Stephen King

Squad D
Written for
Dangerous Visions #3

Billy Clewson died all at once, with nine of the ten other members of D Squad on April 8,
197! "t too# his mother two years, but she $ot started ri$ht away on the afternoon the
tele$ram announcin$ her son%s death came, in fact! Dale Clewson simply sat on the bench
in the front hall for fi&e minutes, the sheet of yellow flimsy paper dan$lin$ from his
fin$ers, not sure if he was $oin$ to faint or pu#e or scream or what! 'hen he was able to
$et up, he went into the li&in$ room! (e was in time to obser&e Andrea down the last
swallow of the first drin# and pour the post)Billy era%s second drin#! A $ood many more
drin#s followed ) it was really ama*in$, how many drin#s that small and seemin$ly frail
woman had been able to pac# into a two)year period! +he written cause ) that which
appeared on her death certificate ) was li&er dysfunction and renal failure! Both Dale and
the family doctor #new that was formalistic icin$ on an e,tremely alcoholic ca#e ) baba
au rum, perhaps! But only Dale #new there was a third le&el! +he -iet Cons had #illed
their son in a place called .y Doe, and Billy%s death had #illed his mother!
"t was three years ) three years almost to the day ) after Billy/s death on the brid$e that
Dale Clewson be$an to belie&e that he must be $oin$ mad!
0ine, he thou$ht! +here were nine! +here were always nine! 1ntil now!
'ere there2 (is mind replied to itself! Are you sure2 3aybe you really counted ) the
lieutenant%s letter said there were nine, and Bortman%s letter said there were nine! So 4ust
how can you be so sure2 3aybe you 4ust assumed!
But he hadn%t 4ust assumed, and he could be sure because he #new how many nine was,
and there had been nine boys in the D Squad photo$raph which had come in the mail,
alon$ with 5ieutenant Anderson%s letter!
6ou could be wron$, his mind insisted with an assurance that was sli$htly hysterical!
6ou%re been throu$h a lot these last couple of years, what with losin$ first Billy and then
Andrea! 6ou could be wron$!
"t was really surprisin$, he thou$ht, to what insane len$ths the human mind would $o to
protect its own sanity!
(e put his fin$er down on the new fi$ure ) a boy of Billy%s a$e, but with blonde crewcut
hair, loo#in$ no more than si,teen, surely too youn$ to be on the #illin$ $round! (e was
sittin$ cross)le$$ed in front of 7ibson, who had, accordin$ to Billy%s letters, played the
$uitar, and .imberley, who told lots of dirty 8o#es! +he boy with the blonde hair was
squintin$ sli$htly into the sun ) so were se&eral of the others, but they had always been
there before! +he new boy%s fati$ue shirt was open, his do$ ta$s lyin$ a$ainst his hairless
chest!
Dale went into the #itchen, sorted throu$h what he and Andrea had always called 9the
4umble drawers,9 and came up with an old, scratched ma$nifyin$ $lass! (e too# it and the
picture o&er the li&in$ room window, tilted the picture so there was no $lare, and held the
$lass o&er the new boy%s do$)ta$s! (e couldn%t read them! +hou$ht, in fact, that the ta$s
were both turned o&er and lyin$ face down a$ainst the s#in!
And yet, a suspicion had dawned in his mind ) it tic#ed there li#e the cloc# on the mantle!
(e had been about to wind that cloc# when he had noticed the chan$e in the picture! 0ow
he put the picture bac# in its accustomed place, between a photo$raph of Andrea and
Billy%s $raduation picture, found the #ey to the cloc#! And wound it!
5ieutenant%s Anderson%s letter had been simple enou$h! 0ow Dale found it in his study
des# and read it a$ain! +yped lines on Army stationary! +he prescribed follow)up to the
tele$ram, Dale had supposed! :irst; +ele$ram! Second; 5etter of Condolence from
5ieutenant! +hird; Coffin, <ne Boy =nclosed! (e had noticed then and noticed a$ain now
that the typewriter Anderson used had a :lyin$ 9o9! Clewson #ept comin$ out Clews
o
n!
Andrea had wanted to tear the letter up! Dale insisted that they #eep it! 0ow he was $lad!
Billy%s squad and two others had been in&ol&ed in a flan# sweep of a 4un$le quadrant of
which .y Doe was the only &illa$e! =nemy contact had been anticipated, Anderson%s
letter said, but there hadn%t been any! +he Con$ which had been reliably reported to be in
the area had simply melted away into the 4un$le ) it was a tric# with which the American
soldiers had become &ery familiar o&er the pre&ious ten years or so!
Dale could ima$ine them headin$ bac# to their base at (oman, happy, relie&ed! Squads A
and C had waded across the .y >i&er, which was almost dry! Squad D used the brid$e!
(alfway across, it blew up! ?erhaps it had been detonated from downstream! 3ore li#ely,
someone ) perhaps e&en Billy himself ) had stepped on the wron$ board! All nine of them
had been #illed! 0ot a sin$le sur&i&or!
7od ) if there really is such a bein$ ) is usually #inder than that, Dale thou$ht! (e put
5ieutenant Anderson%s letter bac# and too# out 8osh Bortman%s letter! "t had been written
on blue)lined paper from what loo#ed li#e a child%s tablet! Bortman%s handwritin$ was
nearly ille$ible, the scrawl made worse by the writin$ implement ) a soft)lead pencil!
<b&iously blunt to start with, it must ha&e been no more than a nub by the time Bortman
si$ned his name at the bottom! "n se&eral places Bortman had borne down hard enou$h
with his instrument to tear the paper!
"t had been Bortman, the tenth man, who sent Dale and Andrea the squad picture, already
framed, the $lass o&er the photo miraculously unbro#en in its lon$ trip from (oman to
Sai$on to San :rancisco and finally to Bin$hamton, 0ew 6or#!
Bortman%s letter was an$uished! (e called the other nine 9the best friends " e&er had in
my life, " lo&ed them all li#e they was my brothers!9
Dale held the blue)lined paper in his hand and loo#ed blan#ly throu$h his study door and
toward the sound of the tic#in$ cloc# on the mantelpieces! 'hen the letter came, in early
3ay of 197, he had been too full of his own an$uish to really consider Bortman%s! 0ow
he supposed he could understand it ) a little, anyway! Bortman had been feelin$ a deep
and inarticulate $uilt! 0ine letters from his hospital bed on the (oman base, all in that
pained scrawl, all probably written with that same soft)lead pencil! +he e,pense of ha&in$
nine enlar$ements of the Squad D photo$raph made, and framed, and mailed off! >ites <f
atonement with a soft)lead pencil, Dale thou$ht, foldin$ the letter a$ain and puttin$ it
bac# "n the drawer with Anderson%s! As if he had #illed them by ta#in$ their picture!
+hat%s really what was between the lines, wasn%t it2 9?lease don%t hate me, 3r! Clewson,
please don%t thin# " #illed your son and the other%s by))9
"n the other room the mantelpiece cloc# softly be$an to chime the hour of fi&e!
Dale went bac# into the li&in$ room, and too# the picture down a$ain!
'hat you%re tal#in$ about is madness!
5oo#ed at the boy with the short blonde hair a$ain!
" lo&ed them all li#e they was my brothers!
+urned the picture o&er!
?lease don%t thin# " #illed your son ) all of your sons ) by ta#in$ their picture! ?lease don%t
hate me because " was in the (oman base hospital with bleedin$ haemorrhoids instead of
on the .y Doe brid$e with the best friends " e&er had in my life! ?lease don%t hate me,
because " finally cau$ht up, it too# me ten years of tryin$, but " finally cau$ht up!
'ritten on the bac#, in the same soft)lead pencil, was this notation;
8ac# Bradley <maha, 0eb!
Billy Clewson Bin$hamton, 06!
>ider Dotson <neonta, 06
Charlie 7ibson ?ayson, 0D
Bobby .ale (enderson, "A
8ac# .imberley +ruth or Consequences! 03
Andy 3oulton :araday, 5A Staff S$t! "
8immy <liphant Beson, Del!
Asley St! +homas Anderson, "nd!
@8osh Bortman Castle >oc#, 3e!
(e had put his own name last, Dale saw ) he had seen all of this before, or course, and
had noticed it!!! but had ne&er really noticed it until now, perhaps! (e had put his name
last, out of alphabetical order, and with an asteris#!
+he asteris# means 9still ali&e!% +he asteris# means 9don%t hate me!9
Ah, but what you%re thin#in$ is madness, and you damned well #now it!
0e&ertheless, he went to the telephone, dialled A, and ascertained that the area code for
3aine was BA7! (e dialed 3aine directory assistance, and ascertained that there was a
sin$le Bortman family in Castle >oc#!
(e than#ed the operator, wrote the number down, and loo#ed at the telephone!
6ou don%t really intend to call those people, do you2
0o answer ) only the sound of the tic#in$ cloc#! (e had put the picture on the sofa and
now he loo#ed at it ) loo#ed first at his own son, his hair pulled bac# behind his head, a
bra&o little moustache tryin$ to $row on his upper lip, fro*en fore&er at the a$e of
twenty)one, and then at the new boy in that old picture, the boy with the short blonds
hair, the boy whose do$)ta$s were twisted so they lay face)down and unreadable a$ainst
his chest! (e thou$ht of the way 8osh Bortman had carefully se$re$ated himself from the
others, thou$ht of the asteris#, and suddenly his eyes filled with warm tears!
" ne&er hated you, son, he thou$ht! 0or did Andrea, for all her $rief! 3aybe " should ha&e
pic#ed up a pen and dropped you a note sayin$ so, but honest to Christ, the thou$ht ne&er
crossed my mind!
(e pic#ed up the phone now and dialled the Bortman number in Castle >oc#, 3aine!
Busy!
(e hun$ up and sat for fi&e minutes, loo#in$ out at the street where Billy had learned to
ride first a tri#e, then a bi#e with trainer wheels, then a two)wheeler! At ei$hteen he had
brou$ht home the final impro&ement ) a 6amaha CAA! :or 4ust a moment he could see
Billy with paralysin$ clarity, as if he mi$ht wal# throu$h the door and sit down!
(e dialled the Bortman number a$ain! +his time it ran$! +he &oice on the other end
mana$ed to con&ey an unmista#able impression of wariness in 4ust two syllables!
9(ello29 At that same moment, Dale%s eyes fell on the dial of his wristwatch and read the
date ) not for the first time that day, but it was the first time it really sun# in! "t was April
9th! Billy and the others had died ele&en years a$o yesterday! +hey )
9(ello29 the &oice repeated sharply! 9Answer me, or "%m han$in$ upD 'hich one are
you29
'hich one are you2 (e stood in the tic#in$ li&in$ room, cold, listenin$ to words croa#
out of him mouth!
93y name is Dale Clewson, 3r! Bortman! 3y son))9
9Clewson! Billy Clewson%s father!9 0ow the &oice was flat, inflectionless!
96es, that%s))9
9So you say!9
Dale could find no reply! :or the first time in his life, he really was ton$ue)tied!
9And has your picture of Squad D chan$ed, too29
96es!9 "t came out in a stran$led little $asp!
Bortman%s &oice remained inflectionless, but it was nonetheless filled with sa&a$ery! 96ou
listen to me, and tell the others! +here%s $oin$ to be tracer equipment on my phone by this
afternoon! "f it%s some #ind of 4o#e, you fellows are $oin$ to be lau$hin$ all the way to
4ail, " can assure you!9
93r! Bortman))9
9Shut upD :irst someone callin$ himself ?eter 3oulton calls, supposedly from 5ouisiana,
and tells my wife that our boy has suddenly showed up in a picture 8osh sent them of
Squad D! She%s still ha&in$ hysterics o&er that when a woman purportin$ to be Bobby
.ale%s mother calls with the same insane story! 0e,t, <liphantD :i&e minutes a$o, >ider
Dotson%s brotherD (e says! 0ow you!9
9But 3r! Bortman))9
93y wife is 1pstairs sedated, and if all of this is a case or %(a&e you $ot ?rince Albert in
a can,% " swear to 7od )9
96ou #now it isn%t a 4o#e,9 Dale whispered! (is fin$ers felt cold and numb ) ice cream
fin$ers! (e loo#ed across the room at the photo$raph! At the blonde boy! Smilin$,
squintin$ into the camera!
Silence from the other end!
96ou #now it isn%t a 4o#e, so what happened29
93y son #illed himself yesterday e&enin$,9 Bortman said e&enly!
9"f you didn%t #now "t!9
9" didn%t! " swear!9
Bortman si$ned! 9And you really are callin$ from lon$ distance, aren%t you29
9:rom Bin$hamton, 0ew 6or#!9
96es! 6ou can tell the difference))local from lon$ distance, " mean! 5on$ distance has a
sound!!!a!!!a hum!!!9
Dale reali*ed, belatedly, that e,pression had finally crept into that &oice! Bortman was
cryin$!
9(e was depressed off and on, e&er since he $ot bac# from 0am, in late 197,9 Bortman
said! 9it always $ot worse in the sprin$, it always pea#ed around the 8th of April when the
other boys !!! and your son!!!9
96es,9 Dale said!
9+his year, it 4ust didn%t !!! didn%t pea#!9
+here was a muffled hon#)Bortman usin$ his hand#erchief!
9(e hun$ himself in the $ara$e, 3r! Clewson!9
9Christ 8esus,9 Dale muttered! (e shut his eyes &ery ti$htly, tryin$ to ward off the ima$e!
(e $ot one which was ar$uably e&en worse ) that smilin$ face, the open fati$ue shirt, the
twisted do$)ta$s! 9"%m sorry!9
9(e didn%t want people to #now why he wasn%t with the others that day, but of course the
story $ot out!9 A lon$, meditati&e pause from Bortman%s end! 9Stories li#e that always
do!9
96es! " suppose they do!9
98oshua didn%t ha&e many friends when he was $rowin$ up, 3r! Clewson! " don%t thin# he
had any real friends until he $ot to 0am! (e lo&ed your son, and the others!9
0ow it%s him! comfortin$ me!
9"%m sorry for your lossE9 Dale said! 9And sorry to ha&e bothered you at a time li#e this!
But you%ll understand !!! " had to!9
96es! "s he smilin$, 3r! Clewson2 +he others !!! they said he was smilin$!9
Dale loo#ed toward the picture beside the tic#in$ cloc#! 9(e%s smilin$!9
9<f course he is! 8osh finally cau$ht up with them!9
Dale loo#ed out the window toward the sidewal# where Billy had once ridden a bi#e with
trainin$ wheels! (e supposed he should say somethin$, but he couldn%t seem to thin# of a
thin$! (is stomach hurt! (is bones were cold!
9" ou$ht to $o, 3r! Clewson! "n case my wife wa#es up!9 (e paused! 9" thin# "%ll ta#e the
phone off the hoo#!9
9+hat mi$ht not be a bad idea!9
97oodbye, 3r! Clewson!9
97oodbye! <nce a$ain, my sympathies!9
9And mine, too!9
Clic#!
Dale crossed the room and pic#ed up the photo$raph of Squad D! (e loo#ed at the
smilin$ blonde boy, who was sittin$ cross)le$$ed in front of .imberley and 7ibson,
sittin$ casually and comfortably on the $round as if he had ne&er had a haemorrhoid in
his life, as if he had ne&er stood atop a stepladder in a shadowy $ara$e and slipped a
noose around his nec#!
8osh finally cau$ht up with them!
(e stood loo#in$ fi,edly at the photo$raph for a lon$ time before reali*in$ that the depth
of silence "n the room had deepened! +he cloc# had stopped!