HattieKruschek

ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

TheFlyingKillingMachine
Ablack,helicoptertypeobject,soarsaboveapotentialterroristcamp.United
Statesdronesaresentinandlaunchmissilesatthecamp,twodayslaternewsis
heardthatthemissilesdidnotreachthecampandlandedinaresidential
neighborhood.Thedronesdemolishedanentireschool.Throughinaccuratetargeting
innocentliveswerelost.Dronesaredangerousmachinesthatcandomultiplejobswith
apushofabutton.Theycanbecomedangerousveryquicklydependingonthe
intentionsofthepilotorcopilotsalsoinstructingtheflight.
Dronesaremachinesthatcanperformaspecializedjob.AccordingtoJoan
Lowy,dronescanbeassmallasahummingbirdanddonumerousjobs.Shealso
pointsoutthat,themilitaryisoneofthemajororganizationsthatusedronesbecause
theabilityofnothavingahumancontrollingtheplanediminishesthelikelihoodofa
militaryfatality.Beforedroneswereused,certainmissionstooklongerandthe
likelihoodofamilitaryrelateddeathoccurringwashigher.Nowpilotsareabletostayin
asecurelocationandsurveyanarea,sendmissiles,andrecordavideo.Attackofthe
Drones,byauthorMarcGoodmanclaimsthat,astheUStriestomaintainandimprove
securitydroneswillbeincorporatedintothemilitaryandlawenforcement.TheUS
securitydepartmentcanusedronestohelpkeepthecountrysafe.Thereare
numerouswaysdronescanbeusedthatcanimpactmanypeople.AuthorLowypoints
outthat,specificallypolicedepartmentscanusedronesforspecialmissionssuchas


HattieKruschek
ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

murdercases,lostpeople,andsmuggling.Sincedronescanbeverysmallconducting
investigationswillbeeasiersinceitwillbesecret.Casescanbesolvedfasterwhich
canleadtolivesbeingsavedsincetimeiseverythingincrimescenes.Overall,drones
arethoughttobebeneficialbutsomepotentialharmshavebeenevaluated.The
harmsevaluatedlooktobeagreaterharmthanhelptobothpartiesaffectedbythem.
Whiledronescanbehelpful,theyaremoreharmfulthansafe.TheUnitedStates
hasmanydifferentperceptionsplaceduponitbyothercountriesthatarenotalways
good.Author,KurtVolker,believesthatwiththeUnitedStatesrelyingondronesother
countrieswillstarttoperceivetheUnitedStatesakilling,hightechcountry.Sincethe
UnitedStatesisalreadyoneofthemostdominantcountriesintheworld,itcouldbe
reflectednegativelyfortheUnitedStatesifotherplacesthinkthecountryistoo
advanced.Havingabadreputationinvolvingfirearmscouldcauseothercountriesto
wanttoretaliateagainsttheUnitedStates.Manyideashavebeenproposedaboutwhy
droneswillbebeneficialtotheUnitedStatesbutnotmanyhavebeenabouthowthe
placesbeingattackedwillbeaffected.Again,Volkerasksthereaderimportant
questionslike,Whatdowewanttobeasanation?Haveapermanentkilllist?A
countrywherepeoplegototheoffice,launchafewkillshotsandgethomeintimefor
dinner?Sincedronesaresoeasytolaunchexamplesliketheonesprovidedby
Volkercouldbepossible.Whiletheabilityforsoliderstobestationedathomeissafer
itcouldleadtothevalueoflifeontheattackingendtodiminish.Notallthingsgoas
plannedandtheUnitedStatesgovernmenthashadmanyexamplesofthatbeingtrue.


HattieKruschek
ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

KurtVolkerstatesafactofhowdronescouldturnontheU.S.theUnitedStateswill
notalwaysdominatethedroneworld.HealsoasksaquestionabouthowtheUnited
Stateswillreactifothercountriesstarttousedronesinternationallyorintheirown
country.TheUnitedStatesisconsideredahelpercountrywheneveranotherisin
troubleorneedsbackup,butwhatifthecountryneedinghelpisusingdronesoris
beingattackeduponbydrones?Thedangersofdronesandothercountrieslashingout
ofangercouldputtheUnitedStatesinanawkwardpositionwhere,theycouldnothelp
becausetheystartedusingdronesbeforemostcountries.Theuseofdronesoverall
causesalotofunknownsincertainaspectssuchassecurity,alliances,andevolution
ofhightechmaterial.
Whilesomepeoplebelievedronesarenotabeneficialweaponmanygroups
andindividualsbelievedronesshouldandareanecessityineverydaylife.Many
criminalcasesareairedonTVwhereachildgoesmissingandittakesyearsto
discoverthevictim,mostwithoutagoodending.StephenIngleypointsoutthatdrones
couldbethemissingpieceinlawenforcementinvolvingcasesthatcouldtakeyearsto
solve(Goodman).Dronescanflyaroundanddetectmorethingsfasterthanmostlaw
enforcementstations.Manyindustriesaremodernizingandusingtechnologysuchas:
Medical,Construction,andScience,tonameafew.CraigWhitlockandCraigTimberg
pointoutabenefittodrones,Therecordsshowthatbordercontroldronesarebeing
commissionedbyotheragenciesmoreoftenthanpreviouslyknown.Mostofthe
missionsareperformedbytheCoastGuard,theDrugEnforcementAdministrationand


HattieKruschek
ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

immigrationauthorities,buttheyalsoaidindisasterreliefandinthesearchfor
marijuanacrops,methamphetaminelabs,andmissingpersons,amongothermissions
notdirectlyrelatedtoborderprotection.Usingdronesinlawenforcementcanbea
hugehelpinsolvingcasesbutwhatiftheuseofdronesareabused?Whathappensif
someoneusesthemforpersonaluse?Usingadroneasatoycouldleadtoserious
damagesuchas,peoplebeingspiedon,aneighborhoodbecomingunsafedueto
dronefirearms,andinnocentpeoplebeingkilled.SaraSorcherstatesinherarticle,Is
ObamasDronePolicyReallyMorallySuperiortoTorture?,dronescanbeavery
helpfultoolinthemilitary,dronescanbepreciseandtargetacertainareafromfar
away.Withdronesbeingsoprecisetheneedforsoldierstotraveltodifferentcountries
andrisktheirlivesismuchless.Manygroupsofpeopleandindividualshavelatched
ontotheideathatdroneslaunchedfromadifferentcountrywillsavelivesandkeep
everyonesafer.Justbecausedronesaresupposedtobeprecisedoesntmeanthey
alwaysare,theycouldmalfunctionandwipeoutawholevillageifnotusedproperly.
Overall,theuseofdronesisnotabeneficialplan.Yes,theycantargetaspecificarea
orpersonanddetectissuesinourowncountrybutthingscangowrongandtheresults
ofdronesbeingusedcouldbeworsethantheintendedresultsputforwardinthe
mission.
Drones,thoughttobeahelpinmodernsocietycouldbeakillingmachine.Not
onlycantheyspyonrandomcitizens,theycanbecomeamagnifyingglassformilitants


HattieKruschek
ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

attackinganothercountry.Justbecauseanyonecancontroladronedoesnotmeanall
intentionsaregooddronescanturnbadwithinsecondsandthelevelofdanger
canskyrocket.TheUnitedStatesofAmericacouldbecomealivemovieforalltosee
becauseofdrones,atickingtimebombwaitingforrevengetohappen,orthecountry
thatkillsthousandsofpeoplearoundtheworld.NotonlywillAmericansbeaffectedbut
theentireworldbecauseofdrones.


HattieKruschek
ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

WorksCited

Goodman,Marc.AttackoftheDrones.JanesIntelligenceReview.01Jan.2012:n.p.SIRS
IssueResearcher.Web.03.Apr.2014.

Lowy,Joan.RiskandRewardattheDawnofCivilianDroneAge.MiamiHerald.30Mar.
2013:n.p.SIRSIssuesResearcher.Web.01Apr.2014.

Volker,Kurt.TheRisksofRelyingonDrones.WashingtonPost.28Oct.2012:A.17.SIRS
IssuesResearcher.Web.05Apr.2014.

Whitlock,Craig,andTimberg,Craig.DronesIncreasinglyUsedbyLawEnforcement.
WashingtonPost.15Jan.2014:A.1.SIRSIssuesResearcher.Web.05.Apr.
2014.

Sorcher,Sara.IsObamasDronePolicyReallyMorallySuperiortoTorture?.National
Journal.14Feb.2013:n.p.SIRSIssuesResearcher.Web.05.Apr.2014.

WorksReferenced

Bengali,Shashank,andDavidS.Cloud.U.S.DroneUseinAfghanistanisUpSharply.Los
AngelesTimes.22Feb.2013:A.1.SIRSIssuesResearcher.Web.05Apr.2014.

SouthKoreaRecoversSuspectedNorthKoreanDrone.GuardianNewsandMediaLimited.
Web.1Apr.2014.

RegimeTruthReportRubric

Structure__38___/40
Introductionincludesattentiongetterthattransitionsintoclearthesisstatementandplanof
development.

109876 0


HattieKruschek
ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

Hasbodyparagraphsthateachuseaclearandfocusedtopicsentence
Eachbodyparagraphcontainsunifieddetailsthatcorrespondtothetopicsentence
Conclusionrestatesthethesis,summarizesthemainpoints,andgivesclosuretothemain
idea.

109876 0
109876 0
109876 0

IdeasandContent___87__/90

Assertsaclearpositionarguingonesideofthetopic.
Providessufficientbackgroundonthetopic,sotheaudienceunderstandsthecontext
Providesanopposingargumentparagraphtoreducebias

54320
54320
54320

Hassufficientevidenceto
supporteachtopicsentence.

Body1:109876
0

Primarilyparaphrasessource Body1:54320
materialusesnomorethan
onequotationperparagraph,
whenquotingismoreeffective
Demonstratesanunderstanding Body1:109876
oftheevidencebyexplaining 0
howitsupportsthethesis
statement.

Body2:109876
0

Body3:109876
0

Body2:54320 Body3:54320

Body2:1098760 Body3:109876
0

Fluency__14___/15

Variessentencelengthandstructure
Usesavarietyoftransitionalwordstoconnectparagraphs,sentences,andwords
Usessignalphrasestoincorporateparaphrasesandquotationsintoparagraphs

5432 0
543 0
2
5432 0

Conventions__13___/15

Demonstratescorrectpronounusageandsubjectverbagreement
Usescorrectsentencestructure,includingcorrectpunctuation
Spellsmostorallwordscorrectly,includingmoredifficultwords

5432 0
5432 0
5432 0

ResearchRequirements__40___/40

Includescorrectlyformattedparentheticcitationsthroughoutessay
IncludesaworkscitedpagethatlistsatleastTHREEcrediblesources
andaworksreferenced
Allcitationstietoasourceontheworkscitedpage(andviceversa)

1514131211109 0
1514131211109 0
109876 0

Scor
e

200
196

Grad
e

A+

195 183 179 175 163 159 155 143 139

184 180

160 156
140 136
176 164
144
A
A B+ B
B
C+
C
C D+

TotalScore:192/200+1forrevisions,+3forwritingcenterhelp:=196/200

135 123 119

124 120
0
D


HattieKruschek
ResearchPaper
Ames
4/28/2014

Hattie:therewasntmuchtorevise,asthiswasalreadyanexcellentpaper.Theredostillseemto
besomeerrorsinpunctuation(highlightedinyourpaper),butyoucleanedupsometransitionsto
earnanextrapoint.

Hattie:thisisanexcellentpaperwiththoroughexplanationsofcomplexandsubtlepoints.You
doagreatjobofexplainingwhysomepeoplesupporttheuseofdrones,butmoreimportantly
whythosereasonsmaynotbeenough.Takecarewithyouruseofcommas,astherearea
numberoferrorsthroughout,especiallywithintroductoryphrasesandclauses.Overall,though,
thisisagreateffort.