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Alex Lefkowitz Life History Interview

2/21/14

The Life History Project I suspect was originally intended to promote the exploration of a culture outside of America for example, South African culture. For my Life History Project, however, I did not explore a culture that started outside of the United States. Rather, I chose to explore the homosexual culture. To conduct this exploration I chose to interview my longtime friend Brent Moosman. Brent is 67 years old, homosexual, and runs a very successful business. Brent and I talk from time to time, usually about school, life, or other pleasantries, but when I learned of this Life History Project, I realized that I have never actually had a discussion with him about his homosexuality. The reason for this, I think, is because I never really thought of his homosexuality as being something that merited discussion. In my eyes, homosexuality is something as natural as hair color, and thus warrants no special consideration or discussion. Unfortunately, the majority of the world does not see it this way, and homosexuality and gay rights are hot topics these days. To put it another way, this Life History Project prompted me to think about homosexuality in a new light and as a separate culture. Because of this, I decided I wanted to learn about the homosexual culture; what it is like to be gay, especially in Utah. Naturally, my first thought was to interview Brent. Luckily, he was very receptive to the idea. So, after about a week of scheduling, canceling, and rescheduling interview times because of his busy schedule I sat down with Brent and had a great interview about his experiences as a homosexual man. Brent was eager to share information, and I was genuinely interested in what he had to say, so the interview lasted about two hours. As I mentioned earlier, I believe that homosexuality should not be an issue. However, this does not mean that I am ignorant of the, rather common, negative public opinion of homosexuals, especially in Utah. Despite this, I made an attempt to keep my opinion on

Alex Lefkowitz Life History Interview

2/21/14

homosexuality out of the interview so that Brent could give me his most unbiased answers. The majority of my interview with Brent was about his life experiences growing up as a homosexual man in Utah. To be frank, much of what he had to say about his youth was rather discouraging. Being raised as a member of the Mormon religion, for example, Brent said he constantly scolded himself for being homosexual, and often tried to turn straight. To be sure, Brents conflict between religion and homosexuality was the primary source of misery and depression for most of his youth. In fact, Brent did not fully accept his sexuality and become openly gay until he was 30 years old. To me, the lack of understanding from others and resulting pain that Brent had to suffer is utterly shocking. I deeply sympathize for the hardships Brent has endured because of his sexuality. When Brent openly announced his homosexuality, he also denounced his faith in the Mormon religion. As a result, Brents family withdrew most of their relationships with him. Despite this, Brent said he is not bitter towards his family or the Mormon religion, which rather surprised me. To be sure, Brents acceptance and understanding of other people, despite their hatred of him, is purely amazing. Brent and I discussed his compassion in further detail, and I was surprised to learn that the hatred he has suffered is actually the reason he is so kind. In his words: Theres no reason for malice. Ive experienced it, and I didnt like it, so why would I perpetuate it? To me, these are truly inspiring words, and exemplify how we should live our lives with complete respect for others. However, Brent cautioned me that his kindness is not representative of the entire homosexual community. This is because homosexual culture, unlike other cultures, is not really set in stone. In other words, homosexual culture is merely the collection of a multitude of

Alex Lefkowitz Life History Interview

2/21/14

individuals who share the commonality of being gay. Each person has his/her personal opinions, and there is not a standardized way of thinking or standardized way of living that is followed as homosexual culture. This notion may seem rather obvious, but I think that because we as a society categorize homosexuals, we sometimes think that they are all the same. However, as Brent reminds us, each homosexual person is as individualistic as any other person on this planet. In fact, Brent admits that he finds many homosexual men to be very aggravating, and that the majority of his friends are actually heterosexual. I think this is very interesting because it shows that contrary to what some may believe being homosexual does not instantly create camaraderie between two people. To say it a different way, the intercultural connection that we might think homosexuals share, simply because they are homosexual, may not be as strong as we originally thought. Brent is now 67, and says that the self-consciousness and worry of what others thought of him that prevailed in his youth is now completely gone. Nowadays, his experiences being different are mostly positive or nonexistent. However, this does not mean that he no longer experiences adversity for being homosexual. Rather, he no longer dwells on trying to fit in. In fact, Brent says he faces about the same amount of adversity in Utah today that he did as a kid which I find very disheartening but that the difference is in his attitude. As a business owner, he says that his homosexuality sometimes hinders, or even eliminates business opportunities. But, Brent says he does not worry about it, and simply moves on. What Brent does worry about, however, are equal legal rights. Being identified as a homosexual man, especially in Utah, Brent says he loathes the fact that he does not have the same legal rights as everyone else. The inability to be married to his partner, for example, is a constant stressor because he worries about what will happen to his assets and estate if he or his partner should pass away. On the one hand, a heterosexual couple

Alex Lefkowitz Life History Interview

2/21/14

does not have to worry about this because their assets will pass from one partner to the other. On the other hand, a homosexual couple that is not married may lose their assets to the state. In short, Brent says that he no longer cares about what people think of him, but that he does care deeply about having equal legal rights. To be honest, this difference in legal rights is a stressor of being homosexual that I never even considered. As if the judgment attained by being homosexual isnt bad enough, it is very sad to know that Brent also has to deal with monetary stressors because of his sexual orientation. When I asked if the dance and music culture of homosexuals is different from that of heterosexuals, Brent lightheartedly responded by saying that gays know how to party. It is not to say that homosexuals engage in a different type of dance or music than the status quo, but that they, generally, are more energetic than others are. Brent also believes that homosexuals tend to be very sensual in their dancing, and are at the forefront of embracing sexuality. However, he also thinks that many homosexuals take it too far, and actually hurt the credibility of homosexuals by being overly flamboyant. Gay pride parades, for example, are events where Brent thinks that homosexuals hurt their credibility by being too showy and explicit. In addition, I asked Brent if there were any language barriers or issues when communicating with heterosexuals. Personally, I expected him to protest against the use of the word gay, or fag in modern culture, but he did no such thing. Instead, he said that the words do not offend him, though he knows homosexual people that do get offended. In response to the question of if there are language barriers, he said, of course not, its not like were from different countries. Overall, my interview with Brent was great, and I gained a lot of insight into what it is like living as a homosexual person in Utah. In particular, I was surprised by the level of suffering that Brent endured while growing up as a homosexual man in the Mormon religion. I have always known that homosexual people face adversity in their youth, especially when it comes to

Alex Lefkowitz Life History Interview

2/21/14

the Mormon religion and Utah, but I had no idea just how extreme that adversity actually is. In part, I think my ignorance stems from the fact that my generation tends to be very accepting of homosexual people, thus causing me to underestimate the degree to which they are segregated. It really opened my eyes to learn that, even today, homosexual people face a tremendous amount of adversity. In other words, the knowledge of Brents suffering because of his homosexuality changed my understanding of how accepted homosexuality really is. Indeed, it makes me feel very privileged that I am not condemned for being heterosexual. To put it another way, I feel very privileged that I am not condemned for something I have no control over. I was also very impressed by the lack of resentment Brent fosters. I think that there is a great lesson in morality to be learned in this, and that the world be a lot better off if we followed Brents example. Similarly, I was surprised by the monetary stress that Brent suffers because he is unable to get married. In short, I never thought that gay marriage had implications beyond the emotional joy of being married. To be sure, the monetary stress that Brent endures increased my awareness of the importance of gay marriage. In addition, I think that one of the most important takeaways we can gain from my interview with Brent is that homosexuals, just like heterosexuals, are unique human beings. In other words, not all homosexuals are alike, and the displeasing actions of one homosexual person cannot be used to condemn the homosexual culture as a whole. I will admit that I was a little nervous to interview Brent, but in the end, I am very glad I got to learn about the homosexual culture, and what it is like to be gay in Utah.

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