Martin Durmov

Exploring Culture Essay

First Draft

We are living in a world that is transitioning from conservative, traditional values,

into a world that is becoming more and more progressive, liberal, democratic, and openminded. One prominent topic in this global transition of the past century has been
homosexuality. Decade after decade, sexuality, especially homosexuality has not been a
dinner-table conversation. Gay culture has almost been ruled taboo in our society prior to
the recent opening in global customs to begin accepting homosexuality. Personally, I
have always been eager to find out more about other cultures. I cant necessarily say that
gay culture was something I cared about or wanted to learn more about throughout my
adolescent and grade school life because of the negative social connotation that was
placed around the word gay. Now, as I transition into my adult life and the real world
in general, I have noticed an influx of gay culture in my surroundings. Especially now
having a few close friends, which happen to be part of the gay culture, I became
interested in delving into this foreign culture and truly finding out what and why it is.
Gay culture in the United States has been a complicated issue for the history of
the country as a whole. Advertised as a truly free country, The Land of The Free, and
The Home of the Brave, With Liberty and Justice for all, America sure has had trouble
accepting homosexuality. In other countries, for example in some African countries and
states, gays are publically humiliated, killed, tortured, and set on fire in front of rowdy

crowds to make an example of what is not accepted. Though the United States has not
fallen to those extremes, it may as well be treated the same way with some American
Citizens perception of gay people. In states such as Arizona, Texas, and Alabama, there
are prohibitions on the portrayal of homosexuality as a positive lifestyle. States such as
Utah, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, and South Carolina all have restrictions and
laws against homosexuality. Such restrictions have even stretched to the US Military,
with the Dont Ask Dont Tell policy put in place. Going back to countries such as
Uganda, which made news for a bill simply called Kill The Gays, America also has
been a place of brutality and violence against gays.
On an October evening in a small town, Matthew was in a bar, when he met two
men, Aaron and Russell, who pretended they were gay. Matthew, who was gay
himself, asked them for a ride back home. They accepted, but instead, they drove
him to a remote, rural area, and proceeded to rob him, beat him with a handgun,
and torture him. They tied him to a fence while he pleaded for his life, and then
drove off, leaving him to die. 18 hours later, Matthew was discovered, still alive,
but in a coma. His face was completely covered in blood, except where it had
been partially washed clean by his tears. Matthew was rushed to the hospital: he
had suffered fractures on the back of his head and in front of his right ear. He
experienced severe brainstem damage and there were numerous lacerations
around his head, face, and neck. Doctors deemed his injuries too severe to
operate. Six days later, Matthew died. (1)

From an outside perspective, the American freedom propaganda is only a cover-up to the
real truth and struggle of diversity in the 50 states. America is clearly not a place where
any man, woman, or kid growing up can feel safe being gay. With brutal murders,
rampant suicides, hateful leaders, and homophobic TV shows, it is clear that America, the
self-proclaimed defender of equal rights, needs to stop looking at the faults of others, and
focus on its own flaws. (1) Now we must assess the small window of acceptance in the
United States that is the only piece of separation between the United States and Uganda
as far as homosexuality is concerned.
One very big issue in gay culture is growing up and the experience of being gay
going through school, and being surrounded by the obstacles of becoming and adult and
learning life while being gay. In one of my interviews, I took this issue a step further, not
only singling out growing up gay, by adding the issue of race. Especially in a turbulent
and volatile culture such as the African American culture in a time like now where at
times the United States has felt as it was on the brink of a second civil war, with mindless
racially driven killings and violence, being black and gay can possibly be the worst of
two worlds for many boys and girls trying to find their peace with the world and the
ability to be themselves. I would say that Im mentally stronger [than the average gay
person], but then again theres other people that have been through different situations
other than being gay and that makes them even stronger than I am. I feel like Im
mentally ahead of other people, just because Ive had that keying in on others
personalities, and knowing how to address other people with being gay and being in the
closet in that time how I had to cover it up and then after coming out, I was able to be
more free Ive had jobs where I was assistant manager, managing over half a

warehouse, and Ive had jobs where I was in training to be a manager, and Ive felt some
discrimination, and I dont know whether that was because I was gay or black, or both.
Ive had struggles with people calling me a fag under their breath or calling me gay or a
queer or something like that, but I have been through that all my life, so if I let that defeat
me now it would be pointless. (2)
Just like in any other prominent culture, there are many stereotypes involved with
homosexuality. Also just like in any other prominent culture, not all these stereotypes are
necessarily true. Through my two interviews, I was made aware of a few false
stereotypes. Just like any other race or culture, homosexuality comes with a default image
stereotype. The over-the-top flamboyant gay person is the image many Americans see
when they think of gay culture. This is not always the case. A lot of gay people do not
want to be the center of attention everywhere they go. Along with that, many gays just
want to lay low and live their life normally, without all the extra attention. Another
couple of stereotypes my interviewees stressed on combating was that all gay people go
after straight men or women, and that gay people cant be religious. First, all gay people
do not go after straight men. All gay men arent just about having sex. A lot of gay men
just want to live life normally. They want to find somebody that fits in the palm of their
hands, they want to be able to mesh together in a relationship just like any other couple.
Not every gay guy is super flamboyant. I may be flamboyant at some points but I would
say 80% of the people Im around say We didnt think you were gay until you told us.
Thats how I like it. If you would have asked me at the beginning of course I would have
told you. All the gay stereotypes are wrong. All gay people are different. Thats just like
me saying that all straight people were all about themselves, stuck up, and only wanted to

have sex with women, but thats not true. Theres people in different cultures, different
orientations, and everything. I think all stereotypes are just wrong. Period. (2)
Since 2000, 15 countries (Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, France,
Iceland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden, and
Uruguay) have legalized same-sex marriage, as have parts of Mexico, the United States
and the Untied Kingdom. In the United States, same-sex marriage is legal in 19 states
(California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Maryland,
Maine, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New Jersey, New York, Oregon,
Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington), and in the District of Columbia.
Legal challenges are pending in the remaining 31 states. (3) Gay marriage has always
been a topic I really have not had a major opinion on personally. I believe it is a twosided issue, moral and religious. Me being a person with opinions in good morals and
being religious, this becomes a very complicated issue to have an opinion on. Yes, I do
believe that gays should have equal rights as any other person, yet again marriage is such
a traditional ceremony, making gay marriage a very unorthodox thing. Though complex
for me, both my interviewees agreed that gay marriage should be legal, in the fact that it
is simply two people that love each other and want a title to be together for the rest of
their lives, or, until divorce, of course.