Anda di halaman 1dari 5

-1

...... q.12, . . . L ?k: n

S..;7.<.

. . . . .J. .21 . . . . .:frw.1rt. . . . . n~f=

JIJ1j/f:J/
.i

f'.CP~~J?~tj t~h; . f>J~/_,\

b . . . L1v7t. ID Q 1

. . . . . :111.t:. . .:. . . . . 0 . n... . . . . /jt?l.9~. . . . . .tt:J(rd.~5.,_. . l~~L.J.'t7.t.. . :~. P.c::~1J:J.....

11

civvt. . . .l . .

<!..~L-

'. ~ - - -

Get together with your group once more. Ask them to help brainstorm all the detail of the tension
scene here. (Of course, you will have to help them with THEIR scenes too.)

What did your characters:


See

/ S1neU

/A HtlerC'J

i,

:~

' (' }"i)W.f

TrMft
,. ).I -et!-llJ

1,
':I

i'

I,

.................................................................................... - .................... - -~ ....

..;,

..

.. !

:1'

.!

,j <vve?Ctr/

-----------~

feeli r112';s

.-J~-::::c---t (/--c
7 12~/j i r::; /J .,,,. (

.l. . /.I.I'_._,,,
.......

.. }1: 'tiV'/
/iY!!'IL.. ?/2:=

. Jl?_

.Y.Y.J

~ :_ ./l(?:~ '

I l11~~~t, ,1/Y_, f:J>L!~.


ii~.

':=::

. /ixt1J: b

. . L/11 e. ,

cl':!:: t?1~

[?u: _gfj1:(!c;.:-f

C::-.............. :l?13',,.

:.u.'
.../.-......'""
...

J!~~ . . vi'!l:t::!:f!I~('!_
~v

?L~?'.!:< L: ThT:l . ff~.. ]J {1:'i~!. . ., , . . . . . . . . , ,. .

.1~'1it:.d:::. .. . J k.o.:.r=."' .f~s~

11
. . . . .'. .

..........-..

fL0a0: Ji1t1c;;,L

e,~'\

...

'9.?J .....

Lr .. k:icqif.12!1/j-

(<d.'t

&.c;.lr:f: 1~g

c?:D,tz1:J::J.>~'.! . . . tf~lt;J

Q?.c.<t.:. ...tu.. i:!..l.

C?!::.~< .

. . . ..

l1 e 1s . . . . .,~1:?:yil.J . . . J~.t. . . . . .iJ.. ... ~:f:9.D. . . . . . c~./.:?Sl.':........ .......JS? . . . . . .c:'c?..ft . . . >'Q ........ Ff:'!:.!/ . .1.~:?=. ~--fJ-~1.::. .t:!J
.''.

'.~- a.. .

. L. .t.___,,..1..c.......

..

t!!h:oi.o./3ti5h:'.1h~~
f: r.c
...-- .
1

. . . /@tlllJj) . . . . . l!.L..f.. . . .J:. f=. . . . . . .Y.l5?~Y. . :~. . . . . Ib~.-S.

J:::e.11il1J

f!.tL

&?. i-:.1:1"!:!}
u.

t.irt:

. . . . . . . . n. c2. . . . . . f'k.dz)1:t.::.. . . . '.Y1. . . . . i!Yt:!:~.h. 1'..l1Jf.:ii..~-- . . . . . . . . . ..


. . h1:n:{1. . l... kd-ao?/JIC ........l. '.V." ' - ~.xf ,... 1~6. ~- . L9.~i.~~. . 9/1t::~('!ct~.=l'.t;:t:.1. . .~. . . . . .tJY!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '
1

L ......

Owltt

J!k-e

af11<!V(ecf.

{,A~O-

(' Ci

ti/

f~ty})

ifl,,

vi/J'\lvi1
o I/if

.Rf

sW l{ 0

/IL C?Vltlf_ ,

c/

h.f2,vt1C,'' r

Fh ey

J)J~

-----

~~--~-

~~--,_,.._,-="

- QJ~11-11_1c~-" Pf f3.J~v-

.4{ f~.C~{~/i~-.- ~/v~1t?


1

~.st') '1'.~k'.str//1
.
~

OVI

2-1{'/

it rrtky

y'r,,111'15

'{;Yfqe

J.

.,
i.
.
,to(_Yt~f

U J-1-@u:,;?ij

) a?n 116 l f l1'7C

fo

?t;

. {_ (CvJ1 1

;~e.J1,l( !/

vHi-e

)Je

711t'av1

: ,rt,11
i

~at-e

~l--1v11 ..UJi9

/,~v.A/ch1'f-

11(

hx)li

fhg

F-'0

111.,,fn

sev/f
,

01
,

9uvi./ c( )1Uc-{

M e,

I ct/ev r~

f/i'c.wc

II

f--1*2

ilt..-

.kL~

//l/irJP-

,f 'v2")~l1

LO?nr{_

;' r '/IV/ii /.:!1 !14/

01)cnJ71.r!t,fl1a

cL~c

./
an./..

::T//--<"i''

t)

W<'.( rr

9 vUtJ d

\;VCl

Y??:C"Z-C<:/1

lr"vu/ z:.ev:f. DVef

c.ncl

(ti/

/fw!)

f\,?Ce

t--1dA

l!VI /hc,f? ) . I 111 ci. f

vv?t#

Jo n 1e cu1.-l vv~.. J lLh<.;/

'i1 -t'c!.?

Q-;z,;-f

a1tf

/f

/--'/..:Juj?i,i'

a{-50/ r,cfe!J

I0

[,v,,'1t~fPS .

ivo&i {d..

3cu'C ;;

5'aJ

lb /fie F

)11

fe!f
to

B/ol~ 'C J~'W?'{ er

itn:~J :J-Ze 01f.J

noJ4-.;1!j

vv?')',

/11 ;";-, r1-i(..

{lk.e__
11v1 t2.. .

df S<N1

lfo, I i'ca/ly

f/1..---avl/-c:-.l

/..-i-icx/

e<ccey;1'

Z/h c,{/(./k:c:::.,.:

t1di

1;~'J se/l-

(vv1,?-

c?~~~;hesr }11 c

f-0

fr(cc{

s !ck

{NC<f

o//-/c:;

rh e.

t/t(cJr C-c O?f,.,.(efr:'J lkf/"'{

t/f/f!(J;hhct:l ;' r/

;/ -,

/[L..c

s~cD/U(

Ff 111j

\/von )4,..__c-

fttt)/--

Jf-c.t-17Y:.-(,

nec.l ,_ / !Jdfe,,{ ll {f,,;1.. L..J

fe (/--- c---r_'/;--

k-z,, vv\/

c v ?0J-L_J

j/k:?t: off/c:,";;(

o//jvi1j;t-icj

{0

cc,

/t&v1

'11~

h1cda(

/11/v cvr<Jon1

l d I Avi (~
{!___

/1-.c

C'i>J?(

kte<:vl}-e '

(,V,Jl'L.

:zf fo rnc . I

f1.10iJ-J[1f; / [uidc;(

LfVlV;1/--ed..

fo

tz,;nf!

.#1e

c liect;fc::ti 1 11vUc:,1

ntlj /?v/k!cJ;ofc:0

a(,viucl_J

/1.ie.. VNt:dal /u1AY/d.

1 Soz:trl ;/-

: /

hou,~ i1:e:

t!J

C)vef

Vlt).,f

lo

o//f~c.cf

//

b(,,,-e-1VJ l:lu::_/y m <J:ib!;. ,

':J()tVt.

1-J,~ "'1r1. cz. / ovM <" cr-r;

t-'~1."a/ed ~ ~f.'C.-#-f(-Fi:7;tF~#'<'P--~~-

qfA:11 a.17

. (;vCr.(/:.ec/

g-eF ()-.::, }ii,(-;:,

ve (;

+t>~~~~---tJ..c}v-c:--Fnat;r.

,Af/(

~ecp,.,t:~i"-

O /-;C;; c: /Ci-'I

dO'
1
5 11U'r?c/ cl

c)f

.
/--frrt/{ lZ

r~l 5ot-;! i <;1 '' fh <?' vvnm -e/~ Vf /1--?e }0 0 ;vv,i e-h-'-:: S//"Jtfrpf
) <:' ~1/--17 c // ' cJI/ Id. 11}
e (/ t ,, f I ivovi . flVe ill c;h.-a/i1.tj

i 11.IO

~ IC:( It. -c:

I5

vv/)i,

'//101-1;/

. 5/f{)tce

"l//,;ec:c(

i;1 1'177 c>ncr71 !11.:6 Yh-7 j

(' .7?11

e,-ief'~j 'J J-l,c>''i ,:;r,,/i /k-'i}e

vi c/-h~"l/i; t-rv lf-7 , rJJ,~' t..

'f.:

I.)

'h_ec:-tA. Cl-it-(/V/ v(//Jef ,;.-t/l -c.. r:flu'tf?.z;F/7

t}'f~dt"c;C -f<J /lw1/

(_;;}/{7' J

1/i

,/

/ S"C1ocd.:( h~%V[ 'V"1"57~

.;df/ci(C./;,.t::.S'. / (jlfi-1- ii~)


I

;-c . I

pu-rc .

11 '

c.l1b({

cros;5;:?fJ i/l/r?' Ahlt0 i/11c (DO 111e/1YJ

r1

fM e B/J 'lr r.;.ni rr1-1 Ou/ o/ t'vtc S/~-,..17----;-z-:!J'


~ I - ?tcu ( e'i/er l/-e'{'.~7 vr~
i i,;1 'V/15 I ,.
~ !)JiJ?-1 ( / fi.C.) 1/1,j/l-1 v n e i .ic~lSt')71 S ; cl e l'-l/ J>~t e
1,

u / /3

o.. [ifeHu-1r
"11 /-ra

Vik

() / ( Ul ; r'c

. 'j- .

ri, e

9 Hoervt

Wl\j

,'j ,~ r [1L .

J V' tJ}\

jO(t._

i i<'l

)_,,h.e

n)

Jli,,:

lN/ c~S)

k /vl,-'J

l7lrv;-

Cnvvrf-

J..,liC:.

cu1 ,(_

I co ii Id 11

tit/-o

11

/~

Fi:rr

l"l o.-c

if 1'/--

t't U

up. c.~;tt-(

(cw-- .. {-/-

c:i..

0-:1~7

c1 (;{

t.v/ l { J e e

vtr{lt.,l--,,::,--

,l-Jckec( //It c

Se-y-f?'J

J,1

.}CLIO\ '\

[;VJ

/'5/E'c" cfc

2s--11111_s

/ r' k_ <..

r-i; - Ti, c 5 Lfrvnil


yo({ /f ftt:f- f"oll

c:

}i-;,:-c

i 't) Dle v[

fdl/-

f} ll({l'j"T;;{ {111<ktt9

'
I' /pp
rj-f/I/ W~t:.

'.J

?<-

0 r f-Cl)/-c;.,
----.
- --------- -

J Ltcv/// y

QvVl cl

.Jl!Q .J ,.7 C ro

r; 1:1t-,, "//Lec1rc.

fivr-(Jt';J 11

r}tt {!/

-{;~--

1r,_,_,. J

f.e.,( 7-i.,,c:--

e :/ D /---

i Vl./-o

tJ i::>r \J[q ' J1,,e cw-rr 0 f vlA el"~(]')/ c . f/Vl-J e11 [;ve:. cJc,-rtz-~.{_
;J+-c.dA,.-4}_ --rv1e 0->'1-{ !f.,/Jco/ 1,.11 c i/jv fl,.: :J/clfl~- avve /u .ltvn:ri:-fJ,;i
-rl
.-.
a
0
c:r1/-rci:.,vll'C:. 'r<i<:y
'fJ//"''fl-><~<-( ;;,~ c:-&r()y jD f~J le//- c-1.-11(71 IV!j1c{ C )'Vt.ev-c
Irie

Vv,-;;-J

,1

//v;~rc

--every td,i;.r<c: /-fj /J:"'j

'}1'1 c:l{:cc

OtU

5c'C,/-

t.rJ',v-r1

lt4'~

1,.,1/{v;.t:_

fc>

r/=;z.'c. e

vc,._-1-r:t

//~ 'il/-o , /

1-'l;lj

5ll/c-(

f6"

"11

JU<)l1 cd!
fa ~

ft1;rrr7't!1 /'h.J2.1"?

Sir,
(t'

.;:01//'li

I
I

Yl-zR

'CJ}Ve-0--C-c:{

Sh II vvJ ~1
1

For
J-iie
1-f)

!-hi!.

tt~c

1 y L"C!rf

B/0 e So1/-r'/ c

sirc[i?C.1--- 0 0 11/1/ ucl1

8lctl:.c 5r:.JAfl/ e

-JA/e;v"{

f!1of.{i! c J f- 'l/JtJ?;fyt.<l

1t/1 (!. oj:f1er' cJ 9nf'


k

e<,{,..-[ t

'If)

h Y'w,,1

,'Ve:

S(J''??e/t-d~; / rovl

VVorh/ Cfio...1nv.Jo1-1JCi'f-1,

'Vi <.;'!--

hstvl e'

34-

ol.A>oi" ,fo 14-~!J Ot-/!lar:/--U'fe~ilj- c:.vv'( /"clr./1')ccA

~0L

6 l!J ht/c: J

cvVt

Th_

VVl

0 /-

//lie:<?

[X!'tJ?(

711

1)),t..-J- -

f-he

}-1-1..<t-k lh?'--"'(

{,Vi)

/-0e WJf/c{ ( huf;i1//ft1JF1Jfri,t;.J


1J

i1f-c.

fLz l ol,(ci ,j~teOfCAv

K.o. ne ;;::/-

}-rt<.;/1 a,,.{ V'ilfllt r"i,17 '1/:4-

o{!Jll'i[l':c-/'

rti ,'5

lh IJ

cvnd..

/flrt (

huf"'-e

8Ct)o{ ~' fS /(tk.-c,

fJ-Zt/j iurJ(

J/

4.1.A

J----e 01

,k;-'L

o{af-1,/

! );/

U.e

WON . /J.

vv1111

5(if fl/./ t(,,7 j:J-

~111

d/ <l

~\

!/)

;,(
)

:
, ,, I

L' f

'-)

r.:Lc
I

;/
L

'

,~

1/1:

,.v<r

.11

.\

/I

,,
,I

II!

/1! ( __'

,,.-

' \~--

1\
\

/iu<rS

'

') ,;l (.

'O

' I I.t ,.

,, v

'
I

(_

J'- '..1

My Trial Story.

'

Sizzling Start

5W's

Tightening Tension
inclusion of 6 senses.

Pages
Spelling and
Punctuation

Exceeds Expectations

At Expectations

Below Expectations

(4) Detailed
descriptions and use of
dynamic words in an
action packed
beginning.
(4) Narrative includes
in depth descriptions of
who, what where, when
and why.
(4) Tension scene came
after the problems and
before the climax and
use of the 6 senses is
evident.
(4) More than 1.:5
pages.
(4) Minimal spelling
and punctuation
mistakes.

Start is in the thick of


the action and grips the
reader in.

(1) Little use of


interesting vocabulary
and too much
information.

(3) Narrative includes


who, what, where,
when and why.

(1) Naffative has some


but not all.

(3) Tension scene came


after the problems and
before the climax.
Use of 3-4 senses is
evident.
(3) More than 1 page.

(1) No Tension Scene


or Tension Scene
included at least 1
sense.

(3) Some spelling and


punctuation mistakes.

(1) Many spelling and


punctuation mistakes.

(1) Less than 1 page.

Anda mungkin juga menyukai