Chivas 18+ 3/4 Martell Cordon Bleu pernod Absinthe Rinse+ 1/5 sugar syrup+ 1/10 part Peychaud bitter+ 1/10 part bitter lemon and orange twist

Saz e r ac (If you want to work a little bit on your cocktail)

10

Scooby Snack

15 ml melon flavoured liqueur+ 15 ml Malibu+ pineapple juice+ whipped cream

14

S ea br ee ze (THE TANG IN IT IS REALLY GOOD)

15
(DRY DAY THROUGH OUT THE COUNTRY)

16

S e x on the b each

17

Se x w i th an Allig ator

30 ml vodka+ 60 ml cranberry juice+ 30 ml grape juice

30 ml vodka+ 15 ml peach Schanapps+ ice+ orange juice+ a dash of grenadine

10 ml melon liqueur+ a few drops of sweet and sour mix+ 20 ml raspberry liquor+ 5 ml jager

21

Si mple Wh i te Russian

22

S na k e b i te & Blac k

23

S nea k y T eq u ila

24

Southern P r ide S hot

15 ml Kahlua+ 15 ml vodka+ cracked ice

Half a pint of lager+ half a pint of cider+ dash of blackcurrant cordial

Tequila+ coconut rum+ peach Schnapps+ pineapple+cranberry juices

15 ml peach liqueur+ 15 ml peach Schnapps

28
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

29

Spicy Cosmopol itan Ma rt i n i

30
TOO.HAHA)

S p ic y hot cho colate (THIS YOU CAN HAVE IN THE MORNING

31

Sp ic y Or an ge Cap r iosh k a

45 ml infused chili vodka+ 15 ml Triple sec+ 10 ml lime juice+ 10 ml spicy syrup+ 45 ml cranberry juice

Hot chocolate+ milk+ cinnamon+ chili powder+ milk chocolate liqueur

Lemon chunks+ orange chunks+ brown sugar+ 5 ml spicy syrup+ 45 ml chilly vodka+ 15 ml Cointreau+ crushed ice+soda+Sprite

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

S t raw b e r ry Ma rg a r ita

S t r aw b e r ry Sl ing

Suneh ri L assa

60 ml silver tequila+ 10 ml lime juice+ 15 ml cranberry juice+ 10 ml fresh strawberries

Ice-cubes+ 15 ml strawberry crush+ 10 ml lime-juice+ 45 ml vodka+ Sprite+ soda

200 gms yogurt+ 60 ml vodka+ ice cubes+ tbsp honey+ a pinch of saffron

FALLEN A N G E L

9
(DRY DAY IN DELHI) A M E RIC A N B E AU T Y (YOU WILL FIND ITS SHORTER VERSION IN DECEMBER)

10

T eq u i la Zapper

45 ml gin+ 1/2 tspwhite creme+ 1/2lemon+ and a dash of bitters+cherry

45 ml tequila+ lime juice+ sugar syrup+ soda+ sprite+ chaat masala+ lime slices+ mint leaves

15

Woo woo

16

17

TVR

60 ml vodka+ 1 tbsp of peach Schnapps+ 1/2 cup cranberry juice+ lime wedge

Ice cubes+ 30 ml brandy+ 15 ml dry vermouth+ 1/4 tsp white cream+ 30 ml orange juice+ a tsp of grenadine syrup

Vodka+ Red Bull+ a shot of tequila

22

B ACCH U S

23

L avende r and rose mart in i

24

Wen g w en g shot

60 ml brandy+ 30 ml apricot brandy+ 30 ml lime juice+ broken ice+ lime

7ml lavender syrup+ 5 ml rose syrup+ 45 ml vodka+ 45ml chilled champagne

0.75 oz each of Bourbon+ vodka+ tequila+ scotch+ brandy+ rum+ 2 oz pineapple juice+ 2 oz orange juice+ dash of grenadine

29

Wh i te c a k e shot

30

Wh ite Russ ian

Vodka+ chocolate+ cinnamon

Mix 45 ml vodka+ 15 ml Kahlua+ 10 ml milk+ ice

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

september 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

S w eet Surpr ise

Taste of the T rop i c s

T ee k ha Shar a b Ka Chaun k

T eq u i la Sun r ise

60 ml Absolute Citrus vodka+ 15 ml Cointreau+ 15 ml freshlime juice+ 15 ml cranberry juice+ 10 ml orange juice

60ml rum+ 60 ml pineapple juice

45ml. Gold label Whiskey, 15ml. Malibu, 10 ml. Lime juice, 20 mint leaves, 20 ml. Honey, Top with Half water half sod

60 ml Tequila+ 2 tsp grenadine+ 150 ml orange juice

11

T he S heedy Shot

12

TINTO DE VERNO

13

Tom Coll ins (SEMI-HARD)

14

Turbo Shandy

30 ml peach Schnapps+ 30 ml herbal liqueur+ 30 ml apple juice

60 ml red wine+ 15 ml lime juice+ 15 ml orange juice+ 60 ml soda

Gin+ Lemon juice+ sugar syrup

Half a pint of lager+ half a pint of Smirnoff+ ice

18

Urbanpolitan

19

Vod bull

20

Vod k a G i mlet

21

Vodk a mix (SPRUCED UP SCREWDRIVER)

Citrus vodka+ sour mix+ cranberry juice+ lime juice

60 ml vodka+ 30 ml Redbull

120 ml vodka+ 30 ml lime juice

60 ml vodka+ half Sprite+ half orange juice

25

Wh i s k e r s P un ch

26
Whiskey+ ginger wine

Wh i s key M ac

27

Wh is ky Jul E p

28

Wh is k y Sou r

180 ml lime juice+ 500 ml pineapple juice+ 8) fresh orange juice+ 2 bottles whiskey

45ml whiskey+ 120 ml 0range juice+ tonic water+ lime slices+ mint leaves

60 ml whiskey+ 30 ml lemon juice+ 15 ml Simple Syrup+ Egg White

Rana , Ba r Speciali st, RO U T E 0 4, Ne w Delhi; Pawan, ba rtender, H I NG L I SH -T HE COLON I A L C A FE, N e w Delhi

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

mi st ral f izz (CHIVAS SPECIAL)

2 parts Chivas 18+ 1/2 part lime juice+ 1/4 part sugar syrup+ soda

B OS TON COOLE R

A L M OST H E AVE N

8
(DRY DAY IN MAHARASHTRA)

30 ml lemon juice+ 1 tsp powdered sugar+ 60 ml club soda+ 60 ml white rum+ soda

30 ml vodka+ 20 ml Amaretto Almond liqueur+ 20 ml Raspberry liqueur+ 30 ml pineapple juice+ 30 ml Cranberry juice

13

B LUS H I N R US SI AN

14
(DRY DAY IN DELHI) ACCO M P L ICE

15
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

30 ml vodka+ 30 ml Kahlua+ 10 ml coffee liqueur+ 10 ml amaretto almond liqueur+ 30 ml whipped cream

20
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

21

22

r eg al roy

3 strawberries+ 30 ml sugar syrup+ 60 ml vodka+ 15 ml lemon juice+ champagne

45 ml Chivas Regal 18YO+ 15 ml Dubbonet Rouge+ 2 dashes orange bitters

27

B LUE JACK E T

28

BI L LY TAYLO R

29

Bee s Knee s

15 ml gin+ 15 ml Blue Curacao liqueur+ dashof orange bitters+ ice cubes

60 ml gin+ 15 ml lime+ ice cubes+ carbonated water

5 ml English Dry Gin+ 15 ml honey+ jasmine flower+ 60 ml sweet lime juice+ crushed ice

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

october 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

2
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

bento b ox (VISUALLY POWERFUL)

ab e r deen fl i p

t w i ns fix

2 parts Chivas 18+ bento box+ ice+ chopsticks

2 parts Chivas 18+ 1 part Oloroso Sherry+ 1 whole egg+ 1/4 honey spiced syrup+ 1/10 part Fee Brothers Aztec+ chocolate bitters+ 2 tsp black cherry jam

2 parts Chivas 18+ 3/4 part lemon juice+ 1/2 pineapple syrup+ 1/5 part yellow chartreuse

t wi ns da isy

10

trilogy

11

sa z e r ac

12

A lg onqu in

2 parts Chivas 18+ 3/4 part lemon juice+ 1/2 raspberry syrup+ 1/5 part yellow chartreuse

1 part Chivas 18+ 1 part Chivas chilled+ 1 part Chivas frozen

1 tsp sugar syrup+ three dashes of bitters+ 90 ml whiskey

50 ml Chivas Regal+ 30 ml Lillet Blanc+ 30 ml pressed pineapple juice+ Peychaud bitter

16

TODAYS S PECI AL

17

pe r fect serve

c h ivas d iva (IF YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING FOR YOUR ARMCANDY)

18

19

c h ival ry

60 ml Chivas Regal 12YO+ 5ml Benedictine+ 5ml Lillet Rouge

50 ml Chivas Regal+ 1 tsp brown sugar+ 1 pear slice+ 2 drops Madagascan vanilla essence

40 ml Chivas Regal 12YO+ 50 ml lychee juice+ 15 ml raspberry puree+ 10 ml fresh lemon juice+ 5 ml sugar syrup

45 ml Chivas Regal 12YO+ 45 ml apple juice+ 45 ml sparkling water+ 10 ml fresh lemon juice+ 5 ml elderflower cordial

23

TODAYS SPECI AL FROM CHIVAS

24

8 0 s W i ne Coole r

25

T rout i e

26

Avata r

40 ml Chivas Regal 12YO+ 35 ml pineapple juice+ 10 ml vanilla sugar syrup+ 10 ml pomegranate+ 6 basil leaves

120 ml white wine+ 180 ml 7Up+ 15 ml grapefruit juice+ 15 ml pineapple juice+ 15 ml lime juice

60 ml Absolut Mandrin vodka+ 60 ml grapefruit juice+ 7up

45 ml gin+ 15 ml kiwi puree+ 30 ml tonic+ 6 Ice cube

30

Ca bo

31

ca r i b e

45 ml white tequila+ 10ml lime juice+ 120 ml pineapple juice

10 ml dark rum+ 30 ml pineapple juice+ 15 ml lemon juice

A r un Kuma r, b a rtender , Che ri, N ew D elh i; U day P rakash, b a rtender , Royal Ch ina , Ne w D elhi

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

3
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

P ol i sh P rofesso r

Che r i s D ia b lo

30 ml jigger vodka+ 120 ml pineapple juice+ 30 ml soda

60 ml light rum+ 5 lime chunks+ 4 basil+ crushed ice

10

B OULEVA R D

11

AU N T AGAT H A

12

Co rs ic an

60 ml whiskey+ 15 ml orange flavoured liqueur+ 15ml dry vermouth

40 ml light rum+ 60 ml orange juice+ ice+ Angostura bitters

45 ml orange+ 15ml lime juice+ 150 ml soda

17

B EACH B U M

18

Rasp be r ry Renegade

19

H avana Beach

45 ml orange juice+ 30 ml Bacardi Lemon Rum+ Sprite

60 ml splashes raspberry liqueur+ 45 ml 7-Up soda+ lemon juice

40 ml dark rum+ 40 ml pineapple juice+ 4 dashes lemon juice

24
(Dry Day in Delhi)

25
(Dry Day in Delhi)

26

Manhattan

45 ml Bourbon whiskey+ 15 ml sweet vermouth+ Angoustry Bitters+ 1 Marachino Cherry

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

november 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

Cha k r a

c heetah

30 ml white rum+ 30 ml Midori+ 15 ML creme de banana+ 30 ml orange juice+ 30 ml banana half+ half banana

60 ml vodka+ 10 ml ginger syrup+ 45 ml coconut water+ green chilly+ lemongrass+ Sprite


Con c hi ta

ma rgr i ta

red wine cooler

Chow nin g s Tave r n W ine Coole r

5 ml tequilla+ 15 ml Cointreau+ 15 ml lime juice+ crushed ice+ thick slush

60 ml wine+ 150 ml lemon-lime soda+ fruits to top

3/4 glass lemonade+ 1/4 glass dry red wine

30 ml white tequila+ 30 ml grapefruit juice+ 2 drops lemon juice

13

Dha r ma

14
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

15

F en i H ig h b all

16

G r apef r u it Tease r

30 ml vodka+ 30 ml pernod+ 1 tsp grenadine+ soda

40 ml apple liqueur+ 15 ml fresh lime juice+ 120 ml 7-Up

300 ml grapefruit juice+ 120 ml Malibu coconut rum+ 1 splash lime juice

20

Havana (PRETEND CHEESE)

21
(DRY DAY IN DELHI)

22

H awa iian Cool (FRESH CHEESE)

23

M al ib u sur fe r

30 ml light rum+ 30 ml pineapple juice+ 1 tsp lemon juice+ vodka

4 oz orange juice+ 40 ml lemon juice+ 3 tbsp lime juice+ 120 ml soda

60 ml Malibu coconut rum+ pineapple juice+ 7-Up

27

Mi nt Jul i p (Its the only beverage we find refreshing)

28

Pi cc ad i lly

29

P i neapple W ine Coole r

30

P ola r Bea r

60 ml Bourborn+ lime juice+ mint syrup

30 ml Dooleys+ 30 ml tequila+ Creme de Menthe

120 ml white wine+ 60 ml club soda+ 60 ml pineapple juice+ 1 tsp powdered sugar

30 ml vodka+ 15 ml lime juice+ 90 ml Soda

S U N DAY

M O N DAY

T U E S DAY

MA RY JA N E

30 ml vanilla ice-cream+ 30 ml dark rum+ 30 ml white rum+ 10 ml lime juice

10 ml chocolate syrup+60 ml Tequila+ a few drops of Tabasco


HA N DY DA N DY

O N E N IG H T STA N D

Ice+30ml chocolate ice cream+60ml light rum+ 30 ml fresh cream+ chocolate shavings

B EE R S H AMPO O

9
ice cubes

SH E IK YE RBO U T Y

10

Santas Sack

15 ml vodka+ 15 ml Tequila+ 15 ml white rum+ 15 ml Bournbon+ beer

30 ml Jagermeister+ 15 ml Blue Curacao+ 15 ml Red Bull+

Orgeat Almond Syrup+ Creme De Cacao+ vodka+ whipped Cream

15

F IR E B OM B

16

B U BB L E g um

17

VE LVET D REA M

30 ml vodka+ 15 ml tequila+ 15 ml whiskey+ Tabasco

15 ml vodka+ 10 ml banana flavoured liqueur+ 15 ml Baileys+ 5 ml grenadine syrup+ 15 ml orange juice

Velvet Falernum+ Chartreuse+ lime/lemon juice+ full proof rum

22

ONE F O R T HE MEN

23

Aq ua r i us

24

B LU E B UL L ET

60 ml white rum+ 1 tbsp brown sugar+ 7-8 mint leaves+ 5-6 lemon wedges+ 10 ml lime juice+ soda

45 ml scotch whiskey+ 15 ml cherry brandy+ 30 ml cranberry juice+ice

Blue Curacao+ Overproof rum

29

B LOODY JACK

30
Kahlua+ Baileys+ vodka

O RG A SM

31

T RI P L E J OE

30 ml Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey+ ice-cubes+ coca-cola+ cherry grenadine

Passion fruit syrup+ Blue Curacao+ rum

Courtesy: Siddhartha M. Jain (iRock Media Pvt. Ltd.)

december 2013
W E D N E S DAY T H U R S DAY F RI DAY s AT U R DAY

LON G L IV E ROCK

TOMMY S MARG ARITA

FL A M I N G M OR E SQ U E (FLAME ON)

E VAS B OOT

Ice cubes+ 60 ml dark rum+ 30 ml light rum+ 60 ml orange juice+ 60 ml cranberry juice+ pineapple juice

Aged Tequila+ lemon/lime juice+ Agave Syrup

Grenadine+ Orgeat almond syrup+ Absinthe

Caramen syrup+ Kahlua+ coconut rum

11

BLUE B UL L ET

12
Kahlua+ Baileys+ Absinthe

FLAMING B-57 (YOU CAN FEEL THE HEAT IN THE THROAT)

13
Sambuca+ Baileys

SL I P P E RY NIPPLE

14

COCO LOCO

Blue Curacao+ Overproof Rum

Coconut rum+ lemon/lime juice+ pineapple juice+ Blue Curacao

18

WET PUSSY

19

Banana sandw i ch

20

E RRO LS FLYN N

21

B - 52

Lychee juice+ Pernod liqueur+ grenadine

Kahlua+ banana liqueur+ Baileys

Chartreuse+ Bournbon whiskey

Kahlua+ Baileys+ Grand Marnier-Cordon Rouge

25

Cheese (Drop the grenadine in carefully from about three inches above, into the centre of the shot)

26

M.O.F (MICE ON FIRE)

27

B LOW JO B (THATS ALL WE CARE FOR)

28

A M E RIC A N B E AU T Y

Peach liqueur+ Baileys+ grenadine

Two slics of cucumber mashed up+ 10 drops Tabasco+ pinch ofsalt+ lemon/limejuice Tequila

Kahlua+ Baileys+ vodka+ whipped cream

White creme de cacao+ vodka+ rasberry puree

Ba rtende r , Dimsum Bros, Gurgaon

9 New Year Resolutionsyou have no intention of keeping


train of thought is interrupted by a traffic jam. This whole country is going to the dogs, why the hell doesnt the government do something, what is it using your tax money for? You lean out of your SUV and squint your eyes to read A skirt is not an invitation to rape, mutter to yourself and sit back. This is a necessary demonstration, unlike those rascal pilots who went on a strike or those unreasonable workers demanding overtime. Stop jumping for deals which are too good to be true While you are driving to work, a decent looking fella implores you to lower your window on a red light. He offers you a brand new Sony Vaio laptop that fell off a truck for just 25K. He shows you the laptop, its golden but you can make do its brand new, so you haggle down to 10K, he comes with you to the ATM, you withdraw cash, he haggles more and places the bag in the backseat advising you not to stick around for long. On the next light, you pull up the bag to set eyes on your new laptop and find half-a-brick inside. start Cycling Everyone around knows at least one person who comes to office on a bicycle. Its the perfect way to stay fit, get lean, avoid jams and do your best for the environment. With this in mind, you get yourself a folding bicycle that easily fits in the back of your car. You will use it when you dont have to go anywhere at night, dont need to wear good clothes to work, when its not too cold, or the minute you buy yourself a bicycle lock. At the end of two weeks, the virgin bicycle gets retired to the storeroom between the OTG and the treadmill. distances, India is playing cricket or on Christmas and public holidays. Stopping drinking is easier than not using the office loo all you have to do is sto...you will think about de-addiction as soon as you are back from the loo. Stop Surfing Twitter Porn @IlikeGirlsDaily, @ IlikeSexDaily,@NudeSelfies, @ HottiesFTW is the first thing you troll in the morning without so much as pressing the Clear History button after. But you secretly suspect there might be a way your activities are mirroring on your profile telling your followers (all three of them) why you spend 15 minutes every morning looking at pictures of grandmothers wearing thongs. Go off Cricket Sachin is God. BCCI and Dhoni treated god badly, so they must suffer. As a punishment you will boycott all matches. Of course, by all matches you mean ones you havent bet on or ones that are playing in pubs when you are out drinking. Save Money Did you know it takes about 25 percent more fuel to reverse out of a parking spot than it takes to reverse into one? Thats just the tip of the iceberg. All you have to do is stop paying for other peoples alcohol, start taking the bus to office and wait for your birthday to buy new underwear. With the leftover money you can make the downpayment of a house and buy a Ferrari right? Probably. If the Ferrari is a 1:16 model made by Hot Wheels and the house is made of cheap playing cards.
Words: Kabeer Sharma

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9
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You were at India Gate at 8am to protest against the government callous attitude. On the way back at lunch at Taj, you vowed you would not rest till you did something about it. In fact, you will get to planning as soon as you sleep off your lunch, write those 13 emails youve been putting off and arrange your thoughts by when it will be time to go out and drink. So what if next day is work and you spend the day approving ads for cement brands featuring buxom models in swimsuits. Fighting corruption Its a problem plaguing our society. Everyone from the cop on the street to the politician is corrupt. EVERYONE. They need to be hung upside down in a pile of dog crap or worst still made fun of on Twitter till the time they realise the folly of their ways and turn a new leaf. Just then, a cop pulls you
January 2013

Doing something about the safety of women

over for talking on your cellphone while driving and you continue thinking about how to tackle corruption as you slip crisp 100 ` notes into his hand and zoom off.

Supporting demonstrations They are good, essential for democracy, the voice of the youth and the anger of the masses your

Stop drinking Its going to be a breeze. You are not an alcoholic you never drink alone at home except when youve driven long

See you next month

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fhmindia.com

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