Dylan Baird

Comp II TR 9:00
Diana Watkins
9 March 2015
Annotation 2
In this essay, I examine Olympus Mons and give facts about its immense size. I also use
factual information from different sources to inform the reader of the super volcano.
I chose to display this essay because it displays that I can write fairly well under the
pressure of time, as I was given only a couple of hours to prepare it. I feel the paper
accomplishes its goal to inform. This work is not my best, but certainly better than some others
would do under the same limit.
On the other hand, this paper also shows a weakness of mine. I often have problems with
word choice and explaining meanings of various parts in the essay. This essay also has problems
with flow and closure. The paper is somewhat choppy and jumps back and forth to explain
different aspects. The conclusion is weak and could be referred to as cliff-hanging to an extent.
Overall, this essay is not my best work, and that is certainly why it must be shown. I have
improved upon my flow and concluding paragraphs and have become a better writer since this
paper.