Julie Walker

NURS 324
Reflection on Thinking and Learning

This course has challenged me to perform a self-reflection regarding why I think the way
the way I do and ferret out areas in which I can improve. This will serve me well in terms of
decision making and collaboration with other individuals at work and in my personal life. Meta-
cognition is extremely difficult for me as I still struggle with looking at my own mental
processes objectively. I am not yet able to truly separate myself from my own pre-conceived
ideas or point-of-view.

In order to perform any kind of self-reflection, I almost have to picture myself as stepping
outside of my own body and asking Why do you think that way? This ranges from me asking
myself this in a self-congratulatory way such as Why do I get it and so-and-so that I work with
just doesnt get it? to a more critical Why am I unable to look at things the way others do.
Why cant I think of such-and-such on my own? This course has shown me my weaknesses but
I have not yet been able to make adjustments in my thinking on my own. I am only able to think
yes, thats a good point after it has been shown to me.

I consider myself to be a Level III thinker in terms of putting together well done
assignments, but at times I am lacking in depth of reasoning. I have determined that I have a
tendency to deal with ideas at a surface level. While I credit myself as being a rather intelligent
person, I resist looking into a matter deeply when I am unsure of the conclusion that I will reach.
I am fond of bulleted lists and matter-of-fact statements but have difficulty with long narratives
(outside of the world of fiction). I like to deal with things quickly and get to the point. When
performing a literature review, I prefer to focus on the abstract, introduction, and conclusion; I
dread reading through the methods of a research study.

An example of this is Journal #3 with regard to healthcare finance. I was able to
complete the requirements of the assignment for the most part but was counseled to narrow down
the topic to something more specific and explore those ideas. Comments from that Journal show
me that I have room to grow in becoming more patient with the thinking process. As I stated in
this Journal, one of my questions was why do I need to learn about this. It is difficult for me to
settle down and learn about something if I cannot readily see how it will affect me in a practical
way.

I also see that when it comes to completion of assignments I have tunnel vision at times.
An example of this is the goal-making and planning section of our Professional Development
Plan. I struggled with my ten year goals because I could only think about where will I
physically be in ten years. While my plan fulfilled the requirement of the assignment, I see
from the feedback I received that these goals could include what level of practitioner I intend to
be. Since that thought never even entered my mind, I consider myself as having tunnel vision.

While my self-reflection and meta-cognition is still weak, I am an adept problem-solver
and am able to think outside of the box when I am dealing with a hands on situation.
Unfortunately, this creativity is stunted when I am thinking about my thinking. I seem to get
caught in the literal of subject matter rather than the figurative such as in the example of
setting goals for my professional development plan. I have not yet determined why I have this
conflict.

My initial journal discussed our first use of the EOR grid as part of our Evidence-Based
Practice project. I see from looking at this journal and the feedback I received that I have made
some progress in thinking more deeply and opening my mind to see other points-of-view before
having to have them pointed out to me. I was only able to think about how the subject matter
directly affected me and/or had application to the long-term-care setting. That first journal also
showed that while I looked into different scholarly sources, I did not delve into any of them
enough to formulate a plan or conclusion about my opinions or the facts that I found.

The second journal I submitted was from the week we studied about the legal
implications aspects of healthcare. Once again I was unable to look past my point-of-view as a
long-term-care nurse. Also, I failed to think creatively and/or deeply enough to pick a sub-topic
to research. My information was general, which would explain why I found looking into this
topic so overwhelming. The topic was by far too broad. My fear of having a safety
misadventure also stunted my thinking to a degree. This is due to regularly feeling that long-
term-care is operating at the edge of a cliff in terms of lack of resources and staff-to-patient
ratios. However, allowing such fear to stunt my thinking and keep me at the surface of a
general topic shows an immaturity in my thinking. There is much room for growth.

My work on journal 3 reveals to me two different kinds of thinking. This journal was
written during the week we learned about healthcare finance, and once again I failed to pinpoint
a subtopic. I was literally unable (on my own) to think of choosing a more specific topic to
dissect. Conversely, it was evident that this is a matter on which I have ideas and opinions. As
this has been a political/economical hot-button for the past several years, I have done a great deal
of thinking about and discussing this topic. I cannot, then, excuse my failure to delve into any
one of a dozen subtopics for further learning and reflection.

In order to progress as a thinker, I am going to exercise more patience. I feel that my
lack of patience is at the root of some of my difficulties with meta-cognition. If I can manage to
not become frustrated and instead remain open-minded about how a subject will help me grow as
a nurse, a thinker, and an individual, then I can explore a matter and reach conclusions on my
own. This is in opposition to my normal tendency to jump to the conclusion at the end of a
scholarly article. I may have to pretend initially that I am reading a fiction novel, because I am
never even tempted to look at the last page for fear of spoiling the experience.

Additionally, I am learning to procrastinate less than previously which I believe will
assist me with becoming more patient. If I begin my assignments earlier, I will have ample time
to ask questions and be more thorough in my thinking. I believe that when I procrastinate, I end
up scrambling and allow myself the excuse of not having time to investigate various points of
view and gather facts.

This self-reflection process has been uncomfortable for me as it is not a tangible matter
where I can clearly see the beginning, middle, and end of the project. However, I have learned
about myself as a thinker and can see a tangible difference in my first journal compared with my
third. I believe that what I have learned will help me in my future classes but more importantly
in my career as a nurse and in my personal life.