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Running Head: FINAL PROJECT FHS 1500

Final Project FHS 1500 Julia Foley Salt Lake Community College

Running Head: FINAL PROJECT FHS 1500 I was born two months premature on November 2nd, 1975. I came into the world at 9:48 p.m., two minutes after my twin sister Heather. I weighed a mere 3 lbs. when I was born and spent 8 weeks in the hospital, most of it in ICU in an incubator. My sister and I arrived home just in time for Christmas with my family. We were children number 5 and 6. We were also the last born. I have two brothers and three sisters. At the time I was born we were living in Warrensburg, MO where my dad was a professor at the University of Central Missouri. I was raised by both my parents in a religious LDS family. My mother was a registered nurse and later became a psychiatric nurse. My father got his Ph.D. in linguistics and worked many different positions with this degree and eventually got a permanent position with the LDS church as a linguist when I was in high school. He worked there until his retirement. My mother worked as a psychiatric nurse in a mental health institution for teenagers until her retirement. We moved from Missouri to Orem, Utah when I was two years old. My siblings and I met a lot of friends there in the neighborhood and I had a very happy childhood there. I attended kindergarten through the fourth grade in Orem. When I was ten my dad lost his job and we relocated to Sierra Vista, AZ. This was a very hard move for me. I was leaving the only place I had lived as far back as I could remember. This was my first traumatic experience. I left all the close friends and tight knit neighborhood to move to a different state and definitely different culture than I was used to. I felt lost and alone. In Arizona my twin sister Heather and I started making friends from different cliques. I was much shyer than my sister and had a harder time making new friends. There was not as many church members in the small army base town of Sierra Vista. There also were a lot of people whose parents were in the Army so they would come and go. Living in this state gave me

Running Head: FINAL PROJECT FHS 1500

a whole new perspective of the world I had been so sheltered from growing up in Orem with all Mormon friends and neighbors. I made friends that drank, smoked and had sex as young as middle school. When I entered middle school I soon became very certain that I had to be a certain way for the approval of my friends rather than for the approval of my family or my church. I not only felt peer pressure to do drink and try drugs but to have sex long before I was emotionally ready for it and with boys that were much older than I was. Entering high school I had already done many things my family and religion was against. This was something none of my older brothers and sisters had done and I definitely became the black sheep at this point. I believe I created a lot of negative attention for myself because as the youngest and the shyest of all my siblings I didnt feel as if I got much attention. I look back now and believe that I craved the negative attention and even if I was getting in trouble it was better than getting ignored. When I was 15 years old and in my freshman year of high school I got in trouble for missing so much school because I would leave every day with my boyfriend who was out of high school. I finally got suspended and my parents who were pretty unaware of a lot of my behavior due to their overworked schedules. I had gotten away with far too much for far too long. My school finally called my parents in and let them know a lot of what was going on. I was then sent to live with my grandma and grandpa in Salt Lake City, UT to get me away from who they assumed was the root of my problems, my older boyfriend. Living with my grandparents was an extremely hard time period for me. I was immature emotionally and a young teenager going through puberty. I felt I had been taken away from everyone who cared about me and abandoned. I was in teenage angst and became severely depressed. I also stopped

Running Head: FINAL PROJECT FHS 1500

being physically active and began to overeat and gain weight. I also had a very hard time meeting new friends at my new school. I felt completely lost and different from everybody. Eventually my parents and sisters moved to Utah because my grandfather found out that he had cancer and passed away. Living with him during this time was especially hard due to my depression and his illness. Things did get much better when my family moved to Utah and the last couple of years before I graduated High School my grades improved and so did my attitude. I still felt different but had now decided if I became the person my family wanted me to be then I would finally be happy. This lasted until a few years after high school. I was one that didnt go to college right from school but entered the workplace and tried to figure out what my future career should be. I got engaged due to pressure that I should be now looking for a husband and thinking about starting a family. All my siblings were now married and starting to have children and I felt the need to follow in their footsteps. I did feel very fake and much pressured and eventually I realized that my fianc also felt this way. We called off our wedding a week before we were supposed to get married. This changed my life completely. I had stood up for myself and went from one extreme to the other. I went from trying to do everything that my family wanted me to do to everything they were against. I had started school when I was engaged and when we called off the wedding I gave up school because I had begun to drink and do drugs and school was left in the dust. The next period of my life has affected my life the most. The decisions I made when I was younger I thought would never catch up to me. I was reckless and carefree and selfish. In the text it describes the feelings of invincibility as a teenager. I believe mine may have come later than that and for me it started when I was in my twenties. I took myself down a path of addiction and

Running Head: FINAL PROJECT FHS 1500

treatment, depression, suicidal thoughts and even criminal charges. I put myself and my family through much pain and heartache and went back and forth from using to sobriety to relapse. I gave up many wonderful opportunities in both career and schooling for my addictions. I gave up people who may have made my life better and stayed with ones who were abusive and unhealthy. It has taken me many years of incarceration, therapy, inpatient treatment, brutal honesty and being at the lowest points in my life to come back and gain a purpose that keeps me sober today. I became pregnant during my addiction and tried to become clean for my child. This only lasted a little while. I had to finally become brutally honest and let go of the expectations I thought everyone, especially my family, had of me. I finally got past the fear of success that I was living with for so long. Reading the text I have seen many examples of who Ive been and different things Ive done or different ways I could have gone. Especially when Ive read the teenage years did I realize many things I wish I had known when I was that age. Many of the feelings I had I felt alone in. I felt crazy and confused and had no idea that others may be facing the same issues. My daughter is now almost 9 years old and she and I already have a much different relationship than I had with my parents. I do not blame my parents for my addictions or the things that have gone wrong in my life but I do want to do things differently in many areas. I already have communication regarding sex and drugs and issues that my parents never brought up with me. I do things now and will continue to do things that contribute to my emotional wellbeing and do what I feel is best for my daughter. I dont push religion on her or beliefs that some may feel she has to have. She goes to church because she wants to and if she doesnt want to I

Running Head: FINAL PROJECT FHS 1500 dont make her go. I am the same way. School is very different for me now. It took me a while to figure out where I was headed and what my goals were. I used to think this would never involve school but I know now that it does. In school now however I feel excited and happy to learn new things. I am going to working towards getting a masters degree in Social Work and helping people who have gone through many of the same things I have. It isnt as easy as it may have been almost twenty years ago but it is rewarding and I enjoy it. I also look forward to someday becoming a wife and maybe even have another child. I do not push it and try to focus on the here and now. I have come to value my family for who they are and realize each persons reality is different and everyone has their own issues they have gone through. Now that I am honest with myself I can be honest with them and that makes us have the best relationship we have ever had. I look forward to continuing to better myself and know that many more stages with put me through ups and downs. The journey of life is amazing and to numb it out and avoid it has proven to be such a sad way to spend it.