In the revised paragraph and thesis below, Ive changed many things.

First,
I have removed a few sentences that were irrelevant to my thesis, and took
up space for no particular reason. More importantly, Ive inserted a few
sentences that illustrate the conversation aspect of this essay. Ive
carefully structured this paragraph to allow Dove and Konnikova to
complement their respective arguments, and support my thesis.
Thesis: Since the debut of A Study in Scarlet, scholars have examined the
rising popularity of Holmes and Watson, the dynamic crime-solving partners,
and the extent to which they have mirrored the societal values of the late
Victorian era.
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes caught fame very quickly; the
audience, comprised mainly of middle-class Europeans, responded
ecstatically to these collections of twelve stories. To the readers, Holmes was
a hero with superhuman intuition and deductive skills; He solved mysteries
using a rigorously proven thought approach, and nobody else was better at
it than him. In How to Think like Sherlock Holmes, Maria Konnikova
accentuates upon this thought approach and labels it as System Holmes,
and names the other, less innovative, system after his partner (Konnikova,
18); She argues that it is this system that sets Holmes apart from other,
more amateur, detectives. Perhaps, it is this quality of Holmes that mirrors
the society in which he was created; a society that aimed to make
monumental progress in science and reasoning. George N Dove, known for
The Reader and the Detective Story, also assigns credit to the innovative
structure of these short stories for its immense popularity; he argues that
the structure allows the readers to be directly involved in the plot, and
perhaps even come to their own conclusions. Dove insisted that the readers
cannot be excluded from the tale of deduction, because doing so would
deny them the opportunity to apply their own intellectual capabilities; the
thrill behind solving a mystery would be snatched away from them ,
rendering the mystery aspect of the novel useless (Dove, 1).In A Scandal of
Bohemia, Holmes demonstrates the difference between these two thought
approaches; When John Watson arrives to Holmes residence, he is asked as
to how many steps there are that lead up from the hall to Holmes room.
Watson was unable to answer since he had only seen the steps, and not
observed them. Holmes remarked that there were exactly seventeen steps;
He knew that because he had both seen and observed them (Doyle).