To: Professor K. B.

Hom
Department of Communication
From: Jared Haskell
Date: 4/29/2014
RE: Interpersonal Communication Final Report on Relational Change Project

Overview
For this paper I am writing about a communication habit I have and that I feel I struggle
with which is sometimes when I communicate I am too vague and I don't give enough detail. I
will be reporting on the things I did to work on improving this habit which were skills from the
textbook that I felt would be helpful for me to study to help improve my habit. I will explain how
somewhat successful I feel this project has been. There will be explanations of constraints I had
while doing this project and there will be an explanation of the implementation I took to improve
this behavior. There will also be a discussion of the results from this project and there will be
recommendations I will have for myself for the future and things I can still do to improve my
behavior. And lastly there will be a works citied which references where I have received my
instruction for my improvements.

Unwanted Communication Pattern
The communication habit I have that I have been working on this semester is being more
specific and less vague in the details I give while communicating with people. There are multiple
examples of conversations where this has been a problem that I can give about this behavior
because this is a behavior I am told I have a problem with.


One example is while I was on my LDS mission I met with a counselor to discuss
homesickness and anxiety challenges I faced, and while talking with this counselor I would be
talking about problems I had with those I worked with or certain personal problems and there
would times where he would tell me I am not giving him enough detail and that I am being to
vague, which would result in him pushing me for more specific information. I feel that this
pattern of me talking to him and him pushing me helped our relationship because it helped both
of us fulfill the purpose of why we were talking with each other, I wasn't sure I would finish my
mission because of my problems and I believe that without his help I would not have finished. I
feel like one section from the class textbook that would have helped me in this situation would
have been the section about word barriers beginning on page 162, and more particularly the
section on that section which talks about a lack of precision and uncertain meaning, that is a bit
of what I feel was the problem in these situations, that I lacked in precisely communicating what
I needed to to this counselor.
Another person that has told me I have this problem is my mom, she has told me on
multiple occasions that I am not giving her enough information, and these conversations can be
about anything, one example I do have is I had a problem with leg, I felt like it was cramping up
or giving me some kind of problem, and so I asked her what to do and she was asking me to tell
her what the symptoms where and I wasn't sure if I could say it was a cramp because I am not
sure if I have ever had a cramp before and so I just tried explaining it in other ways that were not
making sense to my mom and it ended up frustrating her and we did not end being able to find a
solution. I am not sure about information from the textbook that would help in this situation
because I feel like a part of the problem in this situation is that I did not fully understand what
was going on with my leg, so I feel if more fully understood medical terms I feel like I would


have been able to explain the situation more than saying there is a problem with my leg, what
can I do? I feel like if understood the proper words to use then I believe again understanding the
information taught in lack of precision on page 163 of the class textbook would have been
helpful.

Strategies
The strategies I wanted to use to help work on improving my behavior were, to improve
my listening skills, improve my verbal communication skills and to improve my skills of
expressing non verbal messages.
How I expected improving my listening skills to help me was by learning how to listen
more effectively I believed it would help me learn how to listen more and help me listen for all
the information I needed to listen to in a conversation to make sure that I would know that what I
am saying actually relates to the conversation, not that I feel I have a big problem with this,
sometimes I catch myself spacing or zoning out and so I do not catch everything that is said,
which could be a problem if I want to comment on what was just said and I have no idea what
fully was just said then being able to be less vague and more specific would not matter very
much because I would not even be on topic.
How I expected improving my verbal communication to help with my bad habit was by
my hoping that I would be able to focus on words and they work, the power they can carry and
the barriers that surround them to be able to more effectively and strategically use them to
communicate the thoughts and feeling that I am having, I feel like in a lot of situations I feel I
know what should happen however I feel I struggle to communicate my input and how I feel like
for example how a problem can be solved, or I also feel like my ability to communicate my


understanding of a situation can be difficult or vague as well and so my hopes with learning
more about words was to learn how to more properly use them.
My last strategy was to learn how to improve my skill of expressing my non verbal
messages, I felt like this would help me know what things to look for when I have a challenge in
communicating with people, I also feel like it connects to my concern in the previous strategy
about how sometimes I feel I know what should happen and I feel like non verbal
communication is an area I do not have a lot of understanding in and so I feel like it would be
another opportunity to learn to more effectively communicate, which sometimes I believe a non
verbal message could more effectively convey a message than could a verbal message, which I
think would be helpful in my working on improving my bad communication habit.

Constraints
One big challenge I think I faced with this project was the fact that I think it may be a big
problem and not necessarily something that is completely resolved because I feel like maybe it
will take more time to work on it.
I also feel like there could maybe be more for me to learn to help me deal with my bad
habit. I feel like the strategies I choose to use were helpful for me to study, however at the end of
the project I realize that there are more things I could study as well to help me improve.

Implementation
As I said before I am starting to see that this behavior change seems like it is going to be
a bigger process than I thought it would be and so I do not feel like there are any lasting changes
that have come about from this project yet. I feel like the things I have learned have been more or


steps in the right direction towards me improving this bad behavior. One example I shared from
my journals is when I was talking to my mom about Facebook and how she was having a
problem with it and so she asked for my help, I felt I knew she was giving me too much
information for me to help her with her problem so I cut her off and brought the conversation
more to the point, I feel like this example, even though I may have been a bit blunt, I feel like
was effective, and it was an instance where I feel I actually shared what I was feeling effectively,
and I feel like that was change in the direction I am wanting.
I feel how I have managed the constraints I mentioned in the previous section is by; first
trying to get as much done on improving my behavior as I could within the time frame I was
working on it, and second I focused on the skills I said I would study in hopes that they would
start the process of me improving my behavior.
I feel that in this project the big change I planned to make was not achieved, mainly
because I feel I have realized this is going to take a lot more time and work than I thought it
would, however I do feel that small changes here and there and have been made and so hopefully
they will continue to improve.

Results
Some of the positive outcomes from this project I feel are that I realized that even though
I doubt my communication ability at times I feel like I learned that I do have some skills I just
recognize that I have them, which I feel the class and the textbook have helped me realize. I also
realized that even though I did not make the overall big change I wanted, I realized that there is
still more learning I can go through to help me reach my goal, so I feel like I have realized it it
not over.


I think the main major negative consequence I experienced was that I did not make the
major change I was hoping to make.
I think the reasons my plans did not pan out is because I feel like I am realizing there are
other skills from the class and textbook that I could focus more on implementing, or at least
strive to recognize them if the are present in my life.
I am satisfied enough with the attempted changes I have made in my life, I am satisfied in
knowing that there is still more for me to learn and do and I am satisfied in knowing I can do it
as long as I keep working on it.

Recommendations
I will continue to work on being less vague and more specific in my conversations
because I want to be as effective as I can be in communicating who I am. I will modify my
actions to continue to look for opportunities to improve my communication behavior because I
want to be better, I plan on taking more communications classes during my time at college and I
hope that the other classes I take in the future will help me to continue to recognize and improve
my communication behaviors. If I were to continue to work on this project I would probably
focus on the chapters 9 to 12 in the book that talk about interpersonal relationships and how to
build, understand and manage them, I feel like learning more about these will help me know
what is more commonly expected in relationships which I think would help me build
relationships better which will give me more opportunity to talk with more people and I hope
that the more interaction with people I have the more specific and effective I can be in
communicating with them. In chapter 1 of the book it talks about interpersonal communication


and how it is important, I feel that if I can learn how to manage my communication and
relationships more effectively then I believe I will be happier in life.

Works Cited
Beebe, Beebe & redmond. (2011). Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others. 6th
Edition. Boston: Pearson Education / Allyn &Bacon.