Randy Lamb March 7, 2014

Grant Bangerter English 1010

Midterm Portfolio
Introduction This is my midterm portfolio. This assignment is to show off how far we have come from the beginning of class in January. We have only been in class for eight weeks and it is amazing how much I have learned about writing. I have even noticed how I have started to think rhetorically in other classes that I am currently taking. The rhetorical thinking process has opened me up to new ways of thinking about things we read. In the following sections you will be able to see the changes I have made in my writing.

Section 1 Rhetorical Self Analysis As I started to analyze my self and the papers that we have written, I started to think about the background I have with English classes. My troubles in this subject started in 7th grade. My English teacher had a serious problem with a friend of mine and myself. Maybe we talked too much, but what he did to us changed my life forever. I sat at my desk when my friend asked me a question, I responded to him. I was quickly stopped as a hand grabbed the back of my neck, lifted me off my desk, and then a kicked me in the rear. I was dragged down to the principals office, where I sat for several hours. My dad came from work to pick me up and took me home. My parents were furious; we will just say that the teacher didnt have a job for very long after that. After that experience I hated English classes.

I had average grades until I had a history and math teacher take me under their wing. They inspired me, and made school exciting. My best subjects were History and Math. One of the first papers I ever wrote was for that history class on the fall of communism in the Soviet Union. The research that I had to do for that assignment became fun and interesting to me. Even though I did do very well in high school, I still struggled with English. I have put off taking any English classes in college until now. The only reason I am taking them is that I need them to graduate. Its not that I dont think I will do good in them, but I still have a sour taste for English classes. When I think of English teachers all I see is that teacher who grabbed me and kicked me out of his class. Now that you know my academic history, you will be able to understand how I think. This class has been a challenge for me, in respect that I am not comfortable with English. A wise man once told me that when we are uncomfortable, we would learn and grow the most. That is one of the reasons I decided to take this class, so that I can grow. Some of the ways that I think is with logic and facts; this is from having History and Math being my favorite subjects. As we have been doing our assignments I have noticed that I look for those two things. My favorite assignment in this class so far has been the rhetorical analysis of a political cartoon. I chose one that had an elephant and a donkey looking off an unfinished bridge looking down the fiscal cliff. They were proud of what they had done with legislation that would raise the spending limit. I liked this cartoon because of frustrations I have with the government spending money that we do not have. Looking at this cartoon

rhetorically, it came to life for me. I started to see how the cartoonist was trying to deliver his/her message. Even the smallest parts of this cartoon had meaning to me. When I wrote the analysis for this assignment I started with why I would choose this cartoon and gave credit to the artist. By doing this I was showing how I felt about the issue of the national debt. I used the words consequence and remorse to strengthen my position on the subject. As I started to analyze the cartoon, I began with what the first appearance was. This is the instant message that you see when you first glance at the cartoon. This was the two cartoon animals that are proud of building a bridge to keep them from falling off a cliff, when in reality the inevitable still is there. They will eventually fall off the cliff collapsing the government. In this first paragraph I wanted my audience to know who were the elephant and donkey are, so I stated what political party they represented. Throughout the rest of the paper, I went through and tried to explain how the artist presented each piece of this cartoon. I wanted to make my audience understand each Item and how the artist made this cartoon come to life for me. My goal was to make who ever read my paper see what I saw in this cartoon. Towards the end of the paper, I tried to emphasize the position of the bridge and how easy it would be for it to collapse. I referred to a popular cartoon, the Road Runner. I wanted the audience to visualize the cliff collapsing just like what happens to the coyote. In my final draft I added a picture of Wile E. Coyote standing on a falling cliff to add more visualization.

Throughout the assignment I tried to add a little humor to a very serious problem. I felt that was important because the artist used humor in the cartoon. The use of humor is an important method in the delivery of the message of the cartoon. At the end of this assignment I wrote a conclusion that complimented the first of the paper. The intention was that you would see this cartoon in a different way than you did at the beginning of the paper. My goal was that you would understand more of what the artists intentions were for this cartoon. Another assignment that I enjoyed was the one that we analyzed an article. This one made me think of how an author tries to present their articles to us. I choose the article Spies use Angry Birds and other apps to track people, documents say. This article plays on fear of what our government is doing to access our personal information. As I analyzed this article I tried to continue the fear that the original author was playing on. I liked this article because technology is important in all of our lives. We use it everywhere, at school, at work, at home, and with everything we do daily. However it has made our lives less private. I want my audience to realize how technology has changed us and how easy it would be for someone or even our government to access information. My intentions for this assignment were to help my audience see what the author is writing about. I also wanted to add credibility to the authors message. He named several credible resources so I tried to put those into my analysis. My audience would read these resources and believe what the author is writing. The next part of this paper I want my audience to think about what apps they use daily. Thinking about the apps that you use, I want you to see what the author is writing

and why. The author is warning us about the dangers of what information our phones can give. Just by accessing Google maps the government would be able to tell right where you are. In my paper I pass that message along to you. Be careful of what you do with your phone. During the conclusion I restated how the author uses fear to deliver his/her message to us. The author wants us to be scared of what the government can do with our information. After taking this class I have started to like English. This class has made me think deeper into the text that we read. I have learned a lot about rhetorical thinking and writing. I am excited to learn more. After all these years of hating English classes, I have finally started to enjoy it. My goal is to forget about 7th grade English, and make it a strong subject for me. Thinking about those words from that wise man, I have been uncomfortable with this class. As I have been uncomfortable I have grown and learned a lot.

Section 2 Earlier Paper Political Cartoon Analysis My biggest pet peeve in politics is how much the government spends without remorse or consequence. We have been spending so much money on things that we do not need too, especially in the last fifteen years. If there is no change in our countries spending, we most likely will spend ourselves into oblivion. I looked for a cartoon that would depict the feelings that I have about the national debt. I

found this one by Lisa Cror (I believe that is her last name) that was in the Washington Post on November 29, 2012. This cartoon illustrates exactly the way I feel about this situation. At first glance you see a donkey and an elephant standing on an unfinished bridge looking down. Of course the donkey symbolizes the Democratic Party and the elephant represents the Republican Party. Both of them are standing as equals looking down off the bridge. The artist is trying to make you realize that each party is equal in fault to this major crisis. The elephant has a balloon coming from him saying; It is a Work in Progress. Looking at both of these cartoon animals you get the feeling that they are pleased with the work that they have done, while trying to overcome the cliff. Both appear to be looking down realizing how high they have gone up. As a reader you would realize that both parties are responsible for how much debt our country is in and the only solutions the government can come up with is to keep spending more money. The two cartoon animals are standing on a make shift bridge that is made out of smaller pieces, or their works in progress. Written on a sign above the bridge it states, Short-Term Solutions. The intent of this sign is to show you exactly what the bridge is made of, legislation built on Short-Term Solutions. The bridge that they are building is going nowhere. The artist would like to show that no matter how much legislation we add to this bridge, nothing is going to get us back to normal grounds. We need to change how we look at our debt and find solutions to get back off the bridge and back on to normal ground. However, looking at the elephant and the donkey, they are focused on going the other way and not looking back at the normal ground.

The artist used a green sign, like the one you would find on a freeway. This makes you think that they are on a fast road, going nowhere. As they continue on this freeway, they will eventually fall off if they continue going as fast as they are. The cliff is where the bridge is being built. It is labeled Fiscal Cliff, showing that they are at the end of the land they have. The grass is green on the cliff where it is stable fiscally. Where they are there is no grass, symbolizing that there is nothing to take from to keep the country going. I guess the grass is greener on the other side; we just need to figure out how to get back there. I dont know if this is intentional or not, but the cliff looks like a hand being stretched out. I have the feeling that even the fiscal hand was stretched out, even pass what it should have been. The bridge is being built on the part that has been stretched out. The placement of the bridge is probably the most important message of them all. The bridge ends at the same spot where the cliff ends; this means we are still at the end of the cliff, only more in debt than we should be. If you have ever seen the Roadrunner cartoons, the smallest things would break off the narrow part of the cliff and it would fall, with a tragic end to the coyote. The placement of the bridge is on that thin narrow piece of land where any natural disaster could collapse the bridge causing it to tragically fall of the cliff. At the top, the Sky is blue fading to white. The colors used make you think there is nothing after that point where the two cartoon animals are. The colors for the sky are a good choice to show emptiness, which is where Americas pocket book will be, empty!

The artist did a good job in portraying her feelings on the national debt. It shows how even though the Republicans and the Democrats do nothing but fight, they still are both responsible for the mess we are in. It makes you realize even though we are not bankrupt as a country, we are still far above the fiscal cliff. No matter how many quick solutions they use to continue the bridge of debt, we still are going nowhere and will eventually fall into nothing. Congress needs to get together and find solutions other than spending more money. If only the donkey and the elephant would turn around, realize how far they have gone, and work together they could possibly return to fiscal ground. If they dont, the next cartoon will show them falling off the bridge into oblivion with a balloon saying Ooops.

Section 3 Peer Responses Peer responses have been a difficult thing to give and also receive. I have found it difficult to find errors in other peoples papers. I also do not want to cut them down or hurt their feelings. It is also difficult to put your heart and soul in a paper and then have someone tell you what is wrong with what you wrote. However, criticism has helped me improve on my writings, whether I gave it our received it. I give criticism the way I learned as a manager. We call it the sandwich method. The first layer is good, try to connect with the situation or give personal experience. The second layer is the meat, this is where you tell what is wrong and give ways to correct it. The last layer is to give praise and encouragement. The first peer response that I would like to look at is one that I gave. Our assignment was a literacy event, we had to select something that inspired us and why. I

reviewed this paper that was written by Amber Davis. She wrote about the Martin Luther King Jr. speech and how it affected her family. With her paper I felt she did a good job, however I felt that she needed to expand on a few things to make the flow smoother. Your paper made me think about my time in Panama as a LDS missionary. I served in an area that was called Colon. A slave shipped crashed there in the 1800's. The slaves had an uprising where the killed their white masters and built a town. They hate white people a lot. When I entered this town with my Latin companion, you should have seen the glares I would get from the towns people. Since we were some of the first American missionaries to go into Panama, after the Noriega thing, I was the first white man many of these people had seen in years. It was weird to me to be a victim of racism. I agree with Martin Luther King Jr., for the fact that all men should be free. A few things that I think might help your paper to flow better is to introduce your brothers story with why his story reminds you of Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech, then tell his story. After which restate why they are similar. As I was reading I got a little lost on why your brothers story was being compared to the speech. Also there are a couple of spelling errors in the last paragraph. I feel bad for your brother and hope that you and your family can continue to give him on going support. He is going to need it. I also admire that you have taught your children about why people are homeless and what they can do to help them. It has inspired me to do the same thing with my kids. I hope that my kids will realize that they are not bad people, but people that need a little extra help. The second peer response is one I gave to Braden Sten. Our assignment was to

pick a political cartoon and give a rhetorical analysis of it. I really liked his cartoon; it was about gun control and how hard it would be for the government to control it. His analysis was very good. I tried to help him with what a lot of people were having a problem with that week. Many of the students didnt realize that you would have to edit what they posted into canvas to make it look good. That was the only criticism that I had for him. I really like your cartoon. I am an avid gun shooter. I try to get out at least once a week to shoot my 9mm or my bow. Next to fishing it is one of my favorite pass times. It makes me sick to think that our guns could be taken away from us by force if only one piece of legislation would pass. The government is trying so hard to get them from us because they want control. How much more control do they need to have over us. We are heading in a bad direction. The reason I liked the cartoon you chooses is it shows that we as America still have the power to go and shop for a gun but that it could be taken from us. I don't have much to criticize about your paper other than the appearance. It does not look like a college paper. Take the extra couple of minutes and edit it in canvas. If you get rid of all the unwanted spaces from cutting and pasting it will look a lot better. I think you did a great on the job at hand you delivered your message well in describing the cartoon. Keep up the great work. I received this peer response from Marrisa Rejali. Even though this was one that gave me a lot of criticism, I felt that I learned from it and tried to change my final draft to a better paper. Our assignment was to give a rhetorical self-analysis of papers we had

written in the past. When I started to write this assignment, it made me think of all the problems that I have with English. It took me back to an experience that I had in 7th grade English. I felt to share this experience to show how I think. This response that I got showed me some of the issues that I had and needed to change to improve my paper. I am grateful for criticism like this, even though it is hard to read sometimes. This essay is written very clearly, and flows very well. I think that you did an excellent job articulating yourself, and the fact that you had a hard time with writing as a subject in school seems unrealistic in how easily you are able to share your ideas by writing. The task at hand was to write about the rhetorical analysis you used in something that you had previously written, although I enjoyed reading your entire essay, I feel as though much of it could be condensed, as well as a few stray ideas... Please allow me to elaborate: The introduction to this essay is really insightful, I feel like the background knowledge that you provided really plays into the emotion of your reader, leaving room for personal reflection from the audience. However, the length of your preface is about 5 paragraphs long, and I think that it takes away from the main task of the assignment. One suggestion that I would have to effectively condense this section would be to organize the subject in which most relates to the picture you are trying to paint for you reader. You first talk about how the teacher of your 7th grade English class had great impact on you by throwing you out of class, and then sort of jump to these other influential teachers that helped you on your path... Both of these points are clearly understood, I just feel like there is too much information in this introduction, especially when you started talking

about interviewing for a grant, it just seems a bit irrelevant to the main story you are trying to tell. I understand that you keep referencing the people from your introduction throughout the body of your essay, but it might be easier for your reader to keep up with all of your ideas if you stick to one or two. Besides these things, I really liked your writing... It can be hard for methodical writers like yourself to not elaborate on every detail that seems important to you, I often have this problem and usually end up writing too much at first, and having to go back and edit the less important parts out to remain on-topic. Just remember that sometimes less is more, describing a few details in depth can be much greater than talking a little about a lot. The last peer review is from Carly Gartrell, I chose this peer response because it shows how I think with logic and facts. The assignment was to find a political cartoon and analyze it rhetorically. I found a cartoon that I really liked. When I was analyzing it I found more meaning to it than first appearance. Through my writing I was able to help my reader understand the cartoon more. I like that you chose this cartoon to analyze I had a hard time choosing one and this one was on my list so I am happy to see it on here. I too had problems editing my post to make it look normal it appears a lot of people had trouble with that. However to me your paper looks very put together at first glance. As I read through the paper it was hard to find any mistakes and it felt really easy to read and very interesting. I feel that you stayed right with the task at hand and explained very well how the message the artist was conveying was delivered. Your attention to the detail of this cartoon is wonderful. When I first looked at

the cartoon I got the meaning but I didnt look as deep into it as you did. You picked out every possible item that helped in the delivery of the message. Im so glad I got to read your post it really helps me to know how I need to change my writing to make it better for my final draft. I think that your thesis statement and conclusion could go together a little bit better but after reading such a good analysis of this cartoon I dont think it makes a huge difference. Good Job!

Section 4 Rhetorical Analysis of a Text Spies use Angry Birds and other apps to track people, documents show This is an article on how the government uses our phones to spy on us. Through out the article the author gives you a sense of fear in certain government agencies, such as the NSA and Britains GCHQ. The article was posted on January 27, 2014 on CBSs website. The author is not credited in the article. The article is about a document that was released by Edward Snowden, who is a former NSA contactor. In the document it tells how the NSA uses certain apps to collect information about people. They are able to obtain information by a technique called worming. The NSA and GCHQ are able to worm into the programing of certain apps and collect critical information about; whom you are friends with, what is your location, and what type of items you buy off the Internet. They would also be able to find out information about what sex you are and your sexual orientation.

The apps that are mentioned in the article are Angry Birds, Facebook, and Google maps. All of these apps contain information that can be used by the NSA and GCHQ. These agencies claim that they only collect information that they are allowed to by law. The article says that Facebook, Google, and Rovio have not responded to these allegations. As smart phones become more popular in our society, they also become more vulnerable. There are approximately one billion smart phones on earth. Angry Birds alone has been downloaded about 1.7 billion times since its release. That is a lot of information that can be retrieved from just one app! As you first look at this article, it starts with a title; Spies use Angry Birds and other apps to track people, documents show. The title is bold and larger than the rest of the text. It catches your eye, making you want to read more. The words Spies and Angry Birds are capitalized. This draws you in thinking about the popularity of Angry Birds and how spies would be able to obtain information from that app. Lets face it what smart phone has not had Angry Birds installed on to it at one point or another. Just by mentioning this popular app sparks your interest in the article and how the government is spying on you. Another first glance that you can see before you start to read the article, is a picture of Angry Birds. As a reader, the first thing you see would be the title of the article and then the picture of the Angry Birds app. The author is trying spark the curiosity of his/her audience so that they will read the article all the way through. The first part of the article establishes credibility to what the author is writing about. It mentions Edward Snowden, who recently has been in the news about releasing controversial documents about the NSA. As you read on you will notice popular

newspapers like The New York Times, The Guardian, and ProPublica adding creditability to the article. Giving creditability, the author makes the article more believable and trusted to the reader. Now that you have been drawn into the article, because of the use of Angry Birds, the author mentions other popular apps that most people use daily. Some of the mentioned apps make you start to think about what kind of information they could collect from your phone. Think about Google Maps, the government would be able to know where you are at, where you a have been, and where you are going just by looking at the information it would provide. Facebook is another big app that could give information about what you say, whom you are friends with, and just about any other information that you put onto your page. A few years ago there was a scare about posting where you were on Facebook, because anyone with access to your page could know they could rob your house. The government is no different. The author again is playing on the fear of what information they could collect from just your phone. The intended audience for this article is anyone who has ever downloaded an app to their phone, or other electronic device. Think to yourself, who do you know that has not downloaded an app? As technology gets more sophisticated, it is easier for more and more people to have it in their possession. That means the author wants everyone to read this article and be warned. In a paragraph placed halfway through the article, the author paints a mental image of a cartoon. This image is about a smirking fairy conjuring up a tottering pile of papers over a table marked "LEAVE TRAFFIC HERE. After which the author explains that the artist of the cartoon is saying that gathering information is easier than we think it

is. The author of the article uses this mental cartoon to help you visualize how easy it would be for the government to obtain information. The government could easily access any number of databases where information is stored and look at what is stored there. Strategically placed is a quote from the NSA saying; Any implication that NSA's foreign intelligence collection is focused on the smartphone or social media communications of everyday Americans is not true." After which it was followed by another statement; "We collect only those communications that we are authorized by law to collect for valid foreign intelligence and counterintelligence purposes - regardless of the technical means used by the targets." The author tries to give the point of view of the NSA to give contrast to the article. By doing this he gives the government opportunity to respond to the allegations of Snowden, but it also gives a more controversial point of view to his audience. By stating that the government and other app creators did not want to respond to the allegations, the audience begins to create doubt in the use of these apps. The author tries to emphasize his concern by giving facts, such as how Angry Birds has been downloaded so many times. By giving this fact, the audience thinks about how much information could be obtained each time it is added to someones phone. At the end of the article the author quotes Edward Snowden who is responsible for the controversial documents. He said, Not all spying is bad. He mentions that we need to use spying to keep us safe, but the mass collection of data is doing more harm than good. The author is assuring us of the need for spying, however tries to outrage us about how much data they are collecting and why. This article has a very interesting and controversial message about being careful of what we do with our phones. The author does a great job on delivering their message

by playing on the fears of their audience and giving doubt to our government agencies. Lastly they make you think twice about playing Angry Birds or looking at Facebook.

This article can be found at this web address: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/spies-useangry-birds-and-other-apps-to-track-people-documents-show/

Conclusion As I gathered information about my writings for this assignment, I realized how far I have come in just a few weeks. This has been a challenging class for me. I have learned and grown a lot thanks to the assignments that we have been working on. I never have looked at things rhetorically before, and it has opened my mind to more and new ways of thinking.