Pain, Sharp WordsTazr274 Radinsky

TARZR274

TORAH-FAX 5774 TAZRIA

PAIN, SHARP WORDS & FORGIVENESS BY RABBI JOSEPH RADINSKY
In the Torah portion, Tazria, we earn a!o"t #hi d!irth, and we earn a!o"t the di$$erent r" es and re%" ations o$ a wo&an a$ter #hi d!irth' We a so earn a!o"t #ir#"&#ision' In $a#t, !ased on a (erse in this Torah portion, we earn that #ir#"&#ision has to !e on the ei%hth day, and that it o(errides e(en Sha!!at' The )"estion has !een asked &any ti&es, why is it that this Torah portion is not #a ed *esha, wo&an+ A$ter a , the $irst &ost si%ni$i#ant word in this Torah portion is the word *esha, or wo&an' Instead, this Torah portion is #a ed Tazria, whi#h &eans, ,when she wi #on#ei(e', A so, why are these r" es o$ #hi d!irth stated ri%ht !e$ore we earn a!o"t eprosy+ This eprosy was not the disease whi#h we #a today eprosy' It was a spirit"a disease whi#h #a&e "pon a person prin#ipa y !e#a"se he spoke i a!o"t others' -e %ossiped and spread stories a!o"t other peop e' -e said thin%s he sho" d not ha(e said' In the aws o$ #hi d!irth, we earn how a wo&an had to !rin% a !"rnt o$$erin% when she #a&e to the Ta!erna# e 4. days a$ter %i(in% !irth to a !oy and /. days a$ter a %ir 0 and a so a sin o$$erin%' The ra!!is ask, why did she ha(e to !rin% a sin o$$erin%+ A$ter a , ha(in% a !a!y is a (ery %reat &itz(ah' It is the $irst &itz(ah in the Torah, and in 1"dais&, se2 is not #onsidered to !e a #on#ession to the $ esh, or a sin' It is #onsidered a !i% &itz(ah' The ra!!is e2p ain that the reason she had to !rin% a sin o$$erin%, and yo" #o" d on y !rin% a sin o$$erin% i$ yo" did thin%s "nwittin% y, is !e#a"se d"rin% the ti&e she was pre%nant and espe#ia y d"rin% #hi d!irth, she wo" d say thin%s she rea y did not &ean' They were ike "nwittin% state&ents, !"t her pain &ade her say a sorts o$ thin%s that she wo" d ater re%ret' A$ter a , &ornin% si#kness is not

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p easant, and the ast $ew &onths o$ pre%nan#y $or so&e wo&en are so di$$i#" t !e#a"se they #an hard y &o(e' 3$ #o"rse, the pain o$ #hi d!irth is e2#r"#iatin%' 4e#a"se o$ these thin%s, she &ay ha(e said a sorts o$ thin%s to her h"s!and whi#h she did not &ean, ike, ,I wi ne(er et yo" to"#h &e a%ain', 4e#a"se she is "nhappy, she wi a##"se hi& o$ a sorts o$ thin%s, or &ay!e she wi !e terri! y short with hi&, et#' -e has to "nderstand this, and he sho" d $or%i(e her $or these state&ents, 5"st as 67d, too, wi a%ainst -i& d"rin% this ti&e' The reason the Torah portion does not start o"t with the word ,wo&an, is !e#a"se it is not on y wo&en who wi say thin%s when they are "nhappy' We a know that in periods o$ %reat #han%e, we say &any thin%s we do not &ean !e#a"se o$ tensions' *(en in o"r sh" , we ha(e had &any #han%es and peop e ha(e said thin%s that they did not &ean' We sho" d earn to $or%et a!o"t these words and to &o(e on' That8s why we earn a!o"t eprosy i&&ediate y a$ter the #hi d!irth !e#a"se it was !ro"%ht on !y oose ta k' 67d #a"sed this eprosy to o##"r, !"t -e wo" d re&o(e it when the person rea ized that he did not ha(e to en%a%e in this type o$ oose ta k' 9"rio"s y, when the Torah says that a person is tota y #o(ered with this disease, he is p"re and not "n# ean, !e#a"se o!(io"s y what he said was &eant 5"st as a 5oke' *(ery!ody #o" d see that these words were not to !e taken serio"s y' It is when a person8s words appear deeper than they are or they re(ea a raw ner(e that he is de# ared to !e a eper' We know that this disease on y o##"rred in Israe when the 1ews were at an e e(ated state' The 1ewish re ationship with 67d was a spirit"a re ationship0 5"st as a &arria%e is a spirit"a re ationship predo&inant y, and we ha(e to &ake s"re that we &aintain the spirit"a )"a ity o$ this re ationship' $or%i(e her $or any state&ents she has &ade

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In $a#t, we earn in the Torah portion, ;aso that when the 1ewish peop e #o&p eted the Ta!erna# e it says, ,And it was on the day that <oshe $inished to ere#t the Ta!erna# e', Rashi, tho"%h, #o&&ents that the word =a os &eans that the day the Ta!erna# e was #o&p eted, the 1ewish peop e were ike a !ride enterin% the #h"pa' Why does a yo"n% #o"p e %et &arried "nder a #h"pa+ 3ne reason is that the #o"p e re&e&!er that their &arria%e is si&i ar to the &arria%e that 67d has with the 1ewish peop e' 1"st as the 1ewish peop e re#ei(ed the Torah when the <o"nt o$ Sinai was he d o(er their head, so the yo"n% #o"p e %ets &arried with a #h"pa o(er their head' 3ne o$ the reasons %i(en why there are di$$erent periods en"&erated a$ter a wo&an %i(es !irth is !e#a"se d"rin% the $irst se(en days, she needs to &ake pea#e with herse $ and her new #ondition' There is so&ethin% #a ed post part"& ! "es, whi#h #an !e de(astatin%' The ei%hth day, i$ she has a !oy, she on#e a%ain re"nited, so to speak, with her $a&i y, with her new son and h"s!and, and at the end o$ the $ortieth day, she 5oins the #o&&"nity' The period is do"! ed i$ she had a %ir !e#a"se %ir s are i&portant, too' She and her h"s!and sho" d not $ee they ha(e to i&&ediate y prod"#e a !oy' The who e re ationship !etween a h"s!and and wi$e is to &aintain a spirit"a e(e , whi#h &eans that words are i&portant, too, !e#a"se words #an da&a%e spirit"a ity' At the !ris or !a!y na&in%, we ! ess the yo"n%ster !y sayin%, ,<ay he or she %row "p to a i$e o$ Torah, #h"pa, and %ood deeds', Why do we say #h"pa in the &idd e+ A$ter a , a person wo" d do %ood deeds !e$ore the #h"pa' <ost peop e do not %et &arried "nti they are in their 2.8s' The answer is that it is &any ti&es hard to "nderstand a!o"t the ne#essity o$ doin% %ood deeds "nti one is &arried' 3ne o$ the reasons the ra!!is tea#h "s 67d #reated &arria%e is so we #o" d do 9hesed e(ery day to ea#h other' It is hard to do kindness i$ yo" are not &arried' >o" ha(e to !e there $or yo"r spo"se e(ery day' Interestin% y, a so, there are two words $or 5oy in -e!rew, Si&#ha and Sos' Sos re$ers to the 5oy o$ the past' So&eti&es, we say we re5oi#e at a !ris "sin% the word Sos !e#a"se we are

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happy the !a!y was !orn, !"t we re$er to a !ris a so as a si&#ha and a weddin% as a si&#ha !e#a"se we are ookin% to the $"t"re' Si&#ha &eans the 5oy we e2pe#t to %et in the $"t"re !e#a"se we ha(e &aintained a hi%h spirit"a e(e ' We read a!o"t #hi d!irth and $a&i y responsi!i ities !e#a"se we ha(e to re&e&!er that to ha(e this $"t"re, we &"st speak ni#e y to ea#h other' We &"st not on y o(e ea#h other, !"t &"st e2press this o(e in $ittin% an%"a%e' I a& re&inded o$ the story they te a!o"t a wo&an who #o&p ained to her &other, ,<y !oy$riend is spendin% so &"#h &oney on &e' I $ee !ad a!o"t it' I want hi& to stop', -er &other rep ied, ,<arry hi&', We know that this sho" d not !e the #ase' We sho" d a want to share and do thin%s $or ea#h other thro"%ho"t o"r &arried i$e "sin% $ittin% words' I a& a so re&inded o$ a story they te a!o"t a !oy who went to -o ywood' -e %ot a !i% part in a &o(ie' -e #a ed his $ather and said, ,?addy, I %ot a part in the &o(ies, and I8& p ayin% a h"s!and 5"st ike yo"', -is $ather said, ,3h, son, I a& (ery disappointed', -is son asked why' -is $ather rep ied, ,4e#a"se I was hopin% yo" wo" d %et a speakin% part', @et "s a hope and pray that we wi a "se %ood an%"a%e' -owe(er, i$ we s ip and do not !e#a"se o$ pain and s"$$erin%, ike a wo&an has to end"re d"rin% her pre%nan#y, et "s !e "nderstandin% and $or%i(e ea#h other, e(en as 67d $or%i(es' We ha(e to re&e&!er that when we #o&e "nder press"re, we say a sorts o$ thin%s we rea y do not &ean' @et "s hope we wi "nderstand this, that we wi !e a! e to #reate pea#e$" #o&&"nities, so that the <ashia#h wi