Shukla 1

Balya Shukla
Dr. Rand
UWRT 1102
12 February 2015
East, West?
People say whatever happens happens for a reason, and I understood the true meaning
of it only after that summer of 2013. It was August and everyone was ready to go to college
and start a new chapter in their lives, though I wasn't as excited as the rest. After graduating
from high school things weren't going the way I had planned it to. My parents were
separating and I had to make a decision of whom I wanted to stay with. I could either stay
here in the States with my father or move along with my mother to India. They thought
moving miles away would solve the problems between them and so my mother decided to
move to India where her house was. I chose to move with my mother because I didn't want
her to be alone especially after having to leave her family in the States. Though it was heart
wrenching to abandon my dreams for family issues, I saw it as an opportunity to take a year
off from academics and explore myself and also my country.
As I packed my bags almost everything was telling me not to leave. My large
suitcases packed with almost everything I owned sat near the door screaming that I can't
leave. I didn't want to leave anything behind since I was afraid I was seeing the place for the
last time. Even though everything was telling me not leave, I had made the decision and I
didn't want to disappoint anyone. I walked out of the door with my heart full of sorrow, my
eyes full of tears, and my mind full of negative thoughts thinking how could any parent do
this to their kids. My mother could see the pain for which she said that life is too short for
regrets and that one must move on. That didn't hit me then. Instead I thought it was because

Shukla 2
of them that I was in that situation. My parents became the locus point to all problems, but I
was too naive to know that what was about to happen was nothing less than a miracle.
Leaving everything behind, I finally arrived in India. Reality had hit me hard when I
opened the door to my house. I realized how everything is a cycle, and I was right back at the
same exact place where my journey first began. Less anxious than before, I decided that I
must move on with my life. The chance to explore my country went down the drain when I
decided to take up a job as a receptionist and volunteer for an NGO at the same time. I didnt
want to enjoy and explore my country as though I wanted to prove a point to my parents and
show them how miserable I was. My life had become very monotonous: I worked six days a
week for nine hours and spent my Sundays volunteering for the NGO. It distracted me from
my problems and also isolated me from my family which I thought was the best for me at that
time. I had made several friends with whom I would spend my evenings at a plaza talking
about some really meaningless things. By being so busy I was unconsciously running away
from my problems and in a way blocking my parents. Several months passed and I had come
to a point where I had no relationship with my parents. Whenever they would try to talk to
me, I would make an excuse of being busy. I rarely interacted with my mother who lived
under the same roof with me, whereas I had completely stopped calling my father who was
miles away. In utter desolation, I watched my dreams shatter like a broken glass, and I stood
there doing nothing. In fact as the time passed I began to enjoy this lifestyle and refused to
come out of it. There was a problem, but I chose to ignore it.
A couple of months later I was supposed to volunteer at a village and educate the
school kids primarily about water conservation. I was excited about this project and was
eager to meet kids and their families. We were assigned a host family who took care of our
stay and food. It was early in the morning when we arrived in the village. The journey was
exhausting because there were no concrete roads and the bumpy ground made it incredibly

Shukla 3
hard to commute. The houses were poorly constructed and most of the land was barren. We
reached the host house and they welcomed us warmly. Their family consisted of the mother,
father, their two daughters, and one son. They worked like a team to make us feel
comfortable. We began to discuss their lifestyles and the problems they have to face living in
a place like such. They told us about the problems they had to face with the irregular supply
of electricity, shortage of fresh water, and farming when there was no rain. They also told us
how they are fighting against the government to get the utilities they deserve in their area
without having to move. I noticed how despite the harsh circumstances they functioned as a
team and were supportive of each other. Not only did parents show immense love for their
kids, the kids reciprocated it with the same amount of respect and understanding. They did
not take each other for granted and shared a bond that I can never explain. I saw how little my
problems were in front of their problems and yet nobody ever complained. They appreciated
every little happiness as it came their way and that was what made them stronger. That day I
realized all my mistakes and how I was responsible for my own misery. My decision to run
away from the problem was what had caused me my happiness and my relationship with my
family. I then knew what I had to do.
The moment I got back from the village, I went straight to my mother and hugged her
tight. I told her how I loved her and that she meant the world to me. I thanked her for
everything that she had sacrificed just for me and my happiness. I apologized to her for my
inconsiderate behavior and promised her that I would never be so disrespectful and
unappreciative. The next step to clean up the mess I had made was to talk to my father. I still
remember our conversation. It was the conversation that made all the difference.
I called my father and without taking any pause I said, "I just want you to know that I am
sorry about the way I reacted. I was really inconsiderate and unsupportive when you two

Shukla 4
needed me the most. Sorry for being so selfish and making everything about myself. I hope
you're not mad at me. I really love you and I respect the decision you guys took."
To which he replied, I know I have failed as a parent and I want to apologize..."
I stopped him before he could complete his sentence and I said, "No. You are the best dad one
could ever ask for. I just didn't see it. I love you, papa."
We both started crying and the next thing I knew was he sent both of us a ticket saying
that he wants us back with him. I don't know what made him change his mind about being
together as a family, but what I realized was that avoiding a problem is not a solution. All
this while I was a pompous fool to believe that my problems were huge. All it really did was
stop me from being happy with whatever I had. And also affected my family in a negative
way. It was me who chose to be selfish without understanding the perspectives of those who
were the closest to me. It was me who chose to push away everyone who came to my rescue.
It was me who let my problems overpower my ability to be happy. The things that happened
were only the result of the decisions that I took. I realized that problems aren't big unless we
give it that status. Nothing lasts forever, not even problems. What really matters is that we
appreciate the people we have in our lives and learn to be happy no matter what.
Life has become a race for most of us, and each one of us is competing without
realizing that there is no finish line. It is a norm to follow a specific pattern or league. The
day you are born, society starts teaching you to be ambitious, and forces you to set goals that
only give sheer disappointments if not achieved. First, you are expected to get straight A's in
high school and once that is done, you are expected attend a reputable college in order pursue
a career and be "successful." It is a race and everyone must run and run harder, and God
forbid if you decide to rest or walk at your own speed, you are considered to be a loser. This
mentality is so instilled in us that we start to connect our ability to be happy to how
successful we are. As a kid, my parents never had high expectations from me nor did they set

Shukla 5
high goals. They always encouraged me with everything I initiated and supported me through
all my failures. What surprises me is that then where did this strong sense of ambition and
competition come from? Unconsciously it was the societal pressure that made me so furious
when I had to move with my mother to India. I thought that I would never win the "race" if I
took a break. It was only after I visited the village is when I realized that there is no race. Life
is about being happy with what you have as well as making others happy. I leaned that
nothing other than myself can affect my happiness and that whatever happens happens for a
reason. The huge factors that helped me change my opinion were my understanding parents,
and the villagers. They taught me the true meaning of happiness.
During the time of the conflict, my parents explained to me multiple times that there
was nothing to be upset about, and that everything is going to be alright. They dealt with it in
a really mature way and despite the fact that I tried to block them from my life, they knew
that things would return back to normal and continued to give me my space. What influenced
them to act the way they did was their maturity and ability to see the situation clearly. Also, it
was the villagers who changed my perspective about my situation. Their sense of community
made me realize that it is important to appreciate everything in life and not complain about
the small failures. They had a completely different perspective on life. They believed that life
is beautiful and every moment needs to cherished. They fought against their problems
together without blaming each other for it. They set goals that they knew they could achieve
and refused to be under any societal pressure of being successful. My ability to be happy was
clouded by high ambitions and ego. What made my perspective change was when I had to
volunteer at a village for my NGO. It happened when I was expecting it the least. I was out
there to educate young kids about water conservation, but what I learnt from them in return
was a life lesson much more important. They lived in tough conditions, but they knew how to
smile and be happy. They knew how to fight their circumstances, and stand strong as a

Shukla 6
community. Instead of blaming each other, they brought solutions to the table. I on the other
hand had been very immature dealing with my problems. My perspective changed because I
could relate to the villagers. I was going through some problems of my own, and when I
compared the way I dealt with my problem to their ways, I understood what an idiot I was. I
could see how my problems were nothing in front of them, yet they didnt criticize their lives.
There are people starving on this planet, there are people struggling for basic needs; I
on the other hand had everything that completes a person, yet I complained about everything
I did not have. This conflict was huge at that moment but as I grew over it, I realized that
sometimes people dont appreciate what they already have and I was one of them. Now when
I look at myself, I see an improved person who has the ability to withstand any problem
without complaining. I have started to appreciate everything that God has given me and I also
try to bring happiness in other peoples lives by showing them how beautiful this world is.
This world is what you think of it, so why not see the positives and enjoy every second of it.
I have learnt a lot from this conflict experience. The most significant lesson of all
being that it is not right to take things for granted because sometimes what we consider as
necessities are luxuries for others. Also, that it is very important to understand other people to
understand ourselves. It is everyones duty as a citizen of this world to lift the needy out of
their affliction and provide them with a better life because you cannot grow as a person
unless you consider other peoples circumstances. Conflicts are means through which we can
learn and therefore we need to embrace all the challenges that come our way and strive to
become a better person.

Shukla 7

Process Notes
1

How has your method of writing this paper been similar or different to that which you
used for other prior papers?
I have written different narratives for different classes, but I have never used the
method I used this time. This time I mapped out every significant event in my life
after which I picked out the one that had the most significance and which also
involved conflict. In this process I created an outline of what I wanted my paper to
say. Since my story took place over a period of time, it was different from the stories I
had written prior to this one.

What revisions do you think are most significant? What improvements should a
reader notice?
I have added some details to the story and also organized my essay in a different way.
I have also changed some grammar errors by being consistent with the use of past
tense throughout the essay. Also, I have changed some of the words and have made an
effort to say more with less words.

How were you helped by a classmates peer response?

I learned many things about my narrative through peer review. They told me different
areas that I need to work on like details, grammar and vocabulary. They also
suggested a great thesis which guided me through finding the right thesis for my
narrative. Getting a different perspective made me understand my narrative better and
I got a chance to enhance the mediocre work I had before review.

How would you still like to improve this paper if you had more time?

Shukla 8
I believe that there is always plenty of scope for improvement and time enables one to
do so. I would like to learn from getting more opinions on my paper and make
changes according to what will make the narrative more engaging to the readers.
5

What was your most difficult choice to make when you revised your paper?
Organization of the text was the most difficult step because I did not know how to
arrange the paragraphs in order for it to flow smoothly. I did not want it to sound
choppy for which I had to make several changes for the work to make sense. Also, I
faced challenges when I had to add details to my narrative. I worked hard on those
two areas specifically when revising my paper.

What are you most proud about during this process?

I have definitely seen an improvement in my writing style. In this process, I learned
how to answer different aspects of a narrative and successfully incorporate it in my
work. I have become more expressive in my work and that is something I am proud
of. Prior to writing this essay, I was limited with my word choice and how I get my
point across to a reader, but now I can see a growth in that. I am not perfect, in fact
there is a lot more to learn, but I think I did a good job analyzing my narrative and
making it more expressive.