Sevilla 1

Laura Sevilla
Professor Kaz
English 114B
18 March 2015

Adult Alcoholics
Within seconds of someone hearing the words adult alcoholics people instantly have a
negative perspective on the individual. Without realizing it many seem to always put alcoholics
aside without giving them the time of day because everyone is constantly assuming they are so
much better than them. Even though yes, many alcoholics should be responsible for the actions
they have brought upon themselves, they are constantly misinterpreted for being such horrible
people when in reality they might just need the help of some to help them find their way. Adult
alcoholics are looked down upon for constantly causing psychological damage to their loved
ones around, never being able to get out of rock bottom and never being able to actually be
someone in life.
With todays day in age it has been seen how the percentage of women drinking now is
starting to rise compare to how it was before. Mackenzie Carpenter states in the article Happy
Hour becoming a way of life for women Several times a week, in that brief lull that comes
after school ends and before the nightly supper-homework ritual begins, several mothers gather
on a front porch in Ben Avon for what they laughingly call wine hour. Many people have
looked down upon how women are turning to alcohol to go on with their days. One would even
say it is unfair to the kids that may have to come home and realize that their mother is drunk and
even know the mother may believe that she is still doing her daily duties of a mother she isnt

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completely such task at her 100% ability. Instead she may be causing damage to the children.
Not only the children but also, she goes into denial of the whole situation. Denial is one of the
first and hardest stages in which an alcoholic enters before they are able to overcome the whole
situation. This stage could last up to months and maybe even years until a true alcoholic is able
to understand what type of situation they truly are in. The situation all just depends on the
alcoholic and if they have the right support system around in order to be able to over such a huge
part of their life.
Normally an alcoholics isnt aware of the psychological damage that many of their loved
one experience during the whole process of having an alcoholic loved one. For example in the
case of Dr. Tian Dayton when she explains how she is the child of an alcoholic and her
experience through it all in the article Adult Children of Alcoholics. In this article Dr. Dayton
states, But still, this was my family, my dad, my monster, and I had to do something to make
emotional and psychological sense of living with a parent who made me feel both safe and
terrified -- a parent whom I loved and hated all at once. This shows how no matter what a child
may always love their parent because at the end of the day they are their parents but in no kind of
way is it acceptable for a child to feel terrified to be around their parents. It suddenly becomes
unfair of the child because one second they are able to experience the type of relationship that
they long for with their parent but at the same time but expect the fact that, that relationship
could change in a blink of an eye when the parent starts to drink. It leaves the child confused in
who their parent really is, even though the parents may not realize the damage being caused due
to the fact that they only remember the good times and not the times in which they are yelling at
their child for another drink.

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The idea of anger is always good that Jason Del Gandio explains also ties in with the
concept of children of alcoholics. It becomes impossible for both the alcoholic and the child of
the alcoholic. Normally would believe that anger is never good at all but Gandio states, Anger is
good because it expresses your deepest cares and concerns. And as an emotion, it should never
be bottled or ignore. If the child of the alcoholic was to keep the anger of having an alcoholic
parents bottled in at all times it could be a possibility that the child might even end up turning to
alcohol himself believing that that will be the only way to be able to feel good again. On the
other hand though if the child expressed his feelings of anger at the moment there is a higher
chance that the child will be able to grow from the experience instead of hit rock bottom. On the
other hand if the adult alcoholic is able to express his anger then maybe he might realize that the
anger he/she holds inside could slowly be cured and then not have to turn to alcohol in order to
fix himself. Gandio also states how one should try and find a positive way to express ones
anger. Expressing their anger in an appropriate matter would help the individuals grow together
instead of growing against each other. Many dont seem to grasp the idea that in order for an
alcoholic to grow they need the support of someone else to truly be able to overcome the whole
situation. Even though of course the situation could be overcome by themselves, there isnt
anything greater that will actually be able to help/ motivate the individual then knowing that at
the end of the whole situation they will still have their loved ones around.
Another concept that many people seem to think about alcoholics is that they dont have
their life together what so ever and they cant possibly make it in life to actually have a career
going for them. Jane E. Brody in the article High Functioning, but Still Alcoholicsexplains
how there are actually a lot of alcoholics who are considered to be some of the most respected
people out there. Being a high functioning alcoholic has some advantages that many would

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believe to be unfair to those alcoholics but arent high functioning. Brody states in his article
Surgeons have been known to operate with shaking hands, yet colleagues who knew or
suspected that alcohol abuse was the cause failed to confront the doctor. Many people seem to
feel that they have no right to call a high functioning alcoholic out since they are in no position
to do so, which doesnt help the actual alcoholics at all.
It s not only unfair but one would believe that all alcoholics should be treated the same
and looked down upon equally. It only makes the whole situation worst due to the fact that the
alcoholic is never able to actually seek the correct help for this situation since no one is calling
them out on it they believe that they dont have a problem what so ever. One may even go their
whole life thinking they shouldnt seek help until one truly hits rock bottom, which is something
that a non-alcoholic should be able to help not happen. One should be able to talk to the
alcoholic before they put themselves in a situation they cant get out of and then have no idea
what to do.
There is some incases in which many lower class alcoholics have been able to recover
just fine, without having a degree. For example in the case of Martin, from an AA meeting that I
had attended, started off in a really bad situation in which his parents divorced when he was 19.
He was so use to the idea of having his parents around his whole life that when he no longer had
both of them to turn to made it really difficult on him. He turned to alcohol since at the time he
believed that it was the only thing that could help him in a situation like this. As he started
getting older he realized that alcohol had completely taken over his life. He no longer was able
to start a new relationship and just found himself alone. He started to see how everyone always
looked so down upon him because of his problem but no one bothered to actually help him. It
was then that he decided that he was going to actually try and help those around him since there

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werent many people willing to help alcoholics. He talked to his local church to see if he could
have AA meetings there. He wanted to turn his life around once and for all.
This is his 5th year since the church accepted his proposal and opens his arms so that
people actually have a place in which they could go and vent to when they are truly at rock
bottom. Martin states It wasnt easy but I was so over the fact that whenever I tried to ask for a
shoulder to lean on, everyone immediately turned their back on. I thought about the life I was
living and didnt want it to continue that way. I was constantly feeling depressed which only
caused me to turn even more to alcohol and imagined all the other people who were out there
alone like me and instantly knew I had to do something about it. Martin is a great example of
someone who didnt have much to beginning with and managed to not only turn his life around
but also once help those around his neighborhood.
However even though some alcoholics show to have their life together there are many of
who dont have it all figured out, but since other people look at them in such a negative way they
themselves start to believe that they arent any good for anything and fall deeper into their
sadness and depression. It is important that everyone looks at the bigger picture and realizes that
its up to those who arent in so deep to help those who are instead of constantly bringing them
down. It may not seem like a big deal but if people were to actually look at this whole situation
with a different perspective helping those who need to be helped than we would start to see how
the number of alcoholics would started to lower. The alcoholics themselves will finally feel like
they belong to society instead of feeling so apart from society. Without the support of their loved
ones around the alcoholic would then experience overcoming a task that is already difficult
enough even harder than it should be.

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Annotated Bibliography
Brody, Jane E. High Functioning, but Still Alcoholics. The New York Times (2009) Web 6
February 2015
In the article High Functioning, but Still Alcoholics Brody mentions
how there seem to be many alcoholics who are considered to be High Functioning who are
arent overlooked as much as non high functioning alcoholics. Brody states how there have been
cases where in doctors have been intoxicated at work but other colleagues are afraid to confront
them about their problem. This article supports my article because it allows me to analyze
alcoholics from different social classes and how they are treated differently.
Carpenter, Mackenzie. Happy Hour becoming a way of life for women. Pittsburgh PostGazette (2009) Web. 25 February 2015
In the article Happy Hour becoming a way of life for women, Carpenter
mentions this new phase in which many women are going through in which before they go
home they

meet at a bar have drinks and then go home and continue with their wifely

duties.

Carpenter states how many of them dont believe hey should be

alcoholics just because

they want to relax before having to go home and cook for

their husbands. This article

supports my research in which many alcoholics go through

the first stage of denial and

dont want to truly admit they are alcoholics.

Del Gandio, Jason. Rhetoric for Radicals: A Handbook for 21st Century Activist. Canada. New
Society Publishers, 2008. Print.
In the book Rhetoric for Radicals, Del Gandio explains the idea of anger always
being good. Del Gandio states how one should never keep anger bottled up inside because it

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could only end up causing more harm to oneself. This book supports my research on the idea that
if alcoholics would be able to understand the idea of anger being an emotion that had to be felt
they wouldnt believe they are alone and end up drinking their emotions away.
Dr. Dayton, Tian. Adult Children of Alcoholics. Huffington Post, Healthy Living. (2012).
Web. 23 February 2015In the article Adult Children of Alcoholics,
Dr. Tian Dayton explains the many obstacles that children of alcoholic parents
have to
post-

face everyday. Dayton states how these children run the risk of going through
traumatic stress disorder at one point in there life due to all the problems the parents put
them through. This article supports my research on the negative effect caused my
alcoholic adults.

Sevilla, Laura. My Experience in an AA Meeting 20 February 2015. Print

Laura Sevilla explains her experience as she attended an Alcoholic Anonymous Meeting.
Sevilla states that in order to fully be able to understand an alcoholic one must put themselves in
their own shoes. This ethnographic supports my research because it will give me perspective on
an actual alcoholic rather than people just talking about them and allow me to also but myself in
their shoes.

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Work Cited
Brody, Jane E. High Functioning, but Still Alcoholics. The New York Times (2009) Web 6
February 2015

Carpenter, Mackenzie. Happy Hour becoming a way of life for women. Pittsburgh Post
-Gazette (2009) Web. 25 February 2015

Del Gandio, Jason. Rhetoric for Radicals: A Handbook for 21st Century Activist. Canada. New
Society Publishers, 2008. Print.

Dr. Dayton, Tian. Adult Children of Alcoholics. Huffington Post, Healthy Living. (2012).
Web. 23 February 2015In the article Adult Children of Alcoholics,

Sevilla, Laura. My Experience in an AA Meeting 20 February 2015. Print