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Jeanette Shoukry
John Kubler
English 114B
8 May 2014
The Struggle With Her Inner Self
For years, women have been trying to figure out who they really are without all the
influence of the outside world telling them something different. How can anyone figure out who
they truly are with so many different people telling them their something different. Women need
to be able to block out the outside world to find their true selves. Yet, the real question is can an-
yone block out what others say? People dont realize how much their opinions impact others.
Women need to just be able to be themselves without anyone judging them. But with the
way people are today, that wont be happening any time soon. Older people look at the way
young girls dress today compared to the old days and label them as sluts for what they are wear-
ing. What they dont seem to realize though, is that young girls are just trying to keep up with
whats in style in todays world. Judging others comes as a second nature to some people. Most
people judge others so that they can feel better about themselves. No one wants to admit their
insecurities, so they judge others so that they can ignore what they dont like about themselves.
Mel Schwartz is a psychotherapist, marriage counselor, author, educator and executive coach.
His article Self Esteem or Other Esteem? argues that When we solicit approval from others, we
are actually rejecting our own self and concurrently debasing our self-esteem by seeking it
from others (2). A persons insecurities makes them vulnerable to others because it shows them
as being weak in a way.
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Everyone has insecurities no matter who they are or what they do its just that some
are better at hiding them compared to others. Even if someone were to tell you that they dont
have any insecurities it would probably be a lie. No one is perfect; everyone has something that
they dont like about themselves. Though, women tend to be more vocal about their insecurities
compared to men. John DeVore is a writer, an editor, a digital content creator, and is currently
Managing Editor of Team Coco. His article, Men have insecurities, just like women! mentions
that Men have always had insecurities. We just don't talk about them, preferring to grit teeth,
squint, and clench fists (1). Men dont like to talk about their insecurities like women do
they would rather cover their insecurities by acting tough, then deal with them. If you think about
it women are constantly under a microscope by society; where as men arent under a microscope
as much. You wont ever See a dude turn to another dude and ask, Do I look fat in these
pants? (1). Men dont care as much about what society thinks they should look like like
women do. Yet, that doesnt mean that they dont have insecurities to; it just means that they are
not vocal about them.
Women are constantly changing their appearance so they can feel better about them-
selves. Much like how Marji in Persepolis did as she got older as her body started to change,
she started to change her look. She did this a couple of times threw out the book. Each time she
changed her look she changed it so that she would be accepted by society. She changed her
look in chapters Vegetable and Skiing on pages 35- 36 and 120, when she lived in Europe she
had a punk look to match her friends, but when she moved back to Iran her look changed so that
she would be accepted. Iran was stricter compared to Europe, she couldnt look punk in Iran. She
had to conform to what they believed women should look like. When she hung out with her
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childhood friends she felt out of place because of the way they looked and acted. Society had a
great impact on Marjis life without her even noticing it.
The question that comes to mind when talking about a womens insecurities is Where
did this all originate from? Could it have come from the media or could it have come from soci-
ety. Tom Keith is a filmmaker, anti-sexist activist, author, and lecturer who produced a docu-
mentary, Misogyny in Media & Culture in which he states in his transcript that Its funny to see
the ways in which women have changed in appearance over the years (Keith 3). Women care
more and more about the way look as time goes on especially with all the ads that are shown
on TVs, magazines, or on the internet on how women can improve the way they look.
Tom Keith states that Girls today are raised around images of idealized beauty in maga-
zines, where airbrushed perfection inform girls of the standards of beauty in our society (6).
How are girls supposed to feel comfortable in their own skin, when they are constantly being
shown images of women, who by societys standards are made up to look perfect. This con-
stant reminder throughout magazines has become very problematic for young girls and women.
One issue that has started because of this idea of idealized beauty is eating disorders. Due to
this issue, Young girls are pressured to be very thin. And these pressures lead more and more
girls to adopt dangerous lifestyles and practices in the quest for perfection (6). Women
shouldnt have to starve themselves or cause themselves any harm to fit societys image of wom-
en.
How can women try to feel better about themselves when there are so many ads out
there that tell them otherwise. Michelle Wilkinson article How Images in the Media are Fueling
Womens Body Insecurities, points out that [Women are] always comparing their own bodies to
those of the models and celebrities they see (1). When women compare themselves to models or
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celebrities it changes the way they see themselves. They might have seen themselves as beauti-
ful for a short time and once they see these types of women their view of themselves completely
changes. These body images fuel more insecurities for women; more than people realize. I can
honestly say that this happened to me and to my friends. Seeing these perfect looking women
on TV changes the way we see ourselves. This causes us to want to try and become like them.
I know what its like to want to change the way you look just so that you can look like the
women on TV. For me personally, Im constantly trying to find new ways to stay in shape.
Wether thats by exercising, counting calories, or trying the newest type of workout. I try to take
care of myself so that I can feel confident about myself. When you see all these girls who are
able to wear whatever they want cause they have a size two body, it makes you feel insecure
about yourself because you cant do that. There are certain clothes that you want to wear but you
cant cause again you dont have the body for it. Little things like this are what fuel a womens
insecurities about herself and the way she looks. Young girls want to be thin and perfect because
they want to feel confident about themselves. No one likes to feel insecure or self conscious in
their own skin. By looking the way the girls on TV look your rewarded by feeling confident,
having a guys notice you, and being able to wear whatever you want. Yet, trying to look like this
doesnt mean that you will feel this way.
Yet, is it really the women on TVs fault that women become insecure about themselves
once they see them? Or could it be that the women on TV just enhance a womens insecurities
more and its just easier to blame the media and society for this. If you ask any woman if she is
insecure about anything about herself, I can almost guarantee that she will come up with at least
one thing about herself that she doesnt like. Each woman has something that they are insecure
about; wether its their physical appearance, their weight, their clothes, etc. there is always
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something. Especially around summer time women become more insecure about the way they
look because its bikini season which means its time to go to the beach; where everyone likes to
show off their awesome body.
Most women have a goal weight that they want to accomplish so that they can fit into
certain types of clothes. They have this goal because they want to be accepted and they feel that
if they are skinny and can fit into certain clothes they will attract more guys. The problem is that
society constantly reinforces this idea to women which makes them feel more self conscious
then they already were. Tori Rodriguez is a journalist and psychotherapist, whose work has ap-
peared in Scientific American Mind, Women's Health, and Real Simple. Her article Learn to Love
the Way Your Body Looks, mentions [That] 80 percent of women in the U.S. are unhappy with
the way their bodies look (1). This just goes to show that most women have insecurities about
themselves. Tori suggests that women need to Ditch [the] negative thoughts and feel better
about the skin you're in (1). By doing this women would gain more confidence and be less inse-
cure about themselves.
Advertising, magazines, media, etc. are only a part of the problem that are creating
womens insecurities. The real problem is women not being able to accept themselves for who
they really are because society is constantly telling women to be something that they are not.
One minute there told that if they are themselves they will be accepted, but then they are told to
be something that they are not to be accepted. Their getting mixed messages on who they should
really be should they be themselves or someone their not? They just want to feel comfortable
in their own skin, but with each passing year that is getting harder and harder to accomplish. No
one should have to feel like they have to change every single little thing about themselves to be
accepted. Women should be proud of who they are and not listen to what the outside world has
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to say about them. But sadly women are constantly letting the outside world influence their deci-
sions.

















Works Cited
DeVore, John. "Men have insecurities, just like women! - CNN.com." CNN.com -
Breaking News, U.S., World, Weather, Entertainment & Video News.
21 Sept. 2009. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.
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Keith, Thomas. Generation M Misogyny in Media & Culture." Media Education Foun-
dation | Educational Videos for Teaching Media Literacy and Media Studies,
Web. 21 Mar. 2014.
Rodriguez, Tori. "Positive Self Esteem - Love Your Body at WomansDay.com." Wom-
an's Day. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.
Satrapi, M. Persepolis 2: The Story Of a return. New York: Pantheon Books, 2004.
Print.
Schwartz, Mel. "Self Esteem or Other Esteem? | Psychology Today." Psychology Today:
Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. N.p., 29 July 2013. Web.
2 May 2014.
Wilkinson, Michelle. "How Images in the Media are Fuelling Womens Body Insecuri-
ties." Style Studio 360 | Style Tips, Beauty Advice, Fashion Articles.
16 Nov. 2010. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.