Perez 1 David Perez John Kubler English 114A 14 October 2013 Observing Love Sitting down inside the

Oviatt Library between the Freudian Sip and the computers, I came across an interesting couple. From a distance I watched them do what they do in a regular basis. Walking in they were smiling at each other looking for a place to eat. They sat down by a table where both of them can be near each other. The boy went to go grab some food while the girl sat down and saved the seats. While the girl waited, she casually pulled out her phone and started taking pictures of her man. After a couple of minutes the boy came back to the table and brought food for the both of them. The girl seemed happy at the nice gesture the boy had to offer. After the boy sat down to eat with the girl, the girl showed him the pictures. She smiled and he looked weirded out. She then pointed at her phone saying how cute he looked later giving him a kiss in the cheek. While they ate the couple began talking and laughing. They spoke for quite a while even after finishing their food. The boy began gathering the left over crumbs and trash and went over to the trash can to throw away the remains. The girl waited for him to come back later going on their way out the door. Before they stepped outside the door, I carefully approached them and asked them if they had some time to answer some questions. They said yes, so I directed them back to their table and told them that I was watching them for a while explaining I had to do it for an assignment. The girl laughed and said, Alright. I asked them nine simple questions. The first question was, what city do you live in? They both answered Quartz hill. They explained that they have been knowing each other for quite a while even before college. Second, I asked how much do they spent together each

Perez 2 day? The girl answered Every day and the boy answered, We cant get enough of each other making the girl laugh. My third question was, what do they do for fun or for romantic occasions? They answered that sometimes they go back home and spend time with friends and sometimes they just go eat at the same usual restaurants on campus. On my fourth question I asked, who seemed more interested in hooking up in the beginning of the relationship and the boy said that he was the one that began making the moves later asking her if she wanted to be his girlfriend. The fifth question was answered when the boy said he made the first moves to break the ice between each other. He explained how he had to ask her out multiple times so that he can finally reach the comfort level to ask her out on that particular date to ask her to be his girlfriend. My sixth question was, should female track runners be allowed to race with men on the Olympics? The couple both answered No. The boy said that females wouldnt be safe and comfortable within the competition, and the girl answered that girls dont have the physical capabilities to run at the same pace with the other men. The boy noticed my questions getting more complicated when he decided that the girl can answer most of the female related questions. For my seventh question I asked the girl if she agreed with the U.S Military decisions to let women participate with the men in the armys combat forces. The girl answered, yes. She described how women should have the opportunity to fight if they wanted to. The girl checked her answer with the boy and the boy just agreed with her. For my eighth question I asked the couple, who do you think is more dominant in your relationship? When I asked, they both smiled and each other and agreed that it depends on the situation. but in a way said the boy, I give most of the decision making to my girlfriend. For my last question, I asked them, what makes true love possible in todays modern society? The boy answered communication. He explained that communication made it easier for boys to know what girls want and to see how they are feeling. The girl answered that there has to be passion within the relationships. She explained that couples should be willing to make sacrifices and fight

Perez 3 for what they love. After that last question, I went further asking them what they thought was the secret to having the perfect relationship. This, Ill explain towards the end of this essay. To end the interview, I asked them to observe the Vodka photo that my group was assigned and tell me what they thought was happening. They described that the girl was about to be victim of a rape crime. They described that the man on top was a classy handsome looking guy who would capture attractive girls attention, give them lots of drinks and rape them when they were unconscious. Before approaching the couple I thought they were the perfect example of a couple. Im pretty sure thats what caught my attention when I began observing them. In my opinion when I first saw the couple, the power dynamics were mostly distributed towards the male. The male had more power in the relationship mostly because he was the one being touched the most. Even when I first saw them, the girl was doing all the touching, all he had to do was let himself and enjoy the moment. It seemed like he had what he wanted. During the interview, I saw that the girl was mostly interested in doing it. With that, it already told me she had most of the power in the relationship because it means she had control over the male. Another example would be when I saw that the male was buying her food. She was being served and she was loving it. The thing is that I dont think the couple realized what they were doing. They honestly did it just to please each other. Towards the end of the interview, the male decided to back away from the questions that involved female interactions. To me, that seemed like he didnt want to get into any trouble with topics that involved females and power. It was something he had to have caution when he was around his girlfriend. The male just agreed with what the female had to say just to stay cool. In comparison to what my original assumptions were. The roles in power dynamics switched. The female had more power in the relationship compared to the male. When talking about the vodka add, I wasnt really able to compare the explanation they gave me with what I saw in their relationship. It was completely opposite. What I saw was that the

Perez 4 power was mostly given to the female in the relationship, and in the add they described that the male was the one who showed more dominance. The most interesting part was that it was the female that gave me the interpretation, and the male just agreed. The male really didnt have much to say because he really wasnt interested in the interview although we was only willing mostly because his girlfriend didnt mind. Earlier, after question nine, I had asked the couple what they think the perfect couple is. What their secrets were and what was their advice. They went further in their explanation when they both agree that a relationship should have communication. They told me to never leave anything hanging for too long. This meant that if they sensed this hanging feeling to not avoid it. One must address the feeling and communicate so that the relationship may continue to run peacefully. The girl in the relationship was the one who constantly reminded me that there has to be love in the relationship. I did ask them if they were okay with one having more love in the relationship than the other, and they answered yes. They said love is love. One mustnt ask for love or feel like they require more love than what they are already receiving because that really isnt love. While the girl spoke the boy just looked at her and agreed with it. They finished telling me their advice and decided it was time to go. I was left impressed with what they had to say because personally I never would have expected an answer like that. The couple picked up their stuff and went on their way.