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Attachment Theory
Razan Tanbour
Senior Project
Michigan Islamic Academy





























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Abstract

The main focus of my paper will be discussing both the short and long term
effects of weak emotional bonds in a parent-child relationship. I will begin my paper by
explaining the origin of the attachment theory basing the section mostly on the work
of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, the theory's founders. Following this, I will explain
the importance of parents having strong emotional bonds with their children. The reasons
why parents tend to neglect their children will also be brought to light. Adding to this, I
will elaborate on the ideal parent-child relationship, which would nurture the child's
health, both mentally and physically. I will explain the various types of Attachments,
stressing that a secure attachment is the most ideal. Children have been shown to flourish
as an outcome of a strong sense of security in the child's household, which results in
children being able to explore the world with a more proficient and mentally-stable
outlook. Counter to that, children who experienced a deprivation of security and
affectionate bonding from parents, whether simply by being ignored or on the extreme of
child abuse, have been proven to be brought up with poor peer relationships, low self-
esteem, and are more likely to suffer emotional damage of many sorts.

















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Attachment Theory, which was introduced by John Bowlby (1969), is an
essential topic that all parents and caretakers should take into consideration. Attachment
Theory states that if children are nurtured and attached to their parents at a young age, the
child will have a greater chance of achieving a successful and stress-free life. This theory
stresses the importance of an attachment figure in the childs life whom will serve as a
secure base for the child (Bretherton, 1992, p.1). Researcher Mary Ainsworth expanded
on this theory and created a methodology that made it possible to test some of Bowlbys
ideas empirically (Bretherton, 1992, p.1). Attachment Theory encompasses many
aspects of securing an emotional bond in a parent-infant relationship, including the
signals involved in a parent-child relationship. Unfortunately, caretakers do not pay
enough attention to the importance of securing close emotional bonds. Many parents are
not aware of the severe effects that neglecting children can have on their mental and
physical development. Due to the great significance of forming an early attachment,
parents must focus on strengthening relationships with their children from an early age.


Origins of Attachment Theory
The theory of attachment was brought about in the 1940s (Bretherton, 1992, p.1).
Children that had grown up in orphanages were shown to be socially and emotionally
unstable (Bretherton, 1992, p.3). However, the first to formally introduce this theory was
John Bowlby. John Bowlby was a child psychiatrist in Britain who trained at the British
Psychoanalytic Institute (Bretherton, 1992, p.9). Bowlbys (1987) first study was

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performed at the London Child Guidance Clinic. This study was based on 44 patients that
were previously noted to be affectionless. After detailed examination, Bowlby was able
to link their symptoms to histories of maternal deprivation and separation(Bretherton,
1992, p.3). Bowlby continued to study various cases and form ideas that were exhibited
in his papers. Some of his early ideas explained that children were born with the instinct
and desire to attach, for this will help them survive in life (McLeod, 2007, p.1). Bowlby,
further, hypothesized that it was a childs nature to display need towards his mother and
resistance towards strangers. Bowlby went on to explain that there should be one
attachment figure that could be relied upon while growing up to be an emotionally stable
adult. He stressed the importance of having this attachment figure present, especially
from birth to the age of two.
According to Bowlby (2007), the relationship between an attachment figure and
the child allows the child to form an internal working model (McLeod, 2007, p.1).
This internal working model is a cognitive framework comprising mental
representations for understanding the world, self and others (McLeod, 2007, p.1). The
organization of this model is based on the attachment figures response towards each
behavior that the child manifests. An accepting and caring response from the attachment
figure leads to a secure organization of the internal working model and vice versa. The
childs future actions are based on the representations and memories that are associated
with the childs internal working model, which initially began with the childs model
attachment figure (McLeod, 2007, p.1).
Although Bowlby was the first to introduce this theory, having Mary Ainsworth
as a research partner significantly progressed this theory. In 1969, Ainsworth came up

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with the Strange Situation Assessment (SSA) (McLeod, 2007, p.3). In this study,
Ainsworth observed infants between 12 and 18 months of age. She monitored the
different relationships that occur when the infant is with its parent, left alone without a
parent, and reunited with its parents. Consequently, three different attachment patterns
were named to describe these different relationships.


Types of Attachment
The first type of attachment is secure attachment; being the most ideal, a
caregiver who promotes secure attachment is sensitive to his or her infant's signals,
receptive and accepting of their infant's distress, and consistent in applying this positive
parenting style (Goldberg, 2004, p.2). For example, in a study reported by Schaffer, a
child and mother are brought into a room with brightly colored toy blocks. Both mother
and son glance at the same objects almost immediately. Following this, the child points
towards the blocks, wanting the mother to acknowledge them. The mother immediately
responds; this is because she has been closely observing her child and has takes note of
his enthusiasm towards the blocks. The mother continues to comment on the toys that her
child picks up showing mutual interest in her sons choice of toys. This creates a sharing
experience between the mother and child. A sharing experience is then brought about,
instigated by the infants spontaneous attention to the environment but established by the
mother allowing herself to be paced by the baby (Bowlby 1988 p.9).
The second type of attachment that was observed through the Strange Situation
experiment is insecure attachment. Unfortunately, it is a very common pattern of
attachment that can have serious effects on an infants well-being. Insecure attachment

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patterns can be observed in infant-caretaker relationships in which the caretaker does not
adequately respond to the childs signs of need. These caregivers are unavailable either
physically, psychologically, or emotionally and tend to be insensitive or unpredictable in
their response to attachment needs (Goldberg, 2004, p.4). This pattern of attachment is
divided into two types, avoidant attachment and resistant attachment.
In an avoidant attachment, an infant has a neutral response to their caretakers
presence. In the absence of the caretaker, the infant does not show signs of distress; the
infant does not respond positively or negatively when confronted with the caretaker after
a period of separation. Ainsworth concluded that infants that have an avoidant attachment
with their caretaker have not been sufficiently tended to when sick or emotionally upset.
(Goldberg, 2004, p.2).
Resistant attachment occurs when an infant is solely concentrated on seeking
attention from their caretaker (Goldberg, 2004, p.2). Infants that have a resistant
attachment with their caretaker do not explore their environment during the absence of
the caretaker. Consequently, they become emotionally disturbed when left without their
caretaker. Even when the caretaker returns to comfort the infant, the infant seems
apprehensive, demonstrating both positive and negative responses. Although they are
searching for consolation, these infants have a hard time receiving the comfort because
they do not fully trust the caretaker. Resistant attachment has been associated with a
pattern of care in which the caregiver inconsistently responds to his or her infant's signals
of distress (Goldberg, 2004, p.2).
The last and most extreme pattern of attachment that was observed is disorganized
attachment. Infants with disorganized attachment patterns have very confusing responses

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when with their caretaker. These infants usually appear to be disoriented in their physical
movements, as well as, undergo a very high level of distress and anxiety when around
their caretaker. These infants usually are traumatized by the maltreatment that they
received from their caretaker, usually being physical abuse or a significantly unstable
home environment (Goldberg p. 5).
Attachment Patterns across the Lifespan
Infants who formed secure attachments with their caretakers are expected to have
a more promising future ahead of them compared to those who were insecurely attached.
Beginning from preschool, students who are securely attached to their parents exhibit
great social skills between their peers. Securely attached children are independent in the
classroom, but still work with others fairly and cooperatively. These children also clearly
display their emotions in response to certain events, such as feeling compassionate
towards a peer that has been mistreated. Usually, these positive traits persist into their
grade school years. For example, a study was conducted in which the mother had vocal
interchange with her child. When these children were studied at 12 and 24 months, it was
shown that these children began to form their own opinions by differentiating between
right and wrong (Cassidy & Shaver, 2008, p. 94). The security that these children feel,
allows them to have more confidence develop self-worth (Cassidy & Shaver, 2008, p.
94). These characteristics allow other behavioral systems (such as exploration and care
giving) to operate effectively (Cassidy & Shaver, 2008, p. 94)
As teenagers, they begin to form goals and desire specific life paths which further
take them into their progressive adult years. Adults who had secure attachments easily
communicate emotions and usually form long-term, intimate relationships (Simpson &

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Rholes, 1998, p. 11). In a videotaped study conducted by Simpson in 1992, romantic
attachment styles were observed. It was concluded that adults who were securely attached
while growing up consequently displayed secure romantic attachment styles (Simpson &
Rholes, 1998, p. 11). When emotionally distressed, women who grew up securely
attached turn to their partners for emotional support; whereas women who grew up
insecurely attached stray away from their partners and turn to other outlets for help
(Simpson & Rholes, 1998, p. 11). Similarly, men who grew up securely attached
effectively support their distressed partners. However, men who grew up insecurely
attached, react to their distressed partner by becoming less sympathetic and supportive.
Unfortunately, children that demonstrate insecure attachment patterns of any type
are observed to encounter a variety of behavioral issues and emotional instability.
Children who were in avoidant attachment relationships during infancy are vulnerable to
becoming emotionally insulated, hostile, or anti-social; engaging in activities such as
stealing, lying, or cheating (Goldberg, 2004, p.3). Generally, children that had an
avoidant attachment with their caretaker constantly blame others for their irresponsible
acts. Similarly, children that had a resistant attachment with their caretaker grow up to
become very dependent on adults when conducting any activity. (Goldberg, 2004, p.3)
These children tend to develop into weak adults with very low self-esteem; these adults
have difficulty exploring the world and are not prepared to make crucial decisions
independently. Sadly, children that grew up having disorganized attachments with their
caretaker tend to self-declare themselves as the dominant figure in the parent-child
relationship.(Goldberg, 2004, p.3) These children are the most likely to take control by
rebelling against their parents desires to prove that they are in charge. The controlling-

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punitive-child behaves in a hostile manner toward the caregiver who usually complies
with the childs requests (Goldberg, 2004, p.3).
Other Factors
The importance of securing close emotional bonds with ones child starting from
infancy has been thoroughly discussed. However, although caretakers are advised to take
certain precautions when responding to their child, each parent-child relationship is
different. Due to that, many factors of a child and/or parent can affect how a secure-
attachment is achieved. Premature birth, diseases, and mental issues are biological factors
that some children suffer from which greatly affects the method taken in order to secure
close emotional bonds between a caretaker and child. Every caretaker must deal with
their situation differently (Bretherton, 1992, p. 2).
Regardless, one rule must be followed in every attempt to form a secure
attachment: every caretaker must avidly respond to their childs needs physically,
psychologically, and emotionally (Goldberg, 2004, p.5). Similarly, a caretakers
economic issues, family problems, and living conditions are all non-biological factors
that can negatively affect a parent-child relationship if dealt with in the correct way
(Goldberg, 2004, p.5).


Attachment Theory and Islam
Attachment Theory states that a child who is insecurely attached to their parent
will not come to the internal working model when emotionally distressed. The same
concept is demonstrated in Surat li-Imrn, Verse 159 when Allah (SWT) states,It is
by Allh (SWT)s mercy that you are gentle to them; and had you been harsh and

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hardhearted, surely they would have scattered from around you. Allah (SWT) warned
parents about having insecure relationships with their children. He has clearly stated the
best way to forming a secure attachment between ones child and themselves is through
mercy and gentle behavior. Allah (SWT) clearly states that if parents lack gentleness
when tending to their children, the children will drift apart from the parents. Prophet
Muhammad (PBUH) was sent down to the Muslims as a role model. Consequently, these
words of Allah (SWT) were acted upon by the Prophet and have been narrated to us
through hadiths, or recordings of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (PBHU) (Hashim,
2012, p.1).
The Prophet said, (It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong
it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of
the child will incite its mothers passions (Al-Bukhari). Even thousands of years before
Attachment Theory, the Prophet would take notice of all the signs of a distressed child
and was cautious about responding to these signals in the fastest manner. Prophet
Muhammad (PBUH) was the most righteous man on earth; he would not shorten a prayer
except for paramount reasons. The fact that a child in distress was a crucial enough
reason for the Prophet to shorten a prayer shows the importance of Muslims to take
similar actions, as shown in the Prophets sunnah and Attachment Theory.
In Surat Al-Baqarah, Allah (SWT) mentions the importance of securing emotional
bonds with ones child from an early age. He states, The mothers shall give such to their
offspring for two whole years" (The Noble Quran, 2:233). In this ayah, Allah (SWT)
strongly recommends that mothers breastfeed their child for two years. Other than the
physical health benefits that a child receives from his mothers nutrient-filled milk, there

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is also an emotional and mental connection that occurs. A recent study in 2008 revealed
that the immense amounts of the love hormone oxytocin gust to the mothers brain
while she breastfeeds her child. This hormone increases the emotional attention that the
mother gives to her child. (Derbyshire, 2008, p.1)
Conclusion
Since the introduction of the Attachment Theory, it has been elaborated on to
analyze the role early attachment plays in a child-parent relationship. The Attachment
theory has a number of factors and been around for over 40 years, and through that time,
has developed three distinct patterns, secure attachment being the most ideal. The
importance of starting to secure close emotional bonds at a young age cannot be stressed
enough. Unfortunately, many parents tend to link their infant incapability to speak at a
young age with an incapability to understand. However, infants apprehend their
caretakers actions and respond to these signals through various outlets. The attachment
that a child has with his/her parent greatly influences an infants childhood and adult
years. As an egotistical society, it is fundamental what we take Attachment Theory
seriously for the well-being of our future generations.















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REFERENCES
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: parent-child attachment and healthy human
development. New York: Basic Books.
Bretherton, I. (1994). The Origins of Attachment Theory: John Bowlby and Mary
Ainsworth.


Cassidy, J., & Shaver, P. (2008). Handbook of Attachment, Second Edition: Theory,
Research, and Clinical Applications. New York: Guilford Publications.

Derbyshire (2008) Breast-feeding DOES help mothers bond with babies - because it
releases the 'love' hormone. Retrieved January 27, 2014, from
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1036151/Breast-feeding-DOES-
help-mothers-bond-babies--releases-love-hormone.html#ixzz2rXMUriW9

Noble Qur`an, in Surat li- Imrn, Verse 159

Raising Children in Islam How to raise children into responsible Muslim adults? -
IqraSense.com : Wisdom from Quran and Hadith : IqraSense.com. (n.d.).
Islam Islamic Blog on Quran, Hadith, Muslims, Allah, Prophet Muhammad,
and Dua. Retrieved October 22, 2013, from
http://www.iqrasense.com/muslim-character/raising-children-in-islam-how-to-
raise-children-into-responsible-muslim-adults.htmls

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Robinson, L., Ph.D., M. G., & Ph.D., J. S. (n.d.). Secure Attachment & Bonding:
Understanding the Different Ways of Bonding and Communicating With
Your Child . Helpguide helps you help yourself and others. Retrieved October
7, 2013, from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bondings-development

Simpson, J. A., & Rholes, W. S. (1998). Attachment theory and close relationships. New
York: Guilford Press

The Prophets Compassion for Children . (n.d.). Mission Islam. Retrieved October 22,
2013, from http://www.missionislam.com/family/prophetscompassion.htm

University of Washington (n.d.) The First Relationship: Parent-infant Attachment is key
to Childs Development. University of Washington. Retrieved October 7,
2013, from http://www.washington.edu/earlychildhood/articles/the-first-
relationship-parent-infant-attachment-is-key-to-child2019













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