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Leda Erlandson

Developmental Psychology 1100


March 29, 2015
R.A #2
Adolescence/Dating. Thoughtfully address the following questions and then interview
someone of the opposite gender to find out his/her views as well. Write your answer,
your interviewees answers and then summarize the similarities and differences between
them. Apply developmental concepts to your findings. See conclusion section above for
the type of conclusion required.
(1) What does dating mean to me?
Myself: Dating to me means to go out with another whom we both have
similar interest for. We would most likely have a similar interest towards each
other, and the date is testing whether we truly find something compelling
about one another enough to go out on a second date. Dates to me also can
mean just going out to have fun or spend time with somebody while getting to
know him or her. It can be pure friendship, or it could be how I previously
stated, an initiation almost to see how compatible we could be for a
relationship.
Interviewee (Dylan): Dating for me is to understand another person we I
have interest in. I want to date this person because I see potential in having a
relationship with them. The first date is typically just getting to know my date
and deciding if they are relationship worthy.
(2) What are the qualities of a person Id like to date?
Myself: When it comes to dating, I always want to go with someone whom I
have similar interests with. That can be something like sharing the same
major, or maybe enjoying the similar hobbies or friends. I also love being
around or dating someone with a sense of humor. I feel that humor is a great
attribute to a date.
Interviewee (Dylan): I would like to date someone who has similar interests
and someone who is intelligent. I myself am not an outgoing person so I
typically want to date someone who is outgoing to sort of counterbalance the
relationship. I also want someone who is outdoorsy. I enjoy hiking and going

out to do things outside. A person who is kind is also a great attribute, I dont
want to date someone who is irritatingly kind, but not someone who is mean.
(3) What are qualities I have to offer a date?
Myself: I feel that when it comes to dating, I offer a lot of fun in a date. Im
very lenient when it comes to going out anywhere and I enjoy doing
adventurous things like hiking or going on any kind of date. I also think I can
be pretty funny which is always nice to crack the ice between another and
myself. I also dont mind paying for a date rather than the guy always paying
because I know we are all struggling college students so I dont think it would
be fair.
Interviewee (Dylan): I feel that I myself am intelligent, and I think Im a
pretty nice guy who is willing to do anything for a girl. I have a hard time self
reflecting this kind of question, but I think I also would say I am very lenient
about where we go on dates, and I would love to cook for a date.
(4) What is the best way to initiate a relationship with someone Im interested in
dating?
Myself: I feel that the easiest way is to just start up a conversation with them.
Whether it be the first time I see them, or we become friends first. I think
finding mutual group and knowing if he or I have any attraction to each other
first is great so we dont waste each others time. Myself asking, or letting
them ask has always worked out.
Interviewee (Dylan): I havent had any an luck with this part yet, but in the
past I always try to communicate with my date first, and see where they are on
the relationship level. If I see some sort of potential I push it a step further and
just ask them if they want to be in a relationship.

(5) What are my personal values and beliefs related to serious dating?

Myself: As I stated earlier, I think that its always polite for the guy to pay for
the first date, but it we start dating consistently I wouldnt expect them to pay
for everything, since we are college students and its not easy. Another person
value when it comes to serious dating is to really get to know my date. If we
are getting serious, I want to know more about who you are, and ideally Its
great if we meet each others familys. If they are not willing, then I dont
consider us to be seriously dating.
Interviewee (Dylan): I have never seriously dated, but being honest in a
potentially serious relationship is very important to me. We need to be able to
communicate effectively, and being faithful (not going on other dates, or
cheating etc.) is extremely important. We also need to consult each other
before major decision are made in our relationship.
(6) What are some indicators of when Im ready for serious dating?
Myself: Some physical indicators would be if we have been going out for
more than a couple months, and we become exclusive. It is also an indicator if
we go to each others places frequently enough that we almost feel at home
with them. An emotion indicator would be the pain of thinking of losing this
person or breaking up with them. At that point, its an emotional connection
that means more than just how many dates we went on, but something that we
are both connected to each other with emotionally.
Interviewee (Dylan): I would think that some indicators would be both
physical and emotional. We both need to know each other and feel like we are
on the same level. We need to emotionally connected and love being around
each other. Bickering in a relationship is inevitable, but as long as we can
overcome it and not hold grudges for long, I would say those are indicators for
serious dating.

(7) What would I consider a perfect date?


Myself: A perfect date would be one that I had the most fun on, and having a
connection with my date. We could be doing the most exciting thing, but if we
do not connect through emotion or by similarities and interests, the date is just

boring. A perfect date isnt about where we go, it how much we enjoy being
around each other and the connection we have.
Interviewee (Dylan): I dont have any specifics on what kind of date we go
on, but rather us just enjoying yourself. We both need to be having fun, and
we both should be enjoying each others company. Having a connection
with my date would also be ideal, I mean, the whole point of the date is to see
if we can potentially be in a relationship.
Similarities and diffrences
When it came to both of our answers, I felt that we were both pretty close
to almost every single question. Dylan is my roommate, and my boyfriends
best friend who just turned 18 a month ago, so it was interesting to hear his
opinion. One thing that we both didnt seem to address very prominently was
the appearance of our date. We both think appearances matter, but it isnt the
biggest deal as long as they have a great personality and is someone we enjoy
being around rather than thinking about ourselves. I found this interesting
because appearance seems to be a huge attribute for the Adolescences
Development in cognitive development, but more specifically, the adolescent
egocentrism.
Another similarity which wasnt really presented in the interview but we
both agree on is Serial Monogamy. This relates to emerging adulthood, but I
asked this question purely to see his stand point, and I was surprised by his
answer. Having one-night stands isnt fulfilling or ideal and we think that
having a steady partner before engaging in sex is best for whoever our partner
would be and us. This stands to be true because it is likely to produce emotion
stress if in a relationship like friends with benefits.
When it comes to cognitive development, Dylan seems to combine
deductive reasoning and inductive reasoning quite well. This sort of abstract
thinking is prevalent in adolescence, both thinking from a general statement to
more specifics, and starting from a specific example to a general conclusion.
For example, when it comes to dating we both answered these questions by
using subject thought that arise from our personal experiences and perceptions
of the dating world, but he also used deductive reasoning because we brought

in our feelings, emotional experience in dating and logical thinking to


understand ourselves, by thinking about the general term of dating and then
bringing it into the specifics of how his dating life would be with another.
During the interview I could see signs of impulsive thought processes going
on which is also relevant to Adolescence. This was interesting because I knew
he could use hypothetical-deductive reasoning, but I didnt always seem to be
used, thus resulting in impulsive thoughts such as answering questions about
first kisses and his reactions. Another thing I came across while I was
interviewing Dylan was his psychosocial development, but more specifically
his view about himself or Identity. He truly saw himself a certain was in terms
of roles, his attitude towards life and others, personal believes, and his goals
and aspirations in life. This was important to find during this interview
because it proves his Identity vs Diffusion complex, and obviously was able to
find his identity, according to Eriksons fifth stage of development. Dylan was
able to answer the question of Who am I? quite easily when asked, What
are the qualities I have to offer?
In conclusion, I thought that this was a very interesting interview. I was
able to see a lot of similarities between him and myself, but I was also about
to see quite a few differences. I am only 19, so I am not far beyond this stage,
but I know that I have passed it and I myself. Looking at it like this have
helped me understand more and understand my past actions and experiences
while also looking at another individual who is going through the same
development and being able to understand it.