How To Talk To Your Children So That Theyll Listen

Get the little ones to listen without the drama and tantrum. Parenting is one tough job and while children are a bundle of joy, they can also be little devils in disguise. You can be assured your patience will be tested through and through. Sometimes even the most well behaved angels can show their stubborn and naughty sides, refusing to listen and even defying everything you say. Before you blow your top, remember that for the most part, disciplining children involves communication. The way you tal to your ids will teach him or her on how to tal to others. !eep in mind these pointers when you are communicating with the iddos"

Connect, Not Control The idea is not to control rather connect. #on$t give your child direction% instead teach him how to focus. &hen tal ing to your id about a serious matter, s'uat to your child$s eye level and engage with eye(to(eye contact to get his attention. The same goes when your id wants you to listen to what he or she has to say. #on$t ma e intense eye contact that he or she gets the feeling that you$re more interested in controlling rather than connecting.

Keep It Brief )hildren have short attention span and when it comes to dealing with an issue, eep it short and succinct. Start by addressing your child$s name and use the one( sentence rule. *ave you realised that +ittle ,ohnny becomes -parent(deafsometimes. /ambling will not get his attention. This is a very common mista e when dealing with a disciplinary problem. 0nd children will 'uic ly learned that getting you to eep on tal ing is a way to get you side(trac ed. )rafty1 Learn Kids' Talk

+isten to how your ids communicate with each other or their peers and ta e note. This is not to baby him or her but adopting their style of tal ing so that they can understand you better. 2se short sentences with one(syllable words and try to get your child to repeat the re'uest bac to you. 3f he or she shows that disinterested loo or can$t repeat your re'uests, you are no longer being understood. 3n toddlers, don$t as , -&hy did you do that.- but say, -+et$s tal about what you did.- This helps them to understand their behaviour 4 good or bad 4 better.

Try Positive Talk Ta e the positive approach and avoid using negative words li e -no.- 5or e6ample, instead of saying -no running,- try -inside the house 4 we wal , outside at the par 4 you can run.- 0lso, you can try the directives approach. So instead of saying -Get down now1- use -3 want you to get down from there1- This is especially useful for ids that want to please but don$t li e being ordered. By saying -3 want,- you$re giving your child a reason for agreement rather than just an order.

Reinforcing With When!Then! -&hen you finish your homewor , then you can watch T7.- The word -when- implies that you e6pect obedience and it wor s better than -if.- The word -if- suggests that your child has a choice even when you don$t intend to.

Present Choices +et your children have a say in the decision(ma ing. -#o you want to wear the red dress or pin one today.- 3t$s good to let your child decide on what she wants and ma e them feel valued. This also helps build character and communicate with you effectively.

I"portance of #anners

This is crucial1 Spea to your child li e how you want them to spea to you. 86pect your child to be polite at all times and they shouldn$t feel li e manners are optional. 0lso, threats and judgmental sentences that begin with -You- are most li ely to put your child on the defensive. 3t sounds more accusatory, so go for -3- sentences. 3nstead of -You must pic up9- just say -3 am glad when you put away your toys.Talk Cal"ly Sometimes when things don$t go their way, you are faced with tantrums, loud yelling and angry tears. But remember this, the louder he or she screams, the softer you must respond. 3f you allow yourself to be at his level of frustrations, you will have two tantrums to deal with. So be the adult and interject his episodes with comments li e -Yes, 3 understand,- or -)an 3 help.- :ften times, ids just want to feel that they are being listened to. Credit: Ask Dr Sears