On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

TAZR74

TORAH-FAX 5774 TAZRIA

ON BALDNESS BY RABBI JACK RIEMER
Ladies and gentlemen - or to be more exact - gentlemen. listen in too i& t"e! %is". ' %ant to s(ea) toda! abo$t a s$b*ect t"at ' ne+er s(o)e abo$t &rom t"e ($l(it be&ore. 'n &act# it is a s$b*ect t"at is +er! seldom tal)ed abo$t in mixed com(an!. en %ill occasionall! tal) abo$t it in t"e (ri+ac! o& t"e loc)er room b$t t"e! rarel! s(ea) abo$t it %"en %omen are (resent. And !et# ' %ant to tal) abo$t it toda!# &or t%o reasons, one# beca$se it a&&ects so man! o& $s# and t%o# beca$se t"e Tora" tal)s abo$t it in t"is %ee)-s sedra. 't is good t"at %e are meeting toda! in a s!nagog$e t"at is traditional# a s!nagog$e in %"ic" all t"e men %"o are (resent are %earing "ead co+erings. .ome o& t"ese "ead co+erings are small, ot"ers are large. B$t it is t"e &act t"at all o& t"e men in t"e room toda! are %earing some )ind o& a "ead co+ering t"at gi+es me t"e co$rage to s(ea) abo$t t"is s$b*ect toda!. /or t"e to(ic t"at ' %ant to s(ea) abo$t toda! is0 baldness and %"at t"e Tora" "as to sa! abo$t it. ! so$rce &or t"is d+ar tora" is 1a+id 2$rzon# %"o is a brilliant st$dent o& Tora"# %"ose %ritings ' am contin$all! im(ressed %it". 3e belongs to a s!nagog$e in 4e% 5or) called Ans"e 2"esed# %"ic" "as a ser+ice called in!an -at at %"ic" members ta)e t$rns in teac"ing t"e Tora". And %"en it came to t"is %ee)# t"e %ee) in %"ic" %e read t"e sedra o& Tazria# no one +ol$nteered. And $nderstandabl! so &or Tazria is to ($t it mildl!# not exactl! t"e most interesting sedra in t"e Tora". 6nless !o$ are a dermatologist# it is "ard to &ind somet"ing o& ! sermon toda! is

addressed to t"e men in t"is congregation# alt"o$g" t"e %omen are %elcome to

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

interest in t"is sedra %"ic" deals in its entirel! %it" s)in diseases and "o% to diagnose t"em. 4o one toda! is reall! +er! s$re %"at -ta"or- means or %"at -tame!means or %"at exactl! %ere t"ese s)in diseases t"at made (eo(le ta"or or tame!($re or im($re--in da!s o& old. B$t %"en no one else +ol$nteered to gi+e a d+ar tora" on Tazria# 1a+id 2$rzon acce(ted t"e assignment. 3e began b! reading t"ro$g" t"e entire sedra. 3e read line a&ter line a&ter line abo$t s)in diseases and ras"es and abo$t "o% t"e )o"en decided %"et"er to declare a (erson tame! or ta"or. T"en "e came $(on t%o +erses t"at made "im sit $( straig"t0 2"a(ter &o$rteen# +erses 48 and 41.And %"en "e loo)ed at t"ese t%o sentences# "e realized t"at all t"ese !ears "e "ad *$st bro%sed t"ro$g" t"is sedra and "ad ne+er noticed %"at it said. 2"a(ter l90 +erses 48 and 4l sa!s0 :'s" )i !imare!t ros"o# )areac" "$# ta"or "$. '& a man loses t"e "air o& "is "ead and becomes bald# "e is clean. :;-im mi(at (ana+ !imore!t ros"o# gibeac" "$# ta"or "$.: '& "e loses "is "air on t"e &ront (art o& "is "ead# "e becomes bald at t"e &ore"ead# "e is clean. And so according to t"e Tora"# baldness is not a disease# baldness is not an illness# baldness is not a (lag$e# and baldness is not a disgrace. 1id !o$ )no% t"at< ' con&ess t"at ' "a+e "eard t"is sedra read in t"e s!nagog$e once a !ear &or man! !ears# and ' ne+er noticed t"at. And so ' s$s(ect t"at !o$ ma! not "a+e noticed it eit"er. B$t "ere it is0 a clear and $ne=$i+ocal statement in t"e Tora" t"at baldness is not an!t"ing to be embarrassed abo$t. >"en 1a+id 2$rzon noticed t"is (assage in t"e Tora"# it reminded "im o& an ex(erience in "is o%n li&e. .ome !ears ago "e %ent &rom 4e% 5or) to A$stralia to +isit "is mot"er. T"at is not an eas! t"ing to do. 3e &le% &or &i+e "o$rs &rom 4e% 5or) to Los Angeles, t"en "e &le% &or ten "o$rs &rom Los Angeles to 3a%aii. 3e

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

&le% &or ten "o$rs &rom 3a%aii to /i*i and t"en "e &le% &rom /i*i to .!dne!# A$stralia. /inall!# "e &le% &rom .!dne! to elbo$rne# got into a taxi and t"en# a&ter &ort! "o$rs o& tra+eling# "e arri+ed at t"e door o& "is mot"er-s "o$se. 3e )noc)ed on t"e door# and s"e o(ened it. T"e! "$gged and t"en s"e loo)ed at "er ex"a$sted son# %"om s"e "ad not seen in o+er t%o !ears# and %"o "ad *$st arri+ed a&ter an ex"a$sting tri(# and s"e said to "im# :1a+id# !o$-re getting bald?: At &irst# 1a+id 2$rzon %as anno!ed t"at t"is %as t"e &irst t"ing t"at s"e co$ld sa! to "im and "e denied t"e c"arge &iercel!. B$t a&ter a %"ile# a&ter &inding cl$m(s o& "air in t"e s"o%er a&ter a s"am(oo# a&ter &inding cl$m(s o& "air on "is br$s" e+er! da! a&ter combing "is "air# "e realized t"at s"e *$st mig"t be rig"t. 3e called "is doctor and as)ed &or a re&erral. T"is %as a man %"o al%a!s re&erred "im to t"e +er! best s(ecialist in t"e &ield %"ene+er "e needed t"em. /or exam(le# "e once "ad a bad co$g" and so t"is doctor recommended "e go see a certain t"roat s(ecialist. 3e %ent to see t"e man and %"en "e got t"ere# "e loo)ed aro$nd t"e %aiting room. T"ere %ere signed ("otogra("s o& t"is doctor &rom "al& a dozen (residents and (rime ministers# se+eral go+ernors o& 4e% 5or) .tate# se+eral ma!ors o& 4e% 5or) 2it!# and most im(ressi+e o& all-t"ere %as a signed ("otogra("# larger t"an all t"e ot"ers# &rom @a+orotti? 2an !o$ imagine going to t"e same t"roat doctor t"at @a+orotti $sed< .o "e )ne% t"at t"is doctor ma)es re&errals onl! to t"e best. And so "e as)ed "is (rimar! care ("!sician to recommend a s(ecialist on baldness and "e did. >"en "e called t"e o&&ice o& t"is s(ecialist# "e ex(lained to t"e secretar! t"at t"is %as an emergenc!# a dire emergenc!# a matter o& li&e and deat"# and so s"e ga+e "im an a((ointment &or t"e +er! next da!. >"en "e got t"ere# t"e doctor examined "is "ead &or a &e% min$tes and t"en "e ga+e "im "is +erdict. 3e

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

said0 :5o$-re getting bald.: T"at-s all "e said. 4o ex(lanations. 4o &anc! medical terms o& t"e )ind t"at doctors $s$all! li)e to $se. 4o tal) o& s$rger!. 4o mention o& ne% dr$gs and c$res t"at %ere abo$t to come on t"e mar)et. 4ot"ing. A$st a t"ree %ord diagnoses0 !o$-re getting bald. :' )no% t"at#: said 1a+id 2$rzon. :>"at-s t"e c$re<: To %"ic" t"e doctor re(lied0 :T"ere isn-t an!. B$t don-t %orr!. A$st get $sed to it.: And %it" t"at t"e doctor closed "is noteboo)# $s"ered "im o$t o& t"e room# s"o%ed "im to t"e cas"ier-s o&&ice %"ere "e %as to (a! t"e bill# and %ent abo$t "is %or) as i& "e "ad not *$st (rono$nced a terrible and terri&!ing +erdict. As i& baldness %ere *$st somet"ing ro$tine t"at one co$ld learn to li+e %it". As i& "e %as not as"amed or embarrassed to admit t"at %it" all t"e incredible (rogress t"at modern medicine "as ac"ie+ed in dealing %it" cancer# Alz"eimers# Aids and ot"er diseases# it is e+identl! com(letel! (o%erless %"en it comes to dealing %it" baldness. '& ' "ad been 1a+id 2$rzon# ' t"in) t"at ' %o$ld "a+e %al)ed o$t o& t"at o&&ice# %ondering to m!sel& %"! t"e &ederal go+ernment gi+es so m$c" mone! &or researc" into "eart disease and cancer and )idne! &ail$re and e+identl! gi+es so little to researc" into baldness# a disease t"at a&&ects man! more (eo(le t"an all t"ese diseases combined. 't *$st isn-t rig"t? And ' t"in) t"at i& ' "ad been 1a+id 2$rzon# ' %o$ld "a+e calmed do%n a&ter a %"ile# and ' %o$ld "a+e bentsc"ed gomel# and t"an)ed Bod t"at ' onl! "ad baldness and not some real disease# and ' %o$ld "a+e gone on m! %a!# slo%l! b$t s$rel! getting $sed to t"e &act t"at ' %as getting bald. And ma!be ' %o$ld "a+e c"osen to go to a s!nagog$e %"ere t"e men %ear big )i(ot instead o& t"e small ones t"at most o& $s %ear "ere in t"is s!nagog$e $ntil ' got $sed to m! ne% sit$ation.

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

1a+id 2$rzon sa!s t"at %"en "e %as assigned to s(ea) on t"e sedra o& Tazria# and "e came across t"is (assage abo$t "o% baldness is not a disease and not a disgrace and t"at t"e (erson %"o "as it is ta"or# "e t$rned to t"e Atz 3a!im commentar! to see %"at it said abo$t Tazria. And t"ese %ere t"e t"ree (oints t"at it made0 1. :T"e biblical mind sa% t"e connection bet%een t"e ("!sical and t"e s(irit$al dimensions o& illness and reco+er! more clearl! t"an %e do toda!.: And "e said to "imsel&0 -t"at-s tr$e?: 4o%ada!s %e seem to "a+e se(arated t"e t%o dimensions o& li&e into t%o se(arate $nconnected de(artments. One (erson# t"e doctor# %or)s %it" mac"iner! and medicines. T"e ot"er (erson# t"e "ealer %or)s %it" (ra!ers and meditations. And neit"er seems to "a+e m$c" contact %it" t"e ot"er. 't is as i& t"e (erson %ere made $( o& t%o $nrelated de(artments-t"e bod! and t"e so$linstead o& being one integrated "$man being. >"o )no%s< so$l. a!be t"e ancients "ad somet"ing in t"eir $nderstanding t"at a "$man being is made $( o& bot" bod! and a!be t"e ex(erience o& being cared &or b! t"e Do"en# %"o %as t"e most (restigio$s (erson in t"e comm$nit!# ma! "a+e made t"e (erson %"o %as s$&&ering &rom illness &eel a sense o& sel&-%ort" and t"at ma! "a+e "el(ed generate t"e "ealing (o%ers %it"in "im. T"at is %"at "a((ened to 1a+id 2$rzon. 3e %as treated b! a (rominent (restigio$s ex(ert and t"at made "im &eel a bit better abo$t "imsel&. B$t t"is doctor "ad no sense and no s!m(at"! &or t"e emotional as(ects o& "is case. 3e onl! cared abo$t t"e ("!sical (roblem. And t"at did not reall! ma)e "im &eel so good. 7. T"e role o& t"e Do"en %as not onl! to diagnose t"e ailment. 't %as to reintegrate t"e (erson bac) into t"e comm$nit!. And t"at# sa!s 1a+id 2$rzon# %as %"at "a((ened to "im. At &irst# %"en "e %al)ed into t"e doctor-s o&&ice# "e &elt li)e a le(er. 3e %anted to a+oid seeing or being seen b! ot"er (eo(le. B$t a&ter "e le&t t"e doctor-s o&&ice# it too) a %"ile b$t e+ent$all! "e began to &eel t"at "e %as not -a

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

bald (erson- b$t rat"er a -"$man being %"o %as bald-# and t"at made a big di&&erence in "o% "e &elt abo$t "imsel&. 9. And t"e t"ird (oint t"at Aits 2"a!im ma)es on t"e sedra o& Tazria is t"at t"e Do"en (er&ormed t"e rit$al %"ic" declares t"e (erson %"o s$&&ered &rom a s)in disease ta"or onl! A/TFR t"e disease "as disa((eared# not be&ore. T"e Do"en is not a magician and "is declaration does not c$re t"e (erson. T"e Do"en is onl! t"e one %"o declares "im c$red and %"o "el(s t"e (erson reintegrate into t"e comm$nit!. And t"is is t"e di&&erence bet%een c$ring and "ealing. 2$ring ends %"en t"e (atient "as o+ercome "is illness. T"e doctor declares +ictor! and goes on to t"e next case %"en t"e (atient-s &e+er goes do%n# %"en "is bod! is able to &$nction# and %"en t"e illness goes a%a!. B$t "ealing onl! starts t"ere? 3ealing begins %"en t"e (atient loo)s "ard at %"at "e "as learned &rom t"is ex(erience and resol+es to li+e di&&erentl!. 3ealing begins %"en t"e (atient sa!s0 -no% ' realize t"at smo)ing or "ard drin)ing is not %ort" t"e "arm t"at it can do-# or %"en t"e (atient sa!s, -no% t"at ' realize t"at ' am mortal# t"is is %"at ' am going to do %it" t"e rest o& m! li&e<: 3ealing is as di&&ic$lt as c$ring and %e need (eo(le %"o can "el( $s do bot" tas)s. T"en 1a+id 2$rzon ends "is meditation on %"at "e "as learned &rom becoming bald %it" t%o (oems. One is &$nn! and t"e ot"er is sad. T"e &irst comes &rom t"e medie+al /renc" (oet# F$stac"e 1esc"am(s# %"o %rote aro$nd t"e !ear 1488. One o& "is (oems re&ers to a ca( made &rom t"e &$r o& t"e marten# a small animal %it" a b$s"! tail. T"is %o$ld not "a+e meant an!t"ing to a modern reader %"o "as ne+er seen a marten. And so "e translated t"e (oem t"is %a!0 5o$ %"o are bald b! accident or t"ro$g"

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

&oible o& nat$re# "ere is %"at to do, i& !o$-+e a bald s(ot# &latten !o$r "air do%n And concentrate on co+ering $( t"e (lace, in %ind# a "at (rotects !o$r cro%n, a comb s"o$ld be )e(t "and!# *$st in case, bring "air at t"e bac) o& t"e "ead &$ll! into (la! i& dignit! re=$ires it &or !o$r &amil!-s sa)e. to o&ten ta)e !o$r "at o&& is a gra+e mista)e, t"e best t"ing is a coon-s)in ca(# '-d sa!. /or i& a coon-s)in ca( is on t"e "ead it )ee(s t"e "air %"ere it s"o$ld rig"tl! be and in t"e %inter t"ere is %armt" instead o& one (oor# &reezing# $n(rotected "ead# And-also-t"ere-ll be no one %"o can see !o$r a&&liction easil!. A man is %ise indeed %"o acts t"is %a!# %"o ma)es a gracio$s (laster "is reso$rce b$t "e-s a &ool %"o &ollo%s anot"er co$rse. t"e best t"ing is a coon-s)in ca(# '-d sa!. 4o%# i& t"e bac) is %"ere !o$ "a+e a s(ot# and# o& t"e red "air in &ront# !o$ "a+e lost none# !o$-ll "a+e to train t"e "air !o$ still "a+e got bac)%ards# and t"en t"e needed %ill be done. >"ene+er !o$ go riding# let t"e (ace be s$c" it %on-t blo% !o$r "air too m$c", %"en !o$ dismo$nt# remo+e !o$r "air %it" care so !o$ don-t s"o% t"e %orld !o$r (lastered "air

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

or else !o$r name %ill be in disarra!. T"e best t"ing is a coon-s)in ca(# '-d sa!. T"at (oem is c"arming and &$nn!. B$t t"en 1a+id 2$rzon decided to end "is d+ar tora" %it" anot"er (oem# one t"at is not so c"arming and not so &$nn!. T"e reason "e did so is beca$se Tazria deals %it" more t"an *$st male baldness. 't deals %it" ot"er s)in diseases and ot"er illnesses# %"ic" do not "a+e =$ite s$c" a "a((! ending. Baldness# as %e "a+e tried to s"o% in t"is sermon# is not so ge&elec"# not so serio$s# &or it is not li&e t"reatening. B$t %"at abo$t t"ose ot"er diseases t"at are tal)ed abo$t in t"e sedra t"at are serio$s# t"at are e+en li&e t"reatening< >"at does t"e Tora" "a+e to sa! abo$t t"ese illnesses< ' t"in) t"at %"at "$man beings %ant most %"en t"e! are b$rdened %it" an illness# aside &rom a c$re and a reco+er!# is some sense o& control# some sense o& being in c"arge o& t"eir li+es. T"e sense o& "el(lessness# t"e sense t"at o$r li+es are not in o$r "ands# b$t in t"e "ands o& a doctor or a (iece o& medical e=$i(ment or a )ind o& medicine# or &ate or Bod or %"ate+er# is terribl! demoralizing# es(eciall! &or t"ose (eo(le %"o "a+e al%a!s (rided t"emsel+es on being in c"arge o& t"eir li+es. @er"a(s t"at is %"at t"e role o& t"e Do"en reall! %as in da!s o& old - to gi+e t"e (atient a sense# not onl! o& being a (art o& t"e comm$nit!# and not onl! o& being "ealed# b$t o& being a (erson# %"o is a (artner in "is or "er o%n medical treatment. And so 1a+id 2$rzon ended "is d+ar tora" %it" a second (oem# one t"at "e %rote &or "is &riend# ic"ele# %"en s"e %as str$ggling %it" cancer# one t"at deals %it" %"at %e are able to control and %"at %e are not able to control0 >"en s"e %as %arned t"e next c"emot"era(! %o$ld ca$se "er to go bald# ic"elle decided to limit t"e loss not $nder "er control.

On BaldnessTazr74 Riemer

3er sisters and ' accom(anied

ic"ele

to t"e c"ic salon %"ere "er long "air %as c$t. T"e s"ort-cro((ed st!le %as bo!is" b$t =$ite smart. >e e+en teased "er. T"en s"e and ' %ent o&& to b$! a %ig %"ile s"e "ad all "er "air. B$t as ic"ele sat tr!ing on a %ig#

not too &ar &rom t"e st!le o& "er ne% c$t# as s"e %as loo)ing in t"e mirror at t"e %ig s"e-s c"osen# s"e began to cr!# and cried m$c" more %it" t"is (oor loss t"an at an! ot"er time--$( to t"e end. ic"ele-s decision# "e sa!s# to "a+e "er s"o$lder-lengt" c$t (rior to c"emot"era(! %as t"e decision o& a rational (erson &acing t"e (ros(ect o& deat" %it" co$rage. T"is is m! sit$ation and t"is is %"at ' %ant to do abo$t it. B$t t"e attem(t to get a sense o& control o+er t"e $ncontrollable "as its limits. And c"anges in t"e bod! o& t"e )ind t"at Tazria is dealing %it"# e+en small c"anges s$c" as baldness# and certainl! more serio$s c"anges and illnesses# can aro$se t"e dee(est anxieties# anxieties %"ic" o$r ancestors &elt too# anxieties %"ic" t"e rit$als and ceremonies t"at t"e Do"en carried o$t in toda!-s sedra# tried to limit and c"annel and control as best t"e! co$ld. T"e la%s o& Tazria ga+e some meas$re o& &orm and str$ct$re and control to (eo(le at a time %"en t"e! &elt t"at t"e! %ere losing control o+er t"eir li+es# and t"at is no small t"ing. And so %e started o$t toda! teasing abo$t baldness and abo$t t"e &act t"at t"ere is little t"at %e can do to control or o+ercome it and %e end $( toda! t"in)ing abo$t t"e ot"er diseases# t"e real diseases# t"e ones t"at t"reaten $s t"at t"ere is also sometimes +er! little t"at %e can do to control or o+ercome. T"e lesson &or

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18

dealing %it" bot" is t"e same. T"e Tora" teac"es $s to t$rn to a s(irit$al mentor and a s(irit$al a$t"orit! in times li)e t"ese# one %"o %ill declare $s -($re- no matter %"at illness %e ma! "a+e# one %"o %ill accom(an! $s t"ro$g" o$t &ears and listen to $s %"en %e are anxio$s# and one %"o %ill bring $s bac) into t"e comm$nit! at t"e end. Tazria# all o& a s$dden# a&ter listening to 1a+id 2$rzon-s insig"ts# and t"in)ing abo$t t"em# becomes# not a tri+ial sedra o& interest onl! to dermatologists as %e ma! "a+e t"o$g"t# b$t a %ise and "eartening sedra &or all t"ose o& $s %"o are ill or %"o %ill someda! be ill-in ot"er %ords# &or all o& $s. and ta)e t"em to "eart. a! %e listen to its insig"ts