original:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Ill have you k
now I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numer
ous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained
in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are
nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precisi
on the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking
words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet?
Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies acr
oss the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the
storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your
life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in
over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensi
vely trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the U
nited States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your mise
rable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have
known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down
upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you did
nt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over y
ou and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
So Cash version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. Ill have you k
now my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet p
ussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was tryin
g to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking hal
fway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing
and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the fl
oor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sper
m and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to
go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet pa
rked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind
you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper a
nd was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill s
omeone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad t
hat will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-u
ps, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training
, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while
eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day
off and I became captain of our bases football team and starter of the basketbal
l team. I got straight As on the military entrance exams and received more awards
. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japane
se people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to g
o to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomo
rrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Dont be a stranger and rememb
er, I did more in one day than you will your entire life
Alternate: Hey kiddos, My name is John, and what the fuck did you just fucking s
ay about me, you little bitch? All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who haven
t graduated top of their class in the Navy Seals. You are everything bad in the
world. Honestly, have any of you been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qu
aeda? I mean, I guess it s fun making fun of people with less than 300 con?rmed k
ills, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than having n
o training in gorilla warfare. Don t be another target. Just prepare for the sto
rm, maggot. lm pretty much perfect. lm the top sniper in the entire US armed force
s, and I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never
been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. What secret network of sp
ies can you contact, other than hurr durr, anonomouse iz lejun? I also am extensiv
ely trained in unarmed combat, and have access to the entire arsenal of the Unit

ed States Marine Corps. (It just blew up; shit was SO blast). You are all faggot
s who should have held your fucking tongue. Thanks for listening, you goddamn id
iot. Pic Related: It s me and my beach
And another one: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little fag
got? I ll have you know my name is John and I was the captain of a football team
, and was the starter on my basketball team and have over 300 confirmed girlfrie
nds. I am trained in Guido warfare and I hate every single one of you. You are n
othing to me but just fat, retarded lowlifes. I will get straight As the likes of
which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You thin
k you can get pussy that easily? Think again, fucker. As we speak my girlfriend
is blowing me (Shit is SO cash). You re everything bad in the world, faggot. I c
an be anywhere, anytime, and I am pretty much perfect in over 700 different ways
. Not only do you jerk off to pictures on facebook, but you spend every single s
econd of your day looking at stupid ass pictures. If only you could have known w
hat unholy retribution your little "cash" comment was about to bring down upon y
ou, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn t stop being a
stranger, you didn t hit me with your best shot, and now you re jerking off to
naked drawn Japanese pictures. I will shit fury all over you and I will take it
to a whole new level. You re a faggot who should just kill yourself. Thanks for
listening.
Lord of The Rings version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I ll have you
know I graduated top of my class in the Shire Seals, and I ve been involved in
numerous secret raids on Mordor, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am train
ed in Gollum warfare and I m the top hobbit in the entire Hobbiton armed forces.
You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out wit
h precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Middle-Earth,
mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me on
a ring? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of s
pies across Gondor and your master is being traced right now so you better prepa
re for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you
call your life. You re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can
kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that s just with my bare hands. Not on
ly am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire a
rsenal of the Rohirrim and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserab
le ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have kn
own what unholy retribution your little "clever" ring was about to bring down up
on you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn t, you did
n t, and now you re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all ov
er you and you will drown in it. You re fucking dead, Sauron.
Death Note version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you kn
ow I graduated top of Japan and Im responsible for heart attacks of criminals wor
ld wide, and I have 124,925 confirmed kills. I trained myself to be the best in
a battle of wits and Im the god of this new world. You are nothing to me but just
another name. I will wipe you the fuck out in a method that you cant even compre
hend, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to
me over the internet? Think again fucker. As we speak I am contacting all my fo
llowers and your personal file is being brought to my location right now so you
better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic litt
le thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime
and kill you in over 2 million differant ways, and thats just with my notebook. N
ot only am I extensively trained in finding out your name, but I have access to
the entire arsenal of over 30 thousand world wild followers and I will use them
to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of this continent,

you little shit.

lever statement
king tounge. But
mn idiot. I will
ead, kiddo

If only you could have known what holy retribution your little c
was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would of held you fuc
you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you god da
shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking d

Camelot version:
What the flip did thee just flipping gabble about me, thine miniscule bitch? Ill
have thee know I bested the most prestigious jousting class in the whole of Came
lot, and I hath been involved in numerous secret marches on behalf of his Majest
y, King Arthur, and I hath over 300 confirmed victories on horseback. I am train
ed in castle of Guerrilla warfare and I am indeed the highest ranking joustee in
the entire land of Great Britannia. Thee are nothing to me but another false cr
ossbearer. I will joust thine shambles with precision the likes of which hath ne
ver been observed in the Kings lands, mark my flipping words! Thou think thou can
escape retribution by shouting that hogwash at me from afar? I implore thee to
think again, peasant. As we converse I am contacting my secretive network of kni
ghts across the realm and thine footsteps are being traced right now, so thou be
st prepare thineself for the storm, pig-maggot! The storm that wipes out the pat
hetic little thing thou call your armour. Thou art a flipping dead man. I can be
anywhere, anytime, and I can kill thou in over seven hundred ways, and thats jus
t with my bare lance. Not only am I extensively trained in mounted combat, but I
hath access to the entire arsenal of the Kings Royal Army, and I shall use it t
o its full extent to wipe your miserable derriere off the face of the realm, tho
u miniscule feaces. If only thou could have foreseen what unholy retribution you
r little clever challenge was about to bring down upon thee, maybe thou would have
held thee flipping tongue. But thou couldnt, thou didnt, and now thee art paying
the price, you goddamn fool. I shall shit fury all over thou britches and thee w
ill drown in it. Thou art flipping dead, child.
Warhammer 40k version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you worthless heretic? I ll hav
e you know I graduated top of my class in the Space Marines, and I ve led an inc
omprehensible number of secret raids against the forces of chaos, and I have ove
r 30 million confirmed purgings. I am trained in armored warfare and I m the top
Ultramarine in all the Space Marine Chapters. You are nothing to me but just an
other heretic. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which ha
s never been seen before in this universe, mark my fucking words. You think you
can get away with saying that shit to me over the Warp? Think again, fucker. As
we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the galaxy and your p
owers are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. Th
e storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You re fuck
ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hund
red ways, and that s just with my bolter. Not only am I extensively trained in u
narmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Adeptus Mechanicus
and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of
the planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution
your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would
have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re payi
ng the price, you goddamn idiot.
Mexican Cartel version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you puta pequeno? Ill have you k
now I graduated top of my class in Los Zetas, and Ive been involved in numerous e
xecutions on the Sinaloas, and I have over 300 public beheadings. I am trained i
n chainsaw warfare and Im the top decapitator in all of Juarez. You are nothing t
o me but just another head waiting to be severed. I will detatch it with a lack

of precision and cutting force the likes of which has never been seen before on
this Earth. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Inte
rnet? Think again, gringo. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mari
achi bands across the USA and a narcocorrido is being written about you right no
w so you better prepare for the chainsaw, gordo. The chainsaw that wipes out the
pathetic little thing you call your head. Youre fucking dead, paco. I can be any
where, anytime, and I can kill you in exactly one way, and thats with my brand ne
w Husqvarna 440 chainsaw. Not only am I extensively trained in chainsaw combat,
but I have access to the entire arsenal of the local hardware store and I will u
se it to its full extent to wipe your miserable head off the face of the body, y
ou little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little
clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f
ucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you godd
amn idiot. I will shit fury all over your head and your head will come off in it
. Youre fucking dead, gringo.
Swag version:
What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I ll have yo
u know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I ve been involved in nu
merous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in we
aring snapbacks and I m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothin
g to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the
likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtag
s. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the In
ternet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of
swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for
the yolo, nigga. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your
swag. You re fucking dead, nigga. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag
in over seven hundred ways, and that s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only
am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to
the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swagginess to wipe you
r miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non-trend follower. I will s
wag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You re fucking dead, nigga.
Hipster version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pleb? I ll have you
know I graduated top of my class in Art School, and I ve been involved in numero
us listens of NMH on vinyl , and I have over 3000 confirmed songs in my Foobar 2
000 playlist. I am trained in songwriting and tumblr use and I m the top vinyl c
ollector in the record store I work at. You are nothing to me but just another m
ainstream listening pleb. I will wipe you the fuck out with music the likes of w
hich has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think
you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fuc
ker. As we speak I am readying my field recordings, be prepared for a storm of 2
deep4u. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your taste.
Not only am I extensively trained in tumblr use, but I have access to the entire
collection over at Amoeba Records and I will use it to its full extent to bette
r your miserable pleb taste. If only you could have known what unholy retributio
n your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would
have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re pay
ing the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit obscurity all over you and you wil
l drown in it. You re a fucking pleb, kiddo.
Special Ed version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I ll have you
know I graduated top of my class in the Special Ed, and I ve been involved in n
umerous secret raids on the candy drawer, and I have over 300 confirmed gold sta

rs. I am trained in gorilla conversation and I m the top crafter in the entire U
S education system. You are nothing to me but just another conversation doll. I
will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen
before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with sa
ying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am co
ntacting my secret network of aspies across the USA and your IP is being traced
right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out
the pathetic little thing you call your life. You re fucking dead, kid. I can be
anywhere, anytime, and I can confuse you in over seven hundred ways, and that s
just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed conversat
ion, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Johnson School Gym and I wil
l use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the conti
nent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your
little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have
held your fucking tongue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying th
e price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit spaghetti all over you and you will drow
n in it. You re fucking dead, kiddo.
Kindergarden version:
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I ll have you
know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I ve been involve
d in numerous secret raids on the girl s bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed
noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the ent
ire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will
beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen befor
e on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that
baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am
contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are bei
ng called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junio
r. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You
re in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you i
n over seven hundred ways, and that s just with my bare hands. Not only am I ext
ensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal
of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky
bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could
have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about
to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But y
ou couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you silly doofus. I wi
ll spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You re frickin grounded
, buttmunch.
Planet Neptune version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little red bitch orb? I ll
have you know I graduated top of my class in the gas giants, and I ve been invol
ved in numerous secret raids elliptical orbits, and I have over 300 confirmed st
orms in my might atmostphere. I am the furthest planet in the solar system and I
have the largest liquid water oceans in the known universe. You are nothing to
me but just another point of light. I will wipe you the divert comets at your wi
th precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Earth or mars, mar
k my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over
the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network
of moons across the solar system and your orbital path is being traced right no
w so you better prepare for the apocalypse, maggot. The impact that wipes out th
e pathetic little thing you call your world. Your fucking dead, kid. I can anywh
ere, anytime, and I can kill you with a comet over seven miles wide, and that s
just with my gravity. Not only am I a large body of mass, but I have access to t
he entire arsenal of moons and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your mis
erable ass off the face of the solar system, you little shit. If only you could

have known what unholy retribution you little "clever" comment was about to brin
g down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn t
, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fu
ry all over you and you will drown in it. You re fucking dead, kiddo.
Hitler version:
What ze fuck did you just fucking say about me, you verdammter Jude? I ll have y
ou know I graduated top of mein class in ze Hitlerjugend, and I ve been involved
in numerous secret Gestapo raids in Berlin, and I have over 300 million confirm
ed executions. I am trained in gorilla gassing and I am ze top sniper in ze enti
re Wehrmacht. You are nothing to me but just another race traitor. I will wipe y
ou ze fuck out with precision ze likes of which has never been seen before on th
is Reich, mark mein fucking words. You think you can get away with saying zat sc
heie to me over ze Internet? Think again, arschloch. As vee speak I am contacting
mein secret network of spies across Deutschland and your IP is being traced rig
ht now so you better prepare for ze storm, bldel. Ze storm zat wipes out ze pathe
tic little thing you call your life. You re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere
, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and zat s just with me
in machinenpistole. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed kampf, but I ha
ve access to ze entire arsenal of ze Wehrmacht forces and I will use it to its f
ull extent to wipe your miserable arsch off ze face of ze Reich, you little shit
. If only you could have known what unholy blitzkrieg your little "clever" komme
ntar was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking to
ngue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying ze price, you verdammt
er dummkopf. I will shit Zyklon B all over you and you will drown in it. You re
fucking dead, kiddo.
Shrek version:
What the shrek did you just shreking say about me, you little puss? I ll have yo
u know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Shreks, and I ve been involved in
numerous secret raids on fairytale creatures, and I have over 300 confirmed swa
mps. I am trained in donkeh warfare and I m the top shreker in the entire Duloc
armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will shrek you th
e fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this
swamp, mark my shreking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit
to me over the Internet? Think again, shreker. As we speak I am contacting my se
cret network of pixies across Duloc and your IP is being traced right now so you
better prepare for the storm, swamp maggot. The storm that shreks out the pathe
tic little thing you call your life. You re fucking shreked, kid. I can be anywh
ere, anytime, and I can shrek you in over seven hundred ways, and that s just wi
th my bare ear tube antenna things. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed
shrek, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Duloc Marine Corps and I
will use it to its full extent to shrek your miserable ass off the face of the c
ontinent, you little puss. If only you could have known what unholy retribution
your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would h
ave held your shreking tongue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re payi
ng the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drow
n in it. You re shreking shreked, kiddo.
Dark Night/Batman version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? Ill have you know
I graduated top of my class in the League of Shadows, and Ive been involved in n
umerous secret raids on The mob, and I have beaten over 300 confirmed criminals.
I am trained in ninjitsu and Im the top detective in Gotham You are nothing to m
e but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes
of which has never been seen before in this city, mark my fucking words. You th
ink you can get away with wearing hockey pads? Think again, fucker. As we speak

I am using my secret network of sonar phones across the city and your IP is bein
g traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, scum. The storm that wip
es out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking done, kid. I c
an be anywhere, anytime, and I can beat the shit out of you in over seven hundre
d ways, and thats just with my tangerine. Not only am I extensively trained in un
armed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Lucious Fox and I w
ill use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the con
tinent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution yo
ur little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have he
ld your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price,
you goddamn idiot. I will shit justice all over you and you will drown in it. Y
oure fucking dead, kiddo. Im the goddamn Batman.
DC Comics version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about DC, you little bitch? Ill have you k
now I graduated top of my class in the art college, and Ive been involved in nume
rous secret raids on Anime, and I have over 300 published comics. I am trained i
n gorilla warfare and Im the top publisher in the entire US comics industry. You
are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with pre
cision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fuck
ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Inter
net? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies
across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for
the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call y
our life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you
in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I ext
ensively trained in unarmed bitching, but I have access to the entire arsenal of
lawyers and angry writers on twitter and I will use it to its full extent to wi
pe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only yo
u could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to
bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you cou
ldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fur
y all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
MW3 verson:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Ill have you k
now I graduated top of my class in my MW3 clan, and Ive been involved in numerous
team deathmatches on teams from all over the world, and I have over 3000000000
confirmed kills on my ktd ratio. I am trained in guerrilla warfare and Im the top
sniper in the entire US server of MW3. You are nothing to me but just another f
emale gamer. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has
never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can g
et away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As w
e speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across my gaming forums and y
outube and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm
, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life.
Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytimebecaue my four x-boxes are al
ways running, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with
my ballestic knife. Not only am I extensively trained in backstabs and grenades,
but I have access to noobtubes and aerial strikes and I will use it to its full
extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the x-box server, you little
shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comm
ent was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking ton
gue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot.
I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kidd
o. Say goodbye to your ktd.

NASA version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I ll have you
know I graduated top of my class in the NASA Seals, and I ve been involved in n
umerous secret raids on Mars, and I have over 300 confirmed launches. I am train
ed in rocket science and I m the top astronaut in the entire US space program. Y
ou are nothing to me but just another planet. I will orbit you the fuck out with
precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this solar system, m
ark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me ove
r the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret netwo
rk of aerospace engineers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now s
o you better prepare for the launch, maggot. The launch that launches the pathet
ic little thing you call your life. You re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere,
anytime, and I can launch you to the moon in over seven hundred ways, and that
s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in rocket science,
but I have access to the entire arsenal of the National Aeronautics and Space Ad
ministration and I will use it to its full extent to launch your miserable ass o
ff the face of the planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what un
holy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you,
maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and
now you re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will launch shit all over you
and you will drown in it. You re fucking dead, kiddo
Wolverine version:
What the fuck did you just fucking snikt about me, you little bub? Ill have you k
now I graduated top of my class in the Avengers, and Ive been involved in numerou
s secret raids on Utopia, and I have over 3,000,000 confirmed kills. I am traine
d in gorilla warfare and Im the best at what I do in the entire Canadian armed fo
rces. You are nothing to me but just another bub. I will snikt you the fuck out
with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark
my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about me ove
r the Internet? Think again, bub. As we speak I am contacting my secret network
of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prep
are for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing yo
u call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can
kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only
am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arse
nal of the Royal Canadian Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to w
ipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only y
ou could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about t
o bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you co
uldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fu
ry all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking snikted, bub.
Feminist version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you male pig? I ll have you kno
w I graduated top of my Womyn s Studies class, and I ve been involved in numerou
s demonstrations against oppression of womynkind, and I have over 300 signatures
on my petition. I am trained in debate tactics and I m the top speaker in the e
ntire Feminist Frequency. You are nothing to me but just another cis scum. I wil
l reeducate the fuck out of you with feminism the likes of which has never been
seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away wit
h saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, male oppressor. As we s
peak I am contacting my public network of activists across the USA and your IP i
s being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, misogynist. The st
orm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your worldview. You re fuc
king dead, nerd. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can disprove your biased theo
ries in over seven hundred ways, and that s just with no preparation time. Not o
nly am I extensively trained in rhetorics, but I have access to the entire fundi

ng of the Tropes vs Women in Video Games project and I will use it to its full e
xtent to wipe your miserable opinions off the face of the Internet, you rapist.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" commen
t was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongu
e. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you godessdamn
idiot. I will rain empowerment all over womyn and your cisprivilege will drown
in it. Your rape culture is over, man.
Alternate version: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you sexist p
ig? I ll have you know I graduated top of my class in women s studies, and I ve
been involved in numerous rallies against men, and I have over 300 confirmed div
orces. I am trained in pretending I m allergic to latex and I m the top body pai
nter in the entire class. You are nothing to me but just another misogynist. I w
ill wipe you the fuck out with chants the likes of which has never been heard be
fore on this Earth, mark my fucking tits. You think you can get away with lookin
g at my tits? Think again, sexist. As we speak I am contacting my secret network
of feminists across the USA and your sperm is being traced right now so you bet
ter prepare for child support, maggot. child support that wipes out the pathetic
little thing you call a bank account. You re fucking broke, kid. I can be at an
y feminism rally, anytime I m not at womyn s studies and I can manipulate you in
over seven hundred ways, and that s just with my bare breasts. Not only am I ex
tensively trained in pretending you raped me, but I have access to the entire ar
ray of colors in my art class, and I will use it to its full extent to paint my
body with slogans, you masculine pig. If only you could have known what unholy d
ebt your little clever cumshot was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would h
ave held your fucking orgasm. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re payin
g the price, you goddamn man. My STIs will shit fury all over your dick and you
will drown in it. You re fucking diseased, manno.
Star Wars version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you rebel scum? I ll have you k
now I was the last Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, and I started the Clone W
ars, and I have over 300 controlled solar sectors. I am trained in the Dark Side
of the Force and I m the top Sith in the entire Galactic Empire. Your planet is
nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe it the fuck out with power t
he likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my fucking wor
ds. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the holonet? Thi
nk again, Jedi. As we speak I am contacting my apprentice from across the galaxy
and your rebel base is being traced right now so you better prepare for the 501
st, Jedi scum. The 501st that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your
rebel base. You re fucking dead, Jedi. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kil
l you in over seven hundred ways, and that s just without my lightsaber. Not onl
y am I extensively trained in Dark Side combat, but I have access to the entire
arsenal of the galactic empirial stormtroopers and I will use them to their full
extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the galaxy, you little shit.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" destru
ction of my Death Star was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have re
treated your fucking X wing. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying
the price, you goddamn rebel. I will shoot lightning all over you and you will
drown in it. You re fucking dead, Jedi.
Newfag Response version:
Dude are you for real right now? You have got to be kidding me you fucking faggy
piece of shit. I bet 1000 dollars you are a fucking liar. You fucking guido too
l douchebag.
1. You are too young and shitty to even graduate from school
2. In case you did. How many blowjobs did you give to graduate?
3. Secret raids on Al-Quaeda? I bet you only sucked Osama s dick

4. 300 confirmed kills? I think you meant 300 confirmed anal sex with men
5. It s Guerrilla warfare, you fucking ass douchebag cunt
6. You think your cool for getting trolled for reading this?
7. I don t give a fuck if you come to my house with your spy bitches, I will bea
t the fuck out of you
8. Only with your bare hands? I bet you can only do handjobs, fag
9. The entire arsenal? you are a fucking faggot lier
10. If your SO badass, than why are you on /b/?
11. You better watch yourself because I will fucking hunt you down myself.
Alternate version:
Okay, so you expect me to believe that you were the very best that your generati
on of Navy SEALs had to offer? I highly doubt that. If you were as good as you s
ay you were, i don t think for a second that you would be browsing 4chan. This i
s mostly a place for jobless neckbeards that still live with their parents, and
nerdy high school kids that don t have any friends. It really isn t the place fo
r highly-trained assassins to be hanging out in their spare time. Even if it was
, something far worse than a troll being mean to you probably would have set you
off a long time ago. What about the slew of gore and child pornography that get
s posted here on a regular basis? Isn t that something that deserves a person be
ing hunted down and made to regret their actions? Yeah, you re just not the 4cha
n type. Sure, there s a wide variety of people that browse here, but you re far
from the core demographic if you are who you say you are (which isn t the case).
Even if it were true that you re an incredibly talented soldier, I think all th
e military discipline would prevent you from getting mad enough to murder some r
andom idiot on the internet. I also doubt that even the best SEALs have a "secre
t network of spies across the USA". Why would all of the most expanisive Big Bro
ther network in the world be willing to help a troubled PTSD-sufferer hunt down
some random kid on the internet? That doesn t even make sense. If you re gonna t
ry to scare somebody, make it more believable than "IM A SUPER SOLDIER HURR DURR
". You might frighten a thirteen year old who doesn t know any better, but to mu
st of us you just look like a kid with an anger problem and a very active imagin
ation. Hopefully things will be easier for you when your puberty s over. Best of
luck with that... kiddo
Stoner version:
What the bong did you just fucking say about me, you little stoner? I ll have yo
u know I smoked the most ganja in my class at Washington State University, and I
ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the fridge when I get the munchies
, and I have over 420 confirmed puffs. I am trained in lighting blunts in the ra
in and I m the top stoner in the entire city of Seattle. You are nothing to me b
ut just another joint. I will light you up with precision the likes of which has
never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words bro. You think you
can get away with selling that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker
. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of dealers across the USA and yo
ur strain is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, bro. Th
e storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your crop. You re fuck
ing baked, kid. I can smoke anywhere, anytime, and I can smoke blunts you in ove
r seven hundred ways, and that s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensiv
ely trained in one-hand smoking, but I have access to the entire hydroponic gree
nhouse of the Northwest and I will use it to its full extent to get high as a ki
te. I will spray bong water all over you and you will drown in it. I m fucking b
lazed, officer.
Elder Scrolls versions:
What in the name of Talos did you just say to me, you milk drinker? I ll have yo
u know I am the Dragonborn, and I ve been on numerous raids on dragons and I hav
e over 300 dragon souls. I am trained in the Thu um and I m the top archer in th

e entire Imperial Legion. You are nothing to me but just another enemy. I will k
ill you with arrows the likes of which has never been seen before on Nirn, mark
my words. You think you can just say that to me over the webs created by the Dwe
mer? Think again, milk drinker. As we speak I am contacting my Dark Brotherhood
assassins across Tamriel and your hold is being traced right now so you better p
repare for the Call Storm shout, milk drinker. The storm that wipes out the path
etic little thing you call Mundus. You are going to be sent to Aetherius, milk d
rinker. I can be at any hold, any time, and can kill you in over seven hundred w
ays, and that s just with my Thu um. Not only am I extensively trained in unarme
d combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Imperial Legion and I w
ill use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Mundus,
you milk drinker. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your lit
tle "clever" opinionated statement was about to bring down upon you, maybe you w
ould have held your tongue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying
the price, you fool. I will shout fury all over you and you will drown in it. Yo
u re dead, milk drinker.
Alternate version: By the Nine Divines! What did you just say about me, you litt
le skeeverbutt? I ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the College of
Winterhold, and I ve been known to cast one hell of a fireball, and I have over
300 confirmed summons. I am trained in daedric warfare and I m the swords maste
r of the entire Imperial forces. You are nothing to me but just another target.
I will make you beg to Akatosh as I bend you over like a common whelp, mark my w
ords, on my oath as the Dovahkiin. You think you can come into my mind through t
his magic device and insult me? Think again, scum. As we speak I have every assa
ssin and thief across all of Tamriel looking for your initial position so you be
tter prepare for the storm atronach, you Draugr. The storm atronach that wipes o
ut the pathetic little husk you call your life. I can be anywhere, anytime, and
I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that s just with my dragon shouts
! Not only am I extensively trained in archery and horseback riding, but I have
access to the entire congregation of the Thieves Guild, Dark Brotherhood, Mages
College, and untold hordes of Daedric warriors, and I will use every one of them
to banish you to the plane of Oblivion. If only you could have had the clairvoy
ance to see what divine retribution your little "clever" runes were about to bri
ng down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue you dark skin. But you c
ouldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will
become the embodiment of Mehrunes Dagon, and open a portal to Oblivion the likes
of which you have never seen. You re fucking dead, milk-drinker.
Christian version:
What in the Lord s name did you just say about me, you little bitch? I ll have y
ou know I graduated top of my class in Ministry school, and I have over 300 conf
irmed conversions. I am trained in the Baptist religion and I m the top missiona
ry in the entire Christian world. You are nothing to me but another infidel. I w
ill teach you the word of God with the largest gospel choir that has ever been s
een, mark my words. You think you can get away with rejecting Christ? Think agai
n, sinner. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of pastors and priests
across the USA and you re going to be forced to accept Jesus as your lord and sa
viour, so you better prepare for your baptism, sir. The baptism that wipes out t
he pathetic little thing you call atheism. You re Christian soon, sir. I can tea
ch you anywhere, anytime, and I can preach in over seven hundred languages, and
that s just off the top of my head. Not only am I extensively trained in recitin
g the bible from memory, but I have access to the entire literature of the Archd
iocese of the Americas and I will use it to its full extent to bring you into Ch
ristianity, you little atheist. If only you could have known what unholy retribu
tion your heresy was about to bring down upon you, maybe you wouldn t have chall
enged the existence of God. But you couldn t, you didn t and now you re paying t
he price, you goddamned sinner. I will teach Christianity all over you and you w
ill drown in it. You ll be a believer soon, kiddo.

Christian Evangelist version:

What in the devils name did yall just say about me, you little sinner? Ill have you
know I graduated top of my class in Bible School, been involved in numerous Bil
ly Graham crusades, and have over 300 confirmed soul-savings. I am trained in Ne
w Testament apologetics and am the top converter in the entire Baptist Church. Ya
ll aint nothin to me but another sinnin atheist. I will bring you to Jesus with a p
assion the likes of which aint never before been seen on this Earth, yall mark wha
t Im sayin. You think you can get away with that there sinful talk over the Intern
et? Think again, pagan. As we speak Im contactin my secret network of deacons acro
ss the USA and your local church address is being traced right now so you better
prepare for the sermon, devils child. The sermon that wipes the blackness right
out of your soul. Your sinful days are over, kid. I can radio evangelize anywher
e, anytime, and I can bring you to Jesus in over 700 different ways, and thats ju
st with bare Bible verses. Not only am I extensively trained in hermeneutics, bu
t I have access to the entire hymnal collection of the Protestant Church and I w
ill use it to its full extent to see that you know who the Lord Jesus is. If onl
y you could have known what kind of fire and brimstone preachin your little clever
comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your blasphe
mous tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre payin the tithe, you unredeem
ed heathen. Youre goin to Hell.
Atheist version:
What in the name of science did you just say about me, you little bitch? I ll ha
ve you know I graduated top of my class in Evolutionary Quantum Physics, and I h
ave over 300 featured publications. I am trained in the Theory of Evolution and
I m the top scholar in the entire scientific world. You are nothing to me but an
other non thinker. I will teach you the Evolution of the human genome with the l
argest amount of scientific proof that has ever been seen; mark my words. You th
ink you can get away with still believing in God? Think again, bigot. As we spea
k I am contacting my secret network of top scientists and scholars across the US
A and you re going to be forced to accept science and reason, so you better prep
are for your awakening, sir. The awakening that wipes out the pathetic little th
ing you call christianity. You ll be educated soon, sir. I can teach you anywher
e, anytime, and I can recite by name over seven hundred common ancestors of man,
and that s just off the top of my head. Not only am I extensively trained in sc
ientific debate, but I have access to the entire literature of the University of
Cambridge and I will use it to its full extent to bring you into Atheism, you l
ittle Jesus lover. If only you could have known what retribution your belief sys
tem was about to bring down upon you, maybe you wouldn t have challenged Atheism
. But you couldn t, you didn t and now you re paying the price, you goddamned ch
ristian. I will teach the Theory of Evolution all over you and you will drown in
it. You ll be an Atheist soon, kiddo
Toontown version:
What the foghorn did you just ruffing say about me, you little noob? Ill have you
know I ve soloed the Trolley of Toontown Central and Im responsible for the dati
ng shows of cats via Toon Valley, and I have 195 pink slips. I trained my toon t
o be the best in a battle of level twelves and Im the 137 of this district. You a
re nothing to me but just another moocher. I will wipe you the heckle out in a m
ethod called reporting , mark my words. You think you can get away with saying m
eow to me on Toontown? Think again NOOB. As we speak I am contacting all my 100
laff friends and your toon is being brought to my location right now so you bett
er prepare for greening, parker. The greening that wipes out the lovely things y
ou call your level seven gags. Youre being sent back to the playground, kid. I ca
n be in any lobby, anytime and green you in over 4 different bosses, and thats ju
st with my 34 laff uber. Not only am I trained in soloing the CEO, but I have te

leport access for all of the playgrounds including the headquarters. If only you
could have known what your crappy gameplay was about to bring down upon you, ma
ybe you would of trained your gags more efficiently. But you didnt, and now youre
paying the price, I will bring you into the VP to green you. I will also dc you
in the middle of a back nine and you will cry over it. Youre getting disconnected
. Love your friendly little lacker.
Kirby version:
What the poyo did you just say, you Waddle Dee? I ll have you know I m responsib
le for crashing the Halberd over 10 times, and I have over 30 confirmed copy abi
lities! I am trained in sucking and I m the best Star Warrior in all of Popstar.
You are nothing to me but just another copy essence. I will suck you with power
you ve never seen before, mark my poyo. You think you can get away with knockin
g my copy ability away? Think again, Bronto. As we speak I am contacting my secr
et network of clones across the Galaxy and your location is being traced right n
ow so you better prepare for the wind, Doo. The wind that sucks out the pathetic
little thing you call existence. You re fucking food now, enemy. I can kill you
as anything, anytime, and that s just with my mouth. Not only am I extensively
trained in sucking, but I have the skills of blowing stars, which will blow you
off this planet, you demon. If only you could have known what super tuff pink pu
ff you just rang in with your collision damage, maybe you would have walked away
. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you Waddle Dee.
I will open my mouth and suck like a vacuum. You re getting swallowed. -Aege
Wizard101 version:
What the fizzle did you just frickin say about me, you Private? I ll have you k
now I soloed the Tutorial, and I ve been involved in a myriad amounts of puppeti
ng cases in ranked PVP, and I have 101 registered PVP wins. I am trained to be t
he best in my school and I m the Warlord of this realm. You are nothing to me bu
t just another Lost Soul. I will dispel your spells the fuck out of the spiral w
ith a number amount of treasure cards that you dare not count, mark my magical w
ords. You think you can get away with whispering noob after losing to me? Think
again, novice. As we speak, I am contacting my Promethean Warlord friends and yo
u are being puppeted so you better prepare for the spells. The spells that drain
out the pathetic thing with the pathetic number you call your life points. You
re fucking screwed, kid. I can cast any spell, anytime, and I can kill you in on
e hit, and that s just with my pet. Not only am I extensively trained in gearles
s combat, but I have access to all the worlds in the Spiral which includes your
house and I will use it to haunt you off Wizard101, you little adept. If only yo
u could have known what imminent punishment your little taunt was about to bring
down upon you, maybe you would have casted the proper shield or dispel. But you
couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you fizzling noob. I wil
l dispel you all over and make you cry from the fizzle. You re going to the Comm
ons.
SSBB version:
What the melee did you just taunting say about me, you little primid? I ll have
you know I m the top of all the tourneyfags in my country, and I ve been involve
d in the raid of Subspace, and I have over 1000 confirmed meteor smashes. I am t
rained in wiimote brawling and I m the top brawler in the bottom tier. You are n
othing to me but just another level "puny". I will wipe you out with skill you h
aven t averaged on your daily replay, mark my words. You think you can get away
with saying "Yes!" to me on Wifi? Think again, Ganon. As we speak I am contactin
g my Tourneyfag friends and your CDs and stickers are being stolen, so you bette
re prepare for the falcon, noob. The falcon that punches out the pathetic ellips
es you call your live stock. You re fucking KO d, kid. I can be anyone, any colo
r, and I can kill you over 5 times, and that s just with one life. Not only am I

extensively trained in close combat, but I have access to the entire items list
ed in Brawl, and Melee, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your lives
off the stage, you little noob. If only you could have known what combo kill you
r little taunt was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have paused you
r fingers. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you go
ddamn noob. I will sling punches all over you and you will be Star Ko d. You re
fucking owned, primid.
Hacker version:
What the fuck did you just fucking type about me, you little bitch? Ill have you
know I graduated top of my class at MIT, and Ive been involved in numerous secret
raids with Anonymous, and I have over 300 confirmed DDoSes. I am trained in onl
ine trolling and Im the top hacker in the entire world. You are nothing to me but
just another virus host. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes
of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You
think you can get away with typing that shit to me over the Internet? Think agai
n, fucker. As we chat over IRC I am tracing your IP with my damn bare hands so y
ou better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic l
ittle thing you call your computer. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, a
nytime, and I can hack into your files in over seven hundred ways, and thats just
with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have ac
cess to the entire arsenal of every piece of malware ever created and I will use
it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the world wide
web, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your
little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held
your fucking fingers. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price,
you goddamn idiot. I will shit code all over you and you will drown in it. Youre
fucking dead, kiddo.
WoW version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about my gear, you little n00b? Ill have y
ou know I am a lvl 90 Undead Arcane Mage, and Ive won so many PVP matches, and I
have done raids on every 10 man heroic dungeon. I also have a fuckton of macros
and I have a GS of 10K. You are nothing to me but just a lvl 12 gnome hunter. I
will pwn the fuck out of you with Arcane Missiles the likes of which has never b
een seen before on Azeroth AND Outland, mark my fucking words. You think you can
get away with saying that shit to me over raid? Think again, fucker. As we spea
k I am contacting my guild of mages and shamans across The Eastern Kingdoms and
your character is being targeted right now so you better prepare for the ownage,
n00b. The Arcane Barrage that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your
character. Youre fucking pwnd, n00b. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill y
ou in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my secondary talent tree. Not
only am I extensively trained in Arcane magic, but I have access to the entire a
rsenal of Fire magic and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable
neckbeard off the face of Azeroth, you little faggot. If only you could have kn
own what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upo
n you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt,
and now youre getting debuffed, you goddamnn00b. I will shit Dragons Breath all ov
er you and you will burn in it. Youre fucking pwnd, faggot.
Mormon version:
What the freak did you just flipping say about me, you little Apostate? Ill have
you know I graduated top of my class in Seminary, and Ive been involved in numero
us splits with the Elders, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained
in the Commitment Pattern and I was the top converter in the entire Church. You
are nothing to me but just another unfaithful servant. I will dust my feet at yo
u with precision the likes of which has never been seen before upon the face of

the Earth, mark my freaking words. You think you can get away with saying that "
anti" stuff to me over the Internet? Think again, brother. As we speak I am cont
acting my sacred network of Danites across the USA and your IP is being traced r
ight now so you better prepare for the brimstone, maggot. The brimstone that wip
es out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre flipping dead, kid. I
can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cast you out in over seven hundred ways, and
thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in the laying o
n of hands, but I have access to the Signs and Tokens of the Holy Temple and I w
ill use them to their full extent to smite your miserable kiester all the way to
Kolob, you little turd. If only you could have known what holy retribution your
little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would not have
spoken ill of the Lord s Anointed. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying
the price, you stinking idiot. I will let Satan s water wash over you and you w
ill drown in it. Youre flipping dead, kiddo.
The Beatles version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about The Beatles you fucking mod? Ill hav
e you know I graduated top of my media class studying Hard Day s Night, and Ive b
een involved in numerous secret gigs with Paul McCartney, and I have over 300 bo
otlegged Beatles records. I am trained in George s riffs and Im the top fan in t
he entire Beatles fan club. You are nothing to me but just another The Who fan.
I will play you the fuck off with a Day Tripper riff the likes of which has nev
er been seen before on even the Ed Sullivan show, mark my fucking words. You thi
nk you can get away with saying that shit about The Beatles over the Internet? T
hink again, rocker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Beatles tri
bute bands across the Beatles fan club and our Epiphone Casinos are being playe
d right now so you better prepare for the festival, maggot. The festival that wi
pes out the pathetic little thing you call The Who. Youre fucking Phillip Spector
, kid. I can play anywhere, anytime, and I own Bootlegs of their recordings in o
ver seven hundred takes, and thats just the White Album. Not only am I extensivel
y trained in John Lennon s one-liners, but I have access to the entire tablature
of the Beatles discography and I will play it to its full extent to rock your
miserable ass back to the USSR, you little shit. If only you could have known wh
at fabulous retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon yo
u, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and
now youre paying for tickets, you goddamn mod. I will play From Me To You and you
will drum to it. Youre fucking less popular than Jesus, kiddo.
Newfag/Troll version:
What the faggot did you just fucking troll about me, newfag? I ll have you know
that I am the top graduate of Internet Fag Lords Anon, and I have been involved
in numerous Internet Raids, and I have delivered over 4189 confirmed trolls. I a
m trained in raiding bitches and I am the top troller in the entire 4Chan /b/ Co
mmunity. You are nothing to me but another newfag, and I will not hesitate to bi
tch at you until you feel like you must fight me IRL, you cock monging whore. Yo
u think you can get away with exploiting the fact that I m only an internet warr
ior? Think again, assclown. As we speak, I am contacting my hacker friends and t
hey are already tapping into your faggot ass iPhone, so you better prepare for t
he hacking. The hacking that viruses your bitch iPhone you call a fucking real p
iece of technology. You re fucking trolled, newfag. I can anon anywhere, anytime
, and I troll in over seven hundred ways, and that s just while I m on my Androi
d. Not only am I extensively trained in trolling and bitching, but I have access
to the entire 9Fag and Raddit Communities and I will use them to their fullest
extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the internet, you little newfa
g. If only you could have known what ungodly fag lording your little "clever" co
mment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking b
roswag. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you newfa
g piece of shit. I will rage fury all over you and you will lag in it. You re fu

cking trolled, newfag.

iPhone Salesman version:
What the iOS did you just say about Apple, you little Android ? I ll have you kn
ow I graduated top of my class in business marketing, and I ve been involved in
numerous lawsuit investigations in Apple, and I have over 300 confirmed iPhone s
ales. I am trained in Phone warfare and I m the top businessman in the entire US
cell phone company business. You are nothing to me but just another jailbreaker
. I will outsell you with precision the likes of which has never been seen befor
e on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with trying to jailbr
eak around me? Think again. As we speak I am contacting my secret Facetime netwo
rk of geeks across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better p
repare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out your gigabytes and gives
me all your money. Your tricks are mine, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I
can stop you from jailbreaking in over seven hundred ways, and that s just with
my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in selling iPhones, but I have
access to the entire arsenal of Apple Products and I will use it to its full ext
ent to wipe your entire monthly plan. If only you could have known what unholy r
etribution of trying to jailbreak and trying to download apps for free would bri
ng you, maybe you would have not of jailbreaked at all. But you couldn t, you di
dn t, and now you re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all o
ver your malevolent goals and you will watch me with your bricked iPod as you re
you and your shit music is taken away in a police van. I m fucking rich, kiddo.
Yu-Gi-Oh version:
What the Shadow Realm did you just fucking say about me, you little low level du
elist? I ll have you know I graduated top of Obelisk Blue in Dueling Academy, an
d I ve been involved in numerous secret duels in Battle City, and I have over 30
0 confirmed Blue-Eyes White Dragons. I am trained in Duel Monsters warfare and I
m the top Duelist in the entire Kaiba Corporation. You are nothing to me but ju
st another Kuriboh. I will summon monsters with precision the likes of which has
never been seen before on this Duelist Kingdom, mark my fucking words. You thin
k you can get away with saying that shit to me over the other side of the Arena?
Think again, Pegasus. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of friends
across the globe and your mind is being crushed right now so you better switch t
o defense mode, and defend your life points. The Dark Hole that wipes out the pa
thetic little thing you call a field. Your girlfriend is dead, you fruit booty a
nime villain. I can be two people anywhere, anytime, and I can end this duel in
over seven hundred ways, and that s just with my Celtic Guardian. Not only am I
extensively trained in ancient Egyptian, but I have access to the Millennium Ite
ms of the United States Army and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your m
iserable Toon World off the face of the Battlefield, you little weirdo. If only
you could have known what unholy retribution your little Millennium Eye comment
was about to bring down upon humanity, maybe you would have held your cards in h
and. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, Pegasus. I w
ill unleash fury all over the arena and then I will Mind Shuffle in it. You re f
ucking dead, Pegasus.
Minecraft version:
What the craft did you just say to me you little creeper? I ll have you know I g
raduated top of my class in the Mithrina Academy, and have been involved in nume
rous secret griefs with Team Avolition, and I have griefed over 300 servers. I a
m trained in creeper warfare and I m the top skeleton in all of the minecraft gr
iefing teams in existance. You are nothing to me but just another block. I will
blow you up with precisiion the likes of which has never been seen before in thi
s blocky world. Mark my fucking pickaxe. You think you can get away with griefin
g me like that? Think again, blockhead. As we speak I am contacting my secret ne

twork of creepers across my server and your coords traced right now so you bette
r prepare for the storm, zombie. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little th
ing you call your life. You re blocking dead, kid. I can teleport anywhere, anyt
ime, and I can kill you in over 700 ways, and that s just with my wooden sword.
Not only am I extensively trained in PvP, but I have have access to all the ches
ts on my server and I will use them to their full extent to ban your miserable b
lock off the face of the server, you little block. If ony you could have known w
hat unholy retribution your "clever" comment was about to TNT down upon you. May
be you would have held your fucking pickaxe. But you couldn t, you didn t, and n
ow you re paying the price, you blockhead. I will drop gravel all over you, and
you will suffocate in it. You re blocking dead, blockface.
Polite Gentleman version:
I say, what the devil did you just audaciously proclaim about my well-being, you
trollop? I shall inform you that I have graduated top of my class at the Gentle
man s Academy of Sophisticated Persons, and have been involved in numerous endea
vors with the Ruffians down the street from my abode; might I also add that I ve
accumulated over 300 pieces of antique furniture? I am educated in fine dining
and high class catering and I m the top Victorian era furniture appraiser in the
entire high society. You are naught to me but a simple, uncouth brute. I shall
embarrass the dickens out of you with class the likes of which has never been wi
tnessed before on this humble planet, I solemnly promise. You assume you can dis
respect my image on the internet? Think again, savage. As we speak I am contacti
ng my diligent secretary to arrange a brunch together at the finest coffee shop
in town, so you had better prepare a fetching enough outfit to compete with my i
mmaculate attire, barbarian. The brunch that sends you packing back to the count
ryside. You are inevitably defeated, heathen. I can be booked at any appointment
, any hour, and I can educate you in over seven hundred cultures, and that s jus
t with the literary selection in my guest lobby. Not only am I extensively fluen
t in in several languages, I have access to the entire Giorgio Armani fall colle
ction and I will flaunt it s finely tailored mastery to outshine your drab, comm
on appearance off the face of humanity, you slob. If only you had foreseen the k
ind of comeuppance your inflammatory "insignificant" comment was bound to earn y
ou, perhaps you would have tempered your words. But you insisted, and now I will
teach you manners and grace and you will learn dignity and poise, yet. Consider
yourself in etiquette school, peasant.
Mass Effect version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Vorcha? I ll have yo
u know I graduated top of my class in the Systems Alliance, and I ve been involv
ed in numerous secret raids on Batarian Pirates, Collectors, and Cults, and I ha
ve over 3000 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I m the top sn
iper in the entire Systems Alliance. You are nothing to me but just another targ
et. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never bee
n seen before in this Galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away
with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak
I am contacting The Shadow Broker and your IP is being traced right now through
the Extranet, so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes
out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You re fucking dead, kid. I ca
n be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that
s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat,
but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Systems Alliance and I will use i
t to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, y
ou little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little
"clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held yo
ur fucking tongue. But you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price
, you goddamn Vorcha. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Yo
u re fucking dead, kiddo.

Medieval Crusader version:

What slanderous attacks hast thou thrown against my good name, thou contemptible
wench? Whereas I have risen even unto the foremost rank in the Royal Admiralty;
whereas I have on many an occasion partaken in clandestine crusades against the
Saracens; whereas by mine hands have fallen barbarians numbering some fifteen s
core; whereas I am most skilled in the ways of the ape warrior; whereas I am the
premier marksman amongst all of our Kingdom s knights: Thou art in my sights bu
t yet another quarry. The Lord be my witness, I shall smite thee as no-one under
the sun hath heretofore been smitten. Dost thou deign to fancy thyself secure t
o cast thy spittle upon my face from behind the Spider s Veil? Then thou hast wa
ndered into grievous error. Yea, even at this very moment, I am sending word acr
oss the land to my fellow Templars, and the provenance of thy scrivenings shall
in short time become known unto me. A veritable maelstrom of vengeance is upon t
hy gates, thou wretched worm, which surely shall obliterate thy loathsome preten
sion of life. Truly, thou art foregone, child. I move as swift as the wind, and
with mine own two hands I may at my pleasure slay thee in any of thirty and five
score modes. For verily as I am a master in the pugilistic arts, even so doth t
he manifold armory of the Royal Guard lie at my beck and call, which in its plen
itude of power I shall not delay to unleash upon thee, that thy ftid flesh may no
longer pollute this land with its presence, thou pitiful putrescence. Would tha
t thou couldst have foreseen what great wrath thou hast by thy "brazen" jocosity
summoned upon thyself! Perhaps thou wouldst have rather kept shut thy filth-spe
wing mouth. But neither couldst thou thus foresee, nor didst thou take heed of p
rudence, and thou art now reaping what thou hast sown, thou accursd simpleton. I
will excrete rage all round about thee, wherein shalt thou be consumed. Thou has
t shuffled off this mortal coil, urchin.
Mario version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little goomba? Ill have you
know I graduated top of my class in the plumber program at the technical school,
and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Bower s castle, and I have ove
r 300 power stars. I am trained in unclogging toilets and Im the top plumber in t
he entire Mushroom Kingdom. You are nothing to me but just another koopaling. I
will jump on your head with precision the likes of which has never been seen bef
ore in this Super Mario World, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away
with hiding the princess in another castle? Think again, goomba. As we speak I
am contacting my secret network of Yoshis and your IP is being traced right now
so you better prepare for the storm, shy guy . The storm that wipes out the path
etic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, lakitu. I can be anywhe
re, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with f
lower power. Not only am I extensively trained in jumping on my foes heads, but
I have access to the entire arsenal of yellow, red, and green blocks and I will
use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the contin
ent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your
little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held
your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, yo
u goddamn idiot. I will shit Bullet Bills all over you and you will drown them.
Youre fucking dead, Koopa.
Spongebob Version:
What in Neptune did you just fucking say about me, you little barnacle? Ill have
you know I graduated top of my class at the Krusty Krab, and Ive been involved in
numerous secret raids on the Chum Bucket, and I have over 300 confirmed orders
filled. I am trained in bubble blowing and Im the top jellyfish hunter in the ent
ire Pacific armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will
wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen befo

re in the oceans, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying
that fish paste to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am c
ontacting my secret network of sharks across the Pacific and your IP is being tr
aced right now so you better prepare for the storm, plankton. The storm that wip
es out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I c
an be anywhere, anytime, and I can cook patties in over seven hundred ways, and
thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed grill
ing, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Krusty Krab Storage Room and
I will use it to its full extent to cook a tastier burger than you, you little
shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comm
ent was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking ton
gue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn fiddle
stick. I will shit tartar sauce all over you and you will drown in it. DROWN IN
IT! Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
Wealthy Investor version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Ill have you k
now I graduated top of my class in Harvard Business School, and Ive been involved
in numerous leveraged buyouts, and I have over 300 million invested in my Cayma
n Islands bank account alone. I am trained in portfolio management and Im the top
short seller in the entire US market. You are nothing to me but just another pi
ggy bank. I will wipe the value of your assets the fuck out with precision the l
ikes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. Y
ou think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think a
gain, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of accountants acros
s the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the st
orm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Ro
th IRA. Youre fucking over, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can make you b
roke in over seven hundred ways, and thats just if I stick to stocks. Not only am
I extensively trained in equity markets, but I have access to the entire arsena
l of the Securities and Exchange Commission and I will use it to its full extent
to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If o
nly you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was ab
out to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But y
ou couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will sh
it fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking done, kiddo. theres
many of us.
Joseph Ducreux version:
What did thou just sayest about meself, thou yellow-bellied hound? I shall infor
m thee that I am imployed in the top ranks of the Inquisition, and I have taken
part in most numerous cladestine battles against sinners, and I have slain over
300 heretics. I am most educated in the knightly ways and the Lord boasts of my
ability to kill. Thou art naught but a peasant and another heretic in my eyes. I
will slay thee with most deadly force and thy blood shall flow like rain on thi
s Earth, hark to my words. Dost thou believe thee can freely send me these lette
rs via messenger on horseback? Thou would doest well to mull upon it a second ti
me, peasant. As my quill scrabbles on this paper, I am alerting the Inquistion a
ll over Europe and thou shall be executed accordingly. Thou would doest well to
begin repenting, lad. I can find thee wherever thou goest, and I can slay thee i
n a million ways with nothing but my hands. I am not only most trained in combat
with no weapons, I also have access to thousands of men with extensive training
of their own and I will deploy them with orders to burn and pillage thy village
, thou insolent little disease. If only thou hadst known the wicked requital tha
t thy snide insult was about to bring upon thee, mayhap thou would hast watched th
y foul tongue. Alas, thou did not, and now, thou shall be punished at the hands
of justice, thou tottering moron. I will defecate mine rage all over thee, and t
hou will suffocate in my fury. Thou art as well as executed, lad.

Hank Hill (King of the Hill):

Hwat the hell did you just freaking say about me, you little bobby? I ll have yo
u know I graduated at the top of my class in the sales of propane and propane ac
essories, and I ve been involved in numerous secret propane raids on Thatherton
Fuels, and I have over 300 confirmed sales. I am trained in grilla warfare and I
m the top salesman in the entire Strickland Propane company. I will wipe you th
e hell out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in arlen
, mark my god danged words. You think you can get away with saying that crap to
me over the phone? Think again, boy. As we speak I am contacting my group of red
neck friends across the street and your number is being traced right now so you
better prepare for hell, hippie. The hell that wipes out the pathetic little thi
ng you call your charcoal grill. You re freaking dead, boy. I can be anywhere, a
nytime, and I can sell to you in over 700 different ways. and thats just with my
grill catalog. Not only am I extensively trained in the sales of propane and pr
opane acessories, but I have access to the entire propane and grill stock of Str
ickland Propane and I will use it to its full extent to sell you a grill thats o
ff the face of the great USA, you little democrat. If only you could have known
what unholy retribution your little "clever" charcoal grill was about to bring d
own upon you, maybe you would have held your freaking money. But you couldn t, y
ou didn t, and now you re paying the price you god danged idiot. I will spill pr
opane all over you and you will drown in it. You re freaking buying, customer.
Ned Flanders version:
What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney
? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and
Ive been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have o
ver 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and Im the top conv
erter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another
heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never
been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get
away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendari
no. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfi
eld and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the s
torm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your
life of sin. Youre going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anyt
ime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and thats just with
his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers,
but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfie
ld Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off
the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could
have known what holy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring dow
n upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgea
roo tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre clean of all your sins, you w
iddillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you w
ill drown in the love of Christ. Youre farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddodiddily.
Scooby-Doo version:
What the scooby-dooby-do did you just say about me, you little scooby snack? I l
l have you know I graduated top of my class in The Mystery Gang, and I ve been i
nvolved in numerous secret investigations in America, and I have over 300 confir
med fake supernatural villains uncovered. I am trained in shit-pants warfare and
I m the top pussy in the entire US supernatural investigation committee. You ar
e nothing to me but just another phony. I will uncover your fake supernatural di
sguise with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Eart
h, mark my words. You think you can get away with trying to scare people around

me? Think again. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ghosts across

the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the stor
m, maggot. The storm that wipes out your Halloween costume closet and gives me a
ll your scooby snacks. Your tricks are mine, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, an
d I can stop you scaring people in over seven hundred ways, and that s just with
my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in solving mysteries, but I ha
ve access to the entire arsenal of the Ghost Busters HQ and I will use it to it
s full extent to wipe your entire horror-inducing gags. If only you could have k
nown what unholy retribution of trying to scare people and trying to frighten me
would bring you, maybe you would have not of dressed up as a ghost at all. But
you couldn t, you didn t, and now you re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I
will shit fury all over your malevolent goals and you will watch me in your path
etic ghost suit as you re taken away in a police van. Your pranks are over, kidd
o.
U WOT M8? version:
wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im
the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked 300 candy bars from tha corner sto
re. im trained in street fitin & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle g
ym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil dickhead w/ a hot mum & fake bling. ill wa
ste u and smash a fokin bottle oer yer head bruv, i swer 2 christ. ya think u ca
n fokin run ya gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think
again wanka. im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper rumble. tha r
umble thatll make ur nan sore jus hearin about it. yer a waste bruv. my homeboys
be all over tha place & ill beat ya to a proper fokin pulp with me fists wanka.
if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me m8s cricket paddle & see if that gets
u the fok out o newcastle ya daft kunt. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess co
mmin ye might a kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yer a stewpid lil twat,
innit? ima shite fury & ull drown in it m8. ur in proper mess ya knobhead.
Adria Richards version:
What the fork did you just forking say about me, you little dongle? Ill have you
know I graduated top of my sales class at ITT Tech, and Ive been involved in nume
rous tech related conferences, and I have over 300 confirmed complaints filed on
my fellow coworkers. I am trained in feminist ideology and Im the forker in the
entire tech sales division. You are nothing to me but just another oppressor. I
will wipe you the fork out with precision the likes of which has never been seen
before on this Earth, mark my forking words. You think you can get away with sa
ying that dongle like that to me over the Internet? Think again, forker. As we s
peak I am contacting my network of feminist and your job is being is being taken
right now so you better prepare for the storm, dongle. The storm that wipes out
the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre forking dead, kid. I can be
anywhere, anytime, and I can have sent to HR in over seven hundred ways, and tha
ts just with tweets. Not only am I extensively trained in ethical workplace condu
ct , but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SRS and feminist movement an
d I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable dongle off the face of
the continent, you little dong. If only you could have known what unholy retrib
ution your little clever joke was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would
have held your forking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the
price, you goddongling idiot. I will fork dongle all over you and you will drow
n in it. Youre forking dead, kiddo.
Pedo version:
What the fuck did you just say about me, you little kid? I ll have you know I gr
aduated top of my class in the Pedo Academy, and I ve been involved in numerous
secret raids on Al-Prepubescents, and I have over 300 Gb of CP. I am trained in
gorilla buttsex and I m the top pedo in the entire US continent. You are nothing

to me but just another underage asshole. I will lick you the fuck out with tong
ue action the precision of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark
my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over th
e Internet? Think again, kid. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of p
edos across the USA (via /b/) and your IP is being traced (I am Anonymoose) so y
ou better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that will cream the pathetic
little thing you call your butthole. You re gonna get buttfucked, kid. I can be
anywhere, anytime, and I can buttsex you in over seven hundred ways, and that s
just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in child molestation,
but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Pedophilia Front (
/b/) and I will use it to its full extent to relentlessly rape your butt, you li
ttle shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little cleve
r comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fuckin
g tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn i
diot. I will shit fury all over your underage titties and you will drown in it.
Youre fucked, kiddo.
DESU version:
What the desu did you just fucking desu about me, you little desu? Ill have you k
now I graduated top of my desu in the Navy Desus, and Ive been involved in numero
us secret desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in
desu warfare and Im the top desu in the entire US armed desu. You are nothing to
me but just another desu. I will desu you the fuck out with desu the likes of w
hich has never been seen before on this desu, mark my fucking desu. You think yo
u can get away with saying that desu to me over the desu? Think again, desu. As
we speak I am contacting my secret network of desu across the USA and your desu
is being traced right now so you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam t
hat wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your desu. Youre fucking desu, k
id. I can be desu, desu, and I can desu you in over desu ways, and thats just wit
h my bare desu. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, but I have ac
cess to the entire arsenal of the United States Desu and I will use it to its fu
ll extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, you little desu.
If only you could have known what unholy desu your little desu comment was about
to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking desu. But you des
u, you desu, and now youre desu, you goddamn desu. I will shit desu all over you
and you will drown in it. Youre fucking desu, kiddo.
Soul Eater version:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little fool? My legend bega
n in the twelfth century and Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in Dea
th Academy, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Witches, and I have
over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top weapon
in all the world. You are nothing to me but just another fool. I will wipe you t
he fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this
Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit
to me over the Internet? Think again, fool. As we speak I am contacting my secre
t network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you b
etter prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic littl
e thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, fool. I can be anywhere, anytime,
and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands
. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the
entire arsenal of Lord Death and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your m
iserable ass off the face of the continent, you little fool. If only you could h
ave known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring do
wn upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you
didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn fool. I will shit fury all over
you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, fool.

Poetic Google Translate version:

A dog again, what did you say to them I? Many people are involved in a secret Al
, I m Navy SEALs and with more than 300 people are aware that for some of my hig
hest scores. I have are many of the best shooters in the American military confl
ict. There is nothing for me there is no other purpose. Such a thing on earth, t
he baby of the opposite sex rape deletes the words to say that he had never seen
before. Impunity is my belief that the profit? Also, think of puppies. Gudeogie
ul better prepare another piece of the storm, I spy my secret to tell, and the I
P network administrator for the United States. He storms of life are things call
ed compassion. You killed him. This is no time, often from the back seat, and to
kill, and she gave birth based. Hands that you are accessing loaded a few thing
s, but not too big and the shoulder against unarmed combat training at sea and t
he continental United States may all hate miserable ass without housing needs. I
t is a small box "smart" down, but the goddess of revenge, could rape her tongue
. What price can not condemn the price. I was by the Moors, and the angry waves.
Honey, you re dead.
The Catcher in the Rye Version:
What the hell did you just say about me, you big phony? Ill have you know I was k
icked out of Pencey Prep, and Ive been involved in numerous prostitution attempts
, and I have smoked over 300 cigarettes. I am versed in composition writing and
Im the craziest sex maniac in the entire world. You are nothing to me but another
phony. I will goddam sock the hell out of you with all my might, for Chrissake.
You think you can get away with saying that to me over the Internet and all? Th
ink again, you moron. As we speak I am buzzing my incognito network of ducks aro
und the park and your address is being tracked right now so you better prepare f
or the winter, lousy bastard. The winter that freezes the fish and all in the po
nd. Youre goddamn dead, Im not kidding. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can comp
lain in over seven hundred different ways, and thats just about my lousy brother
D.B. Not only can I whine about everything, but I can dance with every dopey gir
l that I meet in a bar and I will dance until I knock you out, I swear. If you w
ould know about how I would plug you with six shots with my automatic when Im ble
eding and all, maybe you would have shut your mouth. But you couldnt, you didnt, a
nd know youre going to pay the damn price and all, you corny big shot. I will dri
nk highballs all over your room and you will hit the ceiling. Youre a goddamn pho
ny, sonuvabitch. Im not kidding.
Pirate version:
What in Davy Jones locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? Ill have ye
know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and Ive led numerous raids on
fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillag
ing and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye
be nothing to me but another source o swag. Ill have yer guts for garters and keel
haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind
your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley
I be contacting my secret network o pirates across the sea and yer port is being
tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o monsoo
n thatll wipe ye off the map. Youre sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any w
aters, and can kill ye in oer seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook a
nd fist. Not only do I be top o the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pir
ate fleet at my beck and call and Ill damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off
o the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrat
h your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldnt
, ye didnt, and now yell pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. Ill shit fury all over
ye and yell drown in the depths o it. Youre fish food now.