Analysis Memo Cody Cauthen September 8, 2013 This is my rhetorical analysis of my complaint letter.

Within my complaint letter, I triedy to appeal to the departments Ethos, Logos, and Pathos. In the beginning I decided to go ahead and describe myself, and who I am, as well as where I am coming from. I appealed to their Ethos by addressing them as an authority and being polite with my words. I addressed their Pathos by describing the pain I went through during my accident, and the pain I went through while adjusting to my new home at Moore Hall. I used Logos when I described the accident and the surgery that followed. I gave evidence of my accident with detail. My use of Logos, Pathos, and Ethos will allow me to achieve the winning argument and persuade the audience of my complaint letter. In the letter, I used Logos to give myself some credibility. When I stated I had broken my leg, I went as far as to describe the break in detail. I listened when the doctor told me what exactly broke and I know the procedure that I went under. I gave myself credibility when I am clear with my information, and I am accurate with my information. I described the elevator situation with great detail and accurate information. I appealed to their emorality and Ethos by honoring their status as head of their department. I also showed that I am polite with the diction I used, such as Sirs and Madams, which proved that I knew who I might be addressing, without being too specific as to get the gender of the audience wrong. I provided that I had
Comment [AP2]: How so, can you be specific? Comment [AP3]: Okay, but what does this do and why is it effective? Comment [AP4]: Whose? Comment [AP1]: This sentence seems lost. Or like it just doesnt belong. That maybe its only function is to occupy space.

character by addressing I was a proud student of UNCC and that I care about the safety of my fellow students, as well as their comfort. Within the letter I try to appeal to their sense of emotions by using Pathos. I tried to hit them with sympathy with the fact that I was still in pain during the first few weeks of college and having to strain going up to my room each and every day. I used words such as pain and limp to describe my feelings that are produced. These words prove that this case is emotional and it takes a toll on me every time this happens. The dangerous incident with the elevator shaft opening up should strike fear into them about a lawsuit or the fact that a student may get severely injured. The diction fatally injured should make an emotional impact that allows for them to take action and get this problem solved. Knowing that someone may potentially be harmed should be enough reason to take action on emotion. I feel as if my argument is valid and that it should be addressed. I hit the main points and collectively showedn my intention of getting this problem resolved. I feel like their will be no consequences of my actions towards getting a reply back. I feel that I will get a positive response and change from the department heads with my statement. With my use of Pathos, Logos, and Ethos I believe that I will make change if I happen to send this letter. I appealed to their sense of honor and credibility with my diction and showed them character by letting them know Im proud to be at UNCC and that I honestly care about my fellow students. I appealed to their emotions with my story, as well as diction. Finally, I appealed to the audience by reason with facts.
Comment [AP7]: Im not sure what youre saying here. Comment [AP6]: You keep using the phrase I hit. This both sounds a little too casual for the genre/audience and a little redundant. Comment [AP5]: Good, now youre getting specific and really discussing your analysis.

All in all, this complaint should be awarded with success, because of the rhetoric that was used.
Comment [AP8]: A good conclusion should reinforce and revisit what was discussed in the essay, not repeat. Have a conversation here. the conclusion is the last thing your teacher will read before assigning a grade, so why not make it count. This feels like an obligatory final paragraph. Formatted: Left

Cody, I think you do a great job with your letter and you really can tell this is an issue that is important to you. In your analysis, your writing really seems to come to life when you discuss the leg breaking episode, probably because it is an event that you have a lot of feelings about. I do want you to reconsider your approach to your essay. I feel like most of it is a summation of your letter and dont really show thoughtful reflection on your writing process and the whys and what-fors of the strategies youve used here. Really dive into a conversation. Discuss your audience and why youve chosen to address them the way that you have. Also, a lot of fluff. No need to give me a lesson on what rhetoric is.

Cody Cauthen Moore Hall 1105 September 8, 2013 To: Housing and Residence Life Dear Sirs and Madams, I am writing to inform you of an incident that continuously happens in my residence hall. I am a resident of Moore Hall on the 11th floor. Before move in day I had no knowledge of the fact that the 11th floor had no access to an elevator directly. This was a problem for me when I found out on move in day. Basically, the 11th floor residents have to use stairs no matter what the circumstance. To some this may not seem like that big of a deal, or an issue, but to me it was. Before high school graduation in the spring, I broke my leg in three places. I had to undergo major surgery to install a metal plate into my bones, as well as nine screws. This incident made me have to walk across the stage at graduation on crutches and a cast. Over the summer, it healed for the most part but I had to wear a boot for the remainder of the recovery. I also had to wear the boot and be in pain during my SOAR event. At the end of summer 2013, I had received another surgery to remove two screws to help with my mobility. By the time move in day came, I was cleared from the boot, but still had major pains, as well as a limp. Then come to find out that, I, the kid who was still recovering from a major injury had to go up a flight of stairs no matter what during the day.

Comment [AP9]: What would happen if you cut this line? I feel like you shouldnt allow a window where your complaint might not be considered a big deal. Comment [AP10]: Thats a bad day.

Comment [AP11]: Interesting, making the complaint extremely relevant.

Comment [AP12]: This is a very conversational, colloquial phrase. Maybe too casual for this genre of writing.

This seemed like the only problem that was going to occur in Moore to me, but then the elevator issues started occurring. One day while waiting to go down to the main floor, after I pressed the elevator button, the doors to the elevator opened, but there was no elevator at all. It was just an elevator shaft. This could be very dangerous to someone who is not paying any attention, and could potentially harm him or her, or fatally injure him or her. I am looking out for others as much as I am for my own safety and comfort. In addition to this problem, the same elevator keeps shutting down completely during the prime time of the day when people most need it. As a resident of Moore and a proud student of UNCC I request that the department of Housing and Residence address and fix the issues before the next academic year so that any residents will have no issues.

Comment [AP13]: Interesting stuff here. Comment [AP14]: Nice. building a good rapport after some negative experiences. Comment [AP15]: I like the sort of altruistic tone you create here.

Sincerely, Cody Cauthen