WRITING REFLECTION # ____3_____

Mrs. Cracchiolo (2014-2015)

PIECE OF WRITING ___________Oneself and the Loved Ones____________________
In class writing OR out of class writing
1. Looking at the feedback, what/where do you think you did particularly well?
The dictions are strong and make the paper seem more professional. The sentences vary
on how they start. A lot of the explanations have a sequence and describes the reasoning
well. The closing sentence of each supporting detail includes something to connect to the
next topic Im going to talk about. Present tense is used throughout the essay. The
concluding sentence is clear for the audience. Most of the closing wraps up the
supporting detail well. The essay concludes well and the concluding paragraph also
sequences the events well with summary of the supports. The quotes are cited correctly
and are set up in some way. The paper is easy to follow with the format.

2. Looking at the feedback, what do you think was the area you need the most
improvement in and why? (Be Specific)
Some of the sentences seems like they need to be simplified or worded differently in
order to have the audience understand what Im trying to say and make the sentences
flow. Some sentences may need to be broken down, so there isnt too much information
in one sentence. Most of the sentences, though, seem like they need to be combined and
organized to make the idea more clear to read. The topic sentence and supporting details
should include some kind of connection to the thesis statement in order to clearly state
what the idea is about. The topic sentences may need transition for better flow. Many of
the sentences need to be rephrased for the readers to understand. The supporting detail
should be more elaborated. The quotes used should directly address how the character
was impacted, so the explanation can have a better connection with the thesis. The
quotes seemed weak and can be replaced by a different quote. There could be transition
to show one idea go to the next idea and make the flow better. Some grammar errors can
be fixed to make the paper more professional. If I had a little more summary, it may have
helped for better understanding. The first explanation of the third paragraph is mostly
summary and needs to further explain one trait of Amir that was created by Baba and
how Amir was affected by Baba. What kind of person did he become? Further explanation
is needed elsewhere as well. Maybe the concluding sentence can relate to what the next
paragraph will be about. The closing can be clearer with transition to show the end of one
supporting detail. The sentences need to connect back to the thesis! The conclusion in
the last paragraph should include a summary of the past and present Amir. I need a work
cited page next time.

3. Did the loop cycle work for you? Why or why not?
The loop cycle did work for me because I was able to explain the impact of each
character on Amir through using the supporting details. It helped to have a structure, so I
can explain each of the points in consistency and in detail. It helps to have a closing and
concluding sentence to go back to what I talked about in the beginning. The paper
became organized and pretty easy to follow for the audience for good understanding
without the details being too overpowering.

4. Body paragraph construction is the most important part of your paper since this is the
area that uses evidence to back up your claims. Looking at your paper and feedback,
rate yourself overall on the following elements that correspond to the loop structure.
(STRONG
AVERAGE
WEAK
MISSING)
Topic Sentences:
________Average__________
Suppoting Details (SD): _________Weak___________
Explanations (EXP):
________Average__________
Closings (CLOS):
________Average__________
Transitions:
__________Weak___________
Incorporating Quotes:
________Average__________
Set up quotes:

________Average__________

Used quote and documenting properly

________Strong__________

Explain relevance:

_________Weak____________

Concluding sentences:

_________Strong__________

OVERALL RATING:

_______Average_________

5. The big question: based on your comments, checklist where you rated yourself on body
paragraph structure, and overall score, what NEW GOAL do you have for your next
writing assignment? In other words, what skills will you try to focus on in the future and
why?
GOAL:
I want to be able to be able to have more knowledge in rewording sentences to make the
essay easier for the readers to understand. On the next paper, I would also want to include
more transition. The next assignment should include more connection between the
paragraphs and such as well as the thesis.

WHY:
With the arrangement of words and diction, I hope the readers will have a clearer
understanding of what I am trying to say. The transitions would give the flow, so readers can
follow the essay easily. Also, the paper will be more organized, professional, and well
developed in gathering the idea into one big idea with more connections. Through these
goals, I wish for the readers to be in well understanding of my paper and having an opinion
in agreeing disagreeing with the thesis after looking through the details in the paper.

6. Any other feedback youd like to share??