Success Coaching: Top 10 Asking Mistakes

1. Closed Questions (Yes or No response)

Examples:
Can you realistically take that on too?
Could there be another way to approach that?
Focus on asking open questions. Open questions allow for conversation, for the student to participate in
the discussion in thinking critically, recognizing potential obstacles, and coming up with solutions to their
own problems with you as a guide.
Converting Closed to Open Questions: Restate the question with the word what or how.
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2. Solution-oriented Questions (SOQs)
Pieces of advice with a question mark pasted on, a special kind of closed question. Questions that start
with: should you, could you, will you, dont you, can you, or are you.

Shouldnt you ask your instructor about that?
Could you study with a classmate?
Do you think an advisor would know the appropriate courses to take to fulfill your degree
requirements?
Convert to Open Questions without offering a solution:
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3. Seeking the One True Question
There is no such thing as that one question that will get you or the student where you ought to be. If you
get stuck and arent sure how to proceed with the conversation, use cues such as Tell me more or What
else? Or pick the most significant thing the student has shared, repeat it in their exact words, and then ask
them to expand on it.


Adapted from: Stoltzfus, T. (2008). Coaching questions: A coachs guide to powerful asking skills. Virginia Beach, VA:
Coach 22.


4. Rambling Questions
Asking the same question in three different ways or stringing together five different nuances or potential
answers along the way. The rambling questions tend to confuse people. Avoid asking the rambling question
to fill the silence as you work through what you really want to ask/say.

Allow yourself the space to think through your response to what the student has brought up, silence for a
brief moment is okay. Let go of your agenda that is likely driving your rambling questions.

Ask the question once, stop, and see where the student chooses to take it.

5. Interpretive Questions
When the question we raise is interpretive of what the student said. For example, the student says:

Its tough to get the energy to go to this evening class. The instructor lectures for three hours.
After a long day at work thats the last thing I need. Im struggling to stay interested in the class. Im
thinking about withdrawing.

An interpretive question would be, How long have you hated this course?

The student is thinking, I never said that I hated the course, Im just having a hard time staying alert
and interested.

When you make interpretive remarks or pose interpretive questions you run the risk of the student
shutting down because of not being heard. Incorporate the students own words in your questions.
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6. Rhetorical Questions
Statements of your own opinion of the situation, often emotional or judgmental, that typically result in no
response or a defensive one.

What were you thinking!?
Isnt that just a cop-out?
Avoid these types of questions. Give some thought as to what about the student and situation is triggering
such a response and how can you manage your own thoughts without projecting judgment or negativity.


Adapted from: Stoltzfus, T. (2008). Coaching questions: A coachs guide to powerful asking skills. Virginia Beach, VA:
Coach 22.


7. Leading Questions
You may not realize you are doing so, but the way you structure your question in this case leads
the student to the answer or course of action you want.


How would you describe that feeling: disappointed?
Weve spent a lot of time processing this over the past few visits: are you ready to make a
decision now?
It seems like this course aligns with your interests right now, but this other one would be
more beneficial in the long haul. Which one do you want to choose?
If you catch yourself asking a leading question you can redeem it by offering other options, giving
the student an opportunity to choose how to respond as opposed to just agreeing with you.

8. Neglecting to Interrupt
Letting your student ramble on and on, sharing irrelevant details. You are charged with managing the
conversation, so its important to interject to help bring things back to focus. An example interjection is,
You mentioned XYZ earlier. Lets come back to that.

9. Interrupting
Frequent interruptions can be perceived as dishonoring and frustrating to talk to not the kind of image
you want to cultivate as a Success Coach. Example interruptions:

Interruption: Interrupt or make a comment while the student was still talking
Talking Over: Continuing to talk when the student tried to interrupt you; or when you both start
talking simultaneously, you fail to defer to the student
Talking For: Finishing the students thought for him/her

10.Why Questions
Why questions tend to make people uncomfortable, because they tend to make people feel like they have
to defend their choice or justify their actions. Replace the why with what to avoid putting students on
the defensive:
Why do you think you have a D in that class?
Why cant you talk to your instructor about that?
Convert Why Questions to What Questions:
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Adapted from: Stoltzfus, T. (2008). Coaching questions: A coachs guide to powerful asking skills. Virginia Beach, VA:
Coach 22.