Zahrt-Tenzin 1

Sonam Zahrt-Tenzin
Zack De Piero
Writing 2
10, February, 2015
WP# 2
Think about President Barak Obama addressing the country about a solemn issue or an
important change in country policy. What would your response be if it was presented as a satire
with a mocking tone? What about if the piece was extremely informal and included slang and
poor grammar? The audience would not take the work seriously, thus preventing it from

Commented [ZD1]: I like this openingits attentiongetting!

effectively serving its purpose. For reasons like this, authors have a big responsibility when
deciding what genre they want to write in. Depending on the purpose, the writer will find it
useful to use a genre with conventions that have the best rhetorical effect on the intended
audience. Choosing the correct genre when writing is the key to taking a piece to the next level
because it gives the writer the power to exploit and manipulate specific conventions. This control

Commented [ZD2]: I think that you can combine these

two sentences.

of conventions gives a work of writing the ability to penetrate the minds of its audience with
extraordinary effectiveness and a chance to plant a seed that will ultimately grow into an idea
that supports the purpose of the text. In order to demonstrate the effect of genre on the
presentation of the information, two articles, one an academic peer reviewed commentary and a
nonacademic news article will be compared and contrasted. The conventions, rhetorical methods,
and moves the authors use will be considered. Both of these articles argue for the legalization
of the schedule 1 drug marijuana. The peer-reviewed article takes a more direct stance, while the
news articles position is more implied.

Commented [ZD3]: I think your paper would benefit if

you (1) consolidated/condensed all of this and (2) got much
more specific about what you were arguing and what points
you want to use to make that case.

Zahrt-Tenzin 2

The peer-reviewed article Let it grow--the open market solution to marijuana control,
by Jon Gettman and Michael Kennedy, falls under the genre of academic socio-economical
commentary. It stays true to the many conventions of scholarly writings. The work includes an
abstract at the very beginning which serves to give a brief context and overview of the topic of
the article. This convention caters to the academic community as it allows readers to efficiently
sort through sources or research that contains the desired information. The article also has bold
titles that clearly separate ideas covering a wide array of arguments and counter-arguments in
different socio-economical settings, proving the writing was well thought out and intensely
considered. At the end of the commentary, a sizeable conclusion is presented. Providing such an
in depth conclusion ensures that all the main points in the writing are reemphasized in one last
attempt to convince the audience of the authors stance on the subject matter. Throughout the
text, sources are cited by including a number enclosed in brackets after a sentences that
references outside material, such as when they discuss prior survey data [27] (Gettman,
Kennedy 4). Also, characteristic of a peer-reviewed scholarly article, the writing has an
acknowledgements section and a references section to give credit to the sources used.
The scholarly sphere does not leave much room for experimentation in terms of
conventions so the authors must also follow rhetorical conventions belonging to the genre.

Commented [ZD4]: If you could sum up all of this in a

few words, what it would it be?
Whatever that is, including it in your topic sentence would
probably enhance it your topic sentence because it would
provide the reader with a preview for the parageaph.

Throughout the whole article they never reference any personal pronouns such as I,you, and
they. This is a way to keep the topic serious and formal, as the authors are simply providing
persuasive information and not actually conversing with the audience. The diction used

Commented [ZD5]: Nice observation.

throughout can be classified as educated, though it isnt as technical as a scientific paper of

similar genre might be, allowing for a wider audience. The tone is very polar and persuasive. The
authors consistently use the fact that in regards to the prohibition of cannabis there is broad

Commented [ZD6]: ?

Zahrt-Tenzin 3

consensus among critics that it has failed (Gettman, Kennedy 2). The word phrase broad
consensus contributes to the persuasive tone by giving the reader a sense that if this claim is
substantiated by a large amount of people, it must have some basis.
From a structural stand point of the academic text, the authors included some moves that

Commented [ZD7]: Excellent!

I was still wondering, though, what that paragraph was
ultimately about.

were still conventional, yet not as common, such as a keywords section to provide readers with

Commented [ZD8]: This comment is in reference to

the whole paragraph:

an idea of the terms that will be used in the writing, and the addition of information, post-

When I see thiseven before I start readingI think,

Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the page-long paragraph!

conclusion, about the authors contributions, qualifications and interests. Rhetorically, the article
uses subtle moves that significantly contribute to the purpose of its commentary. This writing is a
well-supported argument that aims to persuade the audience that legalization of marijuana is a
beneficial decision. Its purpose is to persuade but, even if we intellectually agree with
something, it is difficult to get us to act unless we are also persuaded in our hearts (Carroll 53).

See if you like this metaphor:

Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy steak. Do you want
your reader to enjoy that steak in easy-to-chew, digestable
bites? Or do you want them to start eating the whole thing in
one piece (think: zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your reader your
argument in little, digestable, one-idea-at-a-time bits.
Readers need to be able to see the different parts/pieces/bites
of the argument that theyre chewing on.

The following moves made by the authors aim to pull the reader in and more fully influence their
ideas. One of the first moves is found in the abstract. The authors directly address the readers by
telling them that in the writing they argue that the primary goal of legalization should be the
elimination of the illicit trade in marijuana and that maximizing market participation through
open markets and personal cultivation is the best approach to achieving this goal (Gettman,
Kennedy 1). This makes the purpose very clear and leaves no room for reader interpretation.
Another important move that is made early on is the employment of a rhetorical question. Asking
a question to the audience forces them to become involved in the reading. It allows the reader to
actually consider the topic at hand, before the text asserts an answer. This type of question makes
the readers feel in power because they are given the illusion of choice, while in reality the
authors are the ones manipulating the flow of ideas and emotion. The response to the rhetorical
question is a whole other move in itself. The writing responds to the question with the answer is

Commented [ZD9]: Agreed

Zahrt-Tenzin 4

simple (Gettman, Kennedy 2), which appeals to logos. By stating that the answer is obvious, it
makes the reader pay close attention to see whether or not the provided answer actually makes
sense. This move could fail, negatively impacting a text if the answer was not at all logical or
simple. The repetition of words, a type of parallelism, is also used effectively throughout this
article. Repeating words with dramatic and polar effect such as simple, control and failed are
likely to be retained by the readers and eventually influence them to support the authors agenda
through evoked emotion. Other moves include the presentation of information logically by
listing with numbers or alphabetic characters, the presentation of an argument or an issue with
regards to the subject and then providing a solution immediately after, and change of pace by
using different sentence lengths and occasional abrupt punctuation.
The genre of peer-reviewed academic article, is an effective genre to choose when
interested in persuading an audience with conclusive evidence. To maximize the persuasive
nature of this genre it is necessary to conform to the mostly strict conventions. Also it is
important to cater to the intended audience by using a higher level of diction and maintaining a
serious and academic tone throughout the piece.
The second text, a news article titled The 11 Stupidest Arguments Against Legalizing
Marijuana by Matt Ferner and Nick Wing, can be considered to be in the genre of online news
article. The main convention in common with the first text, is that this one is divided into
subsections that focus on different topics. Most everything else, conventionally, is different. For
example, the authors are listed at the top along with a profile picture and a linked twitter account.
The inclusion of social media is an implication that the text is a nonacademic source, as social
media is mainly used for personal entertainment and is not generally a respected academic source
of any kind. Similar to nineteenth-century books on rhetoric [which] often incorporated

Commented [ZD10]: Im wondering about your

organization here. I dont know the answer to these
questionsthats for you to decideIm just hoping to get
you thinking some more about this.
Would it enhance your argument if, instead of doing
paragraphs 2-4 = scholarly, and paragraphs 5-7 = nonacademic, you did something like
paragraph 1 = idea 1 (ie, evidence in both)
2 = idea 2 (ie, formatting in both)
3 = tone in both?
So, in other words, break the paragraphs up by the writing
terms/ideas that youre analyzing?

Zahrt-Tenzin 5

illustrations and diagrams to help (Losh, Alexander 10) give meaning to their work, the authors
of the news article included pictures and gif files to augment the ideas in their writing. The
pictures, which are over dramatized images involving marijuana users, provide a sense of humor
that lightens the mood in a cynical way, while the text itself remains generally serious.
In context, this nonacademic genre has an alternate set of constraints than the academic
one. Constraints have a lot to do with how the rhetoric is presented (Carroll 49), therefore this
text, being nonacademic, differs in rhetoric as well. The diction in The 11 Stupidest Arguments
Against Legalizing Marijuana is still educated, yet is much more plain and easy to read. This is
because it is aimed towards the average reader, and there is no need to use advanced words. The
informality of the writing is exemplified in its use of marijuana jargon like pot and weed.
The tone is both informational and informative as expected of a news article. While both articles

Commented [ZD11]: Sounds to me like this paragraph

is about word choice (diction/tone). Topic sentence?

comment on the issue of legalizing cannabis, they are held to different standards in regards to the
rhetoric and conventions used. The academic article is very precise and persuasive while
adhering strictly to conventions, and the nonacademic news article is much less conventional
while providing information on a topic.
The purpose of the nonacademic text seems to be both indirectly arguing the legalization
of marijuana, and entertaining the audience. The moves that the authors of this article used
mainly influence the entertainment aspect of the purpose. The first move is dividing the
information into eleven different subsections as it implied by the title. This move is effective in

Commented [ZD12]: I had a hard time understanding

this. try writing what you want to express in
simpler/plainer language.
(Sometimes simplicity is key!)

an internet text because it gives the reader an end goal. They can confidently enter the reading
knowing that there are eleven items for them to cover before they finish the piece. Also
important, is noting the tone of the writing. Bunn discusses the necessity of understanding when
you want to use formal language in your writing and when it would make more sense to be

Zahrt-Tenzin 6

more conversational (Bunn 85). One way that authors contributed to a conversational feel in the
writing is the inclusion of the words we and were. This passively includes the audience in
the reading. It allows them to feel a small sense of involvement on the information being
presented. Further amplifying the purpose of entertainment, the authors write occasional

Commented [ZD13]: Again, good obersation, Sonam.

sentences with an informal, sarcastic tone, which serves as comic relief and are usually placed
after a sentence that is somewhat serious in tone. The informal/humorous bits are often found in
between a sentence with dashes on either side, or in parentheses
It is a good idea to make use of the online news article genre when interested in making a
point while still entertaining the audience. It enjoys a more informal relationship with the
audience and has more freedom to include humor and personal style. While it is still necessary to
maintain a level of seriousness, as the text is written for a news company, the audience expects
more variation in conventions than they would in a scholarly article, allowing the author more
room for conventional play.
Evidence used in both these articles, was mainly quotes and references. Including
evidence is necessary to appeal to the audience because providing support to the claims being
made increases the writers credibility. Considering the conventions, rhetorical features, moves
and purpose of the writing, the audience of the Let it grow--the open market solution to
marijuana control article is most likely the educated body of people who have the power to
make legal and economic decisions for the country as well as people who are involved in voting
and who influence the passing of laws. Evidence used in this piece include quotes from other
published academics or notable people like the Executive Director of the Drug Policy Alliance,
information from accredited research, and data from big influential organizations like the DEA.

Commented [ZD14]: What kinds? From whom? In

what ways?

Zahrt-Tenzin 7

Based off of these sources it can be inferred that the audience of the peer-reviewed journal
expects clear, well presented and viable evidence to prove the claims being made.
The likely audience for the nonacademic news piece is the general public and more
specifically, internet browsers. The diction being more general suggests that the target audience
is general as well. Compared to Let it grow--the open market solution to marijuana control the
information in the news article lacks formal citing. Instead embedded links to referenced articles
exist. This form of referencing appeals to the web browser because it is convenient. The reader
no longer has to take the time to find a source. This instant gratification appeals to the audience
as the internet culture has vastly facilitated the rate at which information can be gathered.
Nonacademic pieces can accomplish much more when addressing a wide variety of
audiences. They are allowed to be extremely loose with conventions and can be significantly less
formal allowing them to connect with the audience on a level that is more personal than the
scholarly article genre could have achieved. The identification with the audience makes the
readers more likely to agree with the authors. The less formal nature and looser conventions can
be a downside as much as they can be a benefit depending on the context. If a very specific topic
was and audience was being addressed, it may be less effective to design the text so that it caters
to a wider audience as that may lead to the oversimplification of information and loss of interest
by the intended audience. Academic pieces often target a much smaller audience group and as
such are allowed to become much more specialized conventionally and rhetorically. When being
academic and targeting a smaller group, in a broad variety of audiences (like the news article)
certain demographics and education levels will be left out, so if effective communication with a
specific group of people, namely scholars of some sort, is the goal, academic pieces can be very

Commented [ZD15]: Is this your central argument?

Zahrt-Tenzin 8

useful. In an academic writing is acceptable to use technical terms that can, to the right audience,

Commented [ZD16]:

amplify clarity and improve meaning.

Commented [ZD17]: I think you might want to re-work

this sentence. Theres a lot going on. (Again: keep it
simple.)

Using genres appropriately when writing can positively influence the way the audience
receives the information. It is possible to choose a genre that maximizes conventional and
rhetorical potential, allowing the writer to make moves that most effectively achieves the
purpose of the text. While mastering genre use isnt easy, it is a necessary skill to practice in
order to improve writing effectiveness.

Zahrt-Tenzin 9

Works Cited
Gettman, Jon, and Michael Kennedy. "Let It Growthe Open Market Solution to Marijuana
Control." Harm Reduction Journal 11.1 (2014): 1,2,4. Let It Grow--the Open Market
Solution to Marijuana Control. Bio Med Central, The Open Access Publisher. Web. 10
Feb. 2015. <http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail/detail?sid=5c0bf4b4-9164437bafa04a26e10cb126@sessionmgr111&vid=0&hid=125&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3Q
tbGl2ZQ==#d=a9h&
Ferner, Matt, and Nick Wing. "The 11 Stupidest Arguments Against Legalizing Marijuana."Huff
Post Politics 20 Apr. 2014. Huffington Post. Web. 10 Feb. 2015.
<http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/20/stupid-arguments-against-legalizingmarijuana_n_5175880.html>.
Losh, Elizabeth, and Jonathan Alexander. "Introduction: Spaces For Writing." Understanding
Rhetoric. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014. 10. Print.
Bunn, Mike. "How To Read Like A Writer." Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. Vol. 2.
Anderson: Parlor, 2011. 85. Print.
Carroll, Laura Bolin."Backpacks vs. Briefcases: Steps toward Rhetorical Analysis." Writing
Spaces: Readings on Writing. Vol. 1. Anderson: Parlor, 2010. 49, 53. Print.

Commented [ZD18]: Make sure you a;phabethize

these.

Zahrt-Tenzin 10

Did Not Meet

Expectations

Thesis Statement
Use of Evidence from
Articles
Use of Course Readings
Analysis
Organization/Structure
Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

Met Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

Sonam,

Other Comments
This was a very well written piece. Nice job.
I thought you did a great job of incorporating textual
evidencenice work on that front.
To get this to the next level, Id like you to be super-duper
clear about what, exactly, youre arguingwhatever that it
is, it should appear in your thesis statement so that yor
reader can get a firm idea of where you want to take them
(and what points youll be using to make your case).
Id also like you to take a look at your topic sentencesthey
should be idea anchors for your paragraph.
All told, though, I was very happy with this!
Z
A-