April 1st, 2015

How-to-Guide
10 reasons why we hurt the ones we love
1. We may be angry or frustrated with ourselves
2. We can expect too much from them.
3. They can be the ones who have the courage to be honest and tell us
the truth, even when it might hurt.
4. We love them dearly but there are things about them that annoy us
terribly and we know were never going to be able to change them.
5. We feel misunderstood. We wish they could make a journey inside our
head and see things the way we see them, just because we think it is
the right way.
6. We are influenced by what we see and hear on TV. Violence, melodramatic scenes, pain and suffering, self-destruction they all can leave
marks in our subconscious
7. We love them but in the same time we hate them because they know
our weaknesses and theres no way we can hide.
8. We hurt them to give them comfort later. We all have the inner need
to cuddle, to protect the ones we love and we feel we have the right to
hurt them for the very reason that we love them so much and well
make up for it later.
9. We trust them and we know deep in our hearts that, no matter what
we do, they wont stop loving us.

How to avoid this

One way to avoid hurting the ones we love is sort of a process. We
need to find the cause or the root of the problem in the relationship.
Next is the building of trust, any relationship shouldn't lack trust.
Trust brings us closer and more comfortable to our loved ones.
Communication is a large part of any relationship also. Good communication can ensure that you will not hurt your loved one intentionally. We need to think before we speak. Lastly there should be a
building of self-esteem, you might be hurting your loved one because of a personal insecurity. Confidence and making yourself feel
better will give you confidence to avoid hurting the ones you love.

Biblical Perspective
God has called us to appreciate and encourage each other. We are instructed to love our neighbors; we shouldnt
forget that our family members are our closest neighbors!
We share something much more intimate than the same
street or community. We share the same flesh, the same
name, the same toilet.
Family is truly important to God, and no one knows this
better than Satan, Gods jealous enemy, who has a deep
interest in messing up Gods design. He will always try to
destroy that which God loves.
Teaching the importance of Gods design for the family
probably wont transform your kids behavior overnight,
but I believe a foundational part of loving each other and
loving Christ in our families is having a biblical understanding of why family matters. As you study Scripture
together, pay special attention to the importance that
God places on the human family, whether its in His design at the Creation, the family origins of the nation of
Israel or the life that Jesus was born into. Consider that
incredible truth for a moment: God chose to present His
only Son to the generations of the world upon the stage
of a common family doing common things. What does this fact say about Gods view of family life, and how does it affect your participation in family relationships?
Throughout Scripture, we see and understand our loving, gracious Father and His kingdom
through the concept of family. Gods interest in daily family interactions communicates
something deep and true about His love for humanity. It gives us a model to strive for as we
lead our own families.

What God says:

Unfortunately, this behavior will always be some part of life this side of
eternity. As the apostle Paul said, we all have the desire to do what is
right, but not the ability to carry it out (Romans 7:18). But it doesnt end
there! Paul also celebrates the grace and hope we have, saying there is
no condemnation for who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Our families arent perfect. But gradually we grow and transform, keeping our eyes fixed on the author of our faith. God, in the fullness of His
beingFather, Son, and Holy Spiritis the source of love and life in our
families; He helps us reflect that love, giving us a new life characterized
by joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:2223). What family wouldnt be more pleasant with these wonderful traits growing every day? These
things dont come in a singular event, but rather in the slow, growing process of learning how to love.

Its not easy, but it is real. Our families play a key role in this sacred journey ..